A TWISTED TALE
First-ever Pig-to-human Heart Transplant Deemed Successful
All staff memo from the Chief Administrator at the University of Maryland Medical Center
Dear Colleagues,
In an effort to put an end to the rumors and gossip surrounding the events of last Wednesday, please review the following statement.
On Wednesday, January 5th, our esteemed Chief Surgeon, Dr. Bradley Cleaver, successfully performed the first-ever “pig-to-human” heart transplant on a 57-year-old man, named Arthur Hamilton. Three days after the nine-hour surgery, the patient still hadn’t rejected the organ, so the American Medical Association (AMA) has now recognized our team as pioneers in porcine-to-person procedures.
The courageous and anonymous heart-donating pig was due to be delivered to a local artist to be preserved in formaldehyde and then displayed in our reception area as a symbol of medical ingenuity and scientific innovation. Unfortunately, due to a clerical error, the donor was delivered to our catering team who embraced the spirit of celebration by providing free bacon sandwiches to all staff and visitors in the cafeteria.
This regrettable mistake would have gone unnoticed, but just as a long line formed outside the…
