Ever notice that even the most cliche, over done, predictable as hell story becomes instantly more interesting if the main character is gay?

Like, horse movie, but the troubled teen is gay, the reason the perfect, hot as hell ranch hand is still single is because he’s gay and hasn’t found anyone in the small town or on the ranch, until troubled teen comes along. Or maybe troubled teen is a lesbian, and the tension between them and snobby horse racing rich girl is just disaster lesbian energy.

Goofy smart guy that knows everything is sent on a mission only he can do for some fucking reason to get the artifact with a hot chick who is comically out of his league but everyone knows they’ll end up together. What if goofy guy is actually gay, and agreed to go on the mission because he has the hots for the guy who sent them?

What if the eye candy sex object villain hench woman with the seduction to steal important thing and ends up going to the good side because hot people can’t be evil is a lesbian with the hots for generic action hero’s love interest and goes to the good side because she’s tired of being treated like a sex object and wants to be treated like an equal. Then the end of movie scene is love interest and hench woman living on a quiet farm together, or being total badasses together on missions.

Hero must save the damsel in distress? Make that hero a chick and you’ve got yourself a story. Bonus points for some sort of, “No man can ever save her!” Line. Or have the princess not be useless and fight her way out to where her girlfriend is casually waiting outside the tower to give her a ride home. Or make the damsel a prince who is being held for ransom and the king sends some knights to rescue him, and the captain of the guard falls in love with the prince.

There are billions of hetro stories out there, they’re everywhere, but take any cliche trope and toy with the roles and it gets infinitely better. Take a story where everyone knows what’s going to happen, and then subvert their expectations.

Does anyone else get really annoyed when two characters are fighting, and one drowns the other one? Like, it is the easiest shit to get out of, pretend you’re dead you dumbass. Struggle for a bit, then go limp. As soon as they let you go, get back up, and attack them as they walk away. It is literally that simple. Along those same lines, when someone is trying to force a pill or a potion or whatever down someone’s throat, and they pulg their nose, why in the ass do the idiots open their goddamn mouths? You can breath through your teeth you fucking asstard. Seriously, try it, clench your jaw, and open your lips. You can breath fine. Car windows are really easy to break for a fucking reason. You’re trapped in a car and they won’t roll down? Scoot back and kangaroo kick that shit. Then use your shirt or some shit so you don’t get cut up. Oh, a power line broke in a storm and is sitting in a puddle of water and you have to get it out to get the power back on? Here’s an idea, turn the actual power off. Even if you can’t reach it, use that stick you’ve got and flip the fucking breaker, or, go outside and turn it off from the pole or some shit. Electric companies put more than one way to shut off the power for a damn reason. Electricity is dangerous, learn how to use it you dumb cunts. I know you’re trying to be serious or whatever, but it is not worth making your character too stupid to knee someone in the balls when they’re up against a wall being choked out.ay e they got armor, or they a robot, only reasonable excuse, and let me stop you there, it may not be a total system reset for a female, but a kick to the cunt still fucking hurts. Flint and steel is not that easy to use, especially if you aren’t used to it, and two random ass rocks aren’t going to spark a fucking fire, and you can’t just instantly set a log on fire. It’s called kindling, go find some fucking bark, and make sure it’s actually dry. Freezing to death? Get the fuck up and start moving. It hurts, I know it hurts, and I know you’re tired, but suck it up and start moving. It may start slow but when you get the blood pumping you’ll be a lot warmer, now drop and give me 20 maggot. There is no decent blacksmith alive you uses a fucking wood fire. Wood. Burns. Fast. Smithing. Takes. Time. You use coal, you’re getting close, but every blacksmith I know (and that’s saying a lot) uses coke. It’s a kind of charcoal that burns hotter and cleaner, and for the love of Jesus, get a goddamn bellow, it needs air you twats. Pull. Up. Your. Fucking. Hair! This has been a 3 am boredom induced rant.

When I publish my book I have a plan for if anyone gets in my face about the representation, like they say they’ll never read it, or let their kids read it, I’ll just say something along the lines of, “Good, I wouldn’t want homophobes reading my work anyway.” It shuts them down pretty quick, and I’d like to think there’s a possibility that they’ll have their kids read it just to spite me, and then maybe I can reach those kids, and they can see it’s okay to be gay, and see the plethora of representation not usually shown, and be able to identify themselves.

She isn’t like other girls.
She’s a necromancer.

Imagine if Jack and his mother ate the beans instead of throwing them out the window.

Remember in school learning the ‘writing process’? Like, brainstorm, outline, whatever? You don’t have to stick to that in your writing. By all means if you think the structure will help, go nuts. But don’t limit your creativity by stuffing yourself into a box, you don’t have to follow the rules some random dude implemented into the education system. Everybody has their own process and only you can really find out what your’s is.

I’ve lived in the same town my whole life, I’m related to most if not all of the original founders and I’m related to pretty much everyone in the valley except newcomers. As such I know all of the lore, who built what houses, what ghosts are supposedly in those houses and why they’re there. I know enough people that getting something isn’t exactly difficult and I am seriously waiting for some ghost hunting protagonist to come along so I can be their sidekick informant.

When I was little I used to make up stories about really mundane things, like, in the silverware drawer there was a handful of forks and spoons that were mismatched and different from the others and the forks and spoons were divided into big spoons and little spoons and there was this one fork that was a little bigger than the little forks and a little smaller than the big forks so I decided he was an angsty teen who wanted to be treated like an adult but was looked down on by the adults. Then there was this one without any designs that was more slender than the others and that was his girlfriend, and her best friend was this other fork that was shorter than all the others with a different shaped handle and prongs with flowers all over the handle and she was a little Hawaiian girl with a forbidden romance with one of the spoons.

Or with the alphabet I used to thing that A B and C were all best friends that got wasted together and generally fucked around, then R and S were in love and T was S’s younger brother and Q was R’s overbearing mother trying to keep them apart and all of the lowercase alphabet letters were kids who liked to tell stories, and the vowels were, like, higher ups, sort of like elves with their grace and shit and they dictated stuff but the reason Y was only sometimes was because he was a double agent with the underused letters of the alphabet X and Z that were trying to take over so they’d be used more. Idk, just random stuff like that, anyone else?