You know that scene in John Wick 2 where he (John Wick) gets hit by a car and then he immediately fights the assassin driving that car, Cassian, and then they battle for like sixty minutes on the streets of Rome, shooting over cars, knife fighting, falling down a whole flight of stairs, and then grappling and grabbing each other on the cobblestones, yelling and grunting like a bunch of dudes having good old fashioned fun, and then finally they end up smashing right through a window and coincidentally landing in the assassin hotel “safe area” where they’re not allowed to fight anymore…

and then they go and have a drink together?

I thought they should’ve fucked.

So I wrote a book about assassins who do that sort of thing regularly. Check it out here.

But I added what the scene was lacking, besides the fucking part…

Demons.

The scene for anyone who doesn’t remember or doesn’t know it.

This book has:

• an improbable amount of badass, LGBT, demon summoning assassins (the absolute best of the best being transgender).
• a scott pilgrim style plot, involving one pansexual demon summoner having to fight all 7 of his exes for the sake of his newest contract.
• a nonbinary weather controlling demon, trapped on earth. also, one of the exes.
• a blind smartass with a nasty mouth and nastier eye-related powers.
• a city on the brink of annihilation, trapped by forces unseen and unheard and unknowable.
• the most bombastic and ridiculous magic system ever constructed by man.
• and maybe…just maybe…an angsty gay time loop romance (the best narrative trope) but you didn’t hear that from me.

It’s dark, it’s humorous, it’s romantic, it’s riddled with absolutely insane fight scenes, and most importantly…

It’s unabashedly queer and unrealistic and silly and yearn-y.

And I’d really appreciate if you’d help an indie author out, with a sale or a reblog! Agents and publishers told me that it was too queer for regular audiences…and that the concept was just not very compelling.

They might be right, but it still had to exist. I still had to make it, anyway. You know. You have to make the art that you want to see in the world.

Anyway.

Sorry for the long post…you can check out my website for future releases.

And last thing: Character commission of the MC, our lovably slutty pansexual assassin Sebastián Monterey:

And cheers! Sorry for the long post. Have a good night.

I wanna be mutuals with blue lock fans but specifically people who either hate Isagi Yoichi or feel nothing for him at all.

It’s not that I really hate him as a character, I just can’t talk to people who love him. they’re the worst people on earth. I’d like to be able to talk about any other character at all and not have Isagi’s cock be shoved down my throat every other word.

iliothermia:

merlins-art:

Genuinely so pleased with how this turned out ngl

Keep reading

animentality:

animentality:

as some of you know, I was recently banned from a subreddit for 2 full weeks.

and I don’t really care because I never ever post on reddit anyway, but I was curious because my response from the mod team was more of an emotional outburst than someone telling me the rules.

so I appealed the ban and very, very politely agreed with their reasoning but asked them if they can explain to me why the ban was so long, since their policy is usually 72 hours.

and they sent me a snarky response.

but you know me. I’m an instigator.

I replied back but in the way I thought would most aggravate a perpetually online reddit dudebro moderator who spends all their time arguing on anime subreddits.

how’d I do?

I’ll explain my composition here, and yes, this is a game to me. It really does make no difference to me whatsoever being banned. reddit karma means absolutely nothing to me. it’s for people who are extremely lonely and have failed so miserably in every aspect of their life, that they need validation from randos on the internet, and I am neither of these things.

so.

1) accuse the dudebros of being overly emotional. they hate this one. it reminds them of their childhoods and bad relationship with dad. instant trauma.

2) accuse them of being incapable of reason, or of expressing themselves. this goes along with 1.

3) accuse them of being unfair, but also of being unable to actually moderate the community they’re moderating. imply they don’t really care about it either. they might not care about being unfair, but being accused of it… :) especially when their entire life is moderating…. well. foaming mouth.

4) accuse them of either not being polite or being too stupid to be polite. that would drive them insane. also still subtly telling them they should be ashamed to be so impolite. once again, invoking their childhood guilt. also. moral high ground + signature look of smug moral superiority.

5) then my favorite. letting them know (accurately) that I don’t mind being permanently banned. reddit mods are always on an ego trip. their only power over others is the ability to ban people. tell them you don’t intend to post again and that their ban means nothing to you, regardless? instant fume.

6) hit ‘em with kindness. they’ll not only be confused but enraged beyond the capacity to speak. gotta give em the old Midwestern “bless your hearts” and the eastern “have a good week” too. the freaks of reddit are starved of positive reactions with human beings in general. they’ll be absolutely disgusted by both sarcasm and the tranquility of how you’ve conducted your own snarky response. once again. they love being seen as calm collected and logical. this is their thirteenth reason.

and the best part for me is this.

if they don’t respond, I win. because I got the last word in, and I know that if it doesn’t bother all of them, it will bother at least one of them until they die. these kind of perpetually online people hear words repeating over and over in their heads, and they let internet randos get to them forever.

if they do respond, angrily, then I obviously win because that’s the name of the internet game.

if they respond with passive aggression, like, say, they say “oh don’t worry sweetie, happy to help,” I’ll just send them this 😘

it’ll be like all those fanfics, you know, the hostile sexual tension. I might even become aroused.

but I personally hope they respond with both a screaming rant and/or a permanent ban.

because if they ban me permanently, I have a funny meme to post later, and I will.

if they don’t ban me permanently, I’m getting onto this subreddit and participating way more than I ever would’ve, if I hadn’t been banned. and I will drive them insane.

and regardless of whether I’m banned or not…

I hope I get the screaming rant because it might be very, very fun to show it to you guys later.

so anyway.

I wrote that post on the shitter in like five minutes.

when you’re an instigator, this stuff comes to you naturally, what can I say

ummm mm .

ok.

this is weird.

they put my post back up. still banned, but I can’t tell if it’s permanent or not.

… what?

that’s odd.

is this a… “take that” or…?

I feel like hockey players don’t need to be slamming each other into the ice like that, surely they can just fuck it out.

it’s been brought to my attention that sailor moon could easily beat goku.

and i gotta swing this one at angry weebs one of these days, just to get the dudebros mad at me.

my boss is like, make a pull request, and I’m like ok, and then a week later, he’s like why haven’t you updated (whatever), and I’m like, because it’s in a pull request you have to approve, and he’s like oh I haven’t gotten around to looking at that.

like no shit.

check your pull requests before complaining I’m not doing anything. I can’t merge with master myself here, buddy, old pal.