on my way home last night I stopped to buy gas and realized that my fuel door was almost completely covered in ice and frozen shut so I did the logical thing and crouched down and lifted my shirt and pressed my naked belly against it until it melted

Naked belly is most logical! Your body will always divert heat to keep it warm, whereas hands are an extremity that may be neglected. And your ass has way more fat and way less circulation and it will just get. SO COLD. and take forever to get warm even when you’re back in your toasty car. So you can take pride in using your brood patch!

yeah but given my height and the position required it did sort of look like I was fucking my car, is the thing

What’s not to get? You never seen a guy with a brood patch before?

y. you’re deactivated. how are you posting from the grave

I have unfinished business here

Achievement unlocked!

Settling a score

You can’t heat up your car like this now, you’re dead :[

eat it

eat it

Achievement unlocked!

Eat it

Hold down “E” to consume!

call out post

HELLO??? IS ANYONE THERE????????

Achievement unlocked!

Hello world!

Is anyone there..?

Had a dream last night where I was inactive for like a week and in that time, several achivement-unlocked blogs sprung up with various amounts of achievements: like achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked and so on / so forth.

I was then tagged in a post fighting for my legacy as an achievement blog and had to choose one

-_-

Achievement unlocked!

-_-

—__—

Had a dream last night where I was inactive for like a week and in that time, several achivement-unlocked blogs sprung up with various amounts of achievements: like achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked and so on / so forth.

I was then tagged in a post fighting for my legacy as an achievement blog and had to choose one

You dreamt @rat-detector 's reality

Gods please help me, there’s like 8 of them detecting eachother, there’s an evil version, there’s a rat eliminator, there’s a bunch of [Blank]-Detector blogs.

This community is so weird but fun. I love it here, I love you all, but you’re all so weird.

Achievement unlocked!

A rat infestation

aa fuck. Do I gotta call the exterminator now?

Had a dream last night where I was inactive for like a week and in that time, several achivement-unlocked blogs sprung up with various amounts of achievements: like achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked, achivement-achivement-achivement-achivement-unlocked and so on / so forth.

I was then tagged in a post fighting for my legacy as an achievement blog and had to choose one

It wasn't a dream.

on hold with the pest control company for work, and their hold message seriously just hit me with

"did you know there are a million ants for every human on earth? someone will be with you shortly"

Achievement unlocked!

One in a million

That bites…

@pointless-achievements, is it ok if I make a gimmick blog like yours? I wanted to ask for permission beforehand bcs its rude to steal gimmicks

*looks towards @gimmick-thief 🤨* (this part is just a joke sorry if its rude)

There's already like. Five of us.

And I'm basically just a semi-ripoff of @dailyquests anyway LMAO.

There's nothing new under the sun, do what you like. 👍

Achievement unlocked!

Peering into the abyss

And if you look long enough… you too may become an achievement in itself

makes you experience a placebo effect

Achievement unlocked!

Shrodinger’s effect

Did a status effect occur? Or not?

Achievement unlocked!

Hey, that’s my line!

Maybe I should open the askbox….

the Two Trees, who shared with us their ancient light before the stars were brought down to light our scrolls from behind

Achievement unlocked!

Light of an old era

Two vast and trunkless legs of plastic and machinery stand in the old closets and bins of their owners….

No fucking way I found my little rubber fetus

Your hwat

When I was like 7 I got this little rubber fetus that was being handed out by pro-life people at a concert. For like 10 years he was my stress ball I would chew on him or throw him at the wall and watch him bounce around. But he started to decay so put him in this prescription bottle and now I just pretend he's a test tube baby

Ok.

Achievement unlocked!

Rubbery made horrors

Very normal behavior being displayed here

Achievement unlocked!

If the moon is so good then where’s moon 2-

HOLY SHITTTTT

stop calling me "my fragile little flower" or "my beautiful delicate pet" im literally going for a glass cannon build. i can one shot most adults

no . wait . come back im sorry. im your fragile little flower and there is a scary man charging up a beam to turn my beautiful fragile petals into ash

Achievement unlocked!

Flying too far from the sun

Whether it’s you or them- someone’s getting turned to glass