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She Said God Blessed Us: A Life Marked by Childhood Sexual Abuse in the Church Paperback – August 14, 2020

4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 8 ratings

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When Gail Hovey was a teenager, her local Presbyterian church hired Georgia, a seminary-trained Christian education director. Brilliant and charismatic, Georgia used the language of faith to seduce several of her students, swearing each to secrecy. When she eventually abandoned the others and focused on Gail, Gail believed herself uniquely blessed and for the next 15 years modeled her life on Georgia's--the seminary degree, the minister husband. The relationship had a profound and lasting influence on the woman Gail became and left her a legacy of guilt and shame. Shedding light on the largely invisible issue of sexual abuse of girls by women, Hovey's brave memoir relates her decades-long journey--from East Harlem to South Africa to Brooklyn--to break free of an overwhelmingly powerful and deeply destructive first love.


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Editorial Reviews

Review

“Hovey's riveting, beautifully written memoir is an excruciatingly honest account of her complex and committed life after abuse.”―WATER: Women’s Alliance for Theology, Ethics and Ritual

“Gail Hovey’s brave and honest book shows us that clergy who abuse can also be women. This beautiful and yet haunting book is a must read for anyone concerned with stopping cycles of violence in our churches and institutions.”―Serene Jones, President, Union Theological Seminary, New York City

“Gail Hovey’s memoir is an inspiring and transformative story, brilliantly told. She takes the reader along deeply personal churns and turns, to reach powerful insights into life marked by childhood events. Gail’s imagery of the facets of violation, power, damage, as well as clarity, comfort and completion, echo familiar sentiments in the stories of military sexual trauma survivors I’ve heard, who seek a fit for events that don’t, in their heroic lives.”―Christine Burnett, Military Sexual Trauma Prevention and Response Program Manager, San Antonio, Texas

“Gail Hovey’s memoir is harrowing and haunting. Searingly honest, full of terrible truths,
She Said God Blessed Us shows us, in agonizing truth, the effects of sexual abuse in her church. Hovey’s story shines a light on a history some would prefer to remain untold--but in so doing, helps us all continue our search for justice, and for grace.”―Jennifer Finney Boylan, author of Good Boy and She’s Not There

“In
She Said God Blessed Us, Gail Hovey introduces us to a firebrand who confronts her world with a fierceness and determination to fight for change. As she participates in several of the pivotal social justice movements of our times, from the fight against American racism in the 1960s to the campaign to end South African apartheid in the decades that followed, Hovey grows to recognize how abuse of power also shaped her young life--abuse at the hands of her religious mentor. Wrenching and celebratory, Hovey’s memoir depicts a long struggle to move through guilt and pain toward a peace she can claim as her own.”―Elliot Long, Emmett Till Interpretive Center.

About the Author

Gail Hovey is an editor and writer. Her activism began with the civil rights movement and grew to include economic and social justice work with people's movements from southern Africa to Hawaii. She lives in New York's Lower Hudson Valley.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Exposit Books (August 14, 2020)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 267 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1476682771
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1476682778
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 18 years and up
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.54 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars 8 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
8 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2020
I could not put this book down. This story is so wrenchingly honest in its depiction of how a young girl can become absorbed in the aura of an older person who makes her feel special and seen for the first time. In this case it is a woman, and a religious teacher and community leader, which further complicates the author’s and her family’s perceptions.
The writing is excellent and character development very compelling. I found myself rooting for Gail and wanting her to understand how she is manipulated by her abuser’s skill and power over her. But she leads you through her process over a lifetime of learning who she is despite and as a result because of this part of her history. This is very satisfying. Her story is more than the history of her abuse, because Gail has lived an extraordinary life of social and political service through extraordinary times. She has persisted and found fulfillment and happiness in the end in her life as a mother, wife and fighter. Many people who have suffered will find strength and courage to do the same from Gail’s powerful story.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 13, 2020
Very well written - this memoir is rooted in the author's sexual abuse as a teenaged girl by a trusted woman youth pastor who groomed her to be accepting and victimized. A very intense story of a life-time of dealing with self-doubt, feeling unworthy, guilt and complications (but with a happy ending in retirement). This book may be helpful for many who have similar abuse or identity issues though beware of "triggers". Repeatedly the author says "I couldn't yet see that..." as she speaks of husband, son, jobs, South African and activist experiences and much more. Church leaders and those who work with victims also will profit from the exposure to this story which clearly shows that abuse is not only by the men, and reaching adulthood is not the end of the trauma when a teen is sexually abused.
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Reviewed in the United States on November 24, 2020
The author has exposed her vulnerabilities in an effort to assist other victims of sexual abuse. The result is a telling look into the life long impact of abuse on both perpetrator and victim. It is an insightful and worthwhile read.
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2021
Hovey's memoir discusses the often overlooked issue of sexual abuse of girls by women. But don't be put off by the subject matter. It is really the story of how easily young people can be enthralled and exploited by someone older who seems charismatic simply by showing the young person a little special attention. That manipulation leads to feelings of guilt and shame that take a long time to recognize and and even longer to understand, well into adulthood. When Hovey was a teenager, she was emotionally and physically seduced by Georgia, the education director at her church. It took her decades, including a move to South Africa, to break free of Georgia's influence. Hovey tells her story well, with compassion and insight. She Said God Blessed Us is a memoir worth reading for anyone whose family has been touched by abuse or who wants to understand dynamics and effects of abuse.
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2020
Like the author, I grew up in 1950s suburbia, attended a mainline Protestant church, was
in awe of our youth pastor, though not erotically, went on to seminary, didn’t go into the ministry. Gail Hovey nails it.

More importantly, she tells a poignant story with painful honesty and extraordinary eloquence. This is an important book, not only—or even mainly—because of its timeliness, but because of its humanity.
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Reviewed in the United States on August 23, 2020
Book very well-written ✔
Eloquent portrayal of intersection of gender, race, class & nation ✔
Incredible memory and incredible honesty with self ✔
Sensitive portrayals of other persons featured in her stories ✔
Of interest to those who have faced similar personal issues ✔
Of interest to anyone ready to connect the personal and the political ✔