The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives: The True Story of the MomTok Sex Scandal That Captivated TikTok

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives takes viewers inside the viral 2022 "soft swinging" scandal.

The Hulu reality series, which premiered on Sept. 6, follows eight popular Mormon #MomTok influencers who rose to popularity in 2020 — Taylor Frankie Paul, Jennifer Affleck, Demi Engemann, Mayci Neeley, Jessi Ngatikaura, Mikayla Matthews, Whitney Leavitt and Layla Taylor — and the aftermath of their “soft swinging scandal” of 2022, which garnered the attention of millions.

The drama started when Taylor, the most famous of the group, announced her divorce on TikTok, and disclosed that she and her husband, Tate Paul, had been engaged in “soft swinging.” In their case, soft swinging was an agreement that allowed them to have romantic intimacy with people outside of their marriage, with restrictions.

In the process, Taylor alleged that while she crossed a line — as she and Tate had agreed not to “go all the way" — she and her husband weren’t alone in soft swinging. She shocked the internet with her claim because she added that swinging was a fixture of her Utah-based, Mormon friend group’s lifestyle.

So, what is the true story that led to The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives becoming a reality show? Here’s everything to know about the MormonTok “soft swinging scandal” of 2022.

What is "soft swinging?"

While there's no official dictionary definition of "soft swinging" (yet), Taylor described it as an agreement with her husband that included romantic intimacy with other partners without going "all the way."

When Taylor announced her divorce and dropped the soft swinging bombshell, she also claimed that the agreement included other couples in their friend group.

"Everyone has hooked up with like everyone," Taylor said in her viral TikTok Live. In the trailer for The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, Demi added, "It was like swapping in front of each other, standing right next to each other."

What is MomTok?

MomTok refers to a group of Mormon mothers and influencers based in Utah. The crew initially consisted of only four moms — Taylor, Whitney, Mayci and Mikayla — who started filming content together in January 2022 and tagging their videos #MomTok.

The videos include dance trends, beauty routines, comedic “takes” and insight into their lives as Mormon mothers. Over time the group expanded to include Jennifer, Demi, Jessi and Layla.

Collectively, the mothers have millions of followers on TikTok. Talking about her relationship with the other women on the show, Whitney explained in the trailer, “Online, it looks like we’re all the best of friends, but we’re not.”

In The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives trailer, Mikayla and Demi also explained that they want their videos on TikTok and the reality show to get to "the raw things that we are going through" and show different aspects of Mormon life.

Who is Tayor Frankie Paul?

Taylor Frankie Paul is a Mormon “MomTok” influencer who rose to prominence in 2020, quickly mastering the art of going viral with dance videos, as well as sharing her Mormon life in Draper, Utah. When she became famous, Taylor was married to her now ex-husband, Tate. The pair share two children, Indy and Ocean.

Following the scandal, Taylor started dating Dakota. In December 2022, Taylor announced their breakup, expressing that she was “finally deciding to be single and heal.” However, the pair reconnected later that year and welcomed their son Ever.

Beyond explaining the details behind the soft swinging scandal, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives also dives into Taylor's legal issues.

In February 2023, she was arrested on misdemeanor charges of assault, criminal mischief and commission of domestic violence in the presence of a child, per the Herriman Police Department. The TikToker pleaded guilty in August 2023 to aggravated assault and the other charges were dismissed.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives trailer ends with body cam footage of the night of Taylor's arrest and promises to cover the legal drama that unfolded afterward.

What happened during the “soft swinging” scandal that rocked MomTok in 2022?

The Mormon MomTok “soft swinging” scandal emerged in June 2022 when Taylor posted her divorce announcement on TikTok. Not only did she explain that she and her then-husband were ending their marriage, but that the reason for doing so was because she crossed a line in their soft swinging agreement.

According to Taylor, their agreement permitted them to be intimate with other people, but with restrictions. In her confessional announcement, Taylor told her millions of followers that while she and her husband agreed that they wouldn't "go all the way,” she "did step out of that agreement."

The TikToker then disclosed that she fell in love with one of the husbands she was swinging with. In July 2022, Taylor introduced her new boyfriend, Dakota, as the guy she "cheated with." She announced her pregnancy with her and Dakota's child, Ever, in September 2023 and their son arrived in March 2024.

Were any other Secret Lives cast members involved in the scandal?

Beyond Taylor’s relationship, she explained that soft swinging wasn't uncommon within their friend group, subjecting her fellow Mom influencers and their families to public curiosity and scrutiny. However, Taylor says the “majority” of MomTok was not involved.

While she started a relationship with one of her "soft swinging" partners, many cast members of Secret Lives worked to separate themselves from the scandal.

The group includes Jen Affleck who is married to Ben Affleck’s cousin, Zac, Whitney Leavitt, who at the time of the show’s release was the mother of two children and was pregnant with her third and Jessi Ngatikaura, who calls herself the “grandma of the group.” Divorced and remarried, Jessi has a blended family with three kids.

Layla Taylor is the youngest woman in the group and is a single mother of two, following a divorce. Another cast member, Mayci Neeley, is a former tennis player at Brigham Young University, as well as the founder of a natal nutrition company. She also has two children.

The group is rounded out by Mikayla Matthews and Demi Engemann, who are both mothers to three kids.

How can I watch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

The first season of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives debuted on Sept. 6, 2024. The show streams exclusively on Hulu.