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Adidas's hideous tournament uniforms will make you root against these 8 teams

When Adidas presented its special March Madness uniforms last month, the kits looked bad enough on their own. Bold, contrasting colors mixed with oversized logos equaled a look straight out of 1992. But maybe they were the sort of clothes that didn’t look good on the rack, but were spectacular when you got home and stood in front of the mirror. Nope.

Is that a red cummerbund? Was the inspiration for these uniforms your parents wedding photos? Just look at the red in the middle. It either looks like someone dipped three-quarters of the shorts in bleach or the players are getting ready to wear Speedos on the beach in Majorca.

When these came out last month, Adidas smartly featured a pictures of just the basketball jerseys, all of which were lovely, with the exception of Louisville’s sleeves.

Courtesy of Adidas

Courtesy of Adidas

Purely classic. It doesn’t get much better than UCLA’s gold and blue or Kansas’s Trajan font and the simple, immediately recognizable colors for the three Big 10 teams. Well done Adidas.

And then they unleashed these monstrosities on the world:

Courtesy of Adidas

Courtesy of Adidas

The colors are meant to be worn with the other colors. That’s intentional! For instance, check out the Kansas “home” and “away” uniforms for March:

I think even Phog Allen is going to root against the Jayhawks. I’m surprised Adidas resisted the urge to use Hypercolor or a slap bracelet accessory. You know what doesn’t need a huge “M” on it? Michigan’s shorts. Why, you ask? BECAUSE IT SAYS MICHIGAN ON THEIR JERSEYS.

The middle of Michigan’s road jersey (at right) looks like the highlighted section of a book.  Can you even call that a stripe? It’s more like a colored girdle. It’s like: “How can we turn UCLA’s perfect jersey into an eyesore? I know, let’s add a five-inch black piece of fabric in between the UCLA blue on the jerseys and shorts.”

At least we won’t have to see UCLA’s tradition stomped on or the Wolverines look like Wile E. Coyote after the Road Runner runs a paint prank on him. Thankfully, only four of the eight Adidas teams (Kansas, Louisville, N.C. State and Wisconsin) are considered locks for the tournament. The other, Texas A&M, is firmly on the bubble. As long as the committee doesn’t have to see those uniforms, maybe the Aggies will have a shot.

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