When you want to build rapport

- My daughter Molina recently graduated from college and has been conducting informative interviews to gather career advice. What Molina didn't realize was that she was getting a crash course on rapport building. Even if you're not in her shoes, using rapport- building skills will benefit you in any situation when you are connecting with other people. Here's some tips to use in your next conversation. Find or build on common ground. When you connect with someone you don't know well, start with discussing the external environment or a common context. For example, I recently encountered a group of women in a hotel elevator who were all wearing historical costumes. I opened with, "I must have missed the invitation. Have you all been having fun?" This led to an engaging conversation about their evening. If you are more familiar with the person, you can initiate a conversation on a more personal note. Follow up on a previous topic or something specific from your last conversation. For instance, if they mention their kids' birthday party, ask how it went. I often use the note section on my phone and I document things like names of spouses, or kids' grade levels, degrees, colleges. This allows me to make more personalized comments. Leverage virtual connections. Strategize about your virtual connections as much as you do with your in-person ones. A comment about a post or article in someone's LinkedIn page, A separate private message thanking them for sharing information or even passing along an article you think they may be interested in are all examples of virtual rapport building. Show interest and engagement. Our listening building block in this course is essential when you are building rapport. Listen with your whole body. Nod, lean in. Encourage the speaker verbally with words such as, "Really?" "Wow." "Oh, I see." Don't neglect eye contact and varying your facial expressions just because the meeting is virtual. Yes, they can be incredibly exhausting, but a direct camera connection is crucial to successfully engaging with others. Voice inflection and energy also matter. If you're in an audio only meeting or on the phone, your vocal inflection is your only tool for conveying friendliness. I found it interesting that a study in the "Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior" looked at the relationship of voice pitch and trustworthiness in different social contexts. They found that an enthusiastic vocal pitch can convey energy, engagement and sincerity. If you don't know how your conversational vocal pitch comes across, record an audio sample of yourself and feed it into an AI tool such as Yulee or AI to get valuable feedback about your speaking style. Finally, stand or sit tall. Strong posture and a steady gaze tell everyone around that you're comfortable and attentive. Practice these tips daily to become comfortable with building rapport. It will increase your network and enhance your professional growth. In the Toolkit video coming up next, I'll share several practical exercises that you can use to build rapport in three very different contexts.