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Sarah shakes things up by trying something with her left hand. Plus, she explores Santa Claus’ roots, offers marijuana dosing advice, and helps a young woman through a second wave of grief.

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Transcript

SPEAKERS

Julia, Chris, Joe, Maria, Sarah Silverman, Kayla, Jared, Rose, Margaret

Sarah Silverman  00:15

Hey everyone, it’s your old pal, Sarah Silverman. And I don’t know if this is enough to start I really have nothing, but I did write down a joke last night. I just remembered, and I’ve got to see what it is. Oh, I like to give my boyfriend hand jobs with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it. Oh, that the reaction of stone cold silence is really in my cue zone. I can see Charles is laughing. I don’t know if it’s out of sympathy. Yeah, there you go. Let’s take some calls.

 

Chris  01:10

Hey, Sarah, it’s your friend, Chris from Canada. So I play Santa Claus at Christmas time. I am a Santa performer, and I’ve been doing it for about 20 years, doing it for parties and a little bit for television as well. And I was wondering what your thoughts were on somebody being a secular Santa. Because here’s the thing, I’m an atheist, and so when kids come to me and start talking about the true meaning of Christmas and you know, they do as a family. I have to kind of bite my tongue a little bit, but I always try to keep it neutral, and I’ll say, oh, that’s wonderful. Lots of families do celebrate that at Christmas time well so I was just wondering what your thoughts were on this. I mean, I know you’re Jewish, so maybe your thoughts are I don’t care, but I just thought, what would you do in my situation, if you were, let’s say, a Santa Claus or a Mrs. Santa Claus, and you were an atheist, how would you handle the whole Jesus thing? Anyway, thanks for your wonderful show, love you and Merry Christmas.

 

Sarah Silverman  02:18

Oh, I Christmas is great. Christmas we live in a Christian country. Christmas, you know, I love the decorations. I love the music. Recently, I was home and I was like, I’m in the mood for Christmas music. And I listened to some, of course, pretty much basically entirely written by Jews. Not that it matters. But, yeah, I love the smell of Christmas. All my candles are Christmas candles because I love the smell of them. But I mean, like you being a Santa and being an atheist, I see no rub with that whatsoever. I mean, Santa, as we know it, was created by Coca Cola, has literally nothing to do with Jesus, so you’re killing it. You know, he’s like a joyful character who brings toys to kids. I believed in Santa when I was a kid. I wanted him to be and I would write him letters. I’m Jewish, but I believe in you. You know, like every kid wants Santa to exist. I mean, the only, I guess, you could see Santa, you know, in a religious way. If you’re connecting Santa in a religious way, you could, I suppose one might see him as like a soft core hell. You know, in that let me explain. He’s used as a threat to make children behave, much like hell is used as a threat to make all of God’s children’s be behave children’s and, you know, really honesty and the truth can probably yield better results without emotional manipulation. But I’m down with Santa Claus. I’m down with the fun myth, just like Halloween or anything else. And we do, we live in a Christian country, and you know, I don’t want to be a part of the war against Christmas, but I think you’re fine. Okay, what else?

 

Kayla  04:15

Hey, Sarah and Kayla from North Dakota, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about my best friend Sam. You guys remind me of each other a lot. You’re my favorite comedian, and she was my favorite person, and sadly, three years ago, she died unexpectedly of a fentanyl overdose. I know you’ve spoken a lot about your experiences with grief and losing loved ones. At first, I obviously told everyone I knew what happened to Sam, but after a while, it kind of starts to feel like people get uncomfortable or don’t know what to say, and I miss her so much every day, and the grief of losing her is the worst experience of my life. But now that it’s three years later, I’m actually afraid. Afraid of a kind of second wave of grief that is happening because I don’t talk about her as much, because I don’t want to make people uncomfortable or make it seem like I’m looking for pity or bring people down, and it really sucks, because I feel like she’s really gone when her memory isn’t being talked about and shared. Do you relate to this and also, do you ever grieve the fact that no one will ever replace the void in your life from your lost loved ones? Thanks for listening, Sarah. I know you’re the type of person who will understand love you.

 

Sarah Silverman  05:34

Yeah, I understand, and I’m so sorry, and fucking it’s just, it’s very frustrating when something seemingly totally preventable, you know, and there are a bunch of comedians that all died from cocaine laced with fentanyl, And everyone but one, you know, it’s like, oh, Jesus, but yeah, I can totally relate, you know, especially when you and you’re probably hitting this part around now, when you realize all the memories that flood you when they first die, You know, and in the ensuing year or so, hilarious memories, and you’re with people who are also missing them. And it’s, there’s a surge of just, you know, the stories and the memories and the you know. And it’s it feels, even though it’s terrible, celebratory, because you’re celebrating their life beyond the memorial or a funeral or those, those first days, weeks, months, year, but those stories are finite. You’re not making any more of these memories with this person. You have no more memories of this person. That’s it’s a finite amount that ended that day, and that’s hard. And then as the time passes, and you are getting past grief, and you are moving on, and you have to move on, and you have to find joy, and you have to You’re not replacing her. If you find that person who fits that spot, you’re just moving on with joy and going towards it wherever you can find it, and you’re not going to forget her. But I get it, you know, I for a long time, and I’ve really lapsed with this. I did a thing where, if I saw 11:11, 11:11, is a time when my sisters and I, if we see it on a clock, we all think of each other, or we go on our sisters WhatsApp and write 11:11 you know, and we all check in. But it also is a time that if I saw 11:11 on a clock, I would go through everyone I lost, and think of them and remember their something they said, of something in their voice, and remember like a moment with them. And the list just got so long with so many people. So now when I do it, I’ll do a couple and and I won’t rack my brain to make sure I remember every single one, because it’s a lot of people die as you that’s part of not dying is that you see other people in your life die. And as a comic, it just happens younger, you know, like Harris, my friend who died, he o deed. Oh, my God. And then just thinking like he’d be like, I think he’d be 40, or almost 40 by now. Oh, my God so that’s one thing you can do. You see, a time or, you know, 11:11 you could, you could use 11:11 or whatever. And then you go, Oh, I’m gonna think about Sam and remember this moment, and I hear her voice, and I can see her face, and you know the great news and great news, but you probably have video of her, and you can or voicemails from her, and you know you can conjure her up and And remember her and and smile and laugh and try to remember the joy, you know part I know I would remember little things, like with Harris, I remember like this hug and saying goodbye to him, just like randomly, like he was getting an Uber and saying goodbye in this like hug we had just, I don’t know that’s for some reason and I and I hear His voice, and, like, with my step dad, John, I always think about his, like, big, tall, he was, like, a tall, thin man, and he would give me, like those, like step dad side hugs, you know, like uh, not too intimate, you know, give me a little side hug. And he always said, I don’t care what they say, I like you or Gary Shandling. I always think of him. He would say, You’re the queen of the whole thing. He’d call me. And these little snippets of moments that so that you just know that you’re not forgetting, that they’re not fading away. That’s a little thing that you can do, that I do, and I know it’s hard, but you have to live your best life. You owe it to Sam and yourself and everyone who loves you like me. All right, what else?

 

Rose  10:45

Hello. My name is Rose, I’m from New York. I’m Jewish, but I live in the Midwest, and I just need some help figuring out what to do with all of these Christians who, like, don’t understand because, like, my dad’s Methodist and my mom’s Jewish, which makes me Jewish. And so I, whenever I try to explain to these people that I celebrate both holidays, they always are like, Oh, Merry Christmas. Oh sorry, Happy Hanukkah. And it’s like, it’s fine, I celebrate both. And so I just need help with this, please. Yeah, also, I love your work. You’re an amazing comedian.

 

Sarah Silverman  11:36

Yeah, you sound so fragile, I just want to hug you, and I feel nervous to even mention that, it reminds me to make an announcement, please take a sip of water before you call in, because I can hear your mouth moving. And then we’re both fragile, but I love you. And yeah, people know Chris Micah, we know it ever since the OS, the very popular show the OC. No big deal a lot of everyone sell. A lot of people celebrate both Christmas and Hanukkah. Maybe there are people where you live, they don’t, it’s not familiar. And just say, uh, Chris, part Christmas, part Hanukkah. We celebrate them both. Boom, problem solved.

 

Jared  12:24

Hey, Sarah this is Jared, NYC Subway writer. Today. I’m just on foot.

 

Sarah Silverman  12:36

Jared, from Subway?

 

Jared  12:38

Anyway, when I think about your podcasts and the stick out moments that I keep coming back to. It’s always the same three. It’s you when you were little, visiting your sister at college, and the story that happened with her neighbor, I think, across the hall that nobody seemed to react to an episode since I think of the offensive versus offensive lesson that you taught in people’s textbooks, and I’m willing you And your sister, what is it waiting in that cafe, and you both, at the same time say the same word, Papu New Guinea, which is insane. Can you jog my memory on what that was anyway? My question is, what stand out moments you maybe have from the past, whether it’s voicemail caller or random thoughts or anything that comes to mind in terms of what you think of when you look back on the episodes you’ve done. Thanks so much.

 

Sarah Silverman  14:00

Oh yeah, that one you were my sister, Joe Dean and I were standing in a long line at Coffee Bean and tea leaf to get coffee. And we were just like, both standing, it was morning, and you’re just like, staring and quiet, and then out of nowhere, we both. We both just went Papu New Guinea. It was crazy, but I did tell that story. But people called in after and said, Sarah, there’s they probably had things of coffee that said Papua New Guinea on it, because a lot of coffee is from Papua New Guinea kind of took the wind out of my sails. Of like, isn’t that amazing? It’s crazy. I don’t really, I don’t know what I talk about on the podcast. I’m, I mean, I guess the only thing that really pops out at me thinking back was that, when I told that energy experiment that I did, which was so cool, you know, I don’t know how to tell the short version. Just like I was pulling up to my weed store, I got a little too close to, like, an SUV, and the driver started screaming at me, and he was, like, clearly, very angry, like, already, you know, just kind of like, and I can’t even do anything well, because you’re a woman, and really, like, just ragey. And then I felt that scared feeling where you like, uh, and, but I said, no, this is an opportunity. And I said, how it can I take that energy and change it to positive. Anyway, I won’t tell the whole story again. You can find it somewhere, but basically it ended with us being like, loving each other. And I said, like, can you believe it? Like you first you hated me and we were and then now we love each other. It was very, very, very sweet. And it really worked. I changed his angry energy into happy energy. Ah, I guess that’s why, like, ideally, what comics do. But it was, it was interesting. I was just in interesting. I saw my old assistant, Annie Siegel, and I said something was interesting. And she was like, since when do you say interesting? Because I guess I’ve made a conscious effort to say interesting instead of interesting. She used to always make fun of me because I would say interesting, and then I would say Pinterest instead of Pinterest. But I think I say both. I think when I’m like being hoity, toity, I say interesting. And then when I’m like my other self, I say interesting. When I’m like my dad’s daughter, I say interesting. All right. Good story, Sarah, what else?

 

Maria  17:04

Hi, Sarah. This is Maria from Chicago. I love your podcast. I have two questions for you. So the very first one is, Are you into astrology at all? So the interesting because you shared the same birthday as my mother. And you guys are both very expressive with your faces, and it’s really kind of cute when I used to watch your show to see your facial expressions. And kind of compare for some reason, like my mom, you and my mom have shared personalities, kind of in the sense that how you react to things, or how like your face looks when you’re reacting to like cute things or awesome questions or the audience. So I wanted to know, have you ever looked into astrology, and do you believe in it? Because you are a Sagittarius woman, and I think you’re definitely very much a Sagittarius anyway. Love your podcast. Take care.

 

Sarah Silverman  18:02

Am I into astrology? I’m I’m not. I’m not against it. And whenever I learn anything about it, I think it’s really interesting. And I have friends that are really into it so, like, one year for my birthday, my friend Kulap, got my from Add to Cart. She got me, like, my chart read, and it was interesting. You know? I mean, I’m I just don’t, I never think about it. But, you know, I hear about attributes of stuff, and it is interesting. I mean, I when people go like, you’re such a Sagittarius, you know, I do love that. You know, I have a birthday, December 1st, that’s a lot of comedians birthdays. I mean, it’s me and Bette Midler and Woody Allen and Richard Pryor and Jonathan Katz and Larry Charles and, you know, it’s just, it’s a cool comedian’s birthday. I think, among others, yeah, that’s all I got for that. Thanks for calling in, what else?

 

Joe  19:03

Hey, Sarah, it’s your old pal, Joe. Here’s my coffee shop. Names the real ones a little bit too revealing for my tastes. So I’ve been thinking about being in touch with you for such a long time, and as I scrabble around now trying to figure out how to be locally active and resistance to the dystopian nightmare we’ve all just been thrust into Word, I’m thinking back to an episode of your podcast I listened to as I was packing up my apartment In London to move back here to LA, in which you mentioned a credit union that you use that is local to LA, and my wife and I are big fans of local participation, activism and resistance, so it seems like an appropriate moment to ask. Ask what the name of this institution is, because I would love to take my money out of the corporate banking hellscape and put it into an organization that might at least be doing a bit less harm, if not some actual goods. So would you please tell us about your favorite la credit union, thank you so much for everything. We love you, bye.

 

Sarah Silverman  20:26

I would love to I met a credit union called first entertainment, which initially was for people in the entertainment industry, you know, from actors to make up, artists to, you know, whatever, all the different myriad jobs within entertainment. And this mill town that is Los Angeles. It’s mill is show business. It’s called first entertainment, but it’s open to everybody, and it’s here in LA, and I just don’t know why everyone wouldn’t be at a credit union. There’s nothing a credit union can’t do that a bank can, other than spend your money fast and loose on investments in big oil and stuff. And it’s, you know, the reason why we’ve heard of banks and we haven’t heard of credit unions is that banks are for profit. They make tons and tons of money, and so they advertise. And credit unions don’t they just hold, you know, they just have your money for you, but they you can do everything that you can. You know, you go, you have an ATM card, you use it anywhere. It’s, it’s exactly, does all the same services of a bank, but is not for profit. There’s no I made a video years ago called something like, why I’m with the credit union, or why I switch to a credit union. And that probably will give you all sorts of facts and stuff. You know, you think like, oh, it’s not going to be as good, or it won’t be as convenient, or it won’t be, no, it’s exactly the same. It’s the same. Even my business manager, when I went to finance my house, you know, like pay for my house, or whatever, get a get a loan he said, well, we need to go to a real bank. I go, why does does the credit union not do it? He goes, I don’t know. I’ll check. And then he called back. He goes, no, they do it at an incredible rate. There’s nothing they can’t do same, but just not evil, that’s all.

 

Margaret  22:34

Hey, Sarah Silverman, it’s your old friend, Margaret from Maine. I actually called she’s a few years ago, and you gave me some very sage advice about something, and not usually one to hog things, but I would love some advice on something else. So the situation is that my mom has developed dementia, and my dad is really struggling with providing care for her. He is just really overwhelmed, and just the constant questions and constantly to reorient her is just really getting to him. He’s a drinker, so in the evenings, he drinks, and he just has has that much less patience. And I’ll go over there every night to help, and he’s just crying by the time I get there. So he has used marijuana in the past, and I’m thinking, I’m trying, I’m thinking about trying to get him to pivot to marijuana. And I consider you kind of a gang ecologist. So if you have any recommendations on particular types of marijuana that might be better for him to try. I don’t use myself, but I think it could be really helpful for him. Thank you.

 

Sarah Silverman  24:03

Yes, yeah, I think that’s a great idea, because drinking and listen, they’re both depressants, I believe, but drinking is really a depressant, and I can’t imagine what he’s going through, but I really think weed would help him. I wonder if it would help your mom. But, you know, I’m not a doctor, and that’s really hard. And one thing I have always heard about people with dementia is that it’s best to yes and them to like, that’s the improv rule, yes and but to just wherever they’re at, whatever they think they’re seeing, whoever they think you are, whatever, that it’s okay to just go with their version of reality, and you don’t have to correct her and go, like, no, Mom, that’s blah, you know, you can go, yes, you know, like, just stay in her. And, I mean, I don’t know, Google this or something, but I believe that. What people say that you should do, and it probably is a nicer way for you to kind of go. I don’t have to correct her. I don’t have to be frustrated with the same question over and over. I can just stay with her reality and and let her eyes and her mind be the guide of what reality you’re in, you know, I actually think that’s a way that’s helpful for both parties, you know, the caretaker and the caretaker. But I could be wrong, but I think that’s correct in terms of weed. I think it’s a great idea. I have a really good friend. He tried weed, he’s tried smoking pot, and it was not for him, but he loves beer, and he loves drinking, and now it’s many years later, and he really has to not drink because it’s he’s getting big, and it’s not good for his health, and it’s like the calories of beer, and the calories of drinking is not good for his health, because he’s, he’s getting, you know, heavier from it. So he tried a THC beer so it has no alcohol in it. It just has some milligrams of THC. And you can, you know, you just start with, like, five milligrams and see how that is. And there’s also edible at edibles. There’s edibles like, my dad loved these, like chocolate covered blueberries that were THC, and, you know, Janice loved these edibles too, that she would go to sleep with. So there’s edibles, and you could start with five milligrams, and just, it might just be that thing where it’s like a nice, mellow, giggly thing, and then he can build from there, if that’s not enough, but it probably will be enough at first. But, yeah, there are drinks. So, because a lot of times, and with my friend John, it’s, it’s the action of drinking, you know, just like smokers were there. I just love the social aspect and the this and whatever. You know, it’s the for some drinkers, it’s the drinking, you know, that feeling of having a beer in your hand so he can still have that, but it’s THC. And, you know, may not taste amazing. Some probably taste better than others, but yet, used to it just like alcohol. I don’t, I don’t like drinking because I don’t like the taste, but so try that, and I bet that would really help, you know, because he may be drinking partly because he wants to, you know, is to help him get through this situation. It’s like a leak liquid courage with taking care of your loved one, you know. And so this may be helpful in that way, without taking him down a depressive, you know, it’s a little lighter, and he can make it heavier and heavier and heavier if he wants to take more. But start with three milligrams, five milligrams. As a matter of fact, our sponsor, what’s it called, like, office, out of office, gummies. They have them that are just CBD, but they do have THC ones, and they’re fantastic. They have them, like, one and a half milligrams, three milligrams. You know, I take like, a six or a couple sixes, and it’s great. So good luck. Let me know if it works out. I’d love to know that that helped. That would be a great switch. I know it’s very hard for people who drink a lot to stop drinking, but this might be just the ticket to kind of replace it in a little bit of a healthier way, certainly healthier for his liver, healthier for all the things that come with drinking that don’t age well and aren’t helpful. All right. Good luck. Let me know how it goes. All right, what else?

 

Julia  29:03

Hi, Sarah, it’s your friend, Julia. I was just listening to you talk about how some of your features are changing as you get older. And your face changes, your body changes, looks a little unrecognizable. I get that. I am about to turn 41 and things are moving, but a friend of mine reframed it in a really beautiful way recently, and I’ll share it with you. When you look at the most gorgeous sunset you’ve ever seen, it takes your breath away. It’s expansive and colorful and fills the sky, and it makes you feel like you’re looking at the face of God, and it’s just glorious. You take a picture of it with your phone or with a camera, and you look at the picture, it does not nearly capture how beautiful it is. Never it’s a little under well. Ming, so when you look at a picture of yourself, it’s like one little tiny fraction of how beautiful you are. It’s not representative of how you look moving through the world. So don’t trust those pictures if you look different to yourself. Just remember the sunset looks gorgeous to the human eye, and then a picture of it. Can’t capture it at all. Okay, thanks, love you.

 

Sarah Silverman  30:31

That’s brilliant. I think that’s so that’s such a great way to think about that. And it’s just true. I mean, certainly we can all we all know like, oh yeah, god, that’s so true, you know? But, um, that’s really great. I like that. I have been pretty good at I look in the mirror and I see like these. I don’t mind wrinkles. I like my wrinkles, but I don’t like like the ones that, what do they call marionette? It bums me out, or, like, my jawline getting softer, but I am pretty good at, like, looking at myself and taking cognitive distortion into account and knowing, like, I know people look at me and they think I look just fine, you know, so I’m I’d rather just kind of believe their account. No, that’s not really good either, though. I guess, yeah, I just account for cognitive distortion. I know that we look at ourselves and we see every we pick apart every little thing, and I try to remember that when I look at other people and like everyone else, looks perfectly fine and good and beautiful. You know that I go, if that was me, I would probably see that, and I would notice that, or I would pick apart this. And I know that I don’t with you know what I mean? So I go, you said it way more concise, and then I basically reiterated it in a in a terrible jumble of unconfident word combinations. Oh my god, take me off the air, I’m done.

 

Sarah Silverman  32:11

Dad, we are winding down. This is the part of the podcast when I say, send me your questions, your comments, your thoughts, your opinions, your big ideas, go to speakpipe.com/theSarahSilvermanpodcast that speakpipe.com/theSarah Silvermanpodcast, and subscribe, rate and review wherever you listen to podcasts that helps us. It helps us stay on the air and stuff.

 

CREDITS  32:37

And there is more of the Sarah Silverman podcast with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus questions like one from a caller who’s having some trouble getting along with her aunt or aunt this holiday season, subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast, we are a production of Lemonada media. Kathryn Barnes and Isabella Kulkarni produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber. The show is recorded at the Invisible Studios in West Hollywood. Charles Carroll is our recording engineer. Additional Lemonada support from Steve Nelson, Stephanie Wittels Wachs and Jessica Cordova Kramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds. You can find me at @SarahKateSilverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad free on Amazon music with your Prime membership.