Sharing is caring.
Florida mom Kiara Blanco is a staunch believer in that kindergarten adage — especially when it comes to children sharing toys at the playground.
But Blanco’s take has elicited harsh backlash online, with other parents a little less generous when it comes to others enjoying their offspring’s objects.
“Don’t bring toys to the park unless your kids and you are ready and willing to share,” Blanco, 22, implored in a now-viral TikTok clip that has amassed more than 574,000 views.
“I don’t think it’s fair that you’re gonna bring toys to a place where there’s gonna be a bunch of kids and you are not willing to share the toys with the other kids.”
Not sharing, Blanco continued, is “wrong” and “cruel,” which is why she is an advocate for leaving the toys at home instead.
“I might be the only person with this opinion, but I’ve seen it too many times when I go to the park,” she said. “We don’t take toys to the park because of that reason.”
Fellow parents, however, didn’t see eye to eye with the community-minded mama, suggesting that she bring her own toys from home and not expect strangers to share.
“Why are people so entitled to other peoples belongings?” asked one unimpressed viewer.
“Don’t bring your purse unless you’re willing to share what’s in there!” joked another.
“Life isn’t fair,” a third chimed in. “Teach them young.”
“Last summer I let other kids play with the water toys I brought and they ended up broken, the other parents didn’t care,” another mom wrote. “I no longer share with kids I don’t know.”
In response to concerns over “germs” spreading between kids, Blanco blasted back at the critics in a subsequent clip.
She argued that parents are already bringing their kids to “a playground that is public that has probably never been cleaned and probably will never be cleaned,” and shouldn’t be worried about illnesses, adding that her two-year-old son is too young to understand boundaries when it comes to sharing.
“My two-year-old knows what ‘no’ means, but at the same time, if he’s in a public place and he sees a bunch of little kids playing with toys — even if he brings his own — he’s gonna want to get it,” she explained.
While she will tell her child “no,” she continued, “sane” parents will likely allow her child to play with their toys.
Blanco told Today. that she tells her son that he should share his toys if he wants to bring them to the park.
If he asks to play with other kids’ toys and is denied, she’ll attempt to distract him with another activity on the playground, she added.
“I don’t want to make other kids feel bad (for not sharing),” she explained to Today.
“With appropriate boundaries,” she added, “sharing is a good, fundamental value.”
Francyne Zeltser, a psychologist and the clinical director of mental health and testing at Manhattan Psychology Group, said that telling someone “no” and being told “no” are two life lessons that children should learn early on.
“It’s challenging because it’s not just about saying ‘no’ — which many children have no problem saying — it’s about the other child receiving and accepting ‘no,’” she told Today.
Young children communicate feelings with words or body language, she continued, sometimes either by informing the other child that they can “have a turn later,” or by tightly grasping the toys they’re playing with at the moment and shaking their head “no.”
But the debate isn’t so black and white, Zeltzer warned. While there’s “no expectation of sharing” when the child is actively playing with a toy, if they ditch their belongings to engage with other facets of the park or playground, “they should expect for other children to play.”
“Decide what you are bringing and how your child would feel if the item gets dirty, lost, broken or shared,” Zeltser advised.
“We want children to become more autonomous as they grow and feel proud of themselves for solving their own problems.”