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Reviews
FBOY Island Australia (2023)
Does my lawn need mowing.
Australia has been getting and producing some good stuff and some very poor stuff.
They've never produced anything this bad ever.
Sure some things are a matter of taste but this is just straight out sexist garbage and Foxtels phones and emails would blow up if they even thought of doing FGirl Island. Not to mention social media. So the show had 3 females and quite a few mostly near naked men from the girls to chose from hoping they don't pick a jerk who has entered the competition (show) for the appearance money.
Not a show for the thinking person and for me it makes house work seem very appealing instead.
PASS.
Under the Skin (2013)
Really bad
Just when I thought I couldn't find a worse movie than the last one.
I wouldn't really call this sci-fi, more like non hard core porn.
The entire movie (not in brief) is a supposed alien arrives and assumes the body of a woman who kills another woman and steals her clothes.
She goes seeking me.
Finds a man and lures him to her lair and his penis is erect so he's doomed to oblivion. Finds another man who's penis is also shown erect and suffers same fate etc. She finds a man who is deforms facially and his penis won't erect so he is spared.
Finds a man who she likes and decide to mate with but discovers she's not anatomically built for that so she flees.
The last man hunts her and attacks her reasonably unsuccessfully and she escapes but her wounds are too great so she removes her human skin to perish.
An absolute load of crap probably only made to get erections past the censors under the guise of 'art'.
Sous la Seine (2024)
Perhaps Lame Comedy Genre
So setting the scene.
A group is tagging a 2.5m Mako shark
In a matter of weeks due to climate change and plastic in the ocean it grows to 7 metres.
It kills the main character's diving team so she free dives in to help, gets dragged 500m down, frees herself and swims up to the surface not looking like a microwaved potato.
Soon after she meets kids who have a group who have been tracking the 7m shark and announce it's in the candles of Paris, mutated to become a freshwater shark once again due to global warming, climate change, and eating plastics in the ocean.
The bad news isn't gets even more ridiculous from there.
Attack of the killer tomatoes movie finally has a challenger.
Fair Play (2023)
Woeful
As a couple we watched this and both thought it was total rubbish.
The story, the acting, the directing is extremely poor. The ending is more stupid than the one in attack of the killer tomatoes, which is saying something. Casting was ok but that didn't really matter considering what they had to work with.
Netflix in Australia were boasting its alleged popularity which is often done when they spent money on something and they are not getting the return.
I can't really add anything else in a positive light so with just leave this review with advice to not watch it unless you like to watch a movie and say 'I want that 90 minutes of my life back!'
Babylon (2022)
Overhyped a fair bit
Was not quite what I expected.
Like a few other more recent big production movies, there is more production than substance. It's over three hours long and for me would have worked better if it was around two hours and there was a lot of fill in stuff in there not really all that relevant to the story.
As mentioned production was very good, music was good, cast was suitably cast. It was very much carried by Margot Robbie who seems to take whatever part she is handed and manages to pull it off extremely well, even in a poor movie.
It is worth a watch and I am not knocking it, though it does drag on being so long.
Star Trek: Strange New Worlds (2022)
Best franchise since the original
Being a fan of the original series which was one of my earliest shows I watched, I've struggled with most of the franchises, especially Discovery which was everything Star Trek is not meant to be. Picard was better than next generation and whilst was ok, was just pretty good. Voyager had only the Dr & 7 of 9 to save it from the fire pit, and Enterprise was also watchable but not overly enjoyable.
This one they got right. Cast is good, story isn't overly complex and it doesn't get lost, bogged down or go off on some political tangent at the exclusion of its fan base.
I watched all episodes of 3 seasons back to back on a long haul flight which made it also an enjoyable flight.
If you used to like Star Trek give this one a go and don't let previous failings deter you.
No spoilers or hints in this review sorry.
Mary Magdalene (2018)
Quite well done
Very interesting cast selection in this movie which ended up working well.
It's a very abridged version and slightly different to what we have been previously told about a couple of years in the life of Jesus Christ the messiah through the eyes of Mary Magdalene.
It was quite well done though wasn't very fast moving as you'd expect.
Only knock was on production with low sound at times and quite darkly lit scenes and it jumped forward a lot which I guess was to stop it dragging more as it's around 2hrs long already.
Having said that it's not a reason to avoid watching it.
Definitely worth checking out.
White House Plumbers (2023)
Expected more but it's quite watchable
Whilst I saw all 5 episodes out, I was a bit disappointed. That's not to say it's bad, if just didn't live up to expectations.
Acting was fine, storyline somewhat embellished etc so there's no real knock on it.
It doesn't get bogged down either. So can't really say anything negative about it, other than it was somewhat politically biased, but not enough to turn it off.
Storyline was written by way of inept former CIA agents trying to stay employed who came up with a number of schemes in the lead up to the election and got the green light for the only totally non insane plan to bug the opposition.
Worth a watch, just don't expect too much.
Love & Death (2023)
Olsen pulls it off brilliantly.
Wasn't going to watch this one as I remember the case, but glad I ended up watching it.
Whilst it does swing away from some of the facts it's not going to affect many viewers.
Elizabeth Olsen should win some award for her acting in this as she did a brilliant job to carry the show across seven episodes. This isn't a knock on the rest of the cast, just it was all about her. She plays a psychopath perfectly and should be first choice to play Hilary some day.
Quick recap - woman has affair with a friend from church which ends after he and his wife go to a church marriage encounter weekend. This doesn't sit well and after his wife asks if she's having an affair with her husband the wife ends up being hacked with an axe 40 times. After 3 months of denying killing her, evidence then suggested otherwise so she decides then to claim self defence after being charged.
Perry Mason (2020)
More like Columbo
Like others have written this reboot is nothing like other Perry Mason versions and should come with a viewer discretion note as is in no way a family viewing series due to several scenes of a brutal nature and irrelevant nudity.
Perry Mason reminds me more of Columbo more than Perry Mason.
This first series and first two episodes of series two can move at glacier pace at times, so the viewers patience is required and may be tested at times but it does get there in the end.
I'm not going to cover synopsis etc as lots of other reviewers have already covered it.
So if you're looking for something to watch and can't decide then it's worth a crack, just don't get too excited in anticipation.
Nope (2022)
Nope means nope
People bagging people for poor reviews yet expressing praise for diversity are reviews not worth reading as those reviews aren't based on the movie just how it was cast and is quite condescending.
No issues here with the cast as such though the lead female takes the prize for the most annoying character I've seen in 2023, plus her acting is poor. Lead male's acting isn't much better.
Most of the acting is quite poor, the writing does it's best to match that. Cinematography does its best to match as well. Background music is ok.
Struggling to find any positives here from an unbiased point of view as they drew it out so long it became painful and I couldn't tolerate it to the conclusion.
The title answers the question, just say nope.
Upper Middle Bogan (2013)
Entertaining and enjoyable but not LOL
Joys of reviewing comedy is that different people have different funny bones.
A lot of reviews have it as side splitting comedy which I did not find, it was funny though and watched 1 season per day.
Correction from other reviewers for overseas viewers outside Australia is that it bears no resemblance in any way to Modern Family, other than lacks political correctness. I can compare it to an overseas show though it's more like Colin From Accounts, A Moody Christmas, etc. Needless to say it's very Australian with some very Australian language you'll need to look up possibly before watching. For example bogans means an uncouth or unsophisticated person regarded as being of low social status.
Give it a go as it's quite watchable unless you're a political correctness person perhaps. Ironic as the show originally aired on a now PC Network.
You People (2023)
How could this cast fail?
This one from the ads etc you'd think would be good, but it failed big time.
Eddy came across as a racist and intolerant and for the first time wasn't funny
Julia who was annoying in Seinfeld came across as a try hard ignorant fool and wasn't funny either.
Their spouses David and the other person played the straight person so to speak ok but had nothing really funny to bounce off so also failed.
Of course they went with the turn around and happily ever after to end the movie which also didn't really work.
If you have seen the trailer, well that is about as funny as it gets. You'll thank me for saving you wanting that 105 minutes of your life back.
Devotion (2022)
5.5 / 10 Just scrapes into good category
One of those movies if you've read the book or know the story behind it, then you'll not be thrilled watching the movie, though that's not uncommon.
For me it didn't focus on some very important parts and weighed heavily on other issues which were already quite clearly brought to light.
It's more of a personal drama story than an action war movie and sadly got a bit Hollywood glossed, but happily they didn't woke it up as is common at the moment.
So if you've not read the book and aren't expecting an action war movie and can get passed some very average acting and story faults and don't mind a medium paced quite watchable movie, hit play.
Mother/Android (2021)
Got quite boring
Pass on this one
It's very slow and was hard to stay interested
It started off ok but wandered around more lost than the characters.
Story and acting was so so at best, but not rubbish.
I expected a lot more out of this but it fell well short.
It's the usual people build androids to fulfil tasks and they become self aware and break free and rebel.
The ended was really poor as well so no chance of it redeeming itself.
It's not really sci-fi other than it has Androids and is more about a couple's journey whilst she is nearing the end of her pregnancy term as they flee from their home in search of a safe life for their future. Thanks.
Bosch and Rockit (2022)
Aussie Export Movie
I'll start with the bad, not many people say tucker instead of food in Australia. Some of the slams was a put off, though it was made for the international market I assume.
Film location says Byron Bay here and yes some was but mostly filmed at Brunswick Heads and other places including The Stand at Coolangatta, so if the movie inspires you to book a holiday the main shops and Sails Motel are at Brunswick.
Cinematography is excellent and they take full advantage of the scenery on the NSW north coast & south QLD.
The acting is good for that type of Aussie movie.
Without adding spillers or repeating what other reviewers have written, it covers some social issues regarding parenting, and also Pottsville (yes there really is a place by that name and nature) lifestyle.
The movie is easy to watch, doesn't bog down anywhere but there is a severe language warning for younger viewers plus drug references.
Definitely worth a watch.
Stone Bros. (2009)
Funny as, but it's real Australian not the usual export
I don't get the bad reviews, but maybe this one struggles to translate to some of the over mesas market.
This is a very Australian comedy and not your usual export stuff so it will be very much an acquired taste.
Cast was excellent and worked well together. Not much in the way of big names but there were a couple of well known faces playing smaller roles.
Probably the most I've laughed in a movie in quite some time.
I'm brief an Aboriginal Elder decides to teach a couple of young fellas responsibility by giving them this very special rock which they must keep safe for a period of time and where ever they travel. They are then required to return it safe and sound when uncle calls for it back. What could go wrong with a couple of stoners hanging onto a rock and returning it safely?
Avatar: The Way of Water (2022)
Has to seen at the cinema
Took my young grandchildren to see this at the movies which was a risk being such a long movie, but they sat there glued to the screen the whole time.
I also found it enjoyable.
My only knock was dragging out the ending a bit much.
The visuals were stunning, even more so than the first one.
Story touches on many issues which would normally draw 'woke' comments for some parts but they did it in a way that such comment is not applicable.
Hard to judge the acting being avatars and not humans. Although it's more an experience movie than an academy award winning masterpiece (which aren't usually done these days for the general public to enjoy)
If it's still screening go see it as it won't be the same on a TV.
Totenfrau (2022)
Too annoying
I don't rate this one as well which is strange as from the write up and some of the reviews I thought I would.
I tried switching to subtitles but that didn't help much.
I found it self indulgent and unrealistic especially when it came to fights the female lead had with much larger men and always won.
A lot of the acting wasn't great but certainly wasn't helped by the English dubbing.
Scenery looked nice but there wasn't a great deal of that.
Story wasn't original and rehashed the secret society (albeit a small group) using imported girls for rough sexual rituals ending in death and her revenge against them for it and she blamed them for her police officer husband death.
Vikings: Valhalla (2022)
Didn't care about much in the way of facts.
Oh dear, where to start
It lost me with the female who's family travelled from Africa and she ended up being Viking village leader.
I get that Netflix and a lot of other organisations wish to present an inclusive cast story etc, but when they're trying to be real and do that it leaves viewers scratching their heads.
Seems other parts of history and facts aren't really relevant and it's more about how people feel. Came across as a BBC or ABC (Aus) with a bigger budget type series.
As for the acting and remaining part of the story, for the most it was passable. Scenery was about the best part of the 2 series I've suffered through so far.
Mothering Sunday (2021)
Not for the thinking person.
It's rare to find a movie where you can't saying at least one or two good things about it. This is one where I can't say one good thing about it.
There's probably only one demographic this will appeal to. This is one of the few movies I've turned off halfway through as it was little more than women watching men get dressed after sex and talking rubbish.
There is probably little more I can add to this to fill the character requirement for a review other than it's very shallow, poorly acted, poorly written, poorly cast and will really only appeal to people who watch movies for nudity with no substance.
Black Panther (2018)
Where do I start? Fail?
This is a hard film to review, not because it was so bad but my I tension isn't to upset the virtue signalling readers.
I've read a few other reviews and not sure if they're bots or box tickets, but it is anything but 'all inclusive' as several other reviews somehow manage to claim.
It's very exclusive and if things were reversed it would receive so much criticism it wouldn't have lasted long in the cinemas.
Additionally it's surprisingly so poorly done to the extent it was hard to stay awake rather than escape with closed eyes.
Marvel are usually hit or miss and often more on the miss side.
Having said all that my 8 and 12 yo grandchildren thought it was ok, though they too found it hard to stay interested.
Star Trek: Picard (2020)
Redemption Franchise
I was surprised watching this as I was never a Patrick Stewart fan and thought Next Generation was rubbish and only Data was a well acted and a decent character.
This franchise redeemed Star Trek after the awfully exclusive Discovery which alienated its long term fans who appreciated Star Trek's inclusivity (without the politics)
Picard was mostly not in space or on a space station but on earth for something different and delved into the time line continuum type story.
They gave lots of cameos to previous cast across a few franchises and also brought in a few from other sci-fi shows.
This isn't ground breaking sci-fi or a relaunch of Star Trek but is very watchable as I was able to watch 2 series in 7 days. Pretty much the only knock was it kept going back and forth into his childhood too randomly and way to often.
A Moody Christmas (2012)
Very Aussie
Great to see a little series that wasn't afraid to be itself.
If your shows and movies have to be PC box tickers with all subsequent cliches then steer well clear if this one as it is very much a Australian larrikin fun.
Quick overview is it's about several Christmas days of a very dysfunctional family focused on one son who moved to London and comes back every year.
It's very Aussie, somewhat 'wrong' in many ways and on many levels but that's it's charm. It may seem a bit dated being a decade old but it has stood the test of time. It's more chuckle funny than side splitting which works well as they haven't over tried which is also what makes it work.
Colin from Accounts (2022)
Contender for best Rom/Com
The genre is a bit deceiving as it's defiantly a romantic comedy, albeit somewhat different to the usual.
This isn't my genre but will review it fairly.
The humour is quite Australian and rather offbeat, some of it delving into toilet humour, literally more than once.
Unfortunately they went with the male nudity as comedy which then guides it back towards being more a chick flick as it's not actually funny and fails badly.
The cast is very average looking which is also a plus and a lot of the content delivery is very dry, which combined makes it work quite well.
It's in no way intellectual humour, but it's not the corny rom/com attempt.
Plot is basically not meets girl over a dog being hit by a car which between them they are stuck with. Fairly quickly they want to hook up but neither can get over themselves or other things in their lives so this process is very prolonged.
Nothing flash (pardon the pun) but very easy to watch when you want something light hearted. Well worth a look.