SNL's Heidi Gardner still can't believe how hard she broke in Beavis and Butt-Head sketch: 'It just killed me'

Back in April, Heidi Gardner broke for the first time during a Saturday Night Live sketch — and broke her way into America's heart.

And yet all these months later, the Not Ready for Prime Time Player still can't believe it happened, though she's come to appreciate it now.

"I find it a big source of pride that I never break — even though it's so lovable and likable...I don't want to use it as a crutch," Gardner told Amanda Hirsch on a recent episode of her Not Skinny but Not Fat podcast.

In the sketch, Gardner played NewsNation host Bobbi Moore, who is moderating a town hall on the AI revolution. She welcomes an expert professor (Kenan Thompson), who is immediately distracted by a member of the audience: SNL host Ryan Gosling, who looks strikingly similar to the cartoon character Beavis, of Beavis and Butt-Head. Gardner is able to keep it together but when she sees costar Mikey Day dressed like Butt-Head, exposed gums and all, she can't help but collapse into giggles.

"In that one I was the straight man, and you really want to get out all the information for all the fun stuff that's going to happen." Gardener continued, though at the time she wondered why she broke "so hard."

"Some of it is, you know, Mikey and I sit next to each other at table. He's like a brother to me, he makes me laugh constantly," Gardner explained, noting that she never laughed at him on TV before that moment. She then brought up the Debbie Downer sketches from the early aughts, where everyone famously broke as Rachel Dratch hilariously brought down the mood.

In those sketches, Gardner said, everyone was around a table, and they could see each other about to break: "They can all feel it happening."

That night back in April, Gardner said she thought the studio audience "could see it coming to a swell because they were seeing Ryan and Mikey. And I just don't think that anyone has ever had to blindly look back at something that shocking, you know?"

She continued, "I had to do something where I was surprised by — and I had seen him before in rehearsals, but they like amped up the makeup — so I was just coming in blind, and I look back to see my very good friend looking like that and Ryan Gosling, and it just killed me."

The break, however, became something of a breakout moment for Gardner, even if she thought she was going to get fired if she ever broke.

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"The audience was so sweet to me," Gardner recalled. "I remember in the moment, because I was trying to compose myself, but when I turned back and I couldn't stop, the audience applauded, which was sweet. And I thought, 'This is okay, but get it together.' But then right after, I feel I was just unaware of the amount of time I broke for.... I got worried. And then a lot of writers were coming up to me, like, 'That was awesome!'"

"People have been very sweet," she added, "and Lorne [Michaels] was very sweet about it, too."

Listen to Gardner's full interview on Not Skinny but Not Fat above.