The Morgan Harper Nichols Show

A conversation with Eniola Abioye 

A conversation about home, routine and life with Kennesha Buycks

Today I am joined by Dani Evans. Dani Evans is a Brooklyn-based model and designer. Born in Little Rock, Arkansas, she traded her small city roots for NYC after being crowned the winner of America’s Next Top Model: Cycle Six. She is also the founder of Monrowe: a hat brand inspired by her grandfather’s jazz legacy. 

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Today, I am chatting with Hugette Montesinos about living life with intention, the deeper meaning of color, and creating a roadmap to guide you through those moments where you feel stuck. This conversation inspired me to remember what draws me to color...sure, it's about the aesthetics, but there's so much more. Hugette's work is a wonderful reminder of this reality!

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Danielle Coke (OhHappyDani)

Here's the book Morgan mentioned!

"Every Moment Holy" https://g.co/kgs/Wkafvi

Click here to leave a voice message! (click “message”)

Click here to leave a voice message! (click “message”)

Today, I am joined by Christine Yi Suh! We talk about making time to dream and create, even when so much is changing around us, and the schedule is full. We also talk about parenthood, daily life, and what Christine is dreaming of. Christine is a pastor, writer, creative, and spiritual director who is passionate about the intersection of soul care, justice, and faith from the margins. Her forthcoming book, Forty Days on Being a Four releases in 2021 and explores the intersection of her enneagram number, Korean American ethnic identity, womanhood, activism, and faith formation. She and her partner David live outside Los Angeles and love sharing their Korean heritage with their two kids, Samuel and Ellie.

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Today, I am talking with writer, guide, and therapist Lisa Olivera about curiosity over judgment, especially as it relates to our own voices, and how to work through feeling like our voices don’t matter. We talk about routine shifts, liminal space, journaling, and what advice Lisa would give to herself, ten years ago — I am so excited to share this conversation with you today.

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Today, I am joined in conversation by Keturah King — journalist, television host (including pioneer host of CNN African Voices), actress, and contestant on Masterchef USA — where I first saw her! In this episode, we talk all about the heart of the dream. We walk about how, when we dream of what could be, we are not just dreaming for ourselves but for those who will come after us. I hope that this conversation inspires you to continue to cultivate a hopeful imagination, and not only for today, but for the next generation.

Keturah King

In today's episode, I talk with author, writer, and licensed therapist Minaa B. on how we spend our time and all of the beautiful lessons that arise from being mindful of our time.

Connect with Minaa B.

Dylan Mierzwinski is an artist and illustrator living in Phoenix, Arizona, and this episode is all about trying new things. I met Dylan because I moved to a new city, Dylan talks about trying new art styles, and how to be challenged and encouraged by community. - Morgan Harper Nichols

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I think one of the biggest myths about creativity is that it's all about making art. In reality, creativity is about the process and everything we learn while trying to make something new, no matter what the final product looks like. Creativity is a way to share a message we truly care about that otherwise may not have been heard. Creativity is a form of illuminating what’s important that gets easily looked over or forgotten. Creativity is many things, and for NIKKOLAS SMITH, creativity is a place where he has found peace. NIKKOLAS is an Artivist, children's book author, a Hollywood film illustrator whose work serves as an invitation into conversations and stories that are worthy of illumination.

NIKKOLAS SMITH

In today’s episode with Courtney Burg, we talk about roadblocks. We talk about the things that get in the way in life, work, and relationships. In the moment, it can feel like the circumstances or emotions that keep us stuck are permanent. In that place, Courtney’s writing serves as a graceful, yet direct tool to show us that even when the roadblocks slow us down, and even when they go on for miles and miles, perhaps, there is still a way around it. We can still make it through. Perhaps, there is still room to work through all of the things we thought would hold us back.  - Morgan Harper Nichols

Listen to our conversation on…

Season 5, Episode 3: When to say ‘yes,’ and when to say ‘no’ with Monica Zuniga. Monica is a coach, consultant, communicator — and a friend of mine! Today we’re walking about what it means to build a meaningful life and how that involves not only saying ‘yes,’ but saying ‘no,’ letting go, and setting boundaries.

Season 5, Episode 2: How to find rhythms in the wild of change with Tess Guinery. 

Tess is a dancer by upbringing, a designer by trade, and an artist by calling. Tess is currently working on book no.3 (Surprise title) which launches 2021 and is on the cusp of launching her new fine art range 'Words for Walls.’

Season 5, Episode 1: How can we make the most of where we are now? No matter the season?

Today is the first day of a new season of my podcast where I will be interviewing storytellers from around the world on how they are finding peace and meaning in life and work. Today, I am sharing a conversation I had recently with Monique Coleman: Actress, Global Youth Advocate, and Founder of Mo'Tivated Product and Gimme Mo.

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Waiting is an invitation into noticing - noticing all of the little details that get forgotten when life is busy, and we're rushing from one thing to the next. Waiting invites us to be still and listen. In that stillness, we may hear the creek of the neighbor’s stairs in the townhome next door. We may notice how quickly we get bored a little bit more than before. And we also start to notice the precise moment where the sun rises. The precise moment where light filters through. The leaves on the tree across the street, and how each color, yellow and green, dance their way into noon.

In the waiting, we notice that we're not the only ones waiting. We're not the only ones walking a little slower, looking around, noticing the little things that get so easily forgotten. All around us, there are other people and animals too - engaging and experiencing the same things that we're seeing. Even when it seems like much of the world is rushing from place to place, from space to space - there are still all of these other people who are waiting just like us.

There are all of these other people who are learning to look closely at their relationship with solitude and silence. What matters is that we know we are not the only ones waiting. We are not the only ones turning our face to the window for any little flicker of light that reminds us we are loved and we are seen.

So the next time you turn to the sun, or you feel the wind blowing around you: know, in that moment, someone else is feeling that too. You may never meet this person or speak to this person. But you can imagine: what do they look like? What are they waiting for? What chapter are they in, in their story? Why are they noticing the wind today? What about this particular sunrise caught their attention?

Even when we don't know each other, we can hope for the best for one another in the waiting. We can smile at the possibility that maybe someone who is just walking down the street is finally getting that fresh air that they've been needing. Maybe that car that drives by just like every other car is a car that holds someone who has a story, who's on their way to a new chapter in that story. Someone who is trying to make the most of the waiting.

I hope today that your imagination can take you to a hopeful place. A place where you imagine a better present and a better future, not only for yourself, but for those around you. We may never know the ins and outs and details of the stories of people that we cross every day. But we can trust that far beyond what we see, new connections are being made. We are all in this together, learning to make the most of the wait.

Journal: Listen for a car outside or the sound of someone speaking not too far away, and ask yourself: what beautiful thing do you hope happens in their life today?

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This is for the one who is patiently waiting to see things come together in your life, while simultaneously seeing things fall into place in the lives of others. You found yourself in a place where you're grateful for where you are and you're excited for those around you - and you also find yourself saying, Congratulations! And I'm so happy for you! so much to the point that you just wonder, when is anyone going to say this to you? When are you going to hear those words echoed back to you? Congratulations, I'm so happy for you! I'm so glad to see things working out.

Again, you're grateful for where you are. And it's not that you live for the approval of others or you live to acquire material things. But every now and then, you wonder what it would be like to finally see the fruits of your labor. To finally get that deep breath, that sigh of relief that so many others around you seem to receive.

In that place, I hope you know, there is no shame in feeling frustrated or disappointed because you’re yet to see things fall in place. It's okay to feel impatient, because to feel impatient is to feel human. You can be the most grounded and grateful human being, and yet - you are still a human being. In the same way your physical body hungers and thirsts, this is also true of your heart.

Whatever it is that you're craving right now shows that you are still in this life. You are still connected to the ground beneath your feet, even when it feels like your mind is miles and miles away. So allow yourself to wonder. Allow yourself to ask questions - to pray prayers about your longing. Having gratitude for where we are is a wonderful thing, but not when we're shaming ourselves into it.

If gratitude becomes a way to ignore the gravity of what we are longing, then gratitude is not enough. Because the purpose of gratitude is not to make us get in line and forget everything that we've ever longed for. But it is to help us be grounded in the present moment as we continue to face new unknowns. Having gratitude for what you have doesn't mean ignoring your needs. If you are in need of love, belonging, acceptance, intimacy, affection - it's okay to name those things, even if you already have relationships that you're grateful for.

You are allowed to be grateful and thankful for where you are - excited for your friends and your family. And at the same time, acknowledge wherever your needs are not being met. It is okay to long for more. It is okay to admit that you're tired of waiting. It doesn't mean you're ungrateful to admit that you are tired of waiting. At the very same time, as you exhale those words, may you remember that you are more than those words. You are more than those feelings. You are more than that expression. There is life beyond what you've just shared. Whether you're sharing it in your journal, with a friend, a therapist - allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to express honestly, and allow yourself to trust that even here there is more to come.

Journal: What are you longing for right now?

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May you never forget the beauty and the power of community. Sometimes community means a big group of people, where you feel seen and heard by more than one person - and sometimes community is seeing yourself reflected in a work of literature, and a poem, or comedy series. So whenever you feel a sense of warmth today, or you find yourself laughing, or enjoying the presence of a song, or of another person, consider this to be a moment that you are engaging in community. You do not have to have a big group of like-minded people to know that you are seen. Yes, this can be immensely valuable. But now more than ever, we are having to get creative about how we connect with others.

So keep this in mind - if you feel alone, if you feel like you're not able to connect with others in the way that you used to or the way that you desire to. You are not the only one experiencing this, you're not the only one walking through this. And here's the thing: we are also able to connect around what we don't know. If you have to feel lost or lonely or overwhelmed, trust that at any given moment, there are other people out there experiencing the same thing.

I have said this quite a bit here, and it remains true: none of us have ever been here before. We are each having to get creative and push into the deep layers of creativity in ways that we have never had to do in our lifetime. At the same time, this work connects us. This work shapes us together and reminds us that we are not in this alone.

This unique year has also stirred up so many unique ideas among us. So let us share the recipes. Let us share the poems and the comedies and the movies that have spoken to us and brought us joy, laughter, and meaning in uncertain times. Let us allow our creativity to be an opportunity for generosity and connection, even when we are apart.

I believe that I have shared this poem by Kahlil Gibran before, but I want to share a little bit of it today if that's okay with you.

Let there be spaces in your togetherness. And let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. And stand together, yet not too near together: for the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. 

- Khalil Gibran

These words were written in 1923. Even if we are apart, we are not alone in any of this.

Journal: Where will you find togetherness today?

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Today's episode is for the one who feels like you have been called to something more and yet you don't quite know what. You feel the pulse, you feel like you're on the verge of something, and yet, you also feel like you're staring at a blank canvas. With a whole variety of paint - many colors sitting at your side - with no idea of how to mix them together, what to paint, how to paint, how to create something. And yet, these tools are here. And yet, nothing comes, you're still waiting, you're still trying to figure out what this is, what's calling your name to create, what new thing were you meant to step into?

I cannot tell you exactly what you were meant to do in the next few weeks, few months, few years, or decades, but I can tell you that there is something right here in the present moment that does bring you alive. There is something right here that does energize you. You do not have to start with a blank canvas in order to create something beautiful. You do not have to start with a blank journal page in order to contribute something of value. If you feel energized by learning new things about the world or you feel motivated when you get to spend a little extra time with the people that you care about, continue to do those things without worrying about the outcome.

That pulse that you feel when you're doing something you love doesn't always have to turn into a project. You are allowed to nurture what brings you joy without worrying about how it fits into the larger picture. You are allowed to be excited about something in this present moment, even without knowing if that excitement will come tomorrow. That is all the more reason to feel the full weight of the excitement today. How can you nurture the relationships and connections and curiosities that you have right here in the present moment? Give energy to the things that bring you joy, and the things that bring others joy-  right here, right now, without worrying about the outcome. Without worrying about how this is going to play out months from now, years from now, or decades from now. You will arrive at the future when you are meant to be there. And in the meantime, you have today to make the most of where you are.

Journal: What energizes you?

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Whenever you feel like you're not good enough to handle the task at hand, I hope you can always remember that there are so many ways to be good at things. Not everyone is skilled in the same way. And even further, it can take years - even decades -  to figure out where you're able to work and flow the best. Allow yourself to go on that journey of figuring it out. Allow yourself to engage in the practice of learning and growing more and more of how you're wired. Even when it comes to personality theory, for instance, the enneagram - there are so many different versions of each type, that it is impossible to be able to completely map out who you are, especially in a short frame of time.

It may seem discouraging at first to feel like you don't really have a grip on who you are. And at the same time, this is true: everyone else is on this journey to. Everyone else, including the people you look up to, live with their own questions on how to cope and make the most of this life. No one has figured it all out yet. And even when we do get into a stride and we start to feel pulled in a certain direction, we must remember that it's exactly that - a direction, not a destination. Even when the plans line up and we're ready to go on our next adventure, we are still venturing out into a new unknown, but there is no reason to be afraid of the unknown. For while the unknown may bring up certain fears -  it also brings with it the possibility that there is more to your story that is worth uncovering. The more you travel into the future each day, the more you will start to see new things about yourself in new ways.

Trust, you're going to learn more about yourself as you go. You're going to learn how you work best. You're going to learn how to rest. You're going to learn that everyone else is still learning, and whatever little bit of wisdom you pick up along the way will prepare you for the days to come. There will be days where you wonder if you're good enough, and on those same days you will learn to carry on. You will learn to carry on knowing that every moment is wrapped in grace, and you are free to travel through the rest of the day and the rest of this life - pace by pace by pace.

Journal: What work do you feel like you're not good enough to do and you can still try to do it anyway?

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To the one who is slowly starting to see the progress

You are coming into the Light. You are coming into the Light realizing that losing control in the past doesn’t mean you will lose control every moment in the future. You are learning to be kinder to yourself. You are learning to see that there is a way to be honest about where you need to grow without judgment. It’s taken a lot to get here, but you are well on your way. You are becoming more and more of who you were meant to be, every single day.

Stay the course. You are moving forward, one day at a time. Even on the days where you feel like you are about to lose control over your emotions, you’re still learning to breathe through this. Even when everyone else seems further along than you, Light still pours through. The narrow path beneath your feet is warm with lamps that show you the way.

There is no need to worry. The past that you thought would define you is getting further and further behind you. Beautiful things are unfolding in their time. You are finding grace for this part of the journey.

And yes, you are still learning. You are still learning how not to compare yourself to others. You are still learning not to comparing where you are to your past self. And at the same time, here you are, breathing through. Slowly letting go of old ways of thinking and carrying on, anyway.

You are noticing what brings you to a place of peace. You are nothings flickers of sunlight poking through the clouds. You are starting to see it now…you are not where you used to be and that is a beautiful thing.

Question of the day: Where is the sun shining through today?

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Transcript: When the sun sets sooner than you want it to, and you are trying to make up for lost time, ask yourself, “who or what am I trying to keep up with, and why?”

When you’re out by the ocean, you don’t question the waves for arriving slower on the shore than they did an hour before. When you’re amongst the winter trees you don’t think less of them because of the absence of leaves. When you’re underneath a clouded sky you don’t shame the clouds for taking their time to roll by. So why would you do this to yourself? Why would you think for a moment that you were worth any less if you were unable to rush ahead?

The modern world is filled with rushing, easily measured things and at the same time, that’s not how your heart beats. That’s not how your body breathes.

So more than we seek to see ourselves reflected in a human-made calendar or someone else's schedule or way of living, let us look toward the natural, sacred rhythms around us. Our clocks and watches can tell time but they cannot tell us how to find meaning in the time we’ve been given. No matter the landscape you live in, there are unique qualities that you can look at slowly, closely, and lovingly. Notice what brings you a sense of peace. Notice how you don’t end up comparing yourself to the trees or the sunrise or the open fields in all their beautifully created glory. What if you were able to see your relationship with others in this way? What could daily life be like if comparison or worries about time were not in the way?

It’s not too late to pursue a life beyond the worries that you don’t have enough time to live a meaningful life. It’s not too late to turn and face the windows and notice what brings you a sense of peace. Maybe, the open sky looks this way today for a reason. Maybe the trees or even the dirt patches outside your window have a story to tell. Perhaps, they have a purpose.

Let today be a day of long, slow, looks. Long, slow looks, right here, where you are. This moment has something to show you right now and you are free to take the time to listen.

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Transcript: If you find yourself becoming more aware that we are coming toward the end of another year, and you’re wondering if you’ll have time to complete all of the things you set out to do, I hope you can remember the peace you found in the days behind you. The days where you didn’t make it to the end of the checklist, but you did make it to your bed at night, where you were able to rest, despite all you did not complete. The days where you gave all of your time and energy to everyone else, and then ran out of time for yourself…even on the days, you woke up to a new morning. You woke up to a new morning with awareness that even though you couldn’t press the ‘undo’ button or add more time to yesterday,  you could start again today, anyway.

Whenever you start to feel the hours slipping away from you, and you start to wonder if you’re going to make it to the end of the year or the end of this season with a sense of accomplishment, take a deep breath and remember how you have grown despite things not working out in the past. Take a deep breath and remember that even though you can’t get the time back, it wasn’t all bad. Yes, there were things left undone in the past, and there were also lessons learned that prepared you for where you are today. May you never let the memory of gathered wisdom slip away. Because even if you step into the future without the accomplishments or accolades you thought you would have by now, you are stepping into the future a little wiser. You’ve learned from your mistakes. You’ve even learned from the mistakes of others. You’ve learned that you can still be whole amidst everything that was left undone.

As we move toward the end of the year, you might feel the rush of things. And at the same time, I hope you are able to lean into the peace that has already found you. Peace that reminds you to breathe deep and keep going. Peace that reminds you are whole and you are free to grow in grace and wisdom, no matter what remains undone behind you. You are not running out of time. You are making it through this just fine. 

Question of the day: When is the last time you made it through a day you didn't think you'd make it through?

- Morgan Harper Nichols

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Slowly but surely, you're beginning to realize that the past will not have a permanent effect on your life. Even though you know more about the days behind you than you know about the days before you, this remains true: this present moment is about something so much more than comparing the present to the future. This present moment is a space to practice hope, no matter the unknowns that lie before you. For this moment right here will never be here again. Soon, this will become a past moment. Soon, this will become a day behind you.

So before it becomes another past moment, how can you allow this moment to be different than the others? What can you do today, in this very hour, that you haven't done in a very long time, or you've never done before? Because now that you know that your past did not define you, this present moment doesn't have to be about keeping up with a storyline of yesterday. You are allowed to change things up. You do not have to be the same person that you were a year ago, a month ago, or even an hour ago. And if someone else says, hmm, you seem a little different these days or oh, you're changing course again, you are allowed to say yes, I am, and nothing else. You do not have to explain yourself. You are allowed to change course. You are free to go off script. And you are free to be excited about it. You are allowed to declare with confidence: no, I am not who I was yesterday. And I have this moment right now to try something in a new way. No, I do not know how tomorrow will go, but I am at home in grace. Grace that frees me to be who I was meant to be right here in the present moment. Not attached to who I was yesterday.

Now there will be thoughts and maybe even conversations that continue to come up about yesterday. And at the very same moment you are afraid to try new things. You are free to ask, what does courage look like today? Not - what do I think courage will look like tomorrow? But what does courage look like today? What does joy look like right now, in this very hour? What would it look like to change my mind about something - right here, right now? You are allowed to ask new questions today. You are allowed to lean into the present moment in an all new way.

Journal: How is today different from any other day?

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If you happen to feel that this week is asking a lot of you - as you try to look ahead, while also reckoning with everything that has already happened - I hope that this could be a reminder to take a deep breath.

For yes, you don't know what tomorrow is going to look like, and this is also true: the moments you are taking on days like this to breathe, are also strengthening you. Slow down and take a moment and think of a place or a space that gives you a sense of calm. Is it by the lake, by the ocean, out in the forest? What part of that place is always constant? Do you always hear the sound of the water there? Do you always notice the way the sun rises through the trees? Notice how even your memory of this place can bring you to a moment of stillness. Notice how the leaves on the trees are still green, or the bark or rich brown, or the color of the water clear and glistening in the light. Notice how all of these things are still present and steady, even when life is not.

When you find yourself overwhelmed by chaos, or even an awkward conversation that has to be had, take a deep breath, and remember that place. Allow whatever is beautiful about that landscape to speak to your soul. Even though taking a moment to reflect on something beautiful may not make your problems or your worries go away, they will remind you that you have the opportunity every day to find a sense of steadiness.

Merriam Webster defines steadiness as: the state of continuing without change.

So whatever it is in the present moment, or even just in your memory, that reflects a sense of changelessness -  a sense of consistency and stability - allow yourself to hold onto that image. And allow yourself to go into that image. Pay attention to what colors, what textures, what the weather is like in that place. And again, this won't make everything that is difficult or challenging in life suddenly disappear - but it will illuminate what is beautiful. What is true. What is steady, even when uncertainty surrounds you. Find steadiness today by reflecting on what has not changed. Find steadiness by reflecting and holding on to what is beautiful and true, no matter what's around you.

Journal: Using all of your available senses, describe a place that brings you a sense of calm.

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This is your Monday morning reminder that you can do this. Whether you have a busy week ahead; you have known busy weeks before. Whether you have a slower week ahead; you have known slower weeks before. Whatever you are facing - yes, it is unknown. You've never been through these exact sets of dates before. And at the very same time, you have already gathered wisdom, courage, and strength to make it through each day, each hour, each minute. So let today be the day you stay awake. Stay awake to each moment, knowing that it will prepare you for the next moment.

Annie Dillard once said, How we live our days is how we live our lives.

On its own, this Monday may seem like another day to get through. It may seem like another day on the calendar that will pass in a matter of hours before you are on to the next one. The reality is: the beauty that you notice today, the small courageous steps that you take today, the moment that you encounter love, and you actually embrace it - all of these things are strengthening you for what's to come, even though you don't know what's to come.

Today is so much more than just another day. It is rich with possibility to learn and to grow.

The poet David Whyte once said,

You are not a troubled guest on this earth,

you are not an accident amidst other accidents

you were invited from another and greater night

than the one from which you have just emerged.

That's from his book, What to Remember When Waking.

Today is the day to stay awake. Even if we can't quite grasp the fullness of what it means to be present on yet another day, we can still trust that it matters that we woke up yet another morning. Yet another day is before us. Another week is before us. And no matter how we feel about the days to come, we know that we are free to take this one day at a time, one step at a time. One breath at a time. Even here, this is a sign of strength and growth.

Journal: What are you looking forward to this week?

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The future will arrive when it is meant to arrive, and you do not have to exhaust yourself in the present moment trying to figure out how you will get there. The energy you have been giving to thoughts about the future is energy you need for right now. The time you have been given to try to sort through things in the past is time you could be spending in the moment that lies right here before you. Be present to this moment and let it surprise you, with just how beautiful this day can be beyond the boundaries of your worries.

Dare to let yourself just be here. Dare to believe you are free to make the most of life while living with uncertainty. Because this is the wilderness, and it is not where you thought you would be. But it is out here on the unbridled paths you will find the courage and strength you need to be present in the moment and make the most of the little things. For even here, the sun is still rising. The wind is still blowing. And no matter the unknowns, you are still growing. Even when your mind is anxious, and you feel lost indoors, trying to make sense of a place you have never been before, I hope you can trust that the sun is still rising - even if you don't watch it rise - and that means something. You have not missed out on what was meant for you, even when it feels that way.

When I talk about what was meant for you, I don't mean a perfect life down the road where everything will fall in place exactly how you expect it to. What I mean is that no matter what is missing in the present moment, life can still be fulfilling in the days to come. Maybe it might look differently than what you originally planned. Maybe some of the people that you thought would be there are not going to be able to be present in the way that you hope that they would. Maybe some of the places that you used to visit or the places that used to feel like home might not feel like home anymore. At the very same time, you are going to be fine. Maybe not perfect, but fine. You will find grace in the lining of every new day that lies before you.

Journal: What about the future scares you? And what about the future excites you?

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So much has happened this year, and now you're starting to see things in a new way. You're paying closer attention to the details. Your gratitude is growing. This year, you've been strong and you've been tender. You've shown up with courage, and you've taken time to rest.

I hope more than anything that you can continue on this journey of seeing the world in a new way. I hope that as the days and weeks pass and the seasons begin to change all around you, a desire to learn and grow will run ever wild within you. Remain in the present. Let these become the days you look back on with gratitude for how you chose to come alive here. Let the photograph you're taking be the photographs that remind you: all along the little things were worth so much more than most would give them credit for. All along every day, light was pouring in, in a million subtle ways, and you chose to capture them. You chose to hold on to them. And years from now, this will matter more than you know. No one can take this from you. You may not know where you will be a year from now, but this moment, right here, exists all on its own. Every new breath you breathe is an invitation to come alive in it. So continue to make the most of where you are, as you are. Continue to trust that you are free to let light in, even when the future is uncertain. May you continue to experience a beautiful, meaningful life, all because you chose to see how it all begins - right here in the present moment.

One day you will look back and be so glad that you chose to step forth in this season. You will be so grateful that even when you are met with resistance, it was worth it to keep pushing through. It was worth it to keep trusting and believing that there was more ahead of you. And not that this present season is perfect, and it is everything you thought it would be, but it is a place where you are learning and discovering there is just so much more to see. And even though you are being challenged, you are still growing. Your heart is opening and you are seeing new things coming together. You are awakening. You are awakening.

Journal: What are you awakening to?

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If it's still in your mind, it is worth taking the risk.

• Paulo Coelho.

Many of us have wondered: what are we supposed to do with our lives? Even if we don't think about it all the time, at one point or another, we have wondered: when are we supposed to settle down or shake things up? Where are we supposed to be working? Where are we supposed to be spending our time? These questions don't have easy answers. And at the same time, it often feels like if you have them, then finally - you will be able to breathe! Finally, you'll be able to plan for the future and actually start to look ahead in a hopeful way.

We hold back from taking risks, because to take a risk is to dive into the deep end of the unknown. And oh, wouldn't it just be so much easier to know? Wouldn't it just be so much easier to finally get clarity that says, this is what you were supposed to do! This is where you were supposed to be! This is the clear choice that you should make! But the beautiful reality is that even without those clear cut answers, we learn to keep going anyway. We learn to keep trusting even when we don't realize we are trusting. Every day is brand new, and we wake up not knowing what is going to happen, and yet we show up anyway. We do the work that needs to be done.

Questions find us and we continue to become who we were meant to be. So now that you know this, I hope that today can be a day that you lean into the questions. Right here, right now, you are free to pay attention to all of the thoughts that cross your mind, all of the feelings that you are able to identify, and wonder again and again. Maybe it's through these things that I can find the courage and strength to keep going.

One example of this is to pay attention to the things that make you angry. Some of us have been told that we should never be angry, or we should never show negative feelings. Yet, it is often our anger and our frustration that reveals what we're truly passionate about - what change we want to see in the world. Our strong feelings may not tell us exactly what we're supposed to be doing in this season of life, but they might just show us where we can start to look. They might just show us as Paulo Coelho says, where we might want to take a ris. For perhaps taking a risk is just another way of saying: I'm going to try this. I don't know how it's going to turn out, but I'm going to try anyway. I don't know the outcome of every possible choice, so I'm going to choose courageously. I'm going to choose courageously knowing that I am going to learn and grow either way. For I am learning to be less afraid. I am learning that I am free to live fully even while I wait for things to fall in place.

Journal: Where will you take a risk today?

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When you have an awareness of your own struggles, your awareness equips you with a certain kind of empathy - an empathy that is patient and kind, because you know what it's like to struggle. You're slower to judgment when you see someone else struggling, because you've been there.

When you have an awareness of your own struggles, you have a way of holding space that matters more than you know. Even if your stories aren't exactly the same, if you have known pain, you know the value of being seen. You know this deeply and intimately. This is why you do the work you do. This is why you make the art you make. Something deep is driving you. This is why you seek justice when the scales have been drastically unbalanced, in favor of judgment, because you know what it feels like to be on the other side. On the other side of the gossip. On the other side of the rejection. You know what it's like to be the outcast, the different one, the misunderstood one. And one of the things that the struggle has taught you is that you don't want anyone in that position to feel that way.

This is why you keep showing up every day. This is why you do the work you do. You are doing so much more than just traveling through. You care for those in vulnerable places, not only because you feel like you have to, but because deep in the well of your soul, you believe in the power and vitality of love. You know that even when you can't fix things to make it all perfect for someone, it still matters that they feel seen. You have known unknowns in your life, and you have worked through restless nights. You have also known what it means to wake up to morning light. And this deep knowing shines through the work you do. Every new day you are alive is proof that there is more to you.

And while it takes so much courage to be here in this life, things are starting to become a little bit more full circle now. You're starting to see that because you've lived it, you know this: if someone is still in progress, it doesn't mean they are worth any less. And even while you are still healing from some of the wounds that have found you and the words that were said, there's a fire inside of you that wants to make sure others don't feel that way. Your concern and your empathy for others is rooted in love. Love that has not let you go even when you were in the lowest place. May you carry on today giving from the love lined place of your heart. Be present with empathy. Act on hope. Your heart for healing matters more than you know.

Journal: When you hear the word empathy, who comes to mind?

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Perhaps more than life, it's about assuring that we won't fail. It's about realizing that with every new morning, we are free to try again. The mere fact that we are here on this all new day means that yesterday was not the end. The sunshine is proof that once again, despite all of yesterday's unknowns, there is more to this life, there is more to you. Failures often feel more final than they really are. An end of a storyline in your life might feel like the end of the story altogether. However, beyond the feeling, we must remember that because we can only ever see the story from our own perspective, we don't know what all of the other characters are up to. We don't know what other plots are developing beyond our scope of things.

Our failures don't cancel out the possibility of new beginnings. Our fears of the future don't mean that the future is doomed. As long as we are here, new days will find us. Morning light will continue to remind us beyond our ways of thinking, there is still more to see.

In one of my favorite books, On the Brink of Everything, Parker J. Palmer writes,

But I do know this: once I understand that I'm not the sun, I can get out of the sun's way and stop casting shadows. I can step aside to let the true sun shine on everyone and everything, making all things ripe with a glow of life.

• Parker J. Palmer

The way that you can start to trust that there is more to you is by accepting that it is not all up to you to perfectly plan out every plotline in your life. And the more you are able to embrace the failures as a part of the story, the more you begin to see: this is one narrative out of many narratives folding in and out of your life. Think about it this way. There have been times in your life or failure meant someone else's success. And there have also been times in your life where your success meant someone else's failure. It is possible that when you got the job that meant someone else didn't. When you were admitted into the university, someone else was denied. Even romantically, two people falling in love might mean another person having to let go of the unrequited feelings they had for someone.

Our stories aren't just our stories. They are woven in and out of countless other stories. We have no idea how every little thing will impact some other thing. This is why we have to trust. We have to trust that we are a part of a story that is so much greater than us. And our moments of plot twists and unexpected character arcs are a part of a greater story that is so much larger than we are. So if anything in your life feels like a failure right now remember the bigger picture. Remember, once again, you have arrived at morning. Today is new, you have not reached the end.

Journal: When was the last time you experienced a positive plot twist in your life?

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While you wrestle with the possibility that things may not go back to how they were, I just hope you know: it is still a sign of strength that you are learning to work through this. The mere fact that you have made the choice to no longer hold it all inside is a sign that you are finding perhaps, in its own strange way, that letting go brings healing. And not that letting go makes everything easier. In fact, there are times where initially it might only remind you of the wounds, but even there, it can also remind you: you are worthy of release. You are worthy of being free from all the things that broke your heart.

Even here, you're stepping out of the shadows and into the light. You are learning to face what you truly feel and say the words you really want to say. You are learning to be brave. You're finding that even though it might be so hard to have to move on this way, there is still boundless grace that says: your story will go on anyway. Within this grace, you will heal. You will carry the lessons you learned in this season into new seasons. You will wake up years from now and realize that this heartbreak was still a part of a greater story. You will find that there was so much more ahead of you, even when it was hardest to believe.

So no matter how tomorrow goes, please do not be hard on yourself. You have been broken open to heal and you are not weak for feeling tender. You are doing the right thing and being honest and stepping forward into the light, trusting that no matter what is revealed, there is space to be alright. Not perfect, but alright. And you can move through these hallways with courage, knowing you did everything you could and the future can still be beautiful, light woven, honest, and good.

Journal: Where are you learning to let go right now?

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Perhaps after all the love you have given to others, you are free to trust: you are worthy of love too. You are free to trust: there is a life worth living, beyond carrying everything on your shoulders. You have the capacity to hold so much, so do not forget to hold space for rest. For so long, you have desired to understand others, because it was hard to understand yourself. The love you felt you were not receiving you gave to everyone else. So just in case no one has told you lately: you are worthy of the same love you give. You bring value when you show up for others and also, when you breathe deep and simply live. You long to find your place in the world. You long to be fully present. And I just hope that just as much as you are present to others, you are also present to yourself.

You see beauty in the life of others and the stories that they tell, and I just hope you know as you listen: you are worthy of being heard as well. You love others so well. You see where the light pours through. May you know the same love you give, you are worthy of receiving too. Maybe there's no such thing as self care versus taking care of others. Maybe they're intertwined. Maybe we need each other and we also need to remind each other that it is okay to take time to rest. That we are valuable even when we are not working. We are valuable even when we do not feel that we are at our best. We must carve out space and time to go out into the wilderness and return when we have rested. And we must also encourage one another to do the same.

None of us are able to run on empty and yet our minds work overtime to convince us that we can. Let us continue to remind one another to rest even if we have to rest in shifts. Let us continue to love well, knowing this does not mean we have to abandon ourselves. Let us take breaks when we need to take breaks no matter how short they are. Let us ask for support where we need support, even when it feels awkward or countercultural to do so. Let us love well every moment we live, knowing we are worthy of the same love we give.

Journal: How can you find moments of rest at the beginning of a week?

Light! more light! the shadows deepen,

And my life is ebbing low,

Throw the windows widely open:

Light, more light! before I go.

Francis Ellen Watkins Harper, “Let the Light Enter”

May you approach this day with gratitude and hope that even here, you are learning things that are integral to your growth. And one day you will look back and find you are growing in ways you could not see at the time. You found light pouring in through unexpected places. You found moments of joy right in the middle of your unknowns.

So let joy be joy, even when it feels subtle and fleeting. Even when joy takes on the form of a momentary flicker, it is still worth noticing and keeping. Because no - everything won't be beautiful or easy. But it won't all be difficult either. Many things in life will require a fight, and on some Monday nights, you will fall asleep just fine.

There will be people who don't keep their word, and there will be others that will. Sometimes you'll learn and grow on the road, and other times, you will learn from standing still. Embrace the ebb, but don't forget the flow, those unforced moments of joy matter more than you know.

Let the light in, let the light in fully before the day goes. Let joy find you and have hope: this is all a part of your growth. And when you start to doubt your growth, and you start to doubt your ability to push through these unknowns, just remember: all around the world, people are joining you on this journey. We are all still learning, traveling -  pace by pace. A year from now, we will all look back and see that flowers still bloomed this year. We will all look back and see all of the little places where light continued to find us again and again. You and I have not seen the end, even on our slower, more doubtful and cynical days, let us continue to let the light pour in.

Journal: Where in your life is it hardest to see the light?

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"A desert is a place without expectation." 

– Nadine Gordimer

One day you will look back and see that sometimes the desert was the place where you needed to be. With wide open skies and crumbling rocks at your feet, withering trees and rising heat. There's something about this open space that reminds you, you are free to trust that you are being shaped here, even if it's not where you thought you'd be.

For learning to be here does not mean that you are forever stuck in this place. It's just that sometimes we learn laughing and in love back in the city - and sometimes we learn out in the wide open, quiet space, where all we can do is listen and learn to let go of our expectations. And perhaps as our expectations begin to slowly slip away, we will make room for new ones. We will realize that even though we have lost beautiful things, we can still hope for what could be.

For out here in the whistling winds, we are still alive and we are still free. We are free because now, out here,  we have nothing to lose. For we have already learned what it means to say goodbye in this life. And we have already learned how, when, and where to move on.

And we may not have expected to land in the desert. But we have been prepared for moments like this. We have been prepared to exist in a space like this. So give yourself some credit. Yes, the desert is wildly unknown. Yes, there have been nights where you have felt far from home, and this is also true: this is wide open space. Feel the possibility of what could be. Feel the piping winds of grace.

Journal: What expectations are you slowly learning to let go of right now?

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"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder."
- Rumi

Whenever you start to feel that you need to say more, do more, be more - remember the power of patience. Remember that wisdom takes years to cultivate, and oftentimes even decades. In other words, it's okay if you can't find the right words to say. It's okay if you don't know right away how you feel about something. You may feel like the entire world is demanding an answer - demanding a response. And at the same time, you are free to give a full bodied “no”.

You are free to inhale, exhale, and let it go. And in that letting go you will find you have just a little bit more time to actually focus on the things that bring life. You will find that in the silence, in the space where you felt so pressured to speak and have the right words to say, that there is room to listen, to study, and to take time to take things in. To grow in wisdom. Wisdom that takes time. Wisdom that is not based on in the moment reactions.

So whatever words you need to say, let them find you in the rain. Drop by drop, falling to the ground. Notice the gentle aliveness in their sound. There is no need to fear what is quieter or slower to come to life. Even if it means there will be some people who think less of you if you are slower to speak or not so quick to act. Even then it is worth it to spend some time raising your words. Letting those words slowly rise up within you. Letting wisdom find you slowly and gracefully through the days, months, years, and decades. Let the gentle yet consistent sound of rain remind you it is okay if it takes time to find the words to say.

Journal: What does “raise your words, not your voice” mean to you?

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“No matter what all your teeth and wet fingers anticipated, there was no accounting for the way that simple joy could shake you.” 

— Toni Morrison, Beloved

When you start to feel the joy you haven't felt in the longest time - even if it's fleeting - allow yourself to smile fully and widely. It is far too easy to feel like you are not worthy of feeling good, of feeling joy. Who are we to feel good, when so much is still wrong?

But here's the thing we have to remember: we are allowed to hold both sorrow and joy at the same time. And if the joy starts to feel a little bit heavier and a little bit closer than usual, and it starts to spread wide into a smile across your face, and you cannot hold it back - allow it. Welcome it with open arms and an open heart.

You don't have to ask joy any questions. You are free to let joy just be. Whether it's a childhood memory mixed with a little nostalgia, a moment of laughter when you aren't even sure if it was supposed to be funny. And when joy looks like hope rising up over the horizon, causing you to breathe deep with anticipation for what's to come. When the cynicism hasn't caught up yet, let joy run. Let joy run wild and free over everything you are feeling. Even in the unknown, even in the uncertainty, joy - even in its flickers - can still be healing. The light pouring in on the autumn leaves,  the song that reminds you you are still free to believe in tomorrow. You have felt the full weight of sorrow. Allow yourself to feel the full weight of joy.

Journal: When was the last time you experienced unexpected joy?

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Now more than ever, may we remember how far we have come. We have seen many things change this year, and we also have hope for the morning sun. And under that morning sun, there will still be work that needs to be done. But we will not work alone. We will work together. We will heal together.

And if you have ever made it through seasons that you never imagined you would make it through, you know that healing is a journey. You know, that is anything but easy. And you also know this: through it all, you are free to keep breathing through, day by day, step by step, knowing that even when it doesn't feel like it, this too is progress.

So give energy where you need to give energy and rest where you need to rest. For we have come so far and we are still not finished yet. There will be many mountains that meet us in the distance, and grace will meet us too. And we will realize that even when it feels difficult, we will still make it through together.

If ever you start to doubt that this is possible, remember the times in your own life where it seemed impossible to make it through. Remember the songs that spoke to you. Remember the prayers, the journal entries. Remember all of the things that came out of you. And even though you didn't get the answer right away, and it didn't fix itself right away, you still continue to travel day by day. You made it another month. You made it another year. You made it another decade. Remember all of this. Let it be a reminder that now is not the time to give up. Now is the time to breathe deep and trust. There is so much more ahead of us.

Journal: What is your hope for your family? And what is your hope for your community?

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You and I have heard many times: the importance and the value of love. However, we must remember that love is not passive.

Love seeks justice. Love seeks reconciliation. Love seeks healing. And because of this, love is anything but easy. Love is more than just smiling and being kind and agreeing to disagree. Love is radical. Love changes things. Love challenges our ideas, and challenges us to let go of old ideas. And whether we are learning to show love to a family member, a friend, a co-worker, a partner, a stranger - we must remember that sometimes love looks like a long road ahead.

Love looks like patience. Love looks like listening. And when we listen, we gain understanding - and maybe not total understanding - but we gain understanding about where our boundaries are, we gain understanding about the work that we need to do. So perhaps even when we are giving love, we are also learning about ourselves.

We are learning that even amidst the tension, it is still possible to be present. When we give love, we are reminded of love's abundance. That even when we extend kindness, patience, acceptance, belonging to others and it is not received and it is not returned - love still goes on. Love is still greater than any fear, any ounce of shame, guilt, or doubt. And amidst all that is still unknown, that is worth taking at least one deep breath for. One deep breath to be reminded that there is no shortage of opportunities to grow deeper into love. Even when you have known heartbreak - even when you have been abandoned by those who are supposed to love you - there is still room on the landscape for you to know love in other places. Love will continue to find you, and opportunities to extend love will continue to find you too.

Journal: What do you think is missing from conversations about love?

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Sometimes the unknowns cause us to feel far from home. The uncertainty feels like a big, blue sea that we can never fully comprehend or understand. And at the same time - whatever the great unknown is - is something we cannot avoid. In one way or another, we are all waiting for something. Some are waiting for answers for their health. Others are waiting to feel at peace after a season of unrest. Some are waiting to find a sense of belonging, and a meaningful relationship.

And if you have been waiting for a while, you may feel like the deep blue sea of uncertainty is pulling you further into the abyss every day. Every time you try to swim up to the surface, you're exhausted, inevitably, and you sink back down again. The great unknown of it all is impossible to ignore. Questions about the future bang  at the door of your heart. You're trying to fight your way up to the surface and into clarity.

If it feels that way internally, take a deep breath, and take a moment to reflect on something unknown that draws you in in a peaceful way. For some it might be the night sky. For others, it might be the forest, the mountains, or the ocean shore. As you hold this image in your mind, think about how this place makes you feel. Do you feel at peace? Do you feel just a little bit free to forget your worries for a minute and be present in the moment? Being drawn to a beautiful place is about so much more than the aesthetics. A landscape is so much more than its photographic value. A landscape that is bigger than us as a way to remember that yes - we will face things in this life that are bigger than us, but we can still be fully present, despite them. We can still see what's beautiful about the space we are in, even though we have yet to know every tree, every star, or every wave. The ground beneath our feet is still steady. We are still free to know home even when we feel alone.

There's a reason why ocean shores around the world are lined with beach homes. There's a reason why window seats on planes are coveted spots for excited travelers. We are drawn to the concept of more at the core of our being. We are drawn to what is greater than us. Remember this when the unknowns are too much to bear. Keep breathing through. Hold on to what is greater than you.

Journal: Other than where you live, where do you feel the most at home?

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So much has changed since November of last year. And your anxious heart is asking: where do we go from here? How do we find space to grieve what was, while still hoping for better outcomes? Is there still time? Is there still space before everyone graduates, and we all move away?

Perhaps even here, you can trust. Even when you do not ask for things to change, you can still look back and be proud of every beautiful connection you made. For even the beautiful things we don't get to take with us still shape us in meaningful ways. So take heart and know what you are feeling is real, and it is okay if it takes time to heal, as you uncover what friendship will look like in this season.

You may feel uneasiness, and you may feel new questions rising up like fire within you. You may struggle to ask them for fear of how they will be received. But even then, you are free to believe even without the answers, your heart is longing for. The bond you shared mattered, even when it does not lead to more. Take heart. Lean into peace, knowing you have done so many things to maintain these connections and make them the best they can be. If it's time to move on, it will take a lot to be strong. But you will get where you're going, landing where you belong. You will leave some things behind, but your heart will heal with time. You will be proud of the new connections that were made. Even when everyone moves away, you will continue to connect deeply and meaningfully through the years . You will be okay. You will be okay.

Journal: Have you experienced a change in friendship this year? What lessons has it taught you?

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No matter where your mind or your heart is right now, within your body, there is still room to exhale. Exhale knowing that this exact moment, you are free to be still and not do a single thing. Even if it's just for a moment, you are free to simply be. And I recognize that it might not seem like enough. And in a sense, this is true, because breathing does not change the nature of the unknowns that surround you. But taking the time to mindfully inhale and exhale is a slow, yet meaningful way of coming down from anxiety into remembering the ground beneath your feet.

The ground beneath your feet may not feel as steady as you want it to be. And there is nothing wrong with addressing the sense of shakiness that you may feel. But even here, may you never take for granted even the smallest glimpse of steadiness. And may you continue to have gratitude for the smallest signs of progress.

Again, in the moment, it may not feel like very much. At the very same time: you are free to breathe deep and trust that there is still more ahead of you beyond what you can see. When you find that that is hard to believe, slow down, and remember the ground beneath your feet. For it is right here on the ground where we are reminded that we are not able to escape the reality and the weight of gravity. And at the same time, we are here and we are connected. We can't always see how but we are connected. When the ground shakes, it will shake for all of us, and we will all be reminded that we must trust. We must trust beyond what is seen. And we must trust that it matters to take a mindful moment, even in attention, even in the chaos to breathe.

Journal: How has your breathing been over the past 24 hours? Is there anything you'd like to change?

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