Stuart Maister

I think this often requires proactive engagement by the facilitator. If I'm facilitating a session and see some people who are not getting involved, I go to them directly and get their views. In large events, this isn't possible, so using breakout groups gives everyone a chance to participate.

The basis of a great relationship is mutual trust. It enables openness, innovation and real collaboration whatever the hierarchy. In our book Choose Trust we name three key dimensions to trust, and one of these is Capability. This is not just about being competent, but concerns the collective capability of those involved in the relationship. The ambition should be for far greater value to be created together. If you are more junior, then being really clear on the outcomes and issues which your decision-maker is focused on means you're able to build trust by focusing on how your competency enhances their ability to achieve those outcomes. This is less about roles than ambitions, and this applies whether they are colleagues or clients.

It's not what you say it's what you do and how you do it that matters. And whether you do it consistently. That's true for leaders, and all colleagues. The critical ambition for great relationships is to build mutual trust, so that there can be openness, vulnerability and greater ambition together. The keys to this are clarity about what you are there to achieve, then character - which are the behaviours that you demonstrate. If these consistently demonstrate loyalty to the ambition, high levels of integrity and strong demonstration of values, then trust will be maintained and grown. The final key is joint capability. Being clear about who does what, why and how you work together will provide certainty, which also builds trust.

This thread is about facilitation and I’ll address my thoughts to that. I think flexibility within a framework is crucial. People need space to explore - that’s why it’s a facilitated workshop or discussion, not simply a purposeful meeting. A facilitator needs to have their antennae out for a discussion which is important, even if off piste. It may go somewhere even better. What’s important is to check in with the group and be clear what’s happening and what else may be lost if time is given to THIS issue. If the energy remains to dive in…dive in. The skill is then to quickly connect this back to the direction of travel so that the core agenda is tackled. This is all in-the-moment judgement.

Great rapport, like great leadership, is built on authenticity. Be yourself. This is more likely to permit others in the room to be more fully themselves. That creates the foundation for rapport which is not just warm, cuddly friendliness but also real dynamic interplay that leads to far better discussion.

Be a journalist. Ask questions that are intended to get to the heart of the matter, and force the people with whom you're working to answer the toughest issues. They will respect you and see you as someone who brings real focus to the discussion. Go where your questions lead you and this will be stimulating and explorative - two of the strongest dimensions of great communication.