![Woman Taking Off Round Engagement Ring With Double Band](https://www.brides.com/thmb/1w3ZhSiCN05myA-pbbyr0RS4R5c=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/why-women-not-wearing-engagement-rings-getty-recirc-0624-a31e52be5b454402b66e246c06725f0d.jpg)
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In a lot of ways, a marriage proposal—and the ring that comes with it—can change your entire life. Whether you’ve always dreamt of having a fairy-tale wedding or just recently envisioned spending your best years with your partner, an engagement is one meaningful way to jumpstart a shared future. But let’s be real: Proposals are also exciting because they come with some sparkle. Viewed as a public symbol of love and commitment, engagement rings serve as a continuous reminder of your love story; they're a tangible promise of "Yes, I will” that is later translated into "Yes, I do." In other words, engagement rings are a pretty big deal—and they also require quite the investment.
It's curious, then, that more and more people are opting out of wearing this important—and costly—piece of jewelry. Yes, you read that correctly: While the concept of receiving an engagement ring during a proposal hasn’t changed (and they're only getting bigger and more expensive, per market insights from Business Insider), many individuals aren’t wearing their sparklers much after they’ve tied the knot.
We have the data to prove it: According to a recent Brides poll conducted on Instagram, of the 5,087 users surveyed, 21 percent admitted that they don't wear their engagement ring daily; some noted that they only slip their rock on a few times a week and others explained that they only wear it for special occasions. This raises a few more questions: Do engagement rings lose their significance after the wedding? Does a decline in daily engagement ring wearing have anything to do with a fizzling of the honeymoon phase or decreased marital bliss? Why do we put such an emphasis on the rock and then—just like that—lock it away in the vault?
To better understand why women aren't wearing their engagement rings after the wedding, despite societal pressures, substantial costs, and extra-large stones (of the 40 percent of users with engagement rings between one and two carats, 35 percent were over the two mark), we tapped several experts, from gemologists and jewelry designers to psychologists. Here’s why it's becoming more and more common to sideline your engagement ring after the wedding—and what that really means about its significance in the first place.
Meet the Expert
- Benu Lahiry, LMFT, is a psychotherapist and the chief clinical officer at Ours, a modern-day relationship wellness company that offers virtual couples therapy and premarital counseling.
- Jillian Sassone is a jewelry designer and the founder of Marrow Fine, an accessories line that reimagines fine and bridal jewelry through design and material.
- Lisa Ingram is the vice president of merchandising at KAY Jewelers, an American jewelry company with over 900 stores across the United States.
- Carolyn Powery is a certified etiquette coach, image consultant, and the president of Prestige Etiquette & Image Consulting LLC.
- Sarah Gundle, PsyD is a psychologist in private practice and an assistant professor at the Icahn School of Medicine, Mount Sinai Medical Center. She is currently writing a book about breakups.
Personal Choice and Lifestyle Shifts Play a Big Role
It might sound cliché, but times are changing—and the rules around marital behavior and engagement ring wearing have shifted as a result. Not wearing your engagement ring every day, then, isn’t necessarily a decision that points towards anything negative or positive—according to several experts, it’s simply a personal choice. “In this day and age, people in committed relationships are generally feeling more freedom and autonomy. They’re not letting their jewelry define their relationship status,” says Benu Lahiry, a psychotherapist.
Jillian Sassone, the founder and creative director of Marrow Fine, agrees, noting that lifestyle is also a factor. “While some never part with their rings (regardless of how long they’ve been married), others reserve them for special occasions or will put them on when getting dressed for the day," she says. "Ultimately, the choice revolves around what aligns best with your lifestyle and personal preferences.”
The lifestyle factor may be in part connected to the rise of work-from-home culture, which could be contributing to a shift in jewelry wearing habits. If you spend all day indoors, do you really need to put on your engagement ring? It's an interesting question—and one that leads to additional queries about who we truly wear these rings for.
Those who do leave the house for work, on the other hand, might feel safer leaving these prized pieces behind (this was true for 50 percent of our non-engagement ring wearers, who cited "work or lifestyle conflicts" as the driving reason behind their decision). “For one thing, today’s world moves faster than ever before and many individuals have demanding jobs or active lifestyles that may not be conducive to wearing intricate or valuable jewelry every day,” says Lisa Ingram, the vice president of merchandising at KAY Jewelers. People who work with their hands—chefs, dog-walkers, doctors, you name it—run the risk of damaging or losing their sparkler, and may skip wearing it daily as a result.
This is particularly true for new moms, who tend to sport their wedding bands solo (sans the engagement ring) while caring for their babies, shares Sassone. “Engagement rings, especially those with more elaborate or delicate designs, may not always be comfortable for everyday wear—and that’s totally okay,” she adds. Nearly one third of our readers agreed: Of those polled, 28 percent said they regularly wear their wedding band independently, without their engagement ring.
![Engaged Couple on Beach Taking Selfie to Show Off Engagement Ring](https://www.brides.com/thmb/fvkyM1NWvqREWyKWP8eru5vglNQ=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/engaged-couple-showing-off-ring-getty-0624-01aaadc492b94c449fe9f5c0c8520452.jpg)
Getty Images / Moyo Studio
Those Who Have Been Married for Longer Have Other Options—And Different Feelings
Our experts have also seen a correlation between years married and how often someone wears their engagement ring. Newlyweds typically wear their rings more than couples who have been married for a longer period of time do. “Younger individuals, especially those in their early twenties, tend to wear their engagement rings more regularly. There’s so much excitement and novelty surrounding the engagement period, and the ring symbolizes the beginning of a lifelong commitment,” says Ingram. Over time, “as individuals age and the marriage matures,” they tend to wear their baubles less frequently, “especially if they have other rings or jewelry pieces to celebrate anniversaries or other milestones that hold sentimental value," she explains.
Consider Hailey Bieber's engagement ring journey, for example: She didn't wear the the massive, oval-shaped diamond Justin Bieber gave her in 2018 to the duo's vow renewal, which doubled as their pregnancy announcement, in May 2024, opting for a sleek eternity band instead. A few weeks later, she debuted a new oval-shaped engagement ring with an estimated worth of $1.5 million (talk about an upgrade), which has since ousted the original stone from her left ring finger. Lahiry can attest to this phenomenon first-hand, as she currently wears a ring her husband gifted to her for her birthday instead of her engagement ring (the birthday ring is “more meaningful” to her, she says).
For Carolyn Powery, an etiquette expert, her engagement ring is a physical symbol and nothing more—which is why she and her husband have decided that wearing their rings every day just isn't for them. “Despite these changes, our commitment to each other has never wavered. This October, we will be celebrating 30 years of marriage—a testament to our enduring love and understanding that goes beyond physical symbols,” she shares. “Our experience shows that the essence of marriage lies in the strength of the commitment between partners, not merely in the jewelry we wear.”
Think of it this way: Engagement rings symbolize the promise of love and commitment—and once that promise is solidified over time, the influence this piece of jewelry wields diminishes for some, explains psychologist Sarah Gundle. That being said, everyone interprets the importance of engagement rings differently, so this isn’t a generalization, she says. Many individuals who have been married for decades still opt to wear their rings daily—again, proving that it always comes down to personal choice.
There's a Style Factor to Think About
Jewelry trends are constantly changing, and what was once popular 10 years ago isn’t always in style today. With that in mind, it's possible that people sartorially "outgrow" their engagement rings, which is why they might start collecting dust after a few years. Think about it: Unless you’ve actively selected an heirloom piece, would you choose to wear the same engagement ring design as your mother or grandmother? “People’s tastes naturally evolve over time,” affirms Lahiry. “Perhaps the style of ring they initially gravitated toward is no longer something they really enjoy.”
Unless you have a sentimental attachment to your original engagement ring, there's an easy way to update yours to speak to your current style sense: All you have to do is reset the stone. We walk you through how to do just that in this comprehensive guide, which just might change how you feel about your piece (and how much you wear it).
![Bride Sitting at Wedding Table Holding Up Left Hand to Show Off Engagement Ring](https://www.brides.com/thmb/PnobGskw7UDVuTptPTTvQjcXfj4=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/bride-showing-off-rings-getty-0624-183c026328eb4c1f972a955d19d7dfeb.jpg)
Getty Images / Victor Dyomin
Security and Privacy Concerns May Play a Role
Some women decide against wearing an engagement ring simply because they don't feel that it's safe to do so. We all remember the robbery Kim Kardashian experienced in 2016, which served as a cautionary tale; thieves used her social media posts to track down and steal her extensive jewelry collection, which included her $4 million engagement ring. Most of us aren't rocking a multi-million dollar ring on the regular, but theft, damage, and accidental loss are top of mind for many of those who have received these pieces. Plenty of our readers feel this way: Thirty-eight percent said they were afraid to damage or lose their rings, precluding them from wearing the baubles altogether.
But the decision to skip the ring might go beyond theft or fear of damage: Some just feel protective of their privacy. According to Gundle, an engagement ring doesn't just signify that someone is engaged, but also drives others to analyze how wealthy they are. “People assess how nice the ring is, how big the stone is, and what kind of ring you have," she says. "You're saying a lot of things about yourself, and I think in this age of privacy protections, people are loath to reveal too much—and there's a lot that is revealed by an engagement ring.”
The Only Opinion That Matters Is Your Partner's
The reasoning behind why someone does or doesn't wear their proposal piece isn't clear cut—but neither route changes an engagement ring's value on the meaning scale or indicates anything about the strength of a couple's marriage. All our experts agree on one general fact, which Sassone hits home: "Whether it's choosing to wear an engagement ring, a wedding band, or no ring at all, each person should feel empowered to make decisions about what feels right for them and their relationship. There’s really no right or wrong way to express your commitment."
Before you stop wearing your engagement ring, though, both Lahiry and Gundle stress the importance of talking to your partner about the decision first; sentiments vary by person. “You may feel that wearing your engagement ring isn’t symbolic of something bigger about your relationship—but that doesn’t mean your partner agrees," says Lahiry. "Avoid assumptions and have an open discussion where both partners have the space to honor their feelings about what the engagement ring means."