Look: The ballpark concession game has become a constant battle of one-upsmanship, with restauranteurs at practically every Major League stadium jockeying to create the most caloric and most ridiculous food item possible to generate hype and call attention to its menus. And it’s easy to be cynical about it and point out that there was never anything wrong with good, old-fashioned hot dogs and peanuts, and that every new deep-fried phenomenon represents gimmickry aimed solely for the purposes of landing in internet posts like this one.

Or — or! — you can understand that baseball is for fun, and ostentatious foodstuffs are likewise fun, and that no one’s forcing you to eat any of this stuff if and when you choose to attend a ballgame. I, for one, choose to enjoy this: We live in a strange and wonderful era, and one delightful byproduct is the increasingly audacious effort to jam delicious foods inside of other delicious foods. How is that bad? We might as well surf this crest until it breaks. Let us gild these lilies, then dip them in sriracha aioli.

Here are the 12 most incredible new MLB ballpark foods for 2016:

1. Atlanta Braves: The Burgerizza (photo above)

One of many mind-boggling items on menus at Turner Field in its final season as the Braves’ home park, the Burgerizza includes a 20-ounce patty, five slices of cheddar and bacon on a bun made of two eight-inch pepperoni pizzas. Is it good? Probably. Pizza is great and bacon cheeseburgers are incredible. It doesn’t really seem like it lends itself to portability unless you’re willing to get your hands and face and shirt all covered with pepperoni grease, but hey, let’s not overthink this: It’s a burger made on pizza.

2. Multiple locations: Korean Fried Pork Belly Sandwich

Korean Fried Pork Belly Sandwich (PHOTO: Aramark)

One of several items developed by chef Andrew Zimmern to be served at Citizens Bank Park, Coors Field, Fenway Park, Kauffman Stadium, Minute Maid Park and PNC Park, the Korean Fried Pork Belly Sandwich is a battered and fried pork belly sandwich topped with grilled pineapple, gochujang sauce and chili lime salt. It makes this list not just because it’s battered and fried pork, but because it includes grilled pineapple — an underutilized sandwich ingredient that is perfect for adding tangy sweetness to a savory meal. Gochujang sauce is a spicy, fermented condiment made from pepper, rice and soybeans, and it’s quite good.

3. Miami Marlins: Miami Mex Taco Dog

Miami Mex Taco Dog (PHOTO: Levy Restaurants)

The first hot-dog variant on this list, the Marlins’ new Miami Mex Taco Dog is a footlong frank with chili con carne, Monterey Jack cheese, cilantro shaved cabbage, jalapeno-lime aioli and fresh salsa. Literally all of those things are delicious. It’s also wrapped in a tortilla, which seems way better suited than a traditional hot-dog bun for containing all those toppings.

4. Detroit Tigers: Brat Pop

Brat Pop (PHOTO: Delaware North)

One important and too often overlooked quality of good ballpark food is portability: You want something you can eat while walking around, perhaps while fumbling with your phone to look up the minor league stats of the kid pitcher who’s mowing through your team’s lineup. The Tigers figured this out, and so they jammed their battered, fried bratwurst patty onto a stick. More foods should be served on sticks in general.

5. Houston Astros: Sweet Potato Waffle Chicken Sandwich

Sweet Potato Waffle Chicken Sandwich (PHOTO: Aramark)

Compared to most foods on this list, the Astros’ new chicken sandwich seems downright elegant and maybe even kind of healthy: It’s a grilled chicken breast with greek yogurt, baby spinach and sliced tomatoes on a homemade sweet-potato waffle. I think that might even count as paleo-friendly, but don’t quote me on that. What matters here is that it’s probably good, and the Astros deserve kudos for stretching our understanding of what constitutes a sandwich bun. Pretty much anything served on sweet potato waffles seems like it’s worth trying.

6. Cincinnati Reds: Meat Lover’s Dog

(PHOTO: Delaware North)

Did you know that Cincinnati was once nicknamed “Porkopolis?” Why they didn’t adopt that as the city’s official name is beyond me. But the Reds are at least doing it justice with a bacon-wrapped hot dog topped with fried salami, pulled pork, queso blanco and pickles. “Meat Lover’s hot dog” is the best kind of redundancy.

7. Texas Rangers: Chicken and Donut Skewer

Chicken and Donut Skewer (PHOTO: Delaware North)

More food on sticks! The Rangers will serve up the Chicken and Donut Skewer, for when you want fried chicken and also donuts and you don’t want to have to touch either of them with your hands. It’s drizzled with what the description calls “sweet and sour buffalo honey sauce,” which is probably good, and sounds like it would go equally well with fried chicken and with donuts.

8. New York Mets: Spicy Korean Fried Chicken sandwich

Spicy Fried Chicken Sandwich (PHOTO: USA TODAY Sports)

The above sandwich, from Citi Field’s new Fuku location, might seem out of place here because it isn’t stuffed into a lobster shell and deep fried. But I ate this sandwich at the Mets’ annual tasting event last week, and I promise it will hold up to anything you ever eat at any ballpark anywhere. The crust is crispy and spicy and somehow smoky, the chicken inside is moist and delicious, and there are pickles on there so you can say you ate your vegetables. It’s so good.

9. St. Louis Cardinals: The Hill Meatball Cone

The Hill Meatball Cone (PHOTO: Delaware North)

Now we’re talking: Why serve meatballs inside something that isn’t edible when you can craft a cone out of Italian bread? The Cardinals know what’s up. We need to plow past the bread bowl and start turning more foods into dishes. This particular incarnation — the cone — seems perfectly suited for carrying around. You’re still going to need a fork to eat those meatballs without getting sauce on your face, but smart money says the sauce-soaked cone makes a really delicious way to follow the meatballs.

10. Toronto Blue Jays: Buffalo Cauliflower Poutine

Buffalo Cauliflower Poutine (PHOTO: Aramark)

Everyone knows the best way to prepare and eat vegetables is to batter and fry them and top them with cheese curds and gravy, and the Blue Jays are on it. This one checks basically all your boxes, assuming your boxes are “fried,” “buffalo,” and “cheese curds.” Also, unless there’s meat in that gravy, this baby’s vegetarian! Congratulations, vegetarians: You’re now welcome to join the rest of us in early death.

11. Kansas City Royals: Champions Alley Hot Dog

Champions Alley Hot Dog (right) (PHOTO: Aramark)

Whoever invented the corn dog shifted the whole hot-dog paradigm by adding a deep-fried element. The Royals will build on that with their bacon wrapped, tempura battered, foot long frank topped with cole slaw and chipotle ketchup on a pretzel bun. The on-field Royals play lots of small ball, but this thing has all the subtlety of a 490-foot homer.

And for dessert…

12. St. Louis Cardinals: Dinger’s Donuts

Dinger’s Donuts (PHOTO: Delaware North)

The Cardinals are fresh-frying their stadium donuts, apparently, and that’s good. Donut freshness is paramount to donut deliciousness. Also, they come with your choice of toppings, and from the looks of it, a souvenir helmet. That way you can protect your head while you’re stumbling about in a delirious haze after eating all those donuts.