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Reviews
The Goetia Diaries (2022)
Found Footage it is Not
The filmmakers went with the found footage approach on this story. It's a story that has been done before, both as found footage and as not. This story was not written well for the genre. The big questions of "why are they filming this" and "how did this get filmed" are really unanswered throughout the movie.
I did like the lead actor, but the supporting cast was not as strong. Again, I think its mostly the writing. The supporting characters had little to no depth. The only supporting cast member I really enjoyed was Zimmer, the video friend. I thought he had some substance and the actor did a really good job with him.
The reveal and the end are a huge letdown. You see it coming a mile away and there is no scary edge or quality to it.
Talon Falls (2017)
Average Crazy Nutjobs
This was a solid, if not unremarkable, crazy backwoods people horror movie. I liked the set, which I understand is a real haunted house attraction in Kentucky. The setting had a lot of great atmosphere. I also liked the choice of music that played a significant role in the story.
Where I think this movie struggles in the acting by the leads and the story. The two main actresses don't do much more than scream throughout most of the story. Neither really does much to make her character different or memorable. In fact, the screaming was so annoying by the time we arrived at the climax of the story, that I did not feel bad for their disposition. The supportive acting wasn't so much acting as walking and swinging an axe. The bad guys had no development whatsoever.
This leads to the bigger issue - the story. It borrows heavily from the "House of 1000 Corpses" which itself borrowed from "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and other slasher movies. The scheme is so complex that it makes the puzzles in "Saw" seem practical. If you think about why this haunted house exists or how it can sustain itself or how the killers could have video tapes of victims going back for years without anyone figuring this out, the story falls apart.
I watched the whole movie and it was kind of fun, but it is dumb as a box of hammers.
Malicious (2018)
Interesting, Average
I liked the story. Even though I think the characters ultimately unraveled at the end and behaved in a way that is inconsistent with the setup, the villain was original and the story was new.
This movie borrows from the Dybuk Box legend and mixes in some Rumplestiltskin mumbo jumbo, but I think the story works. I also think that the setting really adds to the isolation and the story, so that was a good story and direction choice.
The acting and character writing is where I struggled with this movie. I didn't buy the development of the character of either the wife or the husband. The occultist friend was pulled right from every other horror movie. If these characters had been likeable or believable, I think this story would have been really good. They weren't, though.
All Hallows' Eve (2013)
All Atmosphere, No Story
I did not like this movie. I like the character of Art the Clown, but he is so much better in the subsequent "Terrifier." This anthology has three stories and a backstory to tie them together and none of them are original, compelling or creative. The first doesn't make any sense and is just imagery. The second is the opposite and has no creative elements. The last is the best attempt at giving Art a story and a character to play against, but there is nothing here either. Overall, so disappointing.
I felt like giving this movie an average grade, but I felt that it had a mean spirited edge that really left me not liking how the writer/director left these stories. Watch Terrifier and skip this one.
Tenemos la carne (2016)
More of an Experience than a Movie
First, there is no story here. Stuff happens to people. I don't believe there is a narrative where the characters develop in any understandable way. I also don't think it is possible to explain what happens. One thing does not cause another thing. For a moment at the end, I thought this could have been some kind of anthology of interrelated but independent stories. No, it's not.
The lead actor is great as the crazy lead character. The other actors do not bring anything at all to their characters. Ultimately, this movie is not even that disturbing. It is just weird.
Attached: Paranormal (2021)
The Making of a Cereal Killer
You know what is wrong with most paranormal horror movies? Too much paranormal and too much horror. This movie refreshingly is made of found footage of a man and a cat living together in a house that isn't haunted or scary.
See the man make cereal and eat it for breakfast!
Thrill to the cat react to a cup falling onto the floor!
Hear the sound of static increase as nothing is there to make noise!
Unintentionally hilarious. So terrible that its hard to capture in a review. The cat is the star.
The Devil's Familiar (2020)
Pretty Good Mystery
I liked this movie. It is simple and short and that worked for this story. It follows a couple of college filmmakers researching a murder and disappearance. There are a few different characters they interact with who have conflicting goals for the project. Kind of fun to watch and the lead actors were effective.
E-Demon (2016)
Terribly Fun to Watch
I don't really disagree with the other reviews about this movie, but I thought it was a lot of fun to watch. The characters are so bad, especially the background possessed people. However, they are hilarious. When one of the character's little children begin attacking him, this movie went from a three star to a six star romp.
There are a lot worse movies to waste your time watching in the social media horror genre.
Armenian Haunting (2018)
Stuff of Legends Terrible
This movie is not offensive, which is usually what I reserve a one-star rating for. However, it is so poorly made in every aspect that it was a chore to sit through.
Nothing new here and the production value is terrible.
They're Outside (2020)
Well Acted "Thriller"
The best part of this movie is the acting. I really think that the two leads did a great job with their characters. They were interesting to watch and they were both very vivid, in different ways. I wasn't thrilled with the artificial romance, but otherwise the characters were good.
The story was good. Not great, but good. The villain was new and fit the story. There were not a lot of scares in this, but it was fun to watch and much better than I expected.
Found Footage (2011)
We don't need no stinkin' story
Imagine a murderer who records stalking and killing his victims. You don't need to imagine. Just watch this movie. There isn't a story or acting or anything. Just an annoying guy who kills women.
Audition: Found Footage Film (2021)
Real Found Footage - Unfortunately
Found footage is my favorite gimmick. A good found footage movie seems like it is really filmed without a script, but also tells an interesting story. Most bad found footage tell a good story, but the found footage is completely unrealistic.
Not so with this movie. This movie seems real. The actors do a great job of capturing an unscripted feel. However, the story is like watching grass grow in slow motion. Its almost misleading to say there is a story. Its more like a day in the life of a murder victim.
Malignant (2013)
A Dull Protagonist
Sometimes, a realistic portrayal of a character just doesn't make for a compelling story. Our protagonist in this movie is an introverted, depressed man. He is realistically played as a very quiet and subdued person. I can appreciate this, but it is super boring to watch.
The Claire Wizard Thesis (2018)
Too Long for the Premise
This movie reminds me of the funny SNL skits that are made into full length movies and aren't funny. While there are some clever parts to this movie, it is way too long and the gags repeat over and over. It just isn't effective as a full length spoof.
Followed (2018)
Lost in the Third Act
Some good characters and some good acting. Not much original here, but was engaging until the end. The story tries to put too many horror tropes into one ending. It became ridiculous and took me out of the movie.
Dark Web (2017)
Mis-titled Movie
I really enjoyed "Remote." The other segments were either poorly developed or unoriginal. Without the one story I did enjoy, this would have been a complete waste of time.
The Final Project (2016)
So Terrible
I actually had to fast forward through part of the beginning of this movie because it was so dull. Nothing happens for nearly an hour. I mean nothing at all. No story or character development. The remaining half hour is mainly headcam footage of people running. This is a total disaster.
Also, every character is unlikeable. This was so painful to sit through.
The Den (2013)
What "Unfriended" should have been
This movie is a little gem. It's been out for a while, but I just saw it. I liked it. I think the story is contrived as to how to how the victim is selected and stalked, but aside from that, it works. I liked the characters. The story is simple and the scares are good. It is not a found footage movie any more than "fear dot com" or "Unfriended" would be, but it is a good entry in the social media horror sub-genre.
Webcast (2018)
Sometimes slow is just boring
I did not enjoy this found footage horror movie. It wasn't terrible. The acting was ok and the found footage gimmick was ok as well. It reminds me more of "Lake Mungo" than the movie they say inspired it. That said, it is as slow as molasses in the winter. It isn't a slow build to suspense. It is just really slow. Honestly, there is around 30 minutes of story here in 90 minutes of run time.
Body Bags (1993)
A classic comedy horror anthology
The first segment is fun, but not as strong as the other two. I love the middle segment with Stacy Keach. I still remember this movie from the theater and I loved it.
Great nostalgia and fun cameos.
Cold Ground (2017)
Walking in the Snow: the Movie
People walk in the snow. A bird. People walk in the snow. A rabbit. People walk in the snow. Trees. People walk in the snow. Dead stuff. People sleep in tents in the snow. Repeat for two hours.
The Last Broadcast (1998)
Really, really dull until the end
What genre is this? Horror? Thriller? Crime? Is it found footage? Is it a mockumentary? Ultimately, it is a clever idea that goes way too long for the reveal at the end.
Catcalls (2017)
Super Average
This short had some interesting elements and was fun, but ultimately was lazy. It had virtually no dialogue and that did not allow much development of the characters and story. This is especially true in a story less than nin minutes long.
Host (2020)
Dumbest characters ever
Terribly boring and stupid. No one acts like a human would. Thankfully, this movie is only an hour long. I don't even know how to characterize this movie. It's not found footage. It's more, "I wish it was lost footage."
Hell House LLC III: Lake of Fire (2019)
Retconning the original, but not going anywhere
Will someone just tear this hotel down, please? Stop trying to use it as a haunted house. Everyone keeps dying. This installment sees the new cast try to do a haunted theater to the same outcome as the first two attempts. This time, a battle between good and evil ensues, even though it isn't described or foreshadowed very well.