Drake Bell reveals song he recorded in 2005 is about his sexual abuse

Drake Bell is revealing that a song from his debut album hinted at the sexual abuse he survived as a teen, nearly two decades before he publicly acknowledged the traumatic experience in the recent docuseries, Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV.

In a new TikTok, the Drake & Josh actor shared that he wrote “In the End, a song from his 2005 debut album, Telegraph, in response to the pain of the sexual abuse he faced from Nickelodeon dialogue coach Brian Peck. “Wrote this song when I was 15 about what happened before I said anything to anyone,” Bell shared in the video.

“In the End” features lyrics like “In the end, are you stronger?/Do you no longer need to recover?/And where have you been since it's been over?/Over my shoulder, under my skin, will you ever return again?”

Other lyrics like “The monsters in your head have left you/All to yourself, it's alright/If ugly little things remind you of how it felt/Another day, no one tells you what it means” also take on new meaning with the retroactive context of Peck’s repeated abuse of Bell in the years preceding the song. Peck, whom Bell met as a cast member of The Amanda Show, was arrested in 2003 and convicted of child molestation in 2004.

Bell released four additional albums since his musical debut in 2005. His sixth album, Non-Stop Flight, is set to release sometime this year. The first single, “I Kind of Relate,” features a music video that directly references some of the most troubling incidents from the singer’s tumultuous personal life. 

“I don’t wanna sound like I did this for promotion or anything, but I am working on a new album, I just released a new music video that actually talks about this,” Bell said in an interview with The Sarah Fraser Show. “The very opening scene deals with what I went through in the documentary, my car accident, going into rehab.”

The video begins with a child actor (who represents Bell) being led into a trailer by a much-older man, who suspiciously closes the blinds. The camera then pans to present-day Bell in a car crash surrounded by paparazzi — presumably a nod to his 2015 DUI arrest. The video later shows Bell attending a meeting resembling an Alcoholics Anonymous session before the singer finds a new home in Mexico, where his music is more popular than in the U.S.

The song also features lyrics like “I’m running away/From the abuse and all the shame” and “I found love in Mexico/‘Cause no one wants to hear me/In the States” that clearly reflect Bell’s career. He also sings “She left me unaware/‘Cause I didn’t care/For anything dear to her,” which may be a reference to the singer’s wife filing for divorce in 2023.

Watch the video for “I Kind of Relate” above.

If you or someone you know has been a victim of sexual abuse, text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.

Sign up for Entertainment Weekly's free daily newsletter to get breaking TV news, exclusive first looks, recaps, reviews, interviews with your favorite stars, and more.

Related content:

• Drake Bell says 'I haven’t gotten an apology' from anyone who wrote letters of support for abuser
• Everything Nickelodeon stars are saying about Quiet on Set: The Dark Side of Kids TV
• Pedophiles on set, sexism in the writers' room: Everything said about Nickelodeon on Quiet on Set