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GathofBaal
Reviews
House of 1000 Corpses (2003)
IF OLIVER STONE DIRECTED TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
Like every other self-respecting horror fiend, I've been salivating for three years waiting for Rob's debut. I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED! The most fun I've had at the movies in a loooong time. Sid Haig, Karen Black, Bill Mosely and the lucious Sheri Moon. What a cast! Rob's manic direction fits the material, and while not as bloody as hoped (it is only R), it delivers in every department. Good music, sexy girls, blood, solid direction, great sets, and a wicked sense of humor. What more do you want in a horror film? Very funny, extremely entertaining. Can't wait for the DVD, and Rob's next picture.
Faces of Gore 2 (2000)
More of the Same
Nothing special here, after a few viewings it loses it attraction. Only get if you have some weak-stomached friends you'd like to horrify. The narrator is amusing, and some of the footage is worth a rewind or two, but it only appeals to die hard Real Death fans.
Faces of Gore (1999)
Rather Routine
Unlike it's counterpart Traces of Death, this does not contain actual footage of death, but rather is a collection of gruesome "Aftermath" footage, mainly imported from Japan. A showcase of mangled accident and murder victims and suicides, it's very graphic and gory, but the novelty wears off rather quickly. Some humor is added by the goofy narrator, who makes inappropriate comments about the victims, and by the addition of ridiculous "Squishy" sound effects whenever a body is moved. For only the most die hard Real Death fans.
An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe (1970)
Highly Entertaining
Originally aired on television, I caught it recently on AMC. Price is fantastic, as he enacts four Poe tales, alone. With just him and a small set, he manages to engross you completely in the tales he tells. A true testament to his ability as an actor and his superb storytelling skills. Highly recommended.
Dahmer (2002)
Too Restrained
While well acted and directed, it's misleading. Those fascinated by crime or expecting a docudrama about the infamous serial killer will be disappointed. Although some scenes are very accurate, the film seems too restrained, Bright is holding back. Several key facts about Dahmer are omitted or glossed over. Dahmer's dissection of animals as a child, the acid vats, the cannibalism. The more gruesome aspects are ignored, leaving one with an incomplete picture. As a dark character study of a disturbed man, it works. As a biopic of Dahmer, it fails. If Bright didn't want to tell the whole story he shouldn't have done this. Those interested in serial killers should rent the wonderful Ted Bundy instead.
The Convent (2000)
Gory Fun
A slasher flick with a sense of humor. Typical plot, a group of annoying teens decide to screw and smoke dope in a condemned catholic school where, of course, a massacre took place 40 years ago. The thing that makes this stand out from the pack is the tongue in cheek sense of fun. The most entertaining aspect is a hilarious "Cult" of wannabe Satanists who unwittingly unleash demons. After one flick after another full of dark, sinister and mysteriously hooded Devil Worshippers, the inept and moronic cult here is a breath of fresh air. Mike's choice of neon blacklights and glow in the dark makeup is cool to look at, and the gore is plentiful. Cult icon Adrienne Barbeau even appears packing an arsenal for the bloody finale. Sure, it's loaded with cliches, and some of the direction is irritating ( i.e. the sped up motion of the demons), but it succeeds as a fun, humorous and entertaining timekiller.
Alfred Packer: The Musical (1993)
The Greatest Musical About Cannibalism Ever Made!
God bless Troma for giving us this gem from Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Ultra low budget "True" account of Alferd Packer. Well acted considering, with wonderfully catchy songs. Ludicrous to the extreme, with Asian "Indians" wielding samurai swords, a gang of trappers reminiscent of West Side Story, a confederate Cyclops, tap dancing in the snow, Dian Bachar jiggling his keys, and some of the most ridiculous and unconvincing beards ever put to film. You WILL be using Spadoinkle in every day conversation after you see this. I only wish someone would release the songs on CD. If you even remotely enjoy the film do yourself a favor and pick up the DVD, the commentary is the funniest and most entertaining I've heard, knocking Evil Dead II from the top spot. Sidesplitting.
Tai tin hang dou: Saat hing (1994)
Mediocre Shocker
Billy Tang is a great director, but this is nowhere near his classic Red To Kill or even Dr Lamb. Stars Cat. III regulars Lily Chung, Ka-Kui Ho and Money Lo. Gorehounds will be disappointed, while packed with soft core sex, there is no violence until the end. Ka-Kui Ho plays a sleazy criminal, who routinely terrorizes his family when not in prison. He burns his son with cigarettes, robs his mother, rapes his wife, and even attempts to rape his adopted brother's girlfriend. The brother can finally stand no more and attacks him in the bloody finale. Well directed, but very slow and uninvolving. Lacks the energy of Tang's other films. Worth a watch, but don't buy it.
Yeuk saat (1994)
Excellent Exploitation
I've seen quite a few of Billy Tang's films, and I must say this is the best. The direction is great, Tang's penchant for blue lighting works perfectly with the material. Lily Chung plays a retarded girl who is sent to a home after the death of her father. Ben Ng plays the mild mannered director, who happens to be a psychotic killer and rapist, his violent impulses triggered by the color red. This is an awesome performance, ranking as one of the most entertaining film loony's I've ever seen (and that's no small number). While bleak, there is also plenty of humor, some unintentional, due to the poorly translated subtitles ("Crash your penis, cut it to make soup!"). Fans of HK horror will love this.
Luther the Geek (1989)
Bizarre Gem
Odd, original and entertaining horror. The film concerns the disturbed Luther, who witnessed a Geek perform as a child and also lost his teeth. Eventually the weirdo kill numerous chickens and 3 people, and is incarcerated for 25 years. Paroled, the first thing he does is tear an "old" woman's throat out with his homemade metal dentures and escape to the country to terrorize a woman and her daughter. He never speaks, clucking and behaving like a chicken. Surprisingly well acted, with great fx. Despite the unintentional humor provided by what must be the stupidest cop in the state, it's a very well made and interesting film.
The Stepfather (1987)
Great Performance, Bad Script
Terry O'Quinn is excellent here. He has a definite menacing presence, and his subdued behavior around people only heightens the shock of his raging outbursts. However, the mediocre script ruins what could have been a great film. As a character study of O'Quinn, this would have been chilling and effective. But it makes for a mediocre thriller. O'Quinn plays a psychotic man obsessed with perfection, and the ideal "American Dream". Inevitably, his family disappoints him, so he creates a new identity, kills them and moves on. The scenes with Jerry are strong and frightening, but the film becomes formulaic when we're introduced to Jim, who amazingly discovers a vital clue to his whereabouts in a few minutes of poking around. The police missed this? Too many dumb plot points and the predictable finale spoil it. O'Quinn's performance deserved a better film.
The Thing That Couldn't Die (1958)
Entertaining Camp
Very entertaining. A girl with supernatural gifts feels something "Evil" while witching for water. Despite her warnings, her Aunt digs up an old chest, which turns out to contain the severed noggin of a sorceror. He starts controlling people in a quest for his body. They don't make 'em like this anymore. FX are pretty good, a highly enjoyable film.
The Ugly (1997)
One Of My Top Five Favorite Movies.
I have seen thousands of movies, and this is in my top five favorites. I bought the video right after watching it for the first time, and now own the Dvd. I can't recommend this movie highly enough. It is a chilling and tense film, and had me on the edge of my seat several times, something that rarely happens to a jaded moviefreak such as myself. *SPOILER* The bathroom scene following the murder of Julie's brother is extremely well done, and gets me every time. *SPOILERS OVER* I need this soundtrack on CD! The use of music is this film is incredible, and I get goosebumps everytime I hear it. Awesome performances by everyone involved, and unique casting make this a film like no other. The scene where Karen confronts Simon about why he killed all the people he did is masterfully directed, with excellent crosscut editing and constantly moving in and out of focus camera work. Add a great twist ending and you have, in my opinion, one of the best Horror/Thrillers of the 90's, if not ever. Buy It first chance you get. I am of course speaking of the unrated version.
Stuck on You! (1983)
The Worst Movie I Have Ever Seen
My brother rented this movie based solely on the Troma Team Release logo, and because he was in the mood for what he thought would be a goofy and raunchy comedy. Instead we got the lamest,most pathetic piece of garbage we had ever seen. There isn't ONE scene that made us laugh. The "jokes" are the lamest, stupidest and most cliched I have ever seen. This is honestly the worst piece of crap I have ever seen. Troma seems to be one of those hit and miss companies. I loved The Toxic Avenger and Cry Uncle, but hated Igor and the Lunatics, and of course, this trash. DO NOT RENT THIS! You will regret it.
La vergine di Norimberga (1963)
Good Atmosphere
I recently bought this at a video store moving sale for $5. I don't usually buy movies I haven't seen, but it had Christopher Lee in it, so I took the chance. I wasn't disappointed. The atmosphere is cool, lightning, fog, dimly lit castle, you get the idea. Christopher Lee is great as always, and there is some decent gore. Worth renting.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988)
One Of My All Time Favorites
Great! I saw this on a noon movie showing on local tv years ago, but really didn't remember much about it, so when I saw it listed in my tv guide as a two am flick on cable, I set a tape. I LOVED this movie! As a die hard gorehound, I scoffed at the idea of a good PG-13 horror movie, but I ended up liking this more than most of my hardcore gore collection. The costumes and makeup on the Klowns were much better than I expected from a old low budget horror flick, the soundtrack is great, and the story couldn't be cooler(or campier). The popcorn and shadow puppet attacks are hilarious, and the ventriloquist scene is priceless. One of my all time favorites. Highly Recommended! If you love camp, and want a break from the gore, check this out.