How-To Tips From A Lying Dirt Bag

Tip #2: Never lose an opportunity to fabricate a lie out of thin air.
Tip #3: Never ever answer any question with a direct answer.

Example:
Pittsburgh Penguins’ stellar season has earned them a trip to the Stanley Cup finals. The team and Reebok float a plan to hang 40 x 85 ft temporary banners on Downtown skyscrapers to celebrate the championship event. But alas, while the idea is a spectacular one … There’s not enough time to have the banners produced. The team therefore decides to abandon the idea.

The Accusation:
Since the temporary banners are not to code, ask City Council to rescind a sign moratorium they passed to stop construction of the last Downtown (Lamar) sign you illegally approved. Not that these things are remotely related .... They are not. But it is a great opportunity to pull something you want out of thin air. Something you were previously denied.

When Council instead suggests alternative legislation which solves the Penguin banner problem, agree to draft the legislation yourself, knowing you will never do so. When the team cancels the idea because of lack of production time, neglect to tell council. Also neglect to send them the previously agreed-upon resolution that you were never going to send them anyway. You can then lie to the media, blaming council for failure to pass legislation they never received. But most importantly, you can neglect to mention the whole thing was moot since the team had abandoned the idea BEFORE council even got a chance to vote on the legislation you never sent them.

The Proper Dirt-Bag Replies (Listen to audio interview here):
Media: The city solicitor said you couldn’t [hang the signs] because of the Reebok logo. Is that true? Is it against the law to do it because of the Reebok logo?
Luke: "There were concerns surrounding the Reebok logo."
(Note: Luke knows existing code makes the banners illegal because his own solicitor told him so. Yet he fails to say so. He also fails to tell interviewer Fred Honsberger that the whole issue was moot because the Penguins cancelled the idea BEFORE council’s session.)

Media: Would this have just taken a council resolution, just for these temporary signs?
Luke: "I will only tell you that based on the actions council took a couple of weeks ago by passing a (Lamar sign) moratorium, I was not comfortable as the mayor, unilaterally saying this is something that needs to be done …… We gave council the opportunity to lift the (Lamar sign) moratorium, to build unanimous consensus, which I believe by the way could have been done on Tuesday if all nine council members were on board. But unfortunately while some members are very supportive, and perhaps even the majority of the nine-member body, we couldn’t get all nine to sign on and say this is something they want to do."
(Note: Luke was asked about a draft resolution for the Penguin banners, but he instead answers by referring to a Lamar-inspired sign moratorium, tricking Honsberger into thinking these are one and the same pieces of legislation. He also fails to tell Honsberger that even if all nine members had voted unanimously TUESDAY, approving anything and everything the mayor wanted, the banners would still not fly because the Penguins had cancelled the plan on the previous SATURDAY)

Media: So you’re saying a simple resolution would have resolved this problem very expeditiously?
Luke: "I think it would have been very helpful."
(Note: Helpful to whom and for what? The Penguins and their banners which had already been cancelled by the team? No, helpful to lift the Lamar sign moratorium, which was the impetus for this whole embarrassment in the first place.)

Bonus Points Awarded:
Too many to count. As long as the media takes this kid on his word …. which he as proven time and again is worth absolutely nothing …. Luke will continue to easily rack up the bonus points.

Homework Assignment:
Successfully draft a legal opinion which will allow Luke to receive free Stanley Cup tickets for his entire family and 20 of his closest friends. Free hotel, air fare and meals should also be included. Additionally find some way to prohibit at least four members of council from appealing this opinion, citing conflicts of interest and forfeiture of office as the only sanction.

** Completed homework assignments should be sent to Pittsburgh City Solicitor George Specter c/o the Mayor’s Office.

How-To Tips From A Lying Dirt Bag

Tip #1: When being accused of something and you’re caught with your pants down, ignore the accusation at hand and instead vehemently deny something else.

Example:
Councilman Bruce Kraus accuses Mayor Ravenstahl of threatening to gut council’s budget in retaliation for taking away the Administration’s pretty take-home cars.

The Accusation:
The threat to gut council’s budget, and cripple its ability to hire professional aides, Kraus said, was made in an attempt to stop members from voting to reduce the number of city take-home cars from 60 to 29, a move that passed yesterday on a 5-3 vote.

“The mayor came up to me, and his exact words to me were, ‘We’re coming after you,’” Kraus said of the incident.

The Proper Dirt Bag Reply:
“In no way did I physically threaten him, nor did I use the word threat,” Ravenstahl responded.

Analysis:
Notice the expert technique utilized by the mayor in this situation. He indignantly denied “physically threatening” the councilman and also denied even uttering the word “threat.” Both denials are brilliant as the mayor actually did not do either of these things. But (and here is the brilliant part) neither thing was part of the original accusation in the first place!

Bonus Points Awarded:
The words “threat” and “threatening” appear in both the accusation as well as the mayor’s successful denial leading the casual reader to think both parties were actually talking about the same thing.

Homework Assignment:
Successfully deny that a 20x60 sign, lit and powered by electricity, is in fact not an electronic sign.

** Completed homework assignments should be sent to Executive Director Pat Ford c/o the Urban Redevelopment Authority.

It's So Easy To Tell When Ravenstahl Is Lying

Homeland Security SUV Just The Latest Example

His weaving, bobbing, fluttering eyelids and/or lack of direct eye contact when being interviewed are usually all the clues that are needed for one to know when the mayor is lying. But what about those times when he’s interviewed off-camera? Without body language clues to guide us, how can we tell if the mayor is scamming us once again?

Aside from the fact that when Ravenstahl speaks, it usually is a lie ……Still, there are some very simple ways to immediately tell when the boy is dishing out the bull:

If the mayor says he’s “not aware” or “unaware”, that usually means just the opposite:
- Joyriding in Homeland Security SUVs: “Mr. Ravenstahl said he was not aware that the [GMC Yukon] was paid for with federal Homeland Security funds when he was using it for things like business travel to Harrisburg and for his personal use, including a Toby Keith concert in August.”
- Missing the Casino Hearing: “Mr. Ravenstahl said last night that the trip was planned months ago, and until a staff member notified him of the fervor at the meeting Tuesday night, he was unaware the mailer indicated he would be present.”
- Promoting Wife-Beating Cops: “With regard to Charles Rodriguez and Eugene F. Hlavac, as I have said, I was unaware of there being any issues in their background prior to public reports last week.”

If the mayor says he “never intended” or it was “never his intention” to do something, you can bet that was his plan from day one:
- Increasing His Staff While Denying It Will Increase His Budget: "This is just a reorganization," the mayor said. "I want to stress that there is no intention of increasing the mayor's office budget. This will not do that."
- Crashing Tiger Woods: "Once I found that out, and once I was invited, certainly I accepted. But I did not go out there knowing that American Express had the opportunity to go with him that afternoon. That was never my intention. My intention was simply to say hello, welcome him, and spend, you, know, a minute or two with him."
- Blowing Off the North Side to Watch The Red Sox: The mayor’s office tells KDKA Ravenstahl never intended to attend the public meeting on the North Side and that the postcard asking residents to join him was an administrative mistake.
- Blowing Off Domestic Abuse Meeting to Play Golf: "I never intended to go," he said after speaking at a celebration in West Park for the pending redevelopment of the Garden Theater on the North Side.


When the mayor awkwardly inserts the word “myself” into any sentence, alarm bells should immediately go off:
- Hill District Inclusion in Arena Development: "Myself and the county executive have been meeting regularly with the organizations in the Hill District," he said. "We are going to continue to meet with them."
- The Need For Bodyguards When Partying Till 1AM: “There are times when if I do something personal at somebody's home, I'll go with my wife and myself," he said. But if he's out politicking, or grabbing dinner and drinks, he's accompanied.
- Explaining Heinz Field Drunk & Disorderly: "Myself and other individuals in the front were really not even in control of ourselves," he said. "We couldn't control ourselves because of the force from behind.”


And if the mayor doesn’t remember where he was, where or what he ate, where he slept or even how he got there…..
- Blowing off The Hill to Party With Burkle: "Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl hopped a private jet to New York City to have dinner and drinks at a posh Manhattan hotel hours after announcing a $290 million deal to build a new Uptown arena for the Penguins." ..... "When asked about the evening, Ravenstahl said he did not know where he ate." .... "The mayor said he did not remember what part of town he spent the night."

Are we really going to hand this lying Frat Boy the keys to the city? Weren't the keys to the Yukon bad enough?

Something Is Seriously Wrong With Luke Ravenstahl

Ms. Pist has been so overwhelmed with work lately that she’s barely had time to breathe much less keep up with even the summary versions of major developments. Even so, it’s just been too much. These stupid Ravenstahl lies. Ms. Pist may not be able to tolerate hearing one more supid Ravenstahl lie.

All hyperbole aside (and unfortunately I'm not dishing out any) ..... there is some malady at work here. For someone to repeatedly lie when they know they will probably get caught is bad enough. For someone to repeatedly lie when they KNOW FOR CERTAIN there are 8x10 glossies and camera footage available showing them in the midst of that which they are denying.......For someone to repeatedly lie when there are irrefutable records that reporters and others can easily check proving they did what they say they did not do…. This type of behavior is almost beyond description.

It must be one of two things. Luke Ravenstahl has either a mental and/or brain-wiring problem and cannot help himself. Like someone with Tourettes Syndrome. Or Luke Ravenstahl is in some kind of "altered state" whereby he believes himself to be "Master of the Universe" and what we puny little mortals think is of no consequence whatsoever.

Ms. Pist’s bet is on Option #2.

Lastly…… To repeatedly blame your own staff each time you get caught in one of your own amazingly stupid lies is just plain chickenshit.

The Trib Fires Back: Who You Callin’ Yellow?

Even Sophie Masloff Enters the Fray

The Tribune-Review launched a counter-attack against the mayor this morning, obviously in response to Ravenstahl’s charges of “Yellow Journalism” tactics by the newspaper. Today’s front-page salvo chronicles the mayor’s propensity to duck, if not outright lie, when asked tough questions about his many blunderous “misseps.”

This matter-of-fact recap of Ravenstahl’s numerous stupid and/or outrageous escapades was long overdue and much needed. Even so, seeing it laid out in the mainstream press was enough to make even the most jaundiced wince. How could Pittsburgh be so unlucky as to have this kid heaped upon us at a time some would say we can least afford it?

The Trib didn’t just take one punch and let it go. No, an additional article by Richard Gazarik reports on advice given to Luke by area leaders. And then there is the always-sage commentary by Eric Heyl who thinks Luke is a golf addict on the verge of needing an intervention.

If the Trib is just a Yellow Journalist Republican rag, imagine what threats and torture must have been used to extort these comments from “everybody’s grandma” Sophie Masloff and others in the area:

Mayor Sophie Masloff, Pittsburgh Mayor 1988-1994: “ I was the mayor for 24 hours a day – that came ahead of everything else. When I had appointments I couldn’t keep because I went somewhere, I always said where I was, and members of the media checked up on me. That was fine.”

Morton Coleman, aide to former Mayor Joseph Barr and former director of Pitt’s Institute of Politics: “Clearly, Luke’s got to be forthcoming. This is a job that demands transparency, and when he doesn’t do that, it just creates all kinds of problems for him and for everyone else.”

Khari Mosley, PA League of Young Voters board member: “There is a growing contingent of people who are skeptical of the mayor’s leadership.”

David Donahoe, aide to late Mayor Richard Caliguiri: “The [only time Caliguiri hid anything from reporters] was when a reporter learned of his illness before he was ready to tell anyone. I can’t say he got mad, he just realized he had to be forthcoming about it from that point on.”

Kinder, gentler words offering constructive criticism but still acknowledging there is a problem:

Ted Harhai, Monessen Mayor 1998-2002: “Cool it. [snip] He needs to lower his profile and concentrate on the things that need concentrated on.”

Jim Gebicki, Latrobe Mayor 1993-2000: “I don’t think he knew any better. He needs to listen more, talk less. [snip] It’s easy to make a fool of yourself or your community or both.”

The Pist-Gazette begs to differ. Mayor Ravenstahl has worked long and hard and has gone way out of his way to make a fool of himself. Thank God for Yellow Journalist Republican rags like the Tribune-Review who, as it turns out, is nobody’s fool.

It's All Just A Vast Right Wing Conspiracy

Or Maybe The Conspiracy Is On The Left

Or maybe it’s the Fourth Estate (correction compliments of Mark Rauterkus) who is unfairly “targeting” him. Or Peduto. Probably it’s all of them. Probably it’s everywhere. Probably everyone is out to “get” poor Little Luke and bring him down.

On Marty Griffin this morning, Luke launched his counter-attack. He said….

o Jeremy Boren, the Trib and “the Republicans” are just out to “get” him. (Editorial Comment: It's always nice to have one or two Republicans around in the city to scare people with.)

o Jeanne Clark was not speaking for NOW, she was the mouthpiece for Bill Peduto and his interests. It was Bill who gave her talking points before the public hearing.

o His schedule and what he does on a daily basis is not for the consumption of the media. (Editorial Comment: !!!!!)

o UPMC paid his $9,000 golf tab.

o He wondered why Mark DeSantis didn’t attend the public meeting himself if he thought it was so important. (Editorial Comment: A bit of "na-na-na-na-na", don't you think?)

o He never intended to go to the public meeting. No mayors ever attend City Council hearings .... separation of the branches of government and all that. Besides, he was never invited. (Editorial Comment: Not true. A letter requesting his appearance was sent to him by the city clerk. The Women's Commission also requested that he attend.)

o He felt the domestic violence issue was so important, he met privately with many women's groups prior to the public meeting.

o If he had “skipped” a meeting where he was supposed to be just to play golf …. “Well then, yea, you got me,” he blustered. (Editorial Comment: Is he referring to situations like the one where he blew off his meeting with The Hill just so he could drink and party in NYC? Oh wait, that was skipping an official meeting to “drink and party” NOT to “play golf.” I’m sure there is a hair-splitting difference there somewhere.)

Marty also spoke to Mark DeSantis and Jeanne Clark who offered their comments:

o Jeanne Clark said she’s not a “mouthpiece” for her husband, nor her son and certainly not for Bill Peduto or any other man. She said NOW is presently talking to attorneys discussing their options. She also said she was never "invited" to his private meeting and it was made clear to her that this was an "invitation only" event.

o Mark DeSantis just laughed. Yes, he reminded Luke that Mark DeSantis was not the mayor … Luke Ravenstahl was! And then he continued to laugh out loud.

Griffin himself chimed in saying that both Luke and his office have repeatedly lied to him. Marty was first told Luke didn’t attend the public meeting because he was in fact meeting with Chief Harper. Marty was then told Luke was in Harrisburg. Both of which were untrue.

####

An un-friggin, mind-boggling PS to this story: Marty reported that Luke was spotted on the golf course, hitting balls, right after his “interview” on Marty’s show, 'splaining his golf escapades.

####

An additional, intersting PS to this story: "Deb" was one of the callers on Marty's show. She is a city employee, a friend of Luke's, a friend of the family, knows him so well "he's like one of her own children." Deb opined that the problem is all of us don't give Luke the respect he deserves. I think we've heard from Deb before.

Mayor Diagnosed With Rare Disease

Results Just Preliminary, Prognosis Uncertain

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl’s physician, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, held an afternoon press conference to announce his preliminary diagnosis of a malady which has troubled the young mayor since he took office in September 2006. “We think it’s a rare case of Political Munchausen Syndrome but we’re still trying to confirm this” Dr. Gupta reported.

Munchausen Syndrome—named for Baron von Munchausen, an 18th century German officer who was known for embellishing the stories of his life and experiences —is the most severe type of factitious disorder. Munchausen sufferers are also known to fabricate illness so as to garner attention and sympathy from others.

Dr. Gupta went on to explain that Political Munchausen varies only slightly from the core syndrome. “Yes, Poli-Munchers fabricate and embellish their political accomplishments with fantastically impossible tales knowing very well that no one within earshot actually believes them. They do this because they enjoy the attention. But in addition, these individuals will purposefully place themselves in politically disastrous situations just for the thrill and challenge of trying to wheedle themselves out of it.”

The mayor was first suspected to suffer from the disorder when, as a councilman, he got into an altercation with a police officer at a Steeler’s game and later denied the incident although it had been witnessed by hundreds. After taking office as mayor, Ravenstahl immediately laid claim to accomplishments not his own, even those which occurred when he was still a young boy or on another continent. He proceeded to hire the wrong people, fire the wrong people and rack up hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees and penalties for doing so. He flew to New York City, in public and amidst scores of people who could easily attest to his whereabouts, but denied going nonetheless. “This is all typical behavior of a Poli-Muncher,” Gupta elaborated.

Concern for the mayor escalated when he crashed a private party at the Oakmont Country Club in an attempt to meet golf great Tiger Woods. The sand trap dust had not even settled from that flap when Ravenstahl abruptly fired ten of the city’s department heads. “We knew we had an unstable situation on our hands,” Gupta continued, adding that a full-fledged intervention was not possible until the mayor marched into a televised City Council session demanding the resignation of each councilperson. Hostilities nearly spiraled to the point of physical blows when a quick-thinking cameraman abruptly cut the picture to black, sparing the viewing public the worst of the melee.

Some people with Political Munchausen Syndrome suffer one or two brief episodes of symptoms. In most cases, however, the disorder is a chronic, or long-term, condition that can be very difficult to treat. Mr. Ravenstahl appears to have a very aggressive form of the disease, one that does not respond well to treatment. Even with treatment, it is more realistic to work toward managing the disorder rather than to try curing it.