Declassified
![European politicians, take a leaf out of Trump’s book and sell off your old clothes](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/29/GettyImages-2158937002-scaled.jpg)
European politicians, take a leaf out of Trump’s book and sell off your old clothes
Why oh why can’t you buy a piece of one of Ursula von der Leyen’s suits?
![Donald Trump’s dream team: Musk, Orbán and Farage](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/20/GettyImages-2166789684-scaled.jpg)
![How Scooby-Doo taught Carles Puigdemont everything he knows](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/08/GettyImages-2165266495-1-scaled.jpg)
![New Olympic events revealed: Getting Dysentery, Taking A Brick To The Balls, and Not Being Very Smart](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/08/01/GettyImages-2163971382-scaled.jpg)
New Olympic events revealed: Getting Dysentery, Taking A Brick To The Balls, and Not Being Very Smart
![The EU in summertime: Naked and with lost luggage](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=360,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/25/eu-hols.jpg)
![Donald Trump and the best ways to respond to being shot](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/19/GettyImages-2162189035-scaled.jpg)
![Why Joe Biden needs Giorgia Meloni with him at all times](https://www.politico.eu/cdn-cgi/image/width=480,height=320,quality=80,onerror=redirect,format=auto/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/12/GettyImages-1574696262-scaled.jpg)
Why Joe Biden needs Giorgia Meloni with him at all times
Naked airports for Italians and bins for Americans
Which is more impressive, Silvio Berlusconi Airport or a receptacle for waste?
All hail Viktor Orbán, the hero Europe needs!
Say what you like about the Hungarian prime minister, but his messaging is clear.
That’s it, no more elections! Just make Taylor Swift prime minister.
An election. A French election. A UK election. Enough is enough!
Make Europe Great Again with deals, slogans and dastardly plans
It’s been a bad week for EU decision-making but a good one for trolling and the War on Jargon.
If you’re rich like Sunak and Macron, why would you want people calling you an idiot all day?
Politicians may be playing the long game and hoping one day that people will name their kids after them.
Follow Chirac and Farage, not angry farmers, when it comes to music as a political weapon
Europe’s farmers are taking a stand — and ruining it by playing “Barbie Girl.”
Emmanuel Macron (and all of Paris) dans la merde
Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column. Inside a planning meeting for the Paris Olympics, sometime in late 2017… Marketing: “Hey guys, I’ve got this great idea! …
What happens if you are too far-right for the far right?
Maximilian Krah was the only person making an effort, and now he’s no longer campaigning in the EU election.
Angela Merkel’s little book of calm
Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column. Pour yourself a glass of something chilled, put your feet up, and prepare to dive into a book by one …
You can blame Brexit for everything now
Critics hate your musical? Just blame leaving the EU.
Donald Trump’s (very) rough guide to Europe
Trump still hates Paris and London shocker!
The unimaginable hardships of Nicolas Sarkozy’s son
Louis Sarkozy has money, and thoughts.
Meet the world’s newest superheroes: Seagull Boy, Alcohol Man and the Incredible Kebab
Another fantastic week for the weird and wonderful world that is Belgium.
Stuck inside a conference center with the Nigel Farage blues again
Got some right-wingers? Got a venue? Let the games begin!
The trials and tribulations of the Brazilian butt lift industry
Turkey’s cosmetic clinics are getting into trouble for their advertising practices.
Elephants in Germany and space! Alternative destinations for Botswana’s unwanted mammals
President of southern African country wants to offload elephants to Germany. Bring it on!
Trump should get himself a piece of Berlusconi’s Bunga Bunga property portfolio
The former Italian PM’s old mansions are getting new leases of life. Time for King MAGA to get involved.
Trump and Putin wage war on the British royal family
There’s been some unwelcome intrusion into Charles, Kate and Harry’s lives.
Revealed: Where amateur photo editor Kate Middleton has been hiding all these months
It’s been a week of apologies, defections and bad language in the UK.
1234, SAD! and other great political passwords
German defense forces have had what can be charitably described as a challenging time of late.
UK Tories take on cats and almond milk, the two biggest scourges facing the world
At last, someone is standing up for the cat abductors!
Donald Trump stinks — and so could you!
The former US president has launched a cologne and some sneakers. Lucky us.
Europe’s desperate, and unfulfilled, longing for Taylor Swift’s approval
All of Europe’s ills would be solved if the world’s biggest pop star decides to speak out.
Put your Covid mask back on, the cocaine hippos are attacking!
Your mask might protect you, but not from Pablo Escobar’s dangerous wild animals.