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lathe-of-heaven
I have been collecting movies for over 40 years now. The very first ones were in BETA (yes, BETA... 😁) then VHS and eventually about the turn of the century DVDs and finally Blu-rays when they began to be 'The' format. I've chosen not to go 4k though. Although I do have a nice, reasonably priced 50" telly that upscales everything very nicely. I have a VERY old OPPO Blu-ray player, the very first of their 'High End' line (BDP-83) I've had it serviced a few times by OPPO and it is still playing just fine. In reading many of the complaints and troubles of some of the 4k players and discs, and being perfectly happy with the excellent picture quality I have now, I decided not to transition to the 4k world. If I get 'Ahold' of 4k Blu-ray files I use software to convert them to HD 1080 Blu-rays which works just fine. Between movies and series (each full series counting as '1') I have over 9600 titles.
I also even more avidly have collected vinyl records for the same period of time. I have over 2600 albums on vinyl, many original pressings from when they came out, and also high quality 'Audiophile' pressings of some of my favourite albums. I have probably around 8000 albums in FLAC (lossless) stored on mirrored multiple HDDs, so I've been doing this awhile... 😊
I've also designed a website over many years just for fun that has many different areas of interest, including some of my poetry and a music section where I have several pages describing different Genres and provide samples of each one. I also have a Google Folder with pictures and detailed descriptions of my SOUNDROOM SYSTEM & COLLECTIONS. So, please feel free to take a look at any of these if you wish to do so:
lathe-of-heaven.com
https://photos.app.goo.gl/9ja3UKob7tppW4Y38
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCBLp_bD-39ZaKx01P98EJ0Q
Cheers!
Jaime (Southern California)
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
Lord of Misrule (2023)
People Dissing this movie simply do NOT know good Folk Horror... The best movie of its type since the original 'WICKER MAN'...
Firstly, this 5.x rating is nonsense... Normally I try to be very even handed with reviews and not get too worked up, but in this case we honestly have a very, very good film that is extremely well made, well acted, and with a fantastic Folk Horror atmosphere, in my lowly and wretched opinion the best I've seen since the original 'WICKER MAN'
The reason why I feel so strongly about this movie is because it seems that we so rarely see such a well thought out, deeply intriguing Pagan/Folk Thriller without a bunch of heavy handed, over the top cruelty or violence. In this case, we have a very well crafted film that has TONS of genuine and creepy atmosphere which strongly lends itself to some good suspense and Mystery.
Yes, the story is a bit on the slower side than what is considered 'Horror' these days, almost a throwback to when these kinds of movies relied more on building a good, effective atmosphere with continuously tightening up the tension until a powerful ending. And, what I personally like about the ending, without of course spoiling anything, is that we have something that I feel is refreshing and unlike the usual cliched 'Sting' at the end, but still with a pretty strong surprise.
It is too bad that a lot of people come here and gave this excellent and well made film such low scores, simply because THEY just don't care for slower, more atmospheric, Folk Horror stories. It's like I've said many times before in my reviews... I personally hate sadistic movies that feature Torture Porn. But, it would be unfair for me to come here and rate all the movies like that poorly just because I personally do not like them. That would not help others who happen to like those kinds of movies in any way to know whether it is a 'Good' film or not, would it.
So, I refrain from doing that although I very much do not like those kinds of movies. It would be very nice if others would show the same respect for the types of films that they simply don't care for or find 'Boring' as many say here, and not deliberately lower the score for those of us who DO indeed really like this type of Horror. Thus my rare but I feel definitely earned '8' rating that I gave it.
If you don't like, slower, more atmospheric Folk Horror films, then please just give this one a pass and kindly don't ruin the score for those who do like them. BUT... if you do like these kinds of Folk Horror stories like the Iconic 'WICKER MAN' (original of course) then you should really enjoy this excellent, well made, and I feel quite effective Horror story.
Curiosity Kills (1990)
Oh yeah... Always really loved this movie! Forget the 3 other haters here... : ) This is a great, really fun Thriller with a very Cool Jeff Fahey...
Just a great film. I've had this one since the VHS days and I'm sure I have it on DVD and also an HD WebRip of it somewhere.
It is a ton of fun, I don't get these other Hosers P*$$ing all over it, it honestly is a very entertaining Thriller which totally capitalizes on the meaning of its title. Rae Dawn Chong is her lovely self, and I can' possibly praise Jeff Fahey enough. I don't know why that guy didn't hit it a LOT bigger than he did. His role in the very unfairly maligned 'THE LAWNMOWER MAN' (Director's version of course) proves that he can actually act and was a powerhouse performance. Here, he is like THE slickest MOFO Killer you ever saw.
So, if you like 1990's Thrillers (I do!) and you like a really fun and involving suspenseful ride, you will totally enjoy this one.
MOST HIGHLY Recommended!
One Percenter (2023)
An intriguing premise but ultimately a somewhat disjointed film. A very unique approach, pretty corny dialog, and some effective surprises towards the end...
This is a very different movie. I can see how the filmmakers were indeed trying to be creative in its approach from the perspective of an 'Action Film Star'...
There is some pretty rough dialog throughout that is both intentionally and unintentionally funny in a quirky kind of way. I thought the main guy was pretty cool and played his part well. But, the acting overall is not what you would call the very best, and that's putting it kindly.
I guess the unusual setup and the fight choreography particularly towards the end with the two main Good/Bad guys is what keeps one's interest mostly. But, the script, such as it is, kind of brings the movie down a little.
You have to hand it to the imagination behind some of these films, they do indeed come up with some truly out of left field twists towards the end, which I felt in this case were fairly effective.
I liked the two different fighting styles of the Good/Bad guys at the end. The Bad guy was very much like Bruce Lee, very 'Still' very precise, VERY fast! The Good guy using his Wave technique was more fluid. So, it was rather fascinating watching how their totally different fighting styles worked together.
I would say that overall it is an okay movie, fun in parts, with an unusual premise. To me personally, the ending 'Twists' add another point because of their clever and somewhat vague nature, thus my '6' rating...
Definitely flawed, but if you get into it, it does hold your interest for all these quite disparate reasons.
Residue (2017)
WOW! I'm just coming down from seeing this now. What a Mind-Shredder!
Okay, as the reviews show here, this movie is most definitely NOT for everyone. It is as confusing as hell and doesn't really fully explain anything. And, I mean ANYTHING! But, WOW! What a mindtrip, seriously... There are movies that TRY to be clever or Artsy or Surreal, but as bloody Out There as this one is, you can tell that the people behind it are very, very sharp.
IF you are going to set out to make a movie to turn someone's mind into a pretzel, let me tell you, THIS is precisely the way to do it. There is even some very, VERY dry, dark humour sprinkled throughout. Seriously, these people are very clever and have really set out to make a truly ambitious film.
The acting is superb, unlike what another reviewer said here. I would F'n SWEAR that lead guy is Ryan Reynolds, he looks a lot like him and his super low-key, dry manner is exactly like him. I had to keep asking myself, 'Is this Ryan Reynolds?' What you also have is a collection of really fascinating characters, very strange, funny, and extremely offbeat, which I feel makes the movie even more entertaining.
What you basically have here is a Godzilla sized Mystery with a big, capital 'M' I mean, even at the end you still don't quite know what the hell just happened. But in this case, we're not talking about simply vague, 'Trying to be mysterious' here. We're talking about a very clever, very well thought out story with extreme attention to detail. There is absolutely nothing sloppy about this film whatsoever. It is very sharply edited and photographed to convey the story in what I feel is a very effective way.
Again, this movie is NOT for everyone. If you don't like extremely non-linear super offbeat films and you prefer your Horror or really any Genre to tell a more clear, straight forward story, this movie is NOT for you. BUT... if you totally like films that every 10 minutes truly make you go, 'WTF!!??' like I do, this will be one that you will remember for a very, very long time. I know it has a moderately low rating here, and truthfully I'm not that surprised. But, I'm telling you... if this is the kind of really Out There movie that you like, you will be totally grabbed by the privates and hold you in its iron grip for the entire length of the film. That is why I gave this one a very rare '8', and I totally feel it deserves it.
Consecration (2023)
Extremely well made, excellent Religious Horror - Very well directed, superb atmosphere, a VERY strong sense of Mystery...
5.2...? Seriously...? Honestly, I can't imagine what people want in a good Horror movie today. I don't mean that in a snarky way, I truly don't understand it.
This is probably one of the most well produced, intelligently executed Horror films that I've seen in a long time (thus the '8' rating, which FWIW for me is very rare) Serious as a heart attack, deeply foreboding, tense brooding atmosphere, and quite honestly one of THE most powerful, gripping Mysteries created in this kind of film.
I love the way they measure out just the right amount of information and with perfect pacing that genuinely builds a strong sense of What the Hell is Going On Here?! And those truly WTF moments are placed in just the right places to be very effective. I feel the story is absolutely involving for anyone who likes there Horror films intelligent and well thought out.
The acting is solid, I especially really liked the Mother Superior and the priest, damn good acting there. But, everyone did a stellar job. There have been many Horror movies based upon similar themes, and some of them are indeed quite fun and entertaining. But, THIS one surpasses many others in my lowly and wretched opinion, and with what I feel is a real quality ending that isn't the usual, tired 'Twist' or 'Gotcha', but still leaves you wondering just exactly what happened.
Oh yeah... If you like Religiously themed Horror and you appreciate movies that are really well made and effective, I would strongly recommend this one above most others.
Again... 5.2...? WTF...?!
The Presence (2010)
Yes, this is a very, VERY S-L-O-W movie. That is why everybody and his dog is saying it is boring, but it isn't...
Yeah, this is an extremely slow film, no doubt about that. I don't think the first word is spoken until like 15 minutes into the story, and that's just by a boatman who happens to be dropping off some supplies.
What this plays like is a very, VERY slow-build, old fashioned Ghost Story. Sort of like the American equivalent of the Classic British Ghost Story. As long as you appreciate films like this, then you will understand and enjoy the narrative as it plays out. There is indeed quite a sense of Mystery, the audience wondering, for quite some time, who this 'Presence' is in the house that the woman apparently does not see.
You are most definitely NOT going to get any flash and bang in this one. What you DO get are some excellent performances, both by the ever lovely Mira Sorvino and her co-stars. You even get the angle where, 'Is this guy too good to be true?' But, everything is answered as you go along, and it is done well.
About half way through the real plot kicks in and you begin to understand the Good vs. Evil theme that is being played out. You also begin to understand why Ms. Sorvino is acting the way she is. The only thing you don't quite get explained is precisely who the 'Presence' actually is and what part he has played, thus the reason that right after finishing this review, I'm immediately going straight out online and get a few explanations... : )
If you enjoy real slow-burn, intriguing stories with a strong sense of Mystery, and a nice, ponderous but slowly building suspense, and if you of course appreciate movies that are well done, AND you aren't looking for a lot of action and violence, then there is a good chance you may enjoy this one.
Blackout (2023)
Other than the 2 clearly spurious '10' ratings, most of the what the people say here is exactly right...
To clarify... No, not really that great of a movie. Sorry Larry... I really like your early work, even back as far as your very first film, 'WENDIGO' I think.
I think what the deal here is, is that it's not a bad idea and some of the 'parts' are done well. But, overall, I'm afraid the story and the way it is presented (pacing, writing maybe...) is just simply not that compelling. Maybe the odd way the lead character comes across is a big part of it, at least for me it seemed that way. But, the story just didn't seem to 'flow' very well and the conflicts he was having with his Dad's partner and his girlfriend and even the still amazing Barbara Crampton, just didn't come across as realistic or natural at all.
So, if you don't find the characters very relatable, then many times no matter how good the story or idea may be, it just simply does not involve the audience to a significant degree.
I would say that MAYBE if you're expectations are very low, MAYBE this might be a passable time waster, but in my lowly and wretched opinion, even that is really stretching it. Feeling particularly generous, I have it a '5'
Not really recommended. Again, sorry Larry...
Stopmotion (2023)
A very odd one for sure... Definite glimpses of Lynch, but not really with much true 'Story' to go along with it...
Some great creepy visual stuff here. But, sadly only in certain scenes. I'm thinking of creating an edit with all the cool looking stuff and dumping the story... : )
I can see where the director has some true talent in creating a very disturbing mood, but sadly I just don't get the feeling that he really knows quite how to put everything together in a way that would truly be compelling to an audience.
Obviously, and this is no spoiler because you can tell this almost from the beginning, we have yet another story about the mind of someone disintegrating before our eyes. Normally, I skip the Horror movies where after all the great visuals and stuff, you find out, 'Oh, it was all just in their mind'... Especially if it is done with some kind of twist that is supposed to pull the rug out from under the audience. No thanks...
But, at least this one has a very creative premise using the stop motion approach, which I've always found very cool, and he does do some pretty creepy and entertaining things with them. You just have to sit through all the rest of the 'Narrative', such as it is, which is most definitely not done very well.
So yeah, if you just want to watch this for the interesting and creative visual moments and you like that kind of Lynchian flavour, sure. But, don't expect a very good story or narrative surrounding these good moments. I personally had to do a LOT of fast forwarding to get to the 'Good' parts...
Kolskaya sverhglubokaya (2020)
An unfairly low score here I would say... The film is very well made and executed and I feel quite effective.
Basically, I felt motivated to leave a review because the current 4.9 is way too low for the quality of the film. Yes, it is a tad overlong and the pacing could have been better, but I feel the constant atmosphere of creeping dread and mystery is very strong and I think really draws the audience in.
Although being a Russian film and I am not Russian, I felt the acting and writing were very well done. So many times in modern Horror movies it is the poor quality of the acting/writing/direction that brings them down, regardless of the strength of the premise. But, most certainly not in this case. I honestly felt the characters were very believable and realistic, and as is the case with many Russian Horror films, DEAD serious...
The practical effects are SUPER creepy, not to mention the very effective sound effects and soundtrack. REALLY built up a very scary and unsettling mood. And, even though I'm not one necessarily to want a lot of 'Heart' in my Horror movies, this one had a few nice heartfelt interactions which did indeed add to more involvement in the story.
So, I can't imagine why the score is so low, especially comparing it to the literal deluge of low budget Horror films coming out these days that are less than stellar. In my lowly and wretched opinion, this is a very strong, very Creepy, very atmospheric Russian Horror story that is executed extremely well.
The Creeping (2022)
Heh... 'Insanely Uneventful'... Great title by another reviewer here, and perfect for this, uh... Movie...
Bummer... I was rather looking forward to this one, but all I can say is that it is not put together very well and as suggested by the other reviewer's rather incisive title, VERY uninteresting and uneventful.
The acting is below average, there is absolutely NO tension in the movie. Towards the beginning are the cliched obligatory scenes showing her as a little girl and her father together playing games and such. Totally plastic, totally artificial.
And, this is one of the cases where I REALLY don't care whatsoever about what the theme or main plot is. It is SO bloody uninteresting and absolutely NOT compelling or involving in any way, that quite honestly, you just don't care.
Seriously...
So, the content of my review has about as much substance as the movie does, so that should tell you something... : )
At least in many other cases where the movie isn't made very well or the acting isn't that great, at LEAST there may be an intriguing premise or idea behind it. Here, it just simply doesn't matter...
I'm giving it a VERY generous '4' because the look and photography were kind of nice. But, honestly... that is about it...
I don't say this often in reviews, as a matter of fact I generally don't go to the trouble to leave negative reviews. But, since I had more expectations for this film and others might too, I just wanted to say...
Don't waste your time...
The Legend of Lake Hollow (2024)
An interesting premise, a good setting, and nice atmosphere. Sadly, pretty much wasted on a disjointed story that honestly just wasn't done that well...
Pretty much that...
The good ol' very dependable 'Cabin in the Woods' setting, which I personally will probably never get tired of, and I mean that sincerely because when used well it can be very effective.
Creepy woods, mysterious and threatening sounds, the elements are here for a good film. But, they just simply are not put together very well. The acting is not the greatest. I would say for me personally IF the story itself had been executed much better and the director had a clue about how to create the narrative in an engaging way, sure, I probably wouldn't have been that bothered by the acting even though it wasn't that great.
And, as Leo at The Geek Legion of Doom said, which I ALWAYS check out when I'm interested in a movie, it is an excellent site and Leo is a great reviewer, it was like the entire film was setup, setup, setup, setup... and then an abrupt ending in the last 5 minutes. Not structured terribly well. And yes, you have the usual people doing dumb things to move the plot along.
So, yeah, not a bad idea at all and some very good atmosphere with great potential, basically all wasted on a rather poor effort.
Mirror Mirror (1990)
Very disappointing... I was really looking forward to this Karen Black Horror film. Sadly, it is very poorly done, poorly acted and directed...
Yeah, I was indeed looking forward to this movie due to Karen Black being in it. I guess the premise about the mirror although not exactly original is fine. But, as with any film, it needs a strong director, decent writing, and at least acceptable acting to carry it off. This one unfortunately has none of these.
The acting/direction I feel takes the biggest hit due to really, really poorly portrayed characters. Now, a GOOD director can still take these less than stellar performances, even poor writing, and by being a good director they can at least shape and form the performances to bring the best out of them. Not so in this case.
The acting is SO bad, seriously... The woman who runs the shop is absolutely horrible. The daughter is not that great, and even the great Karen Black's performance is super over the top. Yes, I know her character is meant to be that way, but it is SO damn superficial and not done well, that again I think if the director had had any true talent at all, at least she could have evoked a much better performance with such an established actress. The final blame for the performances, especially when dealing with experienced actors, falls primarily on the director.
The interactions between the rival students is pretty bad too. And then, the first true Horror scene (not counting the intro) with the daughter in bed and is visited supposedly by her dead Dad, is done SO terribly that quite honestly at that point it was very clear that this was not going to be a very good film at all.
Normally I don't go out of my way to leave negative reviews and I did at least give this a '4' (Don't know exactly why...) but, with such anticipation of Karen Black being in this movie and also the fact that I rather like Horror films about mirrors (the one with Kiefer Sutherland is actually quite good!) really left me very disappointed. So, I felt that perhaps I'd leave my honest impressions here so that someone else who may also be looking forward to a better movie might at least have some insight as to what to expect.
Better director - Better acting
Better director - Better movie
In my lowly and wretched opinion this director seriously did NOT know what the hell she was doing... Sad, but true I feel...
The Dead Center (2018)
Well made and effective, but it is NOT a 'Fun' movie...
Others have referred to 'THE AUTOPSY OF JANE DOE' as a similar film. Well, as I mention in my title and this is a good comparison towards that, 'TAOJD' is a 'Fun' Horror film. This one is not...
BUT... even though I personally didn't really care for the tone of the movie, and, quite honestly, some of the acting was pretty dodgy, especially the woman doctor, and I REALLY did not like the constant ULTRA-close ups, I still have to give credit that it is indeed a VERY unsettling and I felt disturbing movie.
Heh, but FWIW, for my personal taste I don't watch Horror films to be unsettled and disturbed, at least not usually. I like to be 'Entertained' and for me I like my Horror movies to be somewhat a bit more on the 'Fun' side. Creepy is great! But. Relentlessly disturbing for me is not...
So yeah, I'll give it a '6' because for those who happen to like this type of more 'Realistic' and gritty type Horror film, I feel it probably accomplishes what it sets out to do. It just isn't my kind of Horror movie that I enjoy.
So, like I have mentioned many, MANY times in other reviews where people here have totally trashed a film just because 'They didn't like it', but it was a well made movie, I am not going to do that : )
If you like your Horror films where they are truly unsettling and almost what I feel is depressing, then yeah you might 'enjoy' this one. Just not really my kind of thing...
Cabin Girl (2023)
Once you get past the 'Hipster' Vlog stuff, the movie is actually made quite well...
Basically that. I really don't care for films based upon the conceit of vlogs or online influencers and all the 'hip' comments and likes, etc. Just not my thing. BUT... once you get past all that, and I can see how it was somewhat integral to the story, the way the plot proceeds is actually done quite well.
The acting is excellent and the writing I feel was sharp. The reactions of the people helping here I thought were quite genuine. Usually in a film like this it is the poor acting that really kills it, but not in this case. At the beginning I admit I was FF it through all the YouTuber stuff, but when I got a ways into the story I slowed down and as I watched I did get more and more drawn into a rather strong Mystery of what the hell was happening.
It actually turned out to be a very good Psychological Thriller with good Horror elements. Like I say, MOST times with movies that try to do something like this, usually the acting/writing just isn't that good. But, in this case as the mystery drew you in deeper and deeper, I really found it quite gripping and very much intrigued to know what was going on.
So yeah, if you are like me and all the 'Hipster' online stuff makes your eyes roll back to the back of your head, stay with the story and you'll find that the original online conceit fades a bit more into the background as the actual story of what is truly happening becomes more apparent.
I'm glad I stayed with it, even after rolling my eyes and FF the movie a few times at the beginning, because at the end I felt it was actually a very clever idea and that the filmmakers did a very good job in putting it together, along with quality acting throughout. If you like a good mystery and if you can get through the first 15-20 minutes or so, once the 'accident' happens, from that point on I think you may very well find this quite an engaging and mysterious Thriller.
Abigail (2024)
Just F'n Brilliant! Seriously... Extremely well done. Truly one of THE best Horror films I've seen in awhile (and no, I don't work for the filmmakers : )
Just that...
I know this is going to sound like all those spurious reviews and I apologize for that : ) You can always check out my other reviews and how many I've done to see that FWIW, I am indeed a genuine run of the mill reviewer here.
Wow... the atmosphere, the acting, and especially the writing was very, very sharp! Just tons of fun. Thankfully, it does seem like many did feel that this was a very good film. True quality, at a level you just don't see very much these days. Usually, what passes for 'Horror' is just wall to wall violence or self-referential 'Hipness', but this is just a great, well done, VERY entertaining, almost Old-School throwback to great movies like 'FRIGHT NIGHT' and 'THE LOST BOYS' but more intense, but with the same sense of Fun!
That's it... Normally when a film has this many reviews I usually don't bother writing another one. But, this was such an enjoyable, well put together movie, that I absolutely had to come here and throw in my lowly and wretched opinion.
Oh yeah... If you like good quality, well written and well acted Horror films that have a great sense of fun (as opposed to just relentless sadistic killing and violence for its own sake) and you like a really good, Gothic visual style, I can't help but think you will really enjoy this one.
Rise of the Scarecrows: Hell on Earth (2021)
Uh... Yeah... '10'... Uh huh... Okay then...
Just to join the others here who mention the clear attempt to, uh, how shall we say... Overrate the movie. To put it mildly.
Heh, all you will need is to see is literally the first 3 minutes and I kind of think you just MIGHT get the idea that this film does not dwell or even visit anywhere NEAR the '10' neighbourhood. Again... putting it very mildly.
Probably no need to go into a lot of detail, because as I mentioned I'm pretty dang sure just about ANYONE will get the idea as to how 'well made' this movie is almost immediately. Um... let's see now... How about the 'acting' to use the word very, very loosely. Whew... let's see, what word can I use to best describe the performances here... Hmmm... how about...
BAD!!! 😁
Anyway, not gonna waste a lot of time on this one, but when I saw even the current 5.x rating I immediately knew something was amiss. And yeah, sure enough, out of the current 7 reviews, WOW, there are 3 '10' ratings! Wow...
Nope... '3' is about it people. Sorry, to the filmmakers, I know it's very difficult and a lot of work to get these movies made, but... uh, no... '3'...
Yi ngoi (2009)
I'm all for slow, moody, ambiguous films, but... Sorry folks, the ones rating it around a '5' are indeed right...
I honestly wanted to like this one, it is somewhat moody and slow and ponderous, which I normally don't mind if it is done well. Take David Lynch for example, to whom this movie is likened... Now he does that kind of thing probably better than anyone else I feel because he reaches right down deep into the subconscious, and even though one might not consciously understand exactly what is going on, there IS indeed a powerful atmosphere and you do really feel a tugging at your subconscious which can affect you rather deeply.
BUT... this movie here sort of tries to do that. Technically, it is put together really well, and the acting is fine. Even the basic idea of this special group who arranges 'Accidents' is intriguing. Unfortunately though, in my lowly and wretched opinion, there just isn't enough true substance behind it. Or... if it had even half of the kind of deep atmosphere that Lynch can create, then this could have worked better as more of an 'Art' film. But, I honestly feel that it simply just doesn't have enough going on to do that.
I usually don't mind 'Slow'... But, this one is really, REALLY SLOW, but without any underlying mood or strong enough vibe to make it truly interesting. Yes, the story and plot ultimately are quite good, and the running time most thankfully isn't drawn out unnecessarily which I feel would indeed have made it quite a bit worse. BUT... when all is said and done it really just comes across as very slight and I'm sure more superficial than the filmmakers intended.
There just is not enough characterization to interest you in the people. And, there also is simply not enough going on surrounding the intriguing concept I feel ultimately to make it truly satisfying or honestly in any way really entertaining. Just not much 'there' there...
So, I can see how some might be able to 'tune in' to the VERY mild and extremely understated vibe here and possibly enjoy it more so. But, to me the bottom line is that if you are going to make a story that is this extremely slow and somewhat mysterious, you absolutely HAVE to have more going on, at least in creating a substantial, palpable mood of some kind in order to justify the rather slight things that are happening on the actual screen.
So, yeah, because of what I felt was a pretty strong deficit in the result, despite a very intriguing idea, I really could only give this a '5' It wasn't awful, but I truly think it will leave many feeling like there is nothing much really there when it is over...
There's Something in the Barn (2023)
Okay... With all these hyper-polarized reviews, here's where I see the balance...
Everyone is pretty much saying the same thing here and most of it is either negative or comes across as very falsely positive.
Here is my basic take on it. First and foremost, it should have about 20 minutes cut out of it, it is WAY too long for what is mainly a one-trick movie. If they had simply tightened up the last 30 minutes or so, I think it could have made a BIG difference.
Also, there are honestly some very funny moments in this film and some sharp writing. So, I think the basic elements are here for a pretty good, fun, entertaining Christmas Horror/Comedy. Even the actors, especially the Dad, did very well. The Dad in his pure ineptness just makes you laugh. Not as masterful as Chevy's Griswold, but pretty good.
The thing is if you are going to try not only a Horror/Comedy, which is fairly difficult to pull off as it is, you do need the sharp writing and acting, which you do indeed have here. BUT... by dragging it out for WAY longer than it should have been, it unfortunately really dilutes the impact of both the Horror and the Comedy.
I gave it a '6' because I do think the writers/creators had a clever idea and excellent elements for a good movie and the writing genuinely made me laugh. But, I feel that if they had been far more judicious with the editing and runtime, this could easily have been a strong '7'
What I think is good too, at least for me personally, is that it doesn't go too much over the top with the violence and then try to force the audience to laugh at it. That is what I feel they did wrong with the film 'ONE VIOLENT NIGHT' or whatever it is called. They pushed it to where it was edgy, but didn't (literally) bludgeon the audience with it. So, to me it was a good balance with the stronger emphasis on the humour, which again actually is well written.
If you can appreciate the clever and truly funny humour and if you can be patient with the overlong runtime, and granted, if you even like this type of film, then there's a decent chance you will find a fair amount of it pretty fun and entertaining.
Something in the Dirt (2022)
Pretty much the same as almost everyone else here says...
Well, you must admit most of the reviews are consistent : )
Like many reviewers here, I'm a big fan of these guys' work. Even 'SYNCHRONIC' was very good despite some naysayers. But, this one... Honestly, I fully agree with what most of the reviewers who rated this movie a 4 or 5 here have said.
Just too disjointed... Believe me, I'm all for total Surrealism, David Lynch is one of my all time favourite living directors. BUT... you still have to have a story, atmosphere, mood, SOMETHING that ties together enough to present an entertaining movie.
As usual, the fellows are very clever, and the acting is excellent as always. There are many moments throughout which are creative and creepy and many other great things. The editing and cinematography are very well done. But, unfortunately what you end up with is simply not coherent enough or atmospheric enough to carry an entire film.
And lastly...
Who the hell financed this thing... Phillip Morris...? Winston...? Marlboro...? Camel...? I mean, COME ON GUYS...! I don't think I've seen a movie since the 1940's, 1950's Film Noir where everyone was bloody CONSTANTLY smoking, GEEZ! Now, I don't mean directly to diss people who choose to smoke, that is totally their business. BUT... for me personally, I found it rather insulting to the audience, bearing in mind what everyone well knows today about smoking, having the two guys LITERALLY smoking non-stop, every moment, every scene, all the bloody way through is not only pointless but irritating. I'm sorry, maybe it's just my personal feelings, but considering the public awareness today and the fact that most people simply do not smoke these days, the only way I can express it is that I honestly found it truly insulting to the audience.
It's almost like when you watch a movie (or a show) where every sentence by every person has like 20 'F' words in it. Not to be a prude or anything, but I feel it's the same principle. The average person just simply does not talk that way. And, I think it is the same with the wall-to-wall smoking throughout the entire film.
Anyway... Sorry to go on about that, but for two of the most clever, intelligent filmmakers going today, I just cannot see how they can justify why they would do that in this day and age. Unless of course, like I first said, their TOTAL financing came from the tobacco industry : )
So, back to the movie. Yes, clever, and YES very ambitious, but as an entertaining film, even for their die hard fans and even for people like me who really love Surreal films, sorry the sum result I don't feel is truly up to what these fellows are capable of. Like some others here have said and I agree... By far their weakest effort.
I'm giving it a rather generous '6' because of the sheer complexity and effort that went into it...
Cold Meat (2023)
This is the way you make a low cost Indie film. Very well done, extremely well acted and put together...
Basically that's it...
What a fantastic, totally suspenseful, and extremely well executed idea. As my title suggests, THIS is what can be done with very little and just some intelligent writing, smart direction, and outstanding acting.
Not giving anything away, but the core of the story is so good that quite honestly even without the tangential Supernatural aspect, it STILL would have been a great film. But, it does add a nice touch to the way things work out.
I haven't seen a movie done this well with pretty much only two characters and one VERY limited location that was so damn suspenseful and effective. That is a testament to the skill involved in putting together and pulling off something that is this powerful. YES, it is overall fairly simple, YES there is not a lot of 'Action' and stuff that many people need to keep their attention. BUT... what there is in my lowly and wretched opinion is an excellent demonstration of what can be done with a LOT of talent and not much else. This kind of quality I feel is quite rare these days.
I must also again stress how bloody GREAT the acting is. Particularly the fellow, but both do their job very well indeed. The expressiveness of the guy's eyes is just amazing. The way he conveys so many different moods and attitudes, just with his eyes, and in a VERY believable and effective way.
This movie is definitely better than the tepid 5.x rating is has now, oh yes... This kind of quality, whether you like this kind of story or not, is clearly evident. That is why I rated this film a strong and well deserved '8'
If you like movies with a simple setting, but with good, strong suspense, and you don't mind your Horror strongly character driven, you should indeed really appreciate this story as much as I did.
Resiklo (2007)
C'mon people... 2.9...? Seriously? Hey, for what it was it is a fun, exciting, good ol' Robot/Alien Smackdown...
2.9, really? I mean that is one of THE lowest scores I've ever seen for a movie here. I mean total trash and drivil gets rated higher than that.
Okay... this is no masterpiece. But, quite honestly, if you just take out some of the super Cheeeeezy dialog here and there, you actually have quite a fun Robot/Alien movie. Even the V effects I thought were quite good. Good stop motion on the robots, really good sets probably considering the money they had to work with. And, to be a 'Guy' (my apologies..) some really rather pretty girls if I may be allowed to say so. I think I fell in love with the blind girl, Lovely! : )
Anyway, with the real, genuine low budget garbage out there, how can this fairly competently made movie possibly be rated a 2.9? No way... And, I'm not one to be quite as forgiving for really low budget Cheeeezy movies as others are (I'm looking at you Leo 'Geek Legion of Doom') I honestly felt that for what this was that the filmmakers made a genuine effort to make a good film with an effective if simply story, good effects, and some really fun Robot/Alien action.
So, if you are a fan at all of somewhat low-budget Asian Sci Fi films that are made with some decent effort, and especially if like me you really dig some good Robot action, this movie truly has I feel a lot of fun, entertainment value and is FAR and above better than most of the REAL crap out there.
Due to the seriously egregious and completely unmerited low score, I gave this a generous '7' which for the way I rate films that means that for me personally it was a solid, fun watch.
I don't know what these jaded fools are expecting out there, like 'TRANSFORMERS' visual quality (this movie I thought was more entertaining than some of those multi-billion dollar Michael Bay travesties out there) but, graded by comparison to other similar movies, I would say that if you like this kind of Cheeeezy fun, but honestly done fairly well, there should be no reason at all that you shouldn't enjoy this one to some extent.
Sympathy for the Devil (2023)
A very powerful and entertaining film, especially for those who love Nicolas Cage. Truly no negatives here to speak of whatsoever...
I truly don't understand the completely unmerited 5.x score here. This movie I felt was made very well and the acting was excellent. Also, the way the story progressed, the filmmakers did a great job in not only entertaining us with Cage's unique performance, but also ratcheting up the suspense, Mystery, and intensity as time goes on.
I can't imagine what the hell people expect from a film these days, but at least for me personally a person who loves movies and has thousands of them, I saw absolutely nothing wrong with this one and found this one of the better ones I've seen of this type.
Also, not to give anything away, but let's just say there is MUCH more to this story than one may think, we'll leave it at that... : )
It is very well put together, directed, and written. Basically, this film is a must for those who enjoy a really well executed story with continually building suspense and some nice twists and turns.
I read one reviewer who stated that he felt the actor playing the main guy opposite Cage was somewhat plain. I wonder if this person watched the entire film because yes, at first, I kind of thought the same thing. BUT... that just ties into the clever progressive Mystery as the story goes on.
Also too, this isn't just some superficial, tossed off role with Nicolas Cage just doing his 'unhinged' thing... Oh no... As the Mystery unfolds you begin to understand why he is acting this way.
A most engaging, way above average Mystery/Thriller, definitely a VERY solid '7', even more if you really enjoy Nicolas Cage's performances.
Methgator (2023)
Okay, I know by leaving a review I am admitting that I saw this...
Oh well, what can you do... : )
Actually, even though I FF through the obvious Asylum filler, the action scenes were pretty 'good', using the term EXTREMELY loosely. The Redneck slapping contest was too much.
The only thing I can say honestly is that yes, this movie was actually much better than 'COCAINE BEAR' which I couldn't even finish. And, even at that, I can only truly give it a '4'...
I mean, what else can I possibly say. You frigg'n KNOW what you are getting into here, but I guess if you find this kind of thing funny you might get a tiny bit of entertainment out of it.
Oh, I'm gonna be a 'Guy' here for a moment... The main girl was quite shapely and kind of cute... until she opened her mouth... Okay... Guy stuff done, sorry... :D
You know... I downloaded 'SHARKS OF THE CORN' like 2 years ago or whenever it came out. I just could NOT pass up a name like that. But, to be honest, I haven't gotten up the courage actually to watch it yet...
Dream Scenario (2023)
Intriguing premise ruined by unnecessarily dragging down the film by a mean spirited and depressing tone...
Usually I don't bother writing reviews on films where there are so many already (200+ at the moment) but, I was so disappointed by the direction the filmmakers took with this otherwise excellent premise, that I honestly felt compelled to save others who might feel like I do the pain of dragging themselves through this...
Of course Nicolas Cage's acting is excellent as always, that is the ONLY reason I've even given this movie a '5' Basically, without getting into plot details or spoilers, the trouble with this movie and others similar to it that I really don't like, is it starts off with this light, quirky, somewhat funny vibe where the audience is lulled into the feeling that this is going to be not only an interesting film but a 'Fun' one. That starting tone is completely destroyed as the director/writers insist on dragging the poor hapless character through more and more increasing pain, apparently doing their utmost to demean and dispirit him as much as possible.
Usually with hapless characters like this, filmmakers generally show them dealing with different situations where they despite their perceived ineptitude still seem to come out okay, usually with fun or heartwarming experiences. The guys here have absolutely NO F'n interest in that or, in my lowly and wretched impression, giving the audience a good time whatsoever.
I can see that with this creative premise, they could have easily made the same movie but without all the violence and misery, which I feel quite honestly serves absolutely NO purpose at all except to make the Cage character suffer as much as possible. Also, usually with these kind of hapless characters the audience almost always feels sympathetic with them, which adds to their investment in the character and the story, especially with someone as gifted as Nicolas Cage. But no... not only do they do their utmost to destroy this guy, but also for no apparent narrative reason they also make him less sympathetic, which only adds to the unpleasantness.
I truly cannot state emphatically enough how I feel these filmmakers really screwed up what could have been a very good idea. I mean, they could have pretty much told the same story, even with the latter technical application of his phenomenon, but I see absolutely NO reason why they could not have presented it in a much, MUCH more pleasant enjoyable way for the audience. Without giving any details away, all they would have had to do was tone down the negative, more violent aspects of the later dreams which drags down the tone terribly and is simply not necessary to get the point across. Aslo, they should have portrayed Cage's character far more sympathetically to give the audience bloody SOMEONE to relate to and route for. But, no... Honestly, all these guys were interested in doing was to cause this already unsympathetic character as much misery and suffering as possible, to no end that I could see. Even if they had brought up the tone towards the end, but no... Even up to the last moment they had to brutalize him, which made absolutely NO point at all and accomplished nothing.
Like I say, as far as I'm concerned if they had just made these tonal changes and basically kept to the same story this movie could have easily been a quirky but fun and FAR more entertaining film for the audience to sit through.
To me, this was such a HUGE egregious assault of a film with the very poorest choices in tone and story possible. I don't know about you, but I go to movies to be entertained and this one easily COULD have been, but turned out to be a miserable, completely unredeeming, messegeless, descent into depression.
Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)
Only 2 good things about this film... James Cameron's beautiful sets, and a ship with tits. Well, I guess that's 3 things...
Honestly, that's it...
Period.
End of line.
It's so funny the EXTREME contrast of the sets, ships, and sometimes breathtaking design vs. The absolutely HORRIBLE dialog and action.
I mean, that ship with tits... Great idea! Seriously hilarious, if there is such a thing.
I don't know, I'm thinking that if you simply removed all the hideous dialog (especially the computers painfully annoying speech) and just went with the visuals, kind of a la '2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY' where you would have long stretches with just ships flying around and stunning vistas and almost no dialog for long periods of time. It's like if just MAYBE they had gone the more 'Artistic' route and dumped about 90% of the dialog, then you actually might have had something at least visually watchable and mildly, VERY mildly entertaining (even that would be a stretch...)
But hey, a ship with tits... You gotta love it...