Showing posts with label Reese Witherspoon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Reese Witherspoon. Show all posts

Wednesday, 3 November 2021

A Wrinkle in Time (2 Stars)



The renowned scientist Dr. Alexander Murray (Chris Pine) is laughed out at a conference because he claims that it's possible to travel billions of miles just by thinking about it. The next day he disappears. Just a coincidence? Most people think that he ran away because he was crazy. Some think that he had another woman. Whatever the reason was, his family is suffering.

Four years later his daughter, 13-year-old Meg, is being bullied at school. The other girls put notes on her locker saying "You should have disappeared as well". She's a brilliant student, but her grades suffer because of the bullying.

One day three mysterious women arrive at Meg's house and offer to help Meg find her father. Together with her six-year-old brother and a classmate they travel to another galaxy, using the power of their minds.


I remember seeing this film advertised when it was shown in cinemas three years ago. I didn't see it, because there were too many other good films at the time. In England I had a Cineworld Unlimited Card, but there isn't anything like it in Germany, so I limit myself to two films a week. (Apart from festivals, of course).

The film has an interesting premise, but it's spoilt by being silly. The women are called Mrs. Which, Mrs. Who and Mrs. Whatsit. Really! I don't mind films being childish, but there's a big difference between childish and silly. So many things aren't explained. The film is based on a novel, so maybe it's just a problem of too much being left out. Whatever the reason, it's a poor film, despite the capable performances of the actors involved.

Success Rate:  - 0.7

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk
Order from Amazon.de

Saturday, 19 June 2021

Pleasantville (5 Stars)



Henceforth, all good and decent citizens of Pleasantville are to obey this CODE OF CONDUCT:

1. All public disruption and acts of vandalism are to cease immediately.

2. All citizens of Pleasantville are to treat each other in a courteous and pleasant manner.

3. The area commonly known as Lovers Lane as well as the public library shall be closed until further notice.

4. The only permissible recorded music shall be the following: Johnny Mathis, Perry Como, Jack Jones, the marches of John Philip Sousa and the Star-Spangled Banner. In no event shall any music be tolerated that is not of a temperate or pleasant nature.

5. There shall be no public sale of umbrellas or preparation for inclement weather of any kind.

6. No bed frame or mattress may be sold measuring more than 38 inches wide.

7. The only permissible paint colours shall be black, white and grey, despite the recent availability of certain alternatives.

8. All elementary and high school curriculum shall teach the non-changeist view of history emphasising continuity over alteration.

Success Rate:  - 1.2

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk
Order from Amazon.de

Saturday, 1 May 2021

Legally Blonde 2 (4 Stars)


I loved the first Legally Blonde film because of its message. Beneath all the comedy it showed female empowerment. It's not just about women succeeding in a man's world. It showed that a woman could succeed without giving up her femininity. Elle Woods fought men on her own terms and won. She carried on wearing pink clothes instead of wearing drab colours and becoming an ersatz man.

That message is still in the second film, but there are other themes. It's a political satire, it's about animal rights, it's about gay rights. These themes take the forefront and practically bury the message of female empowerment, only letting it appear in comical situations.

The film takes place a few years after the first film. Elle is now working at a Boston law film, and she's planning her wedding to Emmett, who guided her at Harvard Law School in the first film. She wants to invite the mother of her Chihuahua Bruiser to the wedding, so she hires a private detective to find her. The investigation finds that she's locked up in a laboratory that tests animals to make cosmetics. The shock makes her go to Washington to start a campaign to outlaw the use of animals in product testing.

Elle becomes the assistant of a congresswoman who belonged to her former sorority, Delta Nu. As she progresses she discovers that politics is all about politics for its own sake, not about doing what's right. What I mean is that following the traditional procedures is more important than the end result. Nevertheless, Elle tries to do things her own way. She remains pink to the end.


Octavia Spencer plays a small role as a security guard. Francis? Strange name. She'd look pretty in pink as well.


Elle Woods arrives in Washington, looking pinker than ever,


This is her new office. It looks like it's straight out of a Barbie box.


But look at her feet. I don't know why Quentin Tarantino hasn't cast her yet.


Elle's friend Paulette now has a daughter who wears a UPS uniform. If you've seen the first film you'll understand the joke.


Here's a spoiler: the film ends with a happy wedding. We don't see much of Emmett in the film, but he's there when it counts.

"Legally Blonde 2" is an enjoyable film, though not up to the quality of the first film. I've read that a third film, "Legally Blonde 3", will be released next year. That's enough to make any film fan groan. After 19 years? Delayed sequels suck. I expect the worst, but I'll hope for the best.

The film is universally available on DVD, but it's only available on Blu-ray in America. Beware! The Blu-ray is locked to region A.

Success Rate:  + 0.8

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk
Order from Amazon.de

Tuesday, 16 February 2021

Little Nicky (5 Stars)



Here's something strange. Today, 16th February 2021, my last review of "Little Nicky", which I wrote on 16th January 2019, is one of my most commonly read posts. It's been in my top 10 for more than a month, and it's currently in fifth place. When I first wrote the post it only had a moderate amount of readers, not enough for it to enter my top 10. Then it was (mostly) forgotten for two years, until December 2020. Here are the readership stats for the post.


That's weird. The beginning is typical for my posts. 113 hits in January 2019, 9 hits in February 2019, then 0 hits in March 2019. Most of my film posts follow a similar curve. 50 to 100 for the first month is typical for new posts, not enough to enter the top 10. After that, interest drops. If you look at my current list, only one film review this month, "Ip Man 4", has received enough hits to enter my list. The rest are older reviews that have remained popular for one reason or another. My "Little Nicky" post was largely ignored until March 2020. Then there was slight interest for eight months. Then bang! The readership figures shot up in December 2020, and they've remained high for the last three months. Someone pointed out to me that "Little Nicky" was added to Netflix for the first time at the end of last year, but that doesn't explain it. I have lots of reviews of films which are shown on Netflix.

The simple truth is that I don't understand my readers. There must be something that's attracted them to my post, but I have no idea what it is.


After all that rambling about my old review, let's start my new review, I'm curious if it will be as popular.

The film's premise is ridiculous, to say the least, but it's easy to accept in the context of a comedy. It's been ordained that each ruler of Hell has a 10,000 year term in office. Americans are lucky that their president has to be re-elected every four years. Imagine if they had to put up with Donald Trump for another 9,996 years! Satan (most ably portrayed by Harvey Keitel) declares that his 10,000 years are almost up, so it's time to pick one of his sons as his successor. From right to left, the sons are:


Adrian, smart and ruthless.


Cassius, smart and tough.


Nicky, such a sweet boy.

Satan announces that he won't pick anyone because he's decided to remain in power for another 10,000 years. Nicky rejoices, because he thinks his Daddy is a good Devil. Adrian and Cassius are angry, so they hatch a plot to kill their father. They go to Earth – New York. Where else? – which automatically causes Hell to freeze over. Unless they return, Satan will slowly fall apart. Nicky is sent to New York to capture his brothers and bring them back.


There's a frantic search for the two sons of Satan, in which Nicky is aided by various people. There are two heavy metal loving Satanists. We know that all heavy metal fans worship Satan, don't we?


There's a bulldog called Beefy.


There's a pretty young girl called Valerie.


There's a bulldog called Beefy. Or did I already mention him?


Yes, I did, but in my last review I promised to post a few more photos of him. Isn't he cute?


There's only one thing wrong with him? Can you spot it?


Now you see it. He won't let go of the television remote. That's bad manners. If two or more people are watching television together, the remote should be in a central place where anyone can grab it.


But he's so cute.


Wouldn't you fall in love with a dog like Beefy?


A look like this would melt anyone's heart.


Admit it, you'd immediately let him in if he were standing outside your window.


He's a horny dog. This is the only sex scene in the film.


You can't accuse Beefy of racism. He likes human women as well. Hmmm... but that isn't racism, it's specism. Does that word even exist?

This is a brilliant film that's appealed to me ever since I first saw it in the cinema. Is it too low in my list? Probably. And it's criminal that it still hasn't been remastered for Blu-ray.

Success Rate:  - 1.5

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk

Saturday, 30 January 2021

Legally Blonde (5 Stars)


I decided to watch this film today after discussing it with a friend. If you're reading this, you know who you are. I'm always willing to take suggestions from friends on what to watch next. That doesn't mean I'll automatically watch whatever's suggested, but I'll seriously consider it. In this case, I was glad of the suggestion. It's been almost 10 years since I last watched it, and I gave it five stars at the time, so why have I waited so long?

I shoved the film into my Blu-ray player, sat back in my comfy armchair, waited... and what happened?

"Disc cannot be played. Wrong region"

That is absolutely disgusting! I never knew the disc was locked to Region A, because my last Blu-ray player, which I bought in England, was multi-regional. The 4K player that I bought last Bonfire Day only plays Region B discs. Maybe I can recode it to multi-regional, but that's not the point. Region-locked DVDs are awful. Region-locked Blu-rays are even worse. I understand why the region thing was invented. It was so that cheap discs in one country couldn't compete with expensive releases of the same film in other countries. That's silly. International postage is so expensive that it would have to be a very big price difference to make it cheaper to buy abroad. Apart from that, why lock a disc to Region A (America) if it's not planned to release the film in Europe?

In this case, I bought the American release of "Legally Blonde" for the simple reason that it's only available on DVD in Europe. Oh! They never thought of that, did they? Region-locked discs are an abomination. The region code on "Legally Blonde" is telling me I'm only allowed to watch the film on DVD, not Blu-ray. That's something I don't accept.

Okay, I could still watch the film in my computer, because I have software that removes the region code. I'm still angry though. I want to punish the company that released the Blu-ray. I'm opposed to film piracy, but I'd like to distribute this film in full HD just to tell them that if they insist on region locking their films they'll lose money. I'm probably too late though. It's an old (-ish) film, released in 2001, so the pirates are probably already distributing the film. That's a shame.


After that rant I hardly have any energy to describe the film itself, but I'll do my best.

Elle Woods is a student at the City University of Los Angeles, studying fashion. She has a boyfriend from a rich, influential family. He boasts that his family has had five generations of senators. He dumps her, because he says he has to think of his image. If he wants to become a senator, he needs a respectable wife.

This inspires her to apply for Harvard Law School to win him back. She has a 4.0 average and an LSAT of 179. I'm not acquainted with the American education system, but I assume that's something good. She's accepted, and then we have the humorous theme of the whole film. She's a colourful girl in the midst of a drab, grey university. Despite her high intelligence, she walks around campus in bright pink clothes, talking like an air-headed bimbo.


Elle even has the most colourful laptop in the university.

After a bumpy start, Elle's intelligence and hard work pays off. A professor makes her an intern in his law film, and she helps defend a fitness instructor accused of murder. Does she get her boyfriend back? Yes and No. He wants her back, but she no longer considers him good enough for her.

This film is a masterpiece on so many different levels. It can be seen as a chick flick comedy, but it also deals with serious themes. It shows that women can be both beautiful and intelligent. They can compete in a men's world and come out on top. It's a film that's empowering for women, and not just aspiring lawyers.

Success Rate:  + 5.9

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk
Order from Amazon.de

Sunday, 6 January 2019

Little Nicky (5 Stars)


I wasn't always the big film fan that I am now. There was a time in my life when I rarely went to the cinema, at most three or four times a year. That didn't change until 2013 when I joined the Birmingham Film Group. I can hardly believe it was so recent! Only five years ago! Now I go to the cinema twice a week, on average.

When I rarely visited the cinema the films that I saw had a big effect on me. I treasured them more. The films that I saw on the big screen became my favourite movies. That's not just because they were good films. It's because they were somehow imprinted on me.

"Little Nicky" is a film that I saw in the cinema when it was released in 2000. It immediately became one of my favourite films. It's a film I can never forget. I have to admit that the story is ridiculous, even for a comedy, but I can't help liking it. Would I like it so much if I'd been watching two films a week in 2000? I don't know. I'll never know.


The story starts with the Devil, played by Harvey Keitel. He's the coolest Devil I've ever seen. He has three sons, and one of them has to take his place as the new ruler of Hell for the next 10,000 years. They each have different qualities.


Adrian is the oldest. He's smart and ruthless.


Next comes Cassius, who's strong and tough.


The youngest is Nicky, who's a sweet little boy.

The choice is too tough to make, so the Devil decides to remain ruler himself. Adrian and Cassius are angry about this this, so they travel to the surface of the Earth – New York, of course! – to create a new Kingdom of Hell on Earth. This is against the Devil's will, so he sends Nicky to stop them.


This is why Nicky is so sweet. His mother is an angel.


On Earth Nicky is confronted by a blind preacher played by Quentin Tarantino.


Nicky is assisted by a demon dog called Mr. Beefy.


"You like acting, I like pissing".


Mr. Beefy is such a cool dog who spends his time visiting strip clubs when he's not helping Nicky save the Earth. I could post dozens of screenshots of him. Maybe that's what I'll do next time I watch the film.

It's difficult to understand why the film isn't more popular. Everyone I've spoken to who's seen the film loves it, but there aren't many. Hardly anyone has seen the film. It needs a flashy Blu-ray release and a big promotion campaign to get people to buy it.

Success Rate:  - 1.5

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk

Sunday, 25 March 2018

Cruel Intentions (3 Stars)


This is one of the many film adaptations of Pierre Choderlos de Laclos' 18th Century novel, "Dangerous Liaisons". It's a tribute to the power of the novel that it's always relevant, whether it's set in 1960's Paris, in 1930's Shanghai or as in this film, in 1990's New York. What's common to every version is that we see the idle rich spending their time with sexual encounters and revenge schemes.

In this version Kathrynn Merteuil and Sebastian Valmont are brother and sister in name only. They live in the same house after their parents married, but there's no connection by blood. Sebastian is a womaniser who has slept with many girls, mostly the daughters of rich families in New York, but the girl he desires the most is his sister. That's hardly surprising, considering Kathrynn is played by Sarah Michelle Gellar. Kathrynn knows what Sebastian wants and uses it to control him. She flirts with him, partially exposing herself in front of him and rubbing her body against his. He's helpless in her hands.

Kathrynn was recently dumped by her boyfriend in favour of an innocent young girl, Cecile. She asks Sebastian to seduce Cecile to break up the relationship. He's reluctant to do this because he wants to seduce Annette Hargrove, the daughter of his school's principal, before the next term starts. Kathrynn can't wait that long, so she turns up the pressure. She writhes on her brother's lap and promises him he can sleep with her after he succeeds in his task.


The story has several twists and turns as it progresses. In the early parts of the film Sebastian seems like the bad guy, but as it progresses we see that he's the victim of his manipulative sister. She's playing other games that aren't apparent at first. The tagline of the German release of this film is

"Love is a game in which there are no winners".

That's very cynical, but it fits this film.

This is a sleek, sexy adaptation of "Dangerous Liaisons". The music and the atmosphere give it the feeling of a teen comedy. For me that's the film's greatest weakness. It's difficult to accept teenagers as being so evil and manipulative.


In the film we see an article in the magazine Seventeen in which Annette Hargrove praises the values of celibacy. She begins with admirable words:

"With teenage pregnancy on the rise and the growing concern of teens contracting HIV, one would think that my virgin status would be the norm, not the exception. However, as I enter my senior year at Manchester Prep, I am all too aware that many of my peers may view me as weird because I haven't had sex yet. It's not that I can't get a date. In fact I have a terrific boyfriend. We just feel that people our age are too young to actually understand what love is, and therefore we are waiting until we reach a more mature stage of our relationship. Most teens I know live their lives day to day, without a care in the world, and that's the way we should be during adolescence. But when you add sex into this carefree lifestyle the consequences can be devastating for both the individuals and the relationship".

Those are wonderful words. But how does she continue?

"Now is the likda dihaindj jasion doi ths kifop Imcha vitme sando wital cuartc juccly onma caucl woiml kichr".

She repeats the same gibberish for two pages. If you don't believe me, click on the photo above for a closer look. If she's run out of things to say she should just stop talking. Maybe she isn't serious about waiting till marriage after all. The magazine should never have interviewed her. It's all very sloppy.

Order from Amazon.com
Order from Amazon.co.uk
Order from Amazon.de