A goal... not a resolution

I can't stand New Year's Resolutions.  I have blogged about it before. (You can read it here.) I won't call this a resolution but I will call it a goal.  I would like to start blogging again on a more regular basis.  I miss it.   

The Lord has blessed our family this past year.  My husband has been able to successfully get his new business off the ground so it has allowed me to work less overtime hours than last year.    I feel refreshed and want to use the time wisely.  

 

Happy 40th Birthday!

 

 Today was my husband's 40th birthday!  We kept things low key for a couple of reasons:  

1. My husband and I don't make a big deal of our birthdays.  

 2. Money has been tight since we both lost our jobs last month.   

I still wanted to make sure that the kids were able to wish daddy a happy birthday so instead of just making a traditional sized card, I pulled out my teacher pad of chart paper and let the little ones got to town! 

I  wrote some of the words but my three year old was able to write a lot of it by tracing dots that I drew as a guide.   The lovely drawings are courtesy of two year old, Ella.  Since our front door is magnetic, we hung the "card" on the door. 

It was Sydney's idea to get an ice cream cake so that we could sing Happy Birthday.  She even spent much of our travel time in the van today teaching Ella to sing the words to "Happy Birthday."  It really was very cute to hear.  I am not saying that they sounded melodious but it was adorable.

 I am sure that the kids had more fun than daddy did but I know that it was enough for him to have his family around him on his birthday.

Happy 40th Birthday Aaron!  We love you!

(Just remember I am still 39!)

Fathers

On the Father's Day 2014, I am grateful for my father, Lenny Smith and my husband, Aaron Delmanto. 

Dad and me in 1975

 My dad is a truly kind person.  I know that a lot of people toss that phrase around lightly but anyone who knows my dad knows that this true.  My dad would  cut off his right arm if he thought you needed it.  He taught me how to care for others and how to be a giving person.   (I am still learning this one.)  

My dad also taught me math.  I know some of you are thinking, "your dad wasn't a math teacher!"  Nope, my dad is a plumber (still working full-time at 70 years old) but is one of the smartest people I know.  He helped me with my math through all my years of school and I ended up becoming a math minor in college.  

My dad sacrificed for me in countless ways and he still does!    He worked many hours of overtime to ensure that his kids were able to attend Christian school.  Most recently, he heard that our hot water heater had died.  He knew that we were a little strapped for cash so he went out and bought us this tankless one that was 10x better than what we could afford.  He then installed it with my husband. 

Thank you dad for all you have done! 

Without my husband, Aaron, I am convinced that my children would not have any fun at all!  You are probably laughing and thinking I am kidding, but it is true.  When it comes to the kids, I take on the serious role.  I make sure they are wearing clean clothes, do their homework, be polite, obey, etc. I spend much of my time cleaning.  When my son was asked what was his mom's favorite thing to do,  he replied "clean!" All of that doesn't always leave much room for fun.  

My husband does a good job of making sure that the kids have time to act like kids.  He is the one that takes them sledding, builds forts from the couch pillows, goes to the park (even when it is muddy), makes sandcastles shaped like sharks, serves them breakfast for dinner, naps with them, digs in the dirt, goes on hayrides, turns himself into a human trampoline, you get the idea!

Thank you Aaron for being a great dad to all three kids and making sure that the kids have some fun!

 

Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak...

Last weekend I was upstairs folding laundry and running around like the usual maniac that I am on a Saturday afternoon.   As a working mom, I catch up on all of the cleaning and laundry on the weekends.  It is a busy life but we are in a rhythm as a family. While I was upstairs, Aaron (my husband) was downstairs with the little ones.  

It was almost nap time so I asked him to straighten up and bring them up for a nap.  By time he did that, I would have their sheets changed, clothes put away and room straightened up.  I cleaned up and waited for them to come upstairs.  When they didn't come up, I went downstairs to see what the hold up was.

I walked into the kitchen and saw a huge mess.  I did not remember  James 1:19...

I did not stop and listen to what they had to say about their mess.  I just started yelling at my husband for not cleaning up and not bringing them upstairs for their nap.  I was tired and cranky but I should have been slow to speak.

There was a mess because they were using the cookie cutters to spell out a message for me in Play doh...

As it has before, my bad mood affected my words.  I immediately apologized and realized that I need to loosen up on the weekends and be kinder to my family.  Yes, it is important to have a clean living space but it is more important to excuse the mess when the kids are having fun with their dad. 

I may need to tattoo James 1:19 onto my forearm to remind me to hold my tongue.

2013: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

One of the benefits of blogging for me is that I can look back at old blog posts and see where my life was a week, month or year ago.   When I look at where I was at the end of 2012, I see that I am in a much different place now.   2012 was the year of the good, the bad and the ugly.  2013 was very different,  the year of many changes.  

 

1. Aaron lost his job at the end of 2012 and in January of 2013 he got a new job. 

2. I went from being a cancer patient to being cancer free!

3. I went back to teaching after spending three years home with the babies. 

4. My kids grew a lot!  I know- they do that.  It just seems like such a difference from last year. 

It was a really good year and our family has much to be grateful for.  I look forward to seeing what the Lord has planned for us in 2014!

 

 

What does a vacuum have to do with being selfish?

 

Our vacuum has gotten a real work out over the last five years!  When it comes to making a mess, we are hard core in this house.  So after five years our vacuum has been acting up.  It still worked but not as effectively as it did when we first purchased it.  I knew that a new one was in our near future but I planned to use it until it died. 

One night last week after my husband got home from work, he ran out to the store to get some materials he needed for work.  When he walked in the door he had a new vacuum with him.  

 

What was my response?  

Gratitude

Joy

Appreciation

 Thankfulness

Excitement 

No!  I thought to myself...

Why did he get a vacuum without asking me?

I wish that I had a chance to pick it out myself?

Aren't I the one that uses the vacuum 99.9% of the time?

Did we really need to be spending money on a new vacuum right now?

Fortunately I didn't act on those thoughts.  I had a chance to check myself and think it through before I spoke.  I realized how incredibly selfish I was acting.  I thought of the phrase, "first world problems."   I immediately changed my frame of mind to one that was more positive.  I thanked my husband and was grateful for the new vacuum.

 I tried the vacuum out and was excited to see how much better it worked than the old vacuum. I focused on the fact that it was really thoughtful for my husband to surprise me with the new vacuum and to think of me while out shopping.  It was nice of him to buy something for me without me having to ask for it.  

Boy was I being selfish!  I am glad that I was able to readjust my thinking before I spoke!

"Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few."Ecclesiastes 5:2

" I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances." Philippians 4:11

Men and Candles Don't Mix

 

The Yankee Candle catalog came in the mail today.  It was one of those catalogs with the scratch and sniff pictures inside.   Front and center on the cover was their new line of "Man Candles."  The main attraction is their new "MMM, BACON" candle.  It smells just like you would think it would.

Is that really necessary?  I get that they are marketing for Father's Day,  but seriously?  Do scented candles and men really mix?  I know that my husband is already not a fan of scented candles.  Would he more inclined to light a candle that smells like bacon?  I think not!

According to the Boston Business Journal, the "man candles" made up 10% of sales in 2012 while they were out on the shelves for a limited release.  I can't imagine who would buy them.  Last year's scents included, "2x4" wood scented candle and the "Riding Mower" grass scented candle.  

What's in the works for next year's "man candles?"  Maybe "sweaty socks" or "flatulence flurry" or maybe even "armpit aroma?"

Let's just say that in our house the only bacon scent you will smell will be coming from our stove top!

When the Playroom is too Quiet

We live in tight quarters here but we try to make the most of our square footage.  My husband Aaron turned what was supposed to be a formal dining room into a playroom.  You can read about that transformation in this post.  It is a great place for the playroom because it is right off the kitchen.  We put a baby gate between the playroom and kitchen and now the babies are secure in their own space.

So this morning, like most mornings, I am in the kitchen making breakfast (scrambled eggs) for the kiddos and chatting on the phone with a friend.  The babies were in the playroom together.  I realized that the playroom was too quiet.  In our house quiet is a cause for concern.  It is like sounding an alarm!  I turned around from the stove to check on them and this is what I saw

At first, I didn't see Ella.  I was concerned that my son had piled all of that on top of my daughter.  I spotted her and questioned my two year old as to what he was doing.  He said, "Tower- Knock it down- baby." Apparently he was making a tower and then planning to knock it down on his sister.  As the toys precariously hung over my one year old daughter's head, I snapped a quick picture and dismantled his "work of art."

To give you a little perspective on what I was seeing, here is a before and after shot of that corner of the playroom:

So I guess I can now add, "Don't build a giant tower of toys and knock it down on your sister," to my list of rules that I didn't think I needed to tell you!

Love is...

I won't waste your time by telling you my sappy love story.  But I will tell you that the following pictures, quotes and verses are what love means to me. Happy Valentines Day to my husband Aaron!

Apples and Trees

I am sure you have heard the old saying, "Apples don't fall far from the tree."  We say that a lot in our house.  

This picture of my son, Lucas during his nap today is a prime example:

First, Lucas loves to sleep.  This is a picture I took after he had been napping for 3 hours.  It was dinner time so I needed to get him up.  This little apple fell off his father's tree.  The Delmantos have an uncanny ability to sleep anytime and anywhere for any length of time.

Yes there are about 20 books in his crib.  He loves to read before he falls asleep.  This apple has fallen off of my tree.  I love to read and growing up I always had books in my bed.

As my little one, Ella, grows up, I wonder what tree she will have fallen off of.

Not a clone after all...

My son, Lucas, is a clone of my husband.  He does not resemble me at all.   He is lucky that he will grow up to look like his very handsome dad!

When Ella was born, everyone said that Aaron had created another clone.  At first, I agreed.  But lately I am thinking that she is looking more like me.  I am not sure if it is just the curly hair but I think she is looking more like a Smith and less like a Delmanto.  Poor girl!

I am on the left and Ella on the right

Can't Live WIth Them Can't Live Without Them

The word insurance is curse word around our house.   It makes both my husband and me cringe.   It is the no win situation.  

We are both super excited that my husband found a job- but as always, the medical benefits are a sticking point.  The company he works for only covers his medical benefits.  

So what are our choices?

1. We could just have coverage for him and the rest of the family goes without medical insurance.  We would not have any insurance cost but we would have to pay out of pocket for medical expenses for Sydney, Lucas, Ella and me.  My cancer visits and mammograms are expensive.  If my cancer were to return, we would have to pay out of pocket for surgery and radiation and/or chemo.  Ella has a milk allergy which requires her to drink prescription formula.  The formula alone costs $969.70 per month.

2. We could pay to add the four of us to Aaron's medical plan.  The cost for that is $1560 per month.  But if my cancer returned, it would be covered.

Aaron's old plan covers us until the end of February.  Even though Aaron will be working his new job on March 1st when this runs out, we won't be able to join his new plan.  There is a minimum 90 day waiting period for the new insurance to kick in.  

So our insurance cost looks like this...

March 1st pay COBRA at at rate of $1700 per month

April 1st pay COBRA at at rate of $1700 per month

May 1st Aaron will be covered and we will pay $1560 every month for the rest of the family to be covered.

For our family to have medical, it costs almost as much as our mortgage.  Does anyone else find this to be ridiculous?

I wish there was a simple solution.  Any ideas?

So Thankful!!!

My husband, Aaron, got a job!!!!  You can read his unemployment story in this blog post.  He actually had a few offers and was able to decide which job was best for him and for our family.  He accepted the offer today! 

He worked really hard at finding a new position.  He sent out about 50 resumes and literally went door to door.  I am proud of him for his persistence and drive.

It appears that this job will have better hours than his former job and a shorter commute.  We are excited for this next chapter in Aaron's career.  He starts on Thursday!

We appreciate all of the prayers from our family and friends.  Thank you for praying on our behalf.  So many friends helped us during this time and we are so grateful. God is in control!  

2012: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

For our family, 2012 was the year of the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good:  Our Bonus Baby, Ella Grace

She was the best thing that happened to us this year.  She was a true miracle. You can read the story of Ella's birth in this blog post.



The Bad:  Aaron's Job

Aaron lost his job at the end of 2012, two weeks before Christmas.  It was something we were not expecting.  You can read about our adventure into unemployment in this blog post.



The Ugly:  Breast Cancer


Breast cancer affected a countless number of families in 2012.   Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis less than 2 months after giving birth was a shock.  It was one of the most difficult times in my life.  I am proud to say that I am now cancer free.  I get checked about every 3 months just to make sure they got it all and that it hasn't returned.

If you are going to take one thing away from this blog post, let it be "early detection."  Make sure that you take the time each year for your annual OBGYN visit to get a breast exam.  No one enjoys going to the doctor but early detection of breast cancer is a life saver!   If you are eligible, get a mammogram, even if there is no breast cancer in your family.  There wasn't any in mine.  You are not "too young" or "too busy" to get checked.

The Problem With New Year's Resolutions

I have a problem with New Year's resolutions.  You would think that the problem is keeping them or making attainable goals.  Nope- with me the problem is that I can only make them for myself.  Wouldn't life be better if you could pick resolutions for other people?

I decided to write some resolutions for others...


For my husband, Aaron-  I resolve to always take my dirty, filthy boots off before I enter the house.  I also resolve not to use every pot we own when I am making dinner.  Since I don't want my wife to drown, I resolve to always put down the toilet seat.

For my daughter, Sydney- I resolve to do all of my homework this year without complaining.  I also resolve to listen to my parents the first time they ask me to do something.   Since my mom is awesome, I will tell her that she is the best mom everyday.

For my son, Lucas- I resolve to no longer use diapers and to only use the potty.  I also resolve to chew my food and swallow it. I will no longer hoard my dinner for hours in my cheeks.  Since I wouldn't want my mom to work any harder than she already does, I will not spit my milk in to my toys this year. 

For my daughter Ella- I resolve to sleep at least 10 hours every night during 2013.  

For my neighbor- I resolve to quit smoking so that my neighbors no longer have to smell my second hand smoke as it wafts up to their windows.


For the people I always end up behind on the highway- I resolve to avoid the left lane and drive in the right lane where I belong.

For all of the other women out there-  I vow to gain weight so that Amy Delmanto will look skinny in comparison. 


I could go on all year writing resolutions for others.  It is much, much harder to write them for myself.

Employment Mistakes?

My husband Aaron is a landscaper and in my opinion a very talented one.  In September 2011, he made the decision to leave his job working at a nursery to work for a landscaper in Westfield.   Just last week, that landscaper laid Aaron off.  Was it mistake for him to leave the job he had at the nursery?  Why would God let this happen so close to Christmas?  and at a time when medical benefits are crucial for both Ella and me?

Even as Christians, we question and doubt the Lord.  We are still human beings with a sinful nature.  You would think that after what I went through with Ella that my first instinct would be to trust.  I didn't.  I had about a 24 hour migraine laced pity party.  I slept for 24 hours straight and woke up periodically to cry.

After that, I pulled it together and tried to review all of the challenges that God brought us through this year.  Nothing is too difficult for Him.  So we are waiting on the Lord to see what the plan will be.  Is there something better for Aaron out there?  Was the Lord protecting Aaron by removing him from a toxic boss?

I thought of a story that I heard right after 9/11.  I don't remember who the author was so I can't give him credit.  He was telling the story of what happened to him on that Tuesday morning.  He started by saying that on 9/10, he was fired.  He left his office in the Twin Towers devastated.   He questioned God.  Why would God let this happen to him?    He was angry.  Angry at his boss and angry at God.

He woke up Tuesday morning, September 11th and was still angry.  He finally pulled himself out of bed and turned on the news just in time to watch an airplane crash into the window where he used to sit.  He broke down immediately realizing that it should have been him.  He got the answer to his question.  God allowed him to be fired to save his life.  God had a purpose for him.  He was left on this earth for a reason.

It has been a week since Aaron was fired.  We haven't seen the literal reason why Aaron was fired like the man on 9/11 did.  Nonetheless, we know that there was purpose and reason behind it.  We will try to patiently wait on the Lord.