User:Huckamike

This article is about Davey, or Huckamike, among other things, the Savior of Wikipedia.

Some guy with a Beard

File:Marcel Duchamp Mona Lisa LHOOQ.jpg

Hee Hee Hee, She's a ginger.

My one emotion.

Intro

Hi I'm Davey, I love American politics, Scottish history, and Christain stuff. And, yeah. Did I mention I'm the awesomest person ever!! I was born on the greatest day in history, 0 AD, which was the day I assumed the office of "Awesomest Person Ever", and the day after I chaired the APC, and the day after that I became Ambassador to LSNG.

My Mortality

I am immortal, even though I was born, will never die. If you shoot me, the bullets will bounce off. If I get diabetes, I will eat more sugar and mock it's sad attempt to kill me. If I get hit with a Nuclear Bomb, I will just temperarily turn invisible, and my shadow will remain. If I have a heart attack, I will counter attack.

My Political Positions

I am a hard-core conservative. Abortion is wrong, the Iraq war is right, Guns are good, spending is bad, Michael Moore is fat, and Rosie O'Donnell is retarded. I am very passionate about my positions, and the greatest threat to society is Liberalism, and Libertarianism. Liberals spend and tax like there`s no tomorrow, which destroys the economy. Libertarians will not spend a dime on anything, which is just silly. And they both would pull troops out of hot spots, where there are terrorists. And both don't care about moral issues like abortion and gay marriage. GO THE FAIR TAX!!

Mike Huckabee for President!!!

A request, no, a DEMAND

Tell others about my account and my page, so that their lives may suck that much less, and so they will be insprired by my awesomness.

My work as Awesomest Person EVER

I was Awesome.

My Heritage

As for my heritage, I am a Canadian, but I don't like Canada, and am a Patriotic American at my heart, spirit, and soul. My family comes from: 42% Scotland, 25% Italy, 13% Ireland, 12% Denmark, 6% Romania and 2% Russia. All rad countries, just because they had part in my excistence.

Alba
This user is of Scottish ancestry.

Guns

An assault weapon, something almost as awesome as me.

Guns are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO awesome. Handguns are used over 2,000,0000 times to defend from criminals, and lord knows how many times to kill enemies such as terrorists.They are only used 450,000 times to do crimes, probably usually to kill sucky people. And guns look, sound, smell, feel and taste RAD. Gun Control is RETARDED!

YEH!!! A GUN!.

My work as Chairman of APC

An awesome person powning a sucky person.

I have blown every one's mind with my awesomeness, and inspired them to be just as awesome, which they obviosly failed at. I made sure the APC recruit more awesome people from LSNG, and people that were in neither. The APC still however was face with significant competition it became the world superpower, through the invasion of LSNG, which I'll go on about later.

LSNG army after defeat.

APC Invasion of LSNG

In 1999, I decided that a millenium of LSNG oppression was too much, and I vowed, that I would defeat the LSNG by 12:00, January 1st, 2000. I led the campaign, and desite some close calls, I defeated the LSNG Empire. The final siege took place in the LSNG capital, which took place 11:59, December 31st, 1999. The APC force was led by me, Mike Huckabee, Jet Li, Jim Creeggan, Chuck Norris, Jimmy Wales, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Guido Hatzis, and Ronald Reagan's Ghost, and many other awesome people. The LSNG consist of of Michael Moore, Brittney Spears, Cast of High School Musical, some fat guy from McDonalds, Joe the Plumber, John Seigenthaler, Kim Jong-il, The Nixon Spirit and sucky people. The Battle lasted 59 seconds, and the APC kicked the LSNG's butts so hard, they fell into Hell. Thus, their Empire was broken. And I kept my vow perfectly to defeat them by 12:00, January 1st, 2000.

My work as President of the Universe

The expansion of my Empire.

I governed with selfishness, and made wise decisions for my future. But I was generous. Income taxes are 99%. Corporate taxes, are 0.5%. So I don't penalize people much for buisness, so it has resulted in the awesome economy. Deficit in my Mansion is 0. Mansion Surplus is Infinite$. Unemployment in my Mansion is 0%. Interest rates are ZERO. The rest of the economy is a little iffy, but who cares about that. My foriegn policy was simple, because their was no need for one. I had the whole universe, so nothing was foriegn. My domestic policy was, if you didn't listen to me I bombarded you with awesomness. If you listened to me, I didn't. If you listened alot I gave you a 0.000001% tax break. I built up the military of my Mansion, even though I didn't need it, the APC insisted. I had 200 Aircraft, 65 Destroyers, and 600,000 troops. My Mansion was not invaded, gasp, and my Mansion Security has remained strong. The world nation security, again, a little iffy.

My work as APC Ambassador to LSNG

After defeating the LSNG, I decided to be an Ambassador to them, cause, as fun as military action is, diplomacy is always dabest. I first had Jim Creeggan, but he grew a beard and became a little sucky, so I did it myself. My diplomacy was simple. I either made sucky people awesome, or killed them, such as Richard Nixon, who was really killed by me. Some ran away, such as Michael Moore, who ran to Socailist Cuba, because I almost killed him, not cause he wanted their crappy Health Care. In the rare event of a meeting I showed no respect for Sucky People, because they suck. I burped in their faces. I tripped them. I threw potatoes at them. The harder they cried, the harder I laughed. Hence, sucky people ceased to suck, and were motivated to be showed the slightest amount of approval by me.

File:US Army Humvee attacked.jpg

My last example of diplomacy with sucky people.

My work as the Savior of Wikipedia

My one true alliegance.

I, because I am so experianced and genius, have turned Wikipedia from a great load of crap to the best website next to http://www.mikehuckabee.com. I have, and plan to edit anything and everything to keep it under control, but I focus on Scottish history, American Politics, Christian stuff and myself. Most of my 740 edits on Wikipedia have been on this page. I have two Deputies, User:Mendeley, who is the Co-Savior, and User:Scotland Rules, the Secretary of Awesomness. I believe that sourcing info is good idea, unless you're me, because it's obvious that what I write is correct. I don't vandalize, cause that is blasphemy, that is madness.

THIS IS WIKIPEDIA!!!!!!

What happened to the last person who reversed my edits on Wikipedia.

A WARNING

Caution, as for my edits, don't change them, because I am almighty, and what I put down is right, or becomes right. I CAN CRUCH FACTS WITH MY BARE OPINION! I will try to source stuff, but not that hard. I am not going to vandalize. Repeat: I am not going to vandalize. I AM NOT GOING TO VANALIZE. If you change them, I will order the APC to send Chuck Norris, Jet Li, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, to kick your butts. SO CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!!

Recent Years

Recently I have put forward an appointment for Deputy Savior of Wikipedia. If he accepts, User:Mendeley will be the Deputy Savior. I have decided to forgive his acts of treason, and appoint him. He has not said yes yet, but I, being so awesome, am sure he will not miss such an awesome opportuniy. I found out that my mom supports sociallized medicine, and claims to be a Conservative. BLASPHEMY!! By the way for the Olympics, GO SWITZERLAND!!!

My Personal Life

I have no emotions, except ephoria. I am a life-long hater of Michael Moore. I have not been married, but hey, being so imeasuably attractive, and having all the time in the world, will be. The only reason I haven't got married yet, is because I have to marry someone that doesn't suck, and among todays women, there aren't that many. I don't have any kids, because I am unmarried, and abstinance is dabest. I have 2 brothers and 1 sister, none of which are as awesome as me, let alone anybody.

THEY ARE ALL SO ANNOYING!!! I also have a great sense of humor, implied by the hilarious picture of an retarded monkey laughing.

Conclusion

I'M AWESOME!

THE APC IS AWESOME!

THE LSNG IS NOT AWESOME!

WIKIPEDIA WAS NOT AWESOME!

BUT IT IS NOW!!!!!

I have nothing else to say, but I want to have some words to go with the cool pictures, so I'll have lotsa spaces.

Davey Simpson
The only person whose awesomeness competes with mine.
Awesomest Person EVER
In office Conception–Eternity
Preceded by	Ronald Reagan
Succeeded by	Nobody
Chairman of Awesome People Coucil (APC)
In office When I flew to APC capital – Eternity
Preceded by	Jet Li
Succeeded by	Nobody
APC Ambassador to Lame Sucky Non-Peope Group (LSNG)
In office When Jim Creegan grew a beard, and was not awesome enough – Eternity, because their will always be sucky people
Preceded by	Jim Creeggan
Succeeded by	Nobody
Savior of Wikipedia
In office February 10, 2010 (When I made my account) – Eternity (Because no one can edit Wikipedia as good as me)
Deputy	User:Mendeley User:Scotland Rules
Preceded by	Jimmy Wales
Succeeded by	Nobody
President of the Universe
In office When I I lead APC to defeat LSNG and conquer world; 12:59:59, December 31, 1999 – When I get mad and destory the Universe
Preceded by	Dick Cheney
Succeeded by	Nobody
Personal details
Born	0 AD (After Davey), in Heaven
Died	NEVER
Spouse(s)	None yet, but look out, I'm single, smokin' hot, and ready to luv.
Residence	Capital of APC

The Michael Moore equivelent of a mouse.

I swear to drunk, I'm not God.

Some guy that lit his whisky on fire while drunk driving.

A Professional farter.

Satan.

A HUGE fire.

Aren't these pictures cool.

Yes.

GO ME

I'll just keep talking, cause I'm awesome.

BLA BLA BLA BLA BLAA!!!!!!!

BURPP

Ronald Reagan was the best President EVER!

If you haven't watched Braveheart, WATCH IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO ME INFINITY

If I ever run for President of anything, VOTE SIMPSON!

(PS, Michael Jackson sucks.)

Things on fire are automatically awesome.

I'm on fire for wikipedia!!!!!!!

Extra Stuff that randomly comes to mind

Invasion of LSNG
Part of the Awesome People Council domination campaign
PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!!!!
Date December 31, 1999. Location Some sucky place. Result APC OWNAGE VICTORY!
Belligerents
APC The Awesome Army	LSNG The Sucky Army
Commanders and leaders
Davey Simpson	Michael Moore
Strength
Gazillions of awesome people lotsa Tomahawk Missles, Destroyers, and F-16s, and Tanks.	Gazillions of sucky people, a Missle (some caps strapped to a firework), a Destroyer (a canoe driven by a guy with lotsa gas), a Gunship (a crappy helicopter with a slingshot), a tank (a buggy with a Dart Gun), and other crappy assets.
Casualties and losses
None (Duh)	Lotsa Casualties

-User:Mendeley has not accepted his appointment, and I am very shocked.

-I am very bored right now, but I want to but something down. UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, It's OVER 9,000!!

-Sweden has gotten ahead of Switzerland in the Olympics. EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-As if I haven't said it enough, I'M AWESOME!

-JEB BUSH FOR PRESIDENT!

-I just listened to Obama talk about abortion. He said that the reason he is Pro-Choice/Anti-Life, is because women don't make the decision casually. Well, terrorists don't take the decision to blow up buildings casually, so I'm Pro-Suicide Bombing.

-I have appointed User:Scotland Rules for Deputy Savior of Wikipedia, since User:Mendeley hasn't accepted.

-He has accepted, duh.

-I'm a Goofie Goober Yeah, your a Goofie Goober, Yeah, We're all Goofie Goobers, Yeah!, GOOFIE GOOFIE GOOFIE GOOBERS YEAH!!!, Spongebob Squarepants is timeless!

-Users on Wikipedia often talk about their Milestones in Wikipedia. Well heres mine. In addition to my direct contributions, I MADE THE FRIGGING ACOUNT! That will inspire so many to have an acount and edit succesfully.

-User:Mendeley told me he'd accept, so I am going to make him Secretary of Awesomeness, an equal power to Deputy Savior. As for if I die, he and Scotland Rules will fight to the death to determine who becomes the next savior.

-By the way, BARACK OBAMA SMOKES TOBACCO TODAY!!!

-Today I was exeptionaly awesome.

-Today Barack Obama signed into law Socialized Medicine. I am shocked and dissapointed, and will pray for America to continue. We are under threat. I fear we will continue as a nation. This will cost $110,000,000,000.00+ a year, that Obama will have to, borrow the money, print it, raise taxes, or all of the above.

-I have come up with a plan for th United States to reform Health Care. Obama should use it. In some States, it costs 1,800$ a year for Health Coverage. In some States it costs that much a Month. But they can't buy the inexpensive Insurance, because it's in another State. So, just allow people to buy across State-Lines. Then compettion will force the Insurance companies to decrease their costs, and for Hospitals to increase their quality. You can have everybody able to by Private Insurance for 1,800 Dollars a year. And it costs the Federal Government 0$ over ten years, rather than 1,000,000,000,000 over 10 years.

Some Hobo.

-I was just on CNN watching Michael Moore talk about the Health Care Bill. Turns out, it is just a wee-bit more regulation in Private Health Care, not Universal Health Care. HALLELUJAH!! I have never been so happy to hear words uttered from the flabby face of Michael Moore. I also heard that an abortion coverage was taken out of the bill, to allow it to pass the House, Praise the Lord! V FOR VICTORY!! America will survive to fight again tommorrow.

My Public Image

Some people admire my awesomness, whereas some are jealous of my awesomness. In particular, hobos are particular jealous, because they suck more than ussual people. I don't know a lot about my public image, but you know a small bit about.

My Farts

A sucky person I farted at.

My most recent fart.

I AM THE KING OF FLATULENCE

-I have four types of Weapons of mass Flatulence, or WMF listed on the chart.

-Bio Farts are quiet, and take a long time to take affect, but are incredibly deadly.

-Chem Farts are immediatly effective, and extremly poisonous.

-Nuke Farts are only a little foul, but are very loud, and cover large distances.

-Radi Farts are wet and dirty, and cover a very small amount of area, but are instantly fatal.

Don't be afraid, the vast majority of my victims have been sucky people. If you are awesome, I will squeeze the cheeks. If I can't, I will gently tell you to run for your frigging life. If you suck, I will just close my nose and let it rip. As I've said before, if you suck,

YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!!

YOU CAN RUN,

BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!!

Somethings you should know about me

A Demon.

Another Demon

-I always walk in bare feet, 'cause shoes suck eggs, and it makes my feet tough. It also allows my feet to breath and relax. Who wants sweaty feet?????????????

-I'M AWESOME!!!

-I have 19 knives, including a machete, a Hunting Knife, a mini-Katana, 4 throwing knives, 2 swiss army knife, a Hatchet, 2 multi tools, and 7 pocket knives and switch blades.

-I like to sleep of the floor, even though I have a bed.

-I can run 100 meters in under 1 flat.

-I can do 1,000,000,000 push-ups.

-I can do 2,500,000,000 sit-ups.

File:Vp 008.jpg

My Ninja Bodyguards.

-Cats and Dogs are creepy, hairy, stinky, evil, lound, annoying, infinitly horrible creatures.

ALL PETS MUST DIE BY TORTURE, BEATING, POISON, STABBING AND DECAPITATION!!!!!!!

-Did I mention that I'M AWESOME!!!

-I am a strait Male.

-Dick Cheney is my chief bodyguard. He has great aim.

-I am a Brown Belt in Karate.

-You are not as awesome as me.

My Military Service

Sweaty Soldiers in some war.

I have not served in the military, because, as the President of the Universe, I can send soldies on my behalf, so why the heck would I want to get dirty, bloody and sweaty, when I can get others dirty, bloody and sweaty. Just so nobody quotes me wrong, SOLDIERS ARE AWESOME, and I respect them more than anyone but myself.

My Religion

The Christian Flag

I am religous. I am a Christian. I am an Evangelical Christian. I attend a Foursquare Church. I believe without a doubt that there is a God that loves us and made the Universe, loved us enought to send his son to die for us, and continues to love us today.

The Quest of the Krispy Kreme Doughnut

Krispy Kreme logo

Once apon a time, there was a Krispy Kreme Doughnut Castle. But a Random Fire Breathing Homeless Guy infiltrated the building, and drove off the guards with his foul smell. He kidnapped an innocent Krispy Kreme doughnut, and fled. The CEO was heartbroken, and wept bitterly. His manager summoned Prince Whats his Face, of WTF to the castle. The CEO debriefed him on the emergency. The manager gave Prince WTF a slingshot to fight the skilled hobo. The Prince rode his cow out the Castle, and started his perilous journey. He was joined with his faithful side-kick, Yomama. The bum sent a group of ugly stray cats to attack the group. Prince WTF prepared a marble in his slingshot, then shot himself in the head with it, for he did not know how wield its awesome power. His fightened cow went into shock and fell on top of Prince WTF. Yomama took her cheap hairsray and sprayed it through a match at the cats. Yomama then stuffed her cheeks with the burnt carcasses. The cow was still unconsious ontop of the Prince. Yomama lit the cow's butt on fire, and it trampled Prince WTF, 'till he was awake. Yomama spanked the flames out. As they continued, Yomama got so hungry, that she ate the cow while Prince WTF was biting his toenails and wasn't looking. When the Prince asked, Yomama said the cow comitted suicide. Although the Prince believed her, "GO-GREEN" terrorists saw Yomama's embarrassing action, and drove a Smart-Car suicide bomber into Yomama. The explosion bounced off her, but she got REALLY MADD!! She raided a "GO-GREEN" camp, and filled the fridges with meat, Sheep Brain, and Cow Tongue. The "GO-GREEN" militants attacked her, but they were all wussy vegans, and got PWND!!! She then ran back to the Prince. He asked what she was doing, she said she took a long tinkle. As they approached Hastings, the hobo sent his Steriod Bodyguards to infiltrate them, but they were high, and got lost. Yomama and Prince WTF finally came to Hastings and went up to the Bum's corner. He was high on LSD and thought Yomama was good-looking, and fell madly in love with her. He excited her by giving her free rides in his shopping cart. The Prince went into the Hobo's bag and grabbed the doughnut. The Hobo thought he was a block of cheese stealing his doughnut. He bit the Prince in the stomach, and clued in that he wasn't a Dairy Product. The Fire Breathing Homeless Guy and Prince What's His Face engaged in a battle. The Prince shot himself in the head again and fell down. The Hobo prepared to soak him in flames. But, Yomama stood in the way and was burned to ash. The Hobo poared gasoline over himself, and exploded, for he couldn't live without his true love. The Prince then took his true love, the doughnut, to his complex, and they lived happlily ever after.

                                                         THE END

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