10 Things Brides Do That Annoy Their Bridesmaids

While no bride ever sets out to earn a reputation for being demanding, ungrateful, or rude, plenty of well-intentioned people make mistakes that leave their wedding attendants somewhere on the emotional spectrum between exasperated and angry. Since your wedding party is made up of your best friends and closest family members, the last thing you want is to damage your relationships while planning your big day.

So, to help you avoid receiving the dreaded "bridezilla: label, we put together a list of the top 10 wedding decisions brides make that bother their bridesmaids. From fussy mood boards to constant check-ins and from skyrocketing costs to an ungrateful attitude, be sure to avoid these blunders at all costs to ensure a stress-free experience for your nearest and dearest.

They Require Identical Gowns

Each of the people in your wedding party has their own unique style, personality, and shape—and forcing them all into the exact same dress is one of the quickest ways to squash their excitement for your big day. “Choosing an unflattering bridesmaid dress is devastating!” says Laura Ritchie of Grit and Grace. “Strapless looks good on some, certain colors look awful on others. If you are going to go traditional and have everyone match, be very cognizant of body shape and skin tone, and give options for silhouettes.”

They Create Fussy Mood Boards

Some brides take the opposite approach: They let their attendants choose their own gown—and then ruin the experience by providing extensive mood boards filled with picky details. “Elaborate mood boards can be time-consuming and stress-inducing for bridesmaids who have busy lives,” says Kia Marie of Kia Marie Events. “Keep things simple with a clear, concise vision, and trust your bridal party's judgment. Select a color palette and let bridesmaids choose styles that suit them, ensuring a cohesive look without forcing uniformity.”

If you’re set on creating a list of guidelines, make sure they are straightforward. “Overly elaborate mood boards are annoying! Let the girls live,” says Ritchie. “If you are allowing them to pick their own dress, then give them a one-pager guide with neckline, hem length, color palette, and a handful of pre-approved suggestions.”

They Require Professional Hair and Makeup—But Don't Pay for It

Insisting that the wedding party has professional hair and makeup done for the wedding—but not paying for it—is another bridal faux pas. “You have to be respectful of your bridal party’s budget constraints,” says Ritchie. “It’s always nice to pay for them. If that’s not possible, suggest paying for one service, hair or makeup, since perhaps they are capable and comfortable managing the other themselves.” 

Even if you do pay, though, you can’t take control of the hairstyles and beauty looks your party chooses. "Specific hairstyles may not suit everyone’s hair type or personal style,” says Kia Marie. “Provide general guidelines or inspiration and allow bridesmaids to choose a style that works best for them."

They Plan Pricey Pre-Wedding Trips

For bridal parties, the costs of a wedding mount quickly—and brides who insist on a lineup of pre-wedding parties in exotic (and expensive) locations only make it worse. “What happened to staying local and going all out for a bachelorette party?” says Ritchie. “Read the room and know your besties. If they are going to go broke by you getting married, they are going to be annoyed and miffed.” Trade a destination weekend for a hotel within driving distance, an upscale tasting menu reservation, or a day-long wellness experience. “Destination pre-wedding bonding trips can be expensive and logistically challenging,” says Kia Marie. “Opt for a local weekend retreat or a special day out that's more accessible and affordable.”

They Forget Their Bridesmaids Have Lives

Your wedding may be at the top of your mind most of the time, but trust us: For your bridesmaids, it’s not. Don’t call during business hours, don’t expect your wedding party to attend multiple bridal showers, and don’t forget to ask about their jobs, families, kids, and hobbies when you chat. “Respect their personal time,” says Kia Marie. “Continuous availability demands can interfere with personal time and responsibilities. Limit to one shower, or ensure that each event is optional and not overly burdensome, and schedule a weekly check-in at a convenient time or use a group chat for updates."

They Let the Costs Balloon

Demanding a lineup of premium fashion, travel, and pre-wedding parties is another guaranteed way to get on your bridal party’s bad side. “Asking bridesmaids to cover large costs (such as the bridal shower, bachelorette party, or travel) can be financially burdensome. Discuss costs upfront and find ways to share expenses or minimize financial strain,” says Kia Marie. Wedding-day attire can also stress your party people. "High costs for dresses, shoes, and accessories can strain budgets; choose affordable options or allow bridesmaids to wear something they already own, perhaps with a unifying accessory,” says Kia Marie. 

They Assign Too Many DIY Projects

While planning the bridal shower and bachelorette party are tasks that typically fall to the bridesmaids, you shouldn’t expect your friends and family members to handle the big-ticket items, like making all the food, building a balloon arch, or designing the signage. "Assigning significant tasks can feel like unpaid labor and add undue pressure, [and] numerous DIY projects can be time-consuming and overwhelming,” says Kia Marie. “Hire professionals for major tasks and ask for help with only minor, manageable duties."

They Make the Wedding a Bore

Once your wedding weekend is in full swing, you can make the entire affair more fun for your bridesmaids with a little bit of thoughtful scheduling. "Multiple or lengthy rehearsals can be inconvenient and hard to fit into busy schedules,” says Kia Marie. “Limit rehearsals to what's absolutely necessary and keep them brief and efficient." 

On the day of your wedding, create a timeline that allows your wedding party plenty of time to actually, well, party. "[Don’t make] bridesmaids wait hours between events: Long gaps can be tiring and inconvenient, especially if there’s nothing planned during the downtime,” says Kia Marie. “Plan a schedule that keeps waiting time to a minimum, and consider providing a comfortable space for downtime if gaps are unavoidable." (And don’t forget to feed them: Have breakfast, lunch, and plenty of snacks available in your getting-ready suite and between photo sessions.)

They Don't Provide a Day-of Schedule

By the time your wedding day arrives, you’re likely able to recite the timeline from memory, but your wedding party will need their own copy to stay in the loop. “Without a doubt, the number one thing I hear the wedding party upset about is the lack of information early and often enough: Where, when, how, why, how much, and what’s expected/needed/required/optional,” says event planner Kelly McWilliams. “‘Where exactly do I have to go?’ ‘How do I get there—and back?’ ‘When do I need to get there, and when will I be done?’ Just ask yourself every possible question they could have and give it to them in a paper form, by email, by text, and in a digital guide they can keep on their phone.”

They Seem Ungrateful

One of the fastest ways to leave your bridal party annoyed and upset is to skimp on showing your appreciation. “Feeling unappreciated after investing time, money, and effort can lead to resentment,” says Kia Marie. “Regularly express your gratitude and acknowledge their contributions in meaningful ways." Honor the commitments of time, effort, and money they made to your wedding with personal notes, gifts, and mementos, says McWilliams. “Not being kind and showing your gratitude for what your most important people are doing with and for you—even if they’re having fun, too—is not cool,” she says. “Go beyond saying thank you: Send thoughtful notes of gratitude throughout your wedding planning, on the wedding day, and after the wedding. You can send text messages when they pop into your mind, you can drop a card in the purse when they aren’t looking, or you can mention them in a toast. Yes, they’re honored that you chose them, but being chosen is also a big commitment.”