Michelle Obama Opens Up About Raising Daughters in the White House: ‘They Had to Come Correct’

Michelle Obama says that even while they were growing up in the White House, daughters Malia and Sasha were learning how to be "stand-up young people on their own."

Speaking on an episode of Melinda French Gates' podcast, Moments That Make Us, the former first lady said that her goal when raising her kids was always "trying to turn those two little people into valued and valuable humans in the world."

"I never felt my job was to create mini-mes, or create people who were going to live out some brokenness in me or fill some hole or to be my friend," Obama said. "As my girls joke, I always said — my favorite line was, 'I'm not one of your little friends.' "

She continued: "There were some lines drawn. I had to raise them to be stand-up young people on their own, especially as the daughters of a former president. But people are quick to cut a kid off if you don't show up right and you've got a name behind you. You have to come correct."

While Michelle acknowledged that Malia and Sasha spent many of their formative years enjoying the bells and whistles of the White House, she added that they were also under a microscope — and the knowledge of that informed her parenting.

"They are watched. They had to learn how to balance the unwanted attention, but do it politely. To build their own lives in the spotlight and not be eaten up by it," she told Gates. "Well those girls had to be smart and confident and independent straight away — even when they were living in a house with butlers and maids and florists. But I was raising them thinking, 'You're not going to live here, and with me, forever. So I've got to hand you your life soon and let you manage it.' "

Malia and Sasha were 8 and 10 at the time, respectively, when they moved into the White House. They lived there throughout their father's two terms, from 2009 to 2017. While in D.C., they attended the private Sidwell Friends School through high school graduation.

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Malia, now 26, now works in the film and television industry and recently brought a short film that she wrote and directed to the Sundance Film Festival. Sasha, 23, graduated from the University of Southern California with an undergraduate degree in sociology in May 2023.