This year's Hanukkah movies, ranked

Ah, Christmas Hanukkah. So many different ways to celebrate spell the holiday. Sleigh bells Dreidels ringing spinning. A candle menorah glowing in the window. Elf Mensch on a shelf bench. A plate of cookies kugel and a glass of milk Lactaid left out for Santa Zayde.

While the Festival of Lights isn't considered to be one of the holiest of Jewish holidays, it does rank as a fan favorite, especially among children in need of a joyous, gift-receiving occasion around Christmastime. Come for the latkes, stay for the chocolate gelt, and stick around for the unspooling of the ultimate underdog story, with the outnumbered-but-victorious-in-war Macabees stretching one night's supply of oil into eight!

To recap: Eight whole nights to build a story arc around? A backdrop of too much sugar and fried food? Family gatherings with parents/grandparents who just want their kids/grandkids to settle down with a nice Jewish girl/boy? This holiday practically writes its self into a movie! Of course, there aren't usually many of those, though Hallmark has started to hold more of a candle (or nine) for them in recent years. But given the recent mega-explosion of holiday movies (hold on to your yarmulkes, but there are some 170 new ones in 2022) and a move toward diversity, perhaps it's not surprising that there is a whopping 50 percent increase in Hanukkah films from last year! To help you sift through the blizzard of options and prioritize during this busy holiday season, EW has ranked every new Hanukkah movie this year. Let's spin those dreidels and see the results:

1. Menorah in the Middle (Hulu, streaming now)

2. Hanukkah on Rye (Hallmark Channel, Dec. 18)

That's all we got! Chag Sameach!

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What's that? You'd like a little more guidance on which movie is right for you? Fair enough. We begin with a brief description for each:

* Menorah in the Middle centers on a Jewish food blogger Sarah (Lucy DeVito) who returns home with gentile fiancé Chad (Cristian de la Fuente) around Hanukkah, only to learn that her parents' bakery is in danger of closing, a situation that just might require assistance from close childhood friend/almost boyfriend Ben (Jonah Platt).

* In Hanukkah on Rye, all sorts of mishigas breaks loose when Molly (Yael Grobglas) who's trying to keep her family's Lower East Side deli in business is set up by a matchmaker with Jacob (Jeremy Jordan) who's looking to open up an East Coast extension of his parents' California deli right on her block.

Now we'll go a level deeper and borrow a tradition from Passover by asking some important questions:

Is the word Hanukkah properly pronounced (with a guttural sound)?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is there a non-Jewish person who knows so little about Hanukkah, they think that Hanukkah and Chanukah are different holidays and they don't know how many nights it's celebrated?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Do people play dreidel?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Does the game of dreidel get a little too spirited?
Menorah in the Middle: YES (Accidental hand to face; see clip below.)
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Does a wise rabbi offer counsel?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Does a character exclaim "Oy!"?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: YES (several)

Does a Jewish mother worry that her children aren't eating enough?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is the mother's brisket "famous"?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Is there a latke-making montage?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO (But there are multiple deli-food montages.)

Is there a latke-making competition?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Does a bubbe meddle in a grandchild's love life?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is there a reference to a schmear?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Is there discussion of bagel toppings and the order in which they're placed onto the bagel?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES (See clip below.)

Is there discussion of the brining process for corned beef?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is there discussion about Jews eating Chinese food and going to the movies on Christmas?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is the family business in dire need of increasing sales during Hanukkah week?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is there an eligible young doctor in the house?
Menorah in the Middle: NO (But one of the characters is hospitalized and gets medical instruction from a doctor.)
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Is there debate about the best way to eliminate wax buildup in a menorah?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Is there reminiscing about Jewish summer camp?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Do parents or grandparents not understand social media and call it by the wrong name?
Menorah in the Middle: YES (Facejam)
Hanukkah on Rye: YES (Instabook)

Does a character talk about moving to Boca Raton or elsewhere in South Florida?
Menorah in the Middle: YES
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Does the movie feature Sarah Silverman in the cast?
Menorah in the Middle: YES (And Laura Silverman, too! They play successful sibling TV chefs.)
Hanukkah on Rye: NO

Does the movie feature Lisa Loeb singing a Hanukkah song?
Menorah in the Middle: NO (But Dan Bern performs several songs as the movie's busking narrator.)
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Does a bubbe refer to dying as "drinking that giant egg cream in the sky"?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

Does the movie end with a couple kissing under a giant menorah?
Menorah in the Middle: NO
Hanukkah on Rye: YES

VERDICT: Looking for quirkier humor, deeper-cut cultural references, and a romantic triangle? Light up Menorah in the Middle. Craving more screen time for latkes, earnest romance, and bubbe banter? Order Hanukkah on Rye. But in the spirit of Hanukkah, would it kill you to watch both?

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