My husband refuses to kiss me

Emotionally attached couples show significant levels of trust and can share secrets with their spouses without fear. Having a deep and intimate connection with your spouse helps to keep your relationship healthy and happy. Kissing also helps maintain the spark in an intimate relationship and sustains your spouse’s physical attraction and desire.

It feels wonderful to feel accepted by the person you love, and it can be distressing when you notice that they are no longer interested in something important to you. This behaviour change might be due to stress, fatigue, or even a change in oral health. If this is a new issue in your relationship, as you mentioned it has never happened before, consider some of the following suggestions:

Find an appropriate time to calmly discuss the issue with your partner and explain to them how important kissing is to you. Often, a couple may assume that their partner is aware of their unspoken needs.

Be open about your feelings and let your partner know how their behaviour makes you feel, while also taking the time to listen to their perspective. People have different views on romance, and kissing may not hold the same significance for them. Having a fair discussion can help you better understand each other.

Explore other ways to feel connected besides physical intimacy. Being adaptable is key to managing conflicts or stress within a relationship. Sometimes, with proper handling, the situation may change and return to normal.

Remember to be patient and empathetic, as building a strong relationship takes time. Sudden changes can occur, but they may not be permanent. Giving it time can help you find common ground.

Communicating is the best way to deal with a lack of kissing in a relationship. Talk to your partner about your kissing intimacy issues and what you feel about them. Express how important it is to you and explore the reasons behind the change in your kissing habits.

Also, you must understand each other’s love expression. Discover and understand how you and your partner experience and express love. Find alternative ways to express affection that align with your love languages.

Set aside dedicated time to spend together without distractions. Engage in activities that bring you closer and foster emotional connection, such as having meaningful conversations or doing shared hobbies.

If you have tried most of these suggestions and have not seen any improvement, consider seeking professional help.

READER ADVICE

Talk to him about it

Joseph Tunde.

The one piece of advice that applies to every relationship is that if something is a problem for one of you, then it is a problem for both of you. This is one of those times. Kissing is probably an act you enjoy not just because it is a sensuous promise of more to come, but because it symbolizes your intimate connection. Without it, you are worried that something bigger is amiss. However, 22 years is a long time to worry that your husband does not love you. The only person who can help you in this situation, therefore, is your husband.

Find his true love

Deo B Benards

There are men for whom kissing is the purest expression of love. They could do everything else but reserve that one thing only when they feel pure love from the heart. Establish if your dental hygiene is okay. If it is, please rekindle his true love for you. Do the things that appeal to his heart and not just his body. For such men (if he is that type), digging for his true love may be a little hard, but if anyone has any chance of getting to him, then it is you. Good luck.

Communication is key

Fred Mpambara.

It is important to understand the meaning of communication. If you have been married for a long time, you should have discussed this important aspect of your relationship. If you do not communicate and make time to talk about family issues, your home will be imbalanced. For example, you might have bad breath, but since your husband knows you are sensitive, he will not be open with you. You need to establish a friendship through communication, where both of you are open and free to discuss your issues..

Find a solution together

Sylk Sylk.

Being with you for 22 years means your husband loves you a lot. He might just be too shy or scared to initiate physical affection. Have a conversation with him. Let him know that you want to cuddle and kiss, and together, you can find a solution that works for both of you.

Has this just started?

Felix Moses Echonyu.

Be careful not to get misled by some comments here. Some people naturally do not like kissing. If he has been like that from the start, then you should not complain after 22 years of marriage. Be mindful of the future of your relationship.

Change your approach

Sula Steven.

The issue of bad breath is one thing, but the way you address it even if your breath is fine is another. It is important for both partners to openly learn and practice proper techniques without feeling embarrassed. This is an essential aspect of marriage.

Find out why

Patience Natie.

I am certain there is a reason as to why he denies you that. Find out what it is. Explore other ways to feel connected besides physical intimacy.

Evelyn Khorono Lufafa is a counselling psychologist with Sermotherapy Counselling Foundation