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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Paperback – January 29, 2013
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“Superbly researched, deeply insightful, and a fascinating read, Quiet is an indispensable resource for anyone who wants to understand the gifts of the introverted half of the population.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project
NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY People • O: The Oprah Magazine • Christian Science Monitor • Inc. • Library Journal • Kirkus Reviews
What are the advantages of being an introvert? They make up at least one-third of the people we know. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over working in teams. It is to introverts—Rosa Parks, Chopin, Dr. Seuss, Steve Wozniak—that we owe many of the great contributions to society.
In Quiet, Susan Cain argues that we dramatically undervalue introverts and shows how much we lose in doing so. She charts the rise of the Extrovert Ideal throughout the twentieth century and explores how deeply it has come to permeate our culture. She also introduces us to successful introverts—from a witty, high-octane public speaker who recharges in solitude after his talks, to a record-breaking salesman who quietly taps into the power of questions. Passionately argued, impeccably researched, and filled with indelible stories of real people, Quiet has the power to permanently change how you see yourself.
Now with Extra Libris material, including a reader’s guide and bonus content
- Print length368 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCrown
- Publication dateJanuary 29, 2013
- Dimensions5.15 x 0.98 x 7.96 inches
- ISBN-100307352153
- ISBN-13978-0307352156
- Lexile measure1170L
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The author of the book Quiet reveals the power of a bittersweet outlook on life, and why we’ve been so blind to its value. | Harness your hidden talents, empower communication at home and at work, and nurture your best self with this guided journal based on book Quiet. |
Editorial Reviews
Review
“Cain offers a wealth of useful advice for teachers and parents of introverts. . . . Quiet should interest anyone who cares about how people think, work, and get along, or wonders why the guy in the next cubicle acts that way. It should be required reading for introverts (or their parents) who could use a boost to their self-esteem.”—Fortune
“A rich, intelligent book . . . enlightening.”—The Wall Street Journal
“Charm and charisma may be one beau ideal, but backed by first-rate research and her usual savvy, Cain makes a convincing case for the benefits of reserve.”—Harper’s Bazaar
“A smart, lively book about the value of silence and solitude that makes you want to shout from the rooftops. Quiet is an engaging and insightful look into the hearts and minds of those who change the world instead of tweeting about it.”—Daniel Gilbert, professor of psychology, Harvard University, author of Stumbling on Happiness
“As an introvert often called upon to behave like an extrovert, I found the information in this book revealing and helpful. Drawing on neuroscientific research and many case reports, Susan Cain explains the advantages and potentials of introversion and of being quiet in a noisy world.”—Andrew Weil, author of Healthy Aging and Spontaneous Happiness
“Those who value a quiet, reflective life will feel a burden lifting from their shoulders as they read Susan Cain’s eloquent and well documented paean to introversion—and will no longer feel guilty or inferior for having made the better choice!”—Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of Flow and Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management, Claremont Graduate University
“Susan Cain has done a superb job of sifting through decades of complex research on introversion, extroversion, and sensitivity—this book will be a boon for the many highly sensitive people who are also introverts.”—Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person
“Quiet legitimizes and even celebrates the ‘niche’ that represents half the people in the world.”—Guy Kawasaki, author of Enchantment: The Art of Changing Hearts, Minds, and Actions
“Susan Cain is the definer of a new and valuable paradigm. In this moving and original argument, she makes the case that we are losing immense reserves of talent and vision because of our culture’s overvaluation of extroversion. A startling, important, and readable page-turner that will make quiet people see themselves in a whole new light.”—Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth
“Quiet elevates the conversation about introverts in our outwardly-oriented society to new heights. I think that many introverts will discover that, even though they didn’t know it, they have been waiting for this book all their lives.”—Adam S. McHugh, author of Introverts in the Church
“Gentle is powerful . . . Solitude is socially productive . . . These important counter-intuitive ideas are among the many reasons to take Quiet to a quiet corner and absorb its brilliant, thought-provoking message.”—Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Harvard Business School professor, author of Think Outside the Building
“Memo to all you glad-handing, back-slapping, brainstorming masters of the universe out there: Stop networking and talking for a minute and read this book. In Quiet, Susan Cain does an eloquent and powerful job of extolling the virtues of the listeners and the thinkers—the reflective introverts of the world who appreciate that hard problems demand careful thought and who understand that it’s a good idea to know what you want to say before you open your mouth.”—Barry Schwartz, author of The Paradox of Choice
“An intriguing and potentially life-altering examination of the human psyche that is sure to benefit both introverts and extroverts alike.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)
“Cain gives excellent portraits of a number of introverts and shatters misconceptions. Cain consistently holds the reader’s interest by presenting individual profiles, looking at places dominated by extroverts (Harvard Business School) and introverts (a West Coast retreat center), and reporting on the latest studies. Her diligence, research, and passion for this important topic has richly paid off.”—Publishers Weekly
“This book is a pleasure to read and will make introverts and extroverts alike think twice about the best ways to be themselves and interact with differing personality types.”—Library Journal
“An intelligent and often surprising look at what makes us who we are.”—Booklist
About the Author
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
If these statistics surprise you, that’s probably because so many people pretend to be extroverts. Closet introverts pass undetected on playgrounds, in high school locker rooms, and in the corridors of corporate America. Some fool even themselves, until some life event—a layoff, an empty nest, an inheritance that frees them to spend time as they like—jolts them into taking stock of their true natures. You have only to raise the subject of this book with your friends and acquaintances to find that the most unlikely people consider themselves introverts.
It makes sense that so many introverts hide even from themselves. We live with a value system that I call the Extrovert Ideal—the omnipresent belief that the ideal self is gregarious, alpha, and comfortable in the spotlight. The archetypal extrovert prefers action to contemplation, risk-taking to heed-taking, certainty to doubt. He favors quick decisions, even at the risk of being wrong. She works well in teams and socializes in groups. We like to think that we value individuality, but all too often we admire one type of individual—the kind who’s comfortable “putting himself out there.” Sure, we allow technologically gifted loners who launch companies in garages to have any personality they please, but they are the exceptions, not the rule, and our tolerance extends mainly to those who get fabulously wealthy or hold the promise of doing so.
Introversion—along with its cousins sensitivity, seriousness, and shyness—is now a second-class personality trait, somewhere between a disappointment and a pathology. Introverts living under the Extrovert Ideal are like women in a man’s world, discounted because of a trait that goes to the core of who they are. Extroversion is an enormously appealing personality style, but we’ve turned it into an oppressive standard to which most of us feel we must conform.
The Extrovert Ideal has been documented in many studies, though this research has never been grouped under a single name. Talkative people, for example, are rated as smarter, better-looking, more interesting, and more desirable as friends. Velocity of speech counts as well as volume: we rank fast talkers as more competent and likable than slow ones. The same dynamics apply in groups, where research shows that the voluble are considered smarter than the reticent—even though there’s zero correlation between the gift of gab and good ideas. Even the word introvert is stigmatized—one informal study, by psychologist Laurie Helgoe, found that introverts described their own physical appearance in vivid language ( “green-blue eyes,” “exotic,” “high cheekbones”), but when asked to describe generic introverts they drew a bland and distasteful picture (“ungainly,” “neutral colors,” “skin problems”).
But we make a grave mistake to embrace the Extrovert Ideal so unthinkingly. Some of our greatest ideas, art, and inventions—from the theory of evolution to van Gogh’s sunflowers to the personal computer—came from quiet and cerebral people who knew how to tune in to their inner worlds and the treasures to be found there.
Product details
- Publisher : Crown; 0 edition (January 29, 2013)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 0307352153
- ISBN-13 : 978-0307352156
- Lexile measure : 1170L
- Item Weight : 11.2 ounces
- Dimensions : 5.15 x 0.98 x 7.96 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,427 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the author
SUSAN CAIN is the author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, and BITTERSWEET: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole. She has spent the last twenty years exploring a particular realm of human nature: the quiet, the sensitive, the thoughtful, the bittersweet. It has always seemed clear to her - and to her millions of readers - that this way of being can lead to a richer, deeper form of happiness. Susan’s books have been translated into 40+ languages, and her record-smashing TED talks have been viewed over 50 million times on TED and YouTube combined. Susan is the host of the Audible series, A QUIET LIFE IN SEVEN STEPS, and the QUIET LIFE online community. Join her on Substack at TheQuietLife dot net.
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Customers find the writing style fluid, provocative, and easy to read. They also say the book helps them understand introverts and provides a great look into their lives. Readers also appreciate the depth of ideas, saying the points are well researched, valid, and life-altering. Opinions are mixed on the tone, with some finding it inner joy and comfortable with their feelings, while others find it boring.
AI-generated from the text of customer reviews
Customers find the book's points well researched, valid, and impactful. They also appreciate the great examples and mention the book is compelling and helpful. Readers mention that it covers in detail a lot of specifics concerning how to better understand yourself. They say it's the clearest and most practical of the works focused on the topic.
"...The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt..." Read more
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...in environments favorable to your own personality—neither overstimulating nor under-stimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making...." Read more
"...Function well without sleep (pg. 3)Good at negotiating because their mild-mannered disposition allows them to take strong/aggressive positions..." Read more
Customers find the book very readable, interesting, and easy to read. They also appreciate the author's conversational writing style and the attractive cover. Readers also mention that the book is an easy, gentle, and reassuring read.
"...This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography...." Read more
"...It's absolutely beautiful. So much so that it ought to inspire every reader to analyze their own lives and become better, well rounded individuals...." Read more
"...As a result, most like-minded introverts will find Quiet to be an easy, gentle, and reassuring read...." Read more
"...It was impeccably researched, entertaining and lovingly written, though I was often distracted by Cain's deliberately broad use of the word "..." Read more
Customers find the book helpful for understanding introverts in their lives. They also say it helps them understand that it's okay to be themselves and feel the way they do.
"...the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do...." Read more
"...My favorite thing about this book was how it showed that introverts have strengths just by being who they naturally are...." Read more
"...An encouraging read for this introvert, and I think it would also be useful for those with introverts in their lives (as spouses, coworkers, etc.)..." Read more
"...2. Introverts are creative and prefer to be alone and focus on one task at a time.3...." Read more
Customers find the writing style excellent, fluid, and provocative. They also say the book strikes a good mix and tone for the layman, and is well presented.
"...The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get..." Read more
"...Yet despite knowing this about myself, I was astonished by how Quiet illuminated my personality, the personalities of those I knew, and my..." Read more
"A good explanation of quiet people,and the positive contribution they make to others,and themselves" Read more
"...More than a bunch of facts about introverts, Quiet is a fun book too. I liked Cain's conversational writing style...." Read more
Customers find the research credible, accurate, and validating. They also say the author does a great job describing the truth about introverts' life. Customers also say that the book is current and nuanced.
"Susan Cain takes us on an honest, revealing and well-researched journey through arguably the most important factor of the healthy human psyche: the..." Read more
"...of weaving real-life stories and examples through a scientific, evidence -based, well-researched examination into the world of introverts...." Read more
"...As an introvert myself, I found this book both insightful and confirming...." Read more
"...book is really well written and proves again and again to be a credible source...." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the tone of the book. Some find it comforting, approachable, and friendly. Others however, find it boring, repetitive, and convoluted.
"...The last chapter specifically uses too many partial sentences and doesn't wrap things up well...." Read more
"...—neither overstimulating nor under-stimulating, neither boring nor anxiety-making...." Read more
"I found it boring and kind of hard to read and stay focused on it, I didn't bother finishing the book" Read more
"...to be encouraging, I actually found the cumulative effect curiously depressing...." Read more
Customers have mixed opinions about the complexity of the book. Some find it long and complicated, while others say it's not overly complicated or dry. They also say the author did an excellent job putting the book together. However, some customers feel the book is drawn out and tedious at times.
"...Difficult to finish." Read more
"I found this one difficult to get through- written in kind of a dry manner" Read more
"......" Read more
"...interesting but it is often presented so polemically that it becomes hard to follow. And what is the difference between shy and introverted?..." Read more
Customers find the book overly long, too small to read, and slow in pace. They also say it feels like it was cut short and the rest adds little value.
"...I gave it four stars only because it is extremely long, and I found a lot of it tedious to read...." Read more
"...I sometimes felt that the stories could have been shorter, and that the author could have made her points more succinctly...." Read more
"...I found it overly long, hence the 4 star rating - a lot of research and findings are extremely interesting but a little similar...." Read more
"...that a book was written supporting introverts, haha, but it was way too long and had a sagging middle. Difficult to finish." Read more
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I blamed myself - there must be something `wrong with me' because I can't handle the job. I wanted to leave, but thought, if I can't handle this job, how am I going to handle a new job? It'll probably be more of the same. I thought I was just getting soft because I was getting older (I'm in my late 40s).
I've always known I was introverted, but I didn't realize just what all that entailed - I thought it mostly meant `shy' or that I didn't like social settings.
This book taught me more about myself than I've ever known. It read like my biography. Almost every page had a new insight into why I think and feel the way I do. Throughout the book I saw my very own self described in new and empowering ways.
I learned that the job situation I'm currently in - the non-stop deadline demands, interruptions, never being able to work quietly or alone no matter how difficult a project was, phones ringing incessantly, people in my face all day long, etc. - especially when it's work that I actually don't care anything about personally - those are the exact circumstances that trip every one of a strong introvert's triggers. And I was subjecting myself to it 40 hours a week, for months.
It's no wonder I was so miserable and completely exhausted all the time. And as enlightening as it was to learn how many of the traits I've beat myself up for over the years are just a product of my introverted temperament (being highly sensitive, shutting down when subjected to stimulation overload, preferring to think a thing through before I speak - something I never get to do at work, as if it takes me more than 5 seconds to say something, I get interrupted and cut off), the most important thing I got from this book is that it's okay to be myself, it's okay to feel the way I do. There is not something `wrong with me' that I have to `fix.' I am not weak or a failure because I don't feel or behave like my extremely extroverted boss (who thrives in high-energy crisis mode, and is bored unless he's doing 10 things at once - and expects the rest of us to keep up).
And far from it being an age-related `going soft,' what's probably in fact going on is that as I get older, it is becoming increasingly vital to me to be truer to myself.
I also found the information on the history of the "rise of the Culture of Personality" completely fascinating, it really gave me a new insight as to just exactly how we 'grew' this tendency to value extroversion over introversion. It makes so much more sense now.
This book gave me the courage I needed to start taking the steps to fix my work situation. Not only the courage, but the `permission' and the understanding - because I now know there isn't something wrong with me, but instead this is what I need to do to be my best self, and stop killing myself with stress. That I probably can find a place of value in the world by being myself, not trying to force myself to be something I'm not. I know I will meet resistance from my boss (I'd love for him to read this book, but unfortunately I know he won't), and I know I won't instantly fix everything in one day, and that I'll probably always need to be able to stretch myself a bit to do things that are not ideal for me ... but this book taught me that there are ways to make that work, too, if you understand and honor the need for recharging around such tasks, instead of trying to force yourself to do them 8 hours a day with no break. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, in either direction. Basically, I'm not out of the woods yet, but I now see the path out, and I have hope.
I think every introvert should read this book, because it will help you understand why you are who you are, and why that's a beautiful thing, not a character flaw. And I think everyone who knows an introvert should read this book, and quit trying to "fix us."
Which means pretty much the entire country (or world) should read this book. The wealth of information and insights in this book cannot be overstated - especially if you are an introverted type of person who has always felt there was something not quite right about you, or that you somehow needed to change to fit in or succeed. This book will give you back yourself, and in my case, my life. Thank you, Susan Cain, from the bottom of my heart (which is finally beating at a more normal speed because I'm not panicked about going to work for the first time in months).
Edited 11-13-14: It worked! I'm now working half-days at the office and half-days at home, and in a few weeks will transition to working from home full time. I never imagined that could happen. It's amazing what becomes possible when you finally realize you deserve what you already knew you needed.
Its that good.
I will admit that I would consider myself an introvert and as such may have a certain bias for such a book that promotes the value of the introvert personality as this book so does. I would also like to point out that the author is also a self-proclaimed introvert and will have the same kind of bias toward introversion hence why she would write a book on the topic. Those 2 points being made lets dive into it.
Part one of the book is designed to set the stage so to speak. She introduces the terminologies of introversion/extroversion in the introduction and explains how she will use the two terms throughout the rest of the book. Its pretty straightforward and easy to understand. To be honest the average individual probably understands and uses the two terms just as she does but its always good to start a serious discussion (I consider this book pretty close to a giant discussion of ideas and principles between reader and author) with a common understanding of terms in order to avoid misunderstandings. I will be clear that here is when things get boiled down to the simple extrovert vs introvert argument. It may seem overly simple and stereotypical to pigeonhole someone as one of these classes but for the sake of discussion it makes things much easier and she makes that distinction clear that most people are not as black and white as introvert vs extrovert yet more of a blend of the two. But once again for the sake of discussion the basic introvert vs extrovert is outlined and defined
After that she dives into how today's society has evolved into an "extrovert" society. She spends a solid 3 chapters just on establishing how things have grown and evolved ever since the early 1900s. For example, she highlights how today's culture thrives around the bold, outspoken, extrovert of an individual. Look around at any collection of celebrities and count how many are the prototypical "extrovert". The ideal person is outgoing, friendly, loud, charismatic, and charming, certainly not qualities that your average introvert posses and as such get put down for. As an introvert I couldn't help myself from falling in love with her points because all my life I had lived through the EXACT same scenarios she used. Over and over I found myself saying yes, that is me. Yes, that is me. YES! All those times where I would have much preferred to read instead of go to a party or be by myself as opposed to surrounded by people. Before I understood that it was a fault. That my shyness was a weakness to overcome. So literally ALL my life I struggled to fit into what I never was destined to be. Now that I read the book I understand that I had a certain understanding of what she deems "the extrovert ideal" but had never really grasped it until now. I just always felt like something was wrong with me and that I had to change but she really opened to my eyes to understand that there never was anything wrong with me its just that society is built to cater to the extroverted person. I will confess as well that I often caught myself feeling a sense of justified anger as she made subtle jabs at the extrovert ideal and acknowledged the positives of the introvert way of doing things. For the first time in my life I felt someone understood me and was back-talking the system that held me down. So, even as an introvert I must say that this first section of the book may come across as offensive to the extrovert reader. She definitely vents a little as she describes the rise of the extrovert and putting down of the introvert like herself. By the time I got to the third chapter I was actually getting tired of the constant bombardment toward extroverts (she slams Harvard and the general ivy league system of education) and puffing up of the introvert personality.
Right then is where she switches gears and you get a fresh breath of air. Having established the extremes on both sides of the scale she begins to fill in the middle. This is where she really shines. She starts off by including a chapter to help you identify which extreme you lean toward naturally and then goes on to how you can adapt. She explains how/why one extreme can and should take on qualities of the opposite extreme. For example, she highlights how introverts are naturally terrible at public speaking but can overcome it and infuse a little of extroversion into their personality. So just by reading part one you would think she doesn't care for balance but here is where she really advocates and highlights that each extreme has its place. Its our duty to acknowledge which one we are and then learn how to adapt when the situation needs it. It's absolutely beautiful. So much so that it ought to inspire every reader to analyze their own lives and become better, well rounded individuals. She argues the point that the wall street crash was due to an imbalance of personality extremes in the high level management of banking for example. Joining the major themes from part one and two she illustrates how the extrovert ideal riddled management to the point where everyone was bold and more eager to take risks than sit down and ponder outcomes like an introvert would have done. So the extrovert ideal took over and made risks to great that introversion would have kept in check were it allowed to be there. She makes it very clear that the two extremes need each other. She uses numerous other examples (She uses a lot of married couples) to illustrate the need for introverts to keep the extroverts from going off the deep end and how the introverts need the extroverts to get them off the ground and alive.
That naturally leads into parts three and four. These deal with how the two sides can treat other better to fulfill this ideal balance of personalities. This is where the rubber hits the road so to speak. She spent all of the previous pages explaining the theory. The how each personality behaves, and the how each one responds, and how each one is suited for certain scenarios. But here is where she has suggestions on how you can use that knowledge in everyday life to enhance your relationships with your spouse, family, kids, coworkers, and fellow man.
The more I think about the concept of introversion and extroversion I cant help but acknowledge how the vast majority of social issues and problems stem from the simple, often misunderstood differences in each extreme. Introversion/extroversion is literally the base of how we act and what we say in just about every scenario. I am absolutely fascinated by how much life revolves around these two ideals. I'm grateful she has opened my eyes to the importance of such a topic. If everyone could understand this better then the world would be a much better place. I can't emphasize that enough. This book will change your life if you willing to sacrifice the time to read it.
Top reviews from other countries
The book is well researched and written with great examples.
I think all of us who think we're introverted (and those who think they're extroverted) would greatly benefit from reading this.