The Top 10 Things Guests Should Never Do at Weddings

While attending a wedding may seem like a straightforward task—RSVP, arrive on time, bring a gift, don't make a scene, and have fun—wedding guest etiquette mistakes are a lot more common than you might think. No, we’re not talking about witnessing someone object at the ceremony or incite a fight during the reception. Many individuals simply don’t know the rules of decorum that come with being a guest and, as a result, do things that should be avoided on a couple’s big day. From ignoring dress codes to overindulging at the bar and rescinding their RSVP at the last minute, there are scores of major faux pas guests regularly make at modern-day nuptials.

Luckily, you won’t ever fall victim to these mishaps, as we put together a guide on what not to do as a wedding attendee, VIP or not. Here, three experts share the top etiquette mistakes wedding guests make today. Plus, they explain why you should steer clear of these avoidable blunders. 

Ask to Bring a Plus-One

Avoid asking the couple if you can bring a plus-one when you RSVP, shares etiquette expert Diane Gottsman. If you didn't see the plus-one indication on the invitation, then it's best to respect that choice and attend solo—or decline if you don’t feel comfortable going to the wedding alone. "[Asking] puts them on the spot, especially if it's stated on the invitation," she explains. "Asking to bring extras is not appropriate."

Have a plus-one approved? Be sure they follow all proper etiquette rules, as well. "A plus-one should follow all of the good guest rules that the invited guest would be expected to uphold," reminds Gottsman. "Say hello to [the couple], introduce himself/herself to fellow guests, mix and mingle, and don’t over imbibe."

Rescind an RSVP Confirmation

On the subject of guest attendance, it’s poor etiquette to rescind an RSVP once you’ve already confirmed you’ll be at the wedding. Of course, things come up that may require you to say "no" when you have already said “yes,” but try to be mindful of the circumstances. “Please be sure you can attend before confirming your RSVP,” advises wedding planner Lea Stafford. “Time and resources are invested with each response—meals, seating, and transportation logistics—all of which are affected by the guest count. If you need to change your RSVP, please do so as early as possible. This allows the couple to adjust their plans and properly address all impacted details during the planning and production processes.” 

Disregard the Dress Code

So much mental energy goes into planning a wedding, and one of those careful considerations is the dress code. So if the couple has asked guests to wear a specific type of attire, they should respect that. “This is a big one—please follow the dress code. Nobody wants a grand ceremony shot with everyone in black except for one person in pink or purple. It disrupts the entire look and feel of the event and is also disrespectful to the couple,” notes wedding planner Lisa Lafferty. If you have questions about what you should wear, approach someone in the wedding party, like the maid of honor or best man, to help you with your fashion choices (the soon-to-be-newlyweds already have a lot to think about). 

Wear White

Perhaps the most important dress code rule is to avoid wearing white. “It’s important to be considerate of the wedding guest attire rules, such as refraining from wearing specific colors (often white) or adhering to the dress code, as these guidelines are in place to honor the couple's special day,” Stafford emphasizes. 

Skip Seats at the Ceremony

You may not think it’s a big deal to skip a seat—or several—at your loved one’s wedding, but it is. Gaps in seating can make photos look weird and cause the ceremony to look disjointed. As Stafford points out, “It’s important not to leave empty seats, as this can create visual gaps in photos and affect the event's atmosphere.”

Arrive Late to the Ceremony

Being late happens—we can't all be on time for every single occasion. Do try to arrive well ahead of time for a wedding ceremony out of respect for the couple, though. “Being on time is crucial for maintaining positive energy throughout the event. This helps guests avoid missing important moments and keeps the event flowing smoothly, preventing any interruptions to the timeline and services,” Stafford says. “Additionally, punctuality sets a respectful tone for all guests and contributes to an enjoyable atmosphere for everyone involved.” 

If you do arrive late, don’t make a scene, notes Gottsman. Simply “wait in another area and join for the cocktail hour,” advises Lafferty, or slip in quietly and sit at the back so as to not disrupt the rest of the ceremony. 

Post About the Wedding Before the Couple

Before you post a quick photo or video of your friend or family member walking down the aisle, posing for portraits, or boogieing on the dance floor, ask yourself a series of questions: Is this picture appropriate? Would the couple be okay with having this detail online? Has the bride already posted and revealed her wedding dress on her page? According to Stafford, this ensures you’re being mindful of the couple's privacy and prevents you from displaying anything the newlyweds would’ve otherwise liked to keep offline. In fact, it’s best to wait until the couple publishes anything on social media before broadcasting on Instagram, TikTok, X, or any other platform. “This will offer them the first opportunity to reveal their special moments and remain unplugged a little longer,” Stafford adds. 

Another social media tip? Never post professional images before the couple, no matter your role in the wedding, Lafferty says. “As vendors, we always wait and ask for permission before sharing anything. I have contractual rules stating that all vendors working at our events must abide by this policy,” she explains. “Posting sneak peeks can spoil the experience for the couple and their guests, especially if some guests see the posts and it ruins the initial experience.”

Get in the Way of the Photographer

Wedding photographers have a very important role in a wedding—their efforts allow the newlyweds to look back on their special day for years to come. That’s why Stafford, Lafferty, and Gottsman emphasize the importance of never getting in the way of the wedding photographer while they're doing their job. “Be mindful of the professional photo and video teams. Avoid stepping into their frame, taking control of the shot coordination (without prompt), or holding up their shots,” says Stafford. “By doing this, you will allow them to capture the planned shots, energy level, and timing they were contracted to provide.”

Lafferty even shares that it’s best to just put your phone away and enjoy the moment, as this will allow the photographer to take candid pictures sans the appearance of a cell phone. “I cannot emphasize this enough—too many guests selfishly want photos for themselves, which can be disruptive and get in the way. Often, these guests end up in photos with their phones covering their faces, which ruins potentially perfect pictures of the couple. Please stay out of the way and put your phones down,” she explains. 

Consume Too Much Alcohol

This one may seem obvious, but it happens more often than not. “Getting drunk and embarrassing themselves” is among the top mistakes Gottsman advises wedding guests to avoid making. It's just not respectful to the couple or to other guests. “Be sure to enjoy yourself, but avoid overindulging. This is essential to help maintain a safe, enjoyable, and peaceful environment throughout the day,” Stafford says. “By being mindful of your alcohol consumption, your judgment remains clear, and you can fully engage in the celebration while ensuring that everyone around you feels comfortable and respected.”

Forgo Giving a Gift

Yes, weddings can be very pricey for guests, but this doesn't mean that you should skip a gift altogether. “Use the registry, find something within your budget, and have it delivered," advises Gottsman. 

Heeding the above wedding-guest advice, says Stafford, is ultimately not about you at all. Doing so shares your care for the couple of the hour. “Whether or not you agree with every rule, remember that you are attending the event to support and celebrate a loved one. Your careful following of these expectations reflects your regard for their wishes and contributes to their ideal atmosphere."