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Gotham Knights (2023)
This is garbage
The big question surrounding the pilot episode is "Who killed Bruce Wayne?". But most of us DC fans are wondering who are these people? The only one I know is Harvey Dent. Where is Alfred? When did Bruce Wayne adopt a kid named Turner Hayes? Who is Bluebird? Who is Spoiler? Who is the brother that doesn't have a code name? Since when did Joker have a daughter? Who is the CW marketing this too? The writing alone is flaccid and uninteresting. They write a hacker into the mix without any knowledge of computers. The hacker types really fast on a keyboard to make magic happen. It's so cliche and ridiculous. The world discovers who Batman is and not one cop goes to Wayne Manor to search it? Who green-lit this garbage? Terrible acting, boring people, trope diversity, and no real storyline. It's become a staple for the CW. Hard pass on this one. Don't bother, it's unwatchable.
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Where exactly were the military advisers to point out the obvious flaws?
Nostalgia is awesome and reliving fond memories is always a treat. But a return to 'Top Gun' is just laughable. Have you ever walked into someone house and noticed how everything is pointed at their television? Make the TV Tom Cruise and everything in the house the "supporting cast", and there you have this production. It's unemotionally sad. I don't expect quality from a Jerry Bruckheimer production, and God knows I've never heard of this director, but this was far below the nadir of my expectations. A little reminder, 'Top Gun' was a blockbuster back in its day, but it was never brilliant, edgy, nor even memorable as a good movie. It was a guilty pleasure for the revved up 1980's crowd of excess to feel proud about during the 4th of July. Needless to say, it was a huge action film for anyone chanting "America" at fireworks. The point of its longevity belongs to the gay subtext Quintin Tarantino famously describes. The bashing of how-bad-a-film it was is legendary and continues on several social media sites. Today's tech-savvy sophisticated audience will never believe (reading the 10 star reviews) that this is the "greatest movie ever made". The plot was absolute garbage. It's a script that is pieced together from catchphrases, old panning shots of military aircraft, recycled aerial footage from 'The Transformers', and most notably the 'Star Wars' trench run. Seriously, they took apart the original 'Top Gun' (sans the homoerotic subtext) and pretended it was something fresh for today's audience. We have Pete Mitchell as the oldest test pilot in history still going by the callsign Maverick after 30+ years. The unnamed enemy jets introduced in the last frames because real writers would put production over budget. It's just a gross mischaracterization of entertainment. Where exactly were the military advisers to point out the obvious flaws? In my opinion; this is a film with a lot of cash thrown at it to feed the vanity of someone who can't get enough of themselves. I need not play Devil's Advocate here and point out this film was made to ego-stroke a bad actor who wishes he could be Robert Redford.
Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (2019)
uhg
There isn't entertainment value in watching a delusional entitled moron. If you like the Kardashian prepaid self-promotional nonsense then I'm sure you'll watch every single commercial that comes with Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club too. Dear God, please stop putting cameras on terrible human beings. I don't care how much money these uninteresting garbage balls throw at you, stop putting them on TV.
The Conners: Keep on Truckin' (2018)
What happened to Roseanne's show?
While 'Roseanne' has always been a voice for the blue-collar worker, Season 10 was an honest explanation for why voters choose a moron for President of the United States. Instead of remaining a voice for the people 'The Connors' assimilated to the current wave of ire and petulance beset by the media. A far-left distilled ideology which allows censorship of opposition & free speech through television, social media, and social gatherings. I grew up loving the 'Roseanne' series because it warred against the idea of censorship. If you told Roseanne that she couldn't say or do something, you could count on her to make it happen. This show as carried on by Sara Gilbert, is anything but that. It's a broken narrative of story-telling wrapped in the pretty bow of politcal correctness. The magical thinking of liberals made real using my favorite show. I feel sad and sick. This was unbelievable gloomy and dark. Joking about their dead mother? Who does that? It was like they were mocking her.
The Conners: Tangled Up in Blue (2018)
Already Gimmicky
It isn't uncommon for tv or film to use an actor that connects one of the cast with an old reference, like 'The Connors' has done with the Juliette Lewis cameo. Both Lewis and Johnny Galeki appeared as brother/sister in 'National Lampoon's Vacation' way back in 1983. I liked the character of Blue. She's the oppositie of Darlene, which gives the "dark" depressive something to counter. It makes sense that David is dating someone so much older than him too, because he's always sought a mother-figure. Roseanne Connor being the obvious mother-figure in the original series 'Roseanne and Juliette Lewis does resemble Sally Kirkland, who played David's mother. Unfortunately the writing still suffers like the first episode, although admittedly not as dejected as Episode 1. Without Roseanne Barr's input with the show, I can't see it lasting half the season.
I Love You, America: Dolores Huerta (2018)
It Was Surprising
The focus of the show was about feminism, which began as a look back to the Women's March protest surrounding the election of Donald Trump in 2017. Sarah pointed out how black feminists were upset about the attention white feminism received and she went from being angry about their division to understanding how black feminists felt. Although Sarah mistakenly believed the issue was over the lack of recognition & representation of the work black women have carried out across several decades. In reality the disproval began with the money-backed organization of the event originally named 'Million Women March", and the wrongful appropriation of the 500,000 strong "Million Woman March" in Philadelphia 1997. Original slogans, speeches, and event posters were blatantly co-opted from the Million Woman March. I couldn't help but notice during Sarah's apology that she ignored the larger problem surrounding the march. Such as the alienation of intersectional feminists who were not supporters of Hillary Clinton. It was modern feminism denying a voice for other specific needs just to complain that their candidate didn't win. Sarah then visited a Mormon family in Wyoming as part of her promise to "connect with people who may not agree with her personal opinions". It was a long time coming considering her last visit with Conservatives was in October of last year. This was a wealthy family of cattle ranchers and voters of Donald Trump. During the discussion Sarah brought up the Russian collusion story spread by biased news organizations as fact. The invention of a Russian "troll farm" began after the infamous leak of Democratic National Convention emails. An event that in reality was leaked from the DNC by an anonymous source, as documented through Wikileaks and verified through Spiegel media. Some 10 million documents known as the US Diplomatic Cable Series are still being released. The individual discussion about the event was brushed aside to further conversation which I thought was incredibly mature of the family member engaged with Sarah. Most surprisingly was when Sarah Silverman agreed to shooting firearms with the family after dinner. I never thought I'd ever see such a boxed-in liberal holding a rifle, to say nothing of actually pulling the trigger and enjoying herself. Another surprise came with the interview with Dolores Huerta, one of the founders of the United Farm Workers (UFW) in the 1960's. It was strange to see Sarah admire a woman who carried heavy criticisms and spread false information against Bernie Sanders. As well, Dolores and labor leader Cesar Estrada Chavez not only fought to restrict immigration to the US, but adamantly campaigned to overturn the US and Mexico Bracero Program, a 1942 agreement that "guaranteed decent living conditions and a minimum wage for immigrant workers". Perhaps someone didn't research her history or maybe Sarah only knew Dolores from her "Sí, se puede" chant which inspired President Obama's own campaign battle cry? I'm so familiar with Democrats rewriting history that I might assume either Sarah had no knowledge of Huerta's background, or the more likely scenario that Sarah ignored them to fit current Democratic agendas.
The Conners (2018)
They completely ignored why we love Roseanne
I wanted this show to do well, because I do love the individual cast, although I'm disappointed in some members not standing behind Roseanne Barr. 'The Connors' is bluntly terrible. If I wanted dated-jokes, there's an ample supply of 'Anger Management' reruns still on air. Production was "off" (can't think of the right word for it), it just didn't blend in with the shows around it. It also dropped the ball on what Roseanne Barr was doing before PC intellectualism hijacked the series; While 'Roseanne' has always been a voice for the blue-collar worker, Season 10 was an explanation for why voters choose a moron for President of the United States. Instead of remaining a voice for the people 'The Connors' assimilated to the current wave of petulance beset by Millennials. The media distilled ideology which allows censorship of opposition & free speech through television, social media, and social gatherings. I grew up loving the 'Roseanne' series because it warred against the idea of censorship. If you told Roseanne that she couldn't say or do something, you could count on her to make it happen. This show as carried on by Sara Gilbert, is anything but that. It's a shameful broken mirror of good story-telling wrapped in the pretty bow of modern politics.
Star Wars Resistance (2018)
Terrible Stories And Josh Brener's Voice Makes My Nose Bleed
Every episode has the line, "But I ... I ... I'm not a mechanic!" This is a commercial in the vein of 1980's toy programs aimed at kids but for the Star Wars fandom. I'm not buying into it. Shame on you, Disney. Cheap - Easy - Thoughtless - This is the exact type of garbage that Disney produces now. It isn't Star Wars. There isn't any fun, but there are clumsy hijinks. There isn't any adventure, but there's always somebody promising one.
I Love You, America: Ai-jen Poo (2018)
This Isn't What I Paid For
With 'I Love You America' Sarah Silverman is "looking to connect with people who may not agree with her personal opinions through honesty, humor, genuine interest in others, and not taking herself too seriously". That definition of the show is vastly incorrect. Instead of meeting people who disagree with her, Sarah Silverman remains immersed in a Hollywood bubble. The wealthy millionaire from New Hampshire has created the longest political advertisment in US history. It's in her bubble where any conservative politician put on trial is guilty, while every liberal politician gets a free pass. Oft-times (like with Al Franken) they get a friendly interview on her show. Close male friends who claim to support women, only to learn they're hypocrites, makes Silverman feel sad, but it doesn't help her be woke about herself or the people she stands with. This lastest episode focuses heavily around women's issues, specifically the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. We see Chuck Schumer, Dianne Feinstein, and Dick Durbin demand a thorough FBI investigation based solely on the value of Dr Chritine Blasey Ford's word. Juanita Broaddrick was at the Kavanaugh hearings as well as Ai-jen Poo. When Juanita Broaddrick went to these same Senators with corroborating witnesses and evidence to prove her allegations; she was ignored. These are disengenuous people. This episode is largely the standard of what this show really is. Somehow Hulu has granted Silverman an outlet for Democrats to campaign. In doing so Hulu has cheated several of us with the old "bait & switch" tactic and I for one have grown tired of it.
Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors (2018)
Where's The Marvel? It's Too Disney For Me.
I'm showing my age here, but I'm also coming from a long history of loving Marvel toons. Synthetic music with digital instruments gives me headaches. It's so much commercialized content that 'Marvel Rising: Secret Warriors' becomes a perverbial shaking of the keys in front of a baby's face. It's flashy bright colors set to excess noise; if this were Japan you'd expect to read about the hundreds of cases of children going into seizures (Much like California's theater warning for 'The Incredibles 2'). It was as uncomfortable to watch as a ShamWow commercial, "HEY I'M YELLING REALLY LOUDLY SO YOU'LL LOOK UP AT THE TV!!!"
Secondly, just at a glimpse I couldn't help but notice the body transformation of Squirrel Girl. What was the point of giving her birthing hips? The Squirrel Girl I remember had a tiny frame which gave her action scenes against bigger villains a lop-sided battle that you couldn't help but cheer for her to win. People tend to root for the underdog, not the guy big enough to lift grown men off their feet. It came across like she was the bully in at least one scenario.
There wasn't much of a story here. It's basically hero-worship of older Marvel characters and living up to be just like them. It takes away from the individuality of the new characters origin stories. I saw this as one long movie edited from the shorts that wemade available. Maybe the idea was to get all of this information in small doses? I don't know. My experience was tiring. I didn't finish watching because there wasn't much there for me to care about. No mystery, no central element, and all commercial.
I Love You, America (2017)
Condescending
No one likes a patronizing self-centered person. And nobody likes celebrities liberal-splaining an everyday notion such as " Football players taking a knee to bring attention to black people being shot by the police." She believes republican voters think it's about protesting the flag or National Anthem. Sarah Silverman needs a wakeup call; This is a case of another millionaire so far removed from society that she has no idea what the common interests of everyday person are. She parrots what she sees & hears within her own bubble, and that bubble is blatantly self-serving. How about realizing that cops shoot blackwhitelatinoasiandogscatswhatever all the time? How about asking why the mainstream media only shows black people being killed on TV? - Remember how National Geographic only showed nude black people in their magazines? The answer lies in there. It's the same bigoted mind-set and Silverman is way too comfortable with it.
Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)
Please, bury this franchise.
Maybe I need to flip a coin, because I don't know which is worse; Giving 10 stars to promote the movie or giving 10 stars to save Tom Cruise's ego problems. Movies with pay-per-hype ratings are destroying the film industry by drowning their credibility. This franchise is a joke. Rating a movie before anyone has seen it is a dead giveaway. It's a repetitive, predictable, and has zero heart. This is an over-hyped, cliched, boring magic trick. 10 star reviews might trick people out of their cash, but it will also destroy careers and the industry creating bait & switch films.
Two years after the capture of a bad man; the remains of his organization reform into another all white terrorist group. Tom Cruise is given a mission to return stolen plutonium before they sell them to a "fundy". Tom recruits Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg for the mission. They fail when Tom chooses to save Ving's acting career over the lives of millions the plutonium will surely cause. They then decide to capture a nuclear weapons expert from a country that doesn't have a single nuclear power plant, because "Why not?"
CIA boss Angela Bassett instructs Mustached-Superman to secretly follow Tom Cruise while he tries to get the plutonium. But Tom easily recognizes Mustached-Superman without his Clark Kent glasses. Soon Tom and Mustached-Superman sneak into a fundraiser party for arms dealers together. They track a man they suspect is a "fundy", but that guy is killed by the Swedish lady from the other 'MI' movies (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). Tom quickly puts on the same terrible make-up disguise he uses in the other movies (a beard, but not one he's married to) and he meets up with another Swedish actress - the woman from Netflix's 'The Crown'. Tom warns her that terrorists have been sent to kill her and they run. Mustached-Superman tells Angela Bassett that Tom Cruise has always been the "fundy" he's disguised as. I went to the bathroom, because I had a Big Gulp an hour ago.
Here's where it gets really dull and stupid: In order to get the plutonium, the woman from Netflix recruits Tom Cruise to rescue that same bad guy he captured two years ago (The guy from 'The Borgias' ... kinda looks like an old Prince Harry). Coincidentally (or lasily) enough; the bad guy is in a the back of an armored van convoy right there in the same city as Tom Cruise. The Netflix chick gives one of the plutoniums to Tom as a payment, so at least he's accomplished 1/8 of his original mission. It was about here I wondered where the hell did Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg go? Tom and Mustached-Superman do a bunch of unnecessary stuff that becomes a car chase through Paris. Ving & Simon reappear to save the Borgias bad guy. That first Swedish lady from before comes back (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). She wants to kill Borgias to prove that she's loyal to the British CIA. But she doesn't, so I guess she's not. They rescue the bad guy and Netflix woman instructs the team to deliver the bad guy to London. I started looking at my watch wondering if it was ending - It was not.
In London, we learn that Alec Baldwin is the secretary of the Impossible Mission Force (IMF). Alec confronts Tom about being the "fundy". Tom denies it. Alec Baldwin gets knocked out. It ends and I don't know what the point was.
Tom, Ving & Simon trick Mustached-Superman into admitting he is the real "fundy". Apparently Mustached-Superman is working with Borgias guy and the terrorists. Let me try to explain this elaborate nonsense - They stole plutonium to get Tom Cruise branded as a nuclear terrorist. In reality Tom Cruise felt threatened by Mustached-Superman's goodlooks. Tom tells Angela Bassett, who instructs a United States team of agents to detain all of the United Kingdom agents. Tjhis movie is way too long. The CIA team has somehow been taken over by the terrorists and Mustached-Superman orders them to kill everyone. Mustached-Superman kills Alec Baldwin and escapes. Tom Cruise chases Mustached-Superman, but for all the running Tom does in everything he's in - he doesn't catch him. Mustached-Superman then threatens the life of one of Tom's estranged wives, Michelle Monaghan (She played Maggie in 'True Detective' - Oh, she did the voice of Wonder Woman in Justice League War' - neat).
The Tom Cruise Flunkies decide that the Borgias guy will detonate the two remaining nuclear weapons over a glacier and contaminate the water supply of China. With a third of its population affected, the Chinese will get mad and Borgias hopes Hollywood will stop using them to make their films overseas. Borgias activates the weapons and gives the detonator to Mustached-Superman. Tom Cruise pursues him in a helicopter, leaving Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, and Rebecca Ferguson (The nicer Swedish lady) to stay on the ground too watch Tom pressumably die in a helicopter, because that's how predictable the plot is. Ving Rhames and Wonder Woman find one bomb and poke it with a stick, but they are unable to defuse it. Rebecca Ferguson and Simon Pegg are also on the ground to worry about Tom when he eventually rams his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's invisible jet. They find the second weapon just as easily as Ving and Wonder found the other one, but they also capture the Borgias bad guy. It looks like the movie is rapping it up.
After a long waste of time ( as predicted) Tom Cruise crashes his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's aircraft. Both of them survive and start fighting on a cliff edge where Mustached-Superman is killed. It seems to me he could have just dies in the crash. Tom Cruise gets control of the detonator, allowing Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, and Wonder Woman to deactivate the bombs, because that's how simple and basic nuclear weapons work. Angela Bassett hands the Borgias dude over to MI6 through the Swedish lady who gave Tom some plutonium, which somehow earns the other Swedish woman her exoneration. Tom Cruise recovers recovers from his injuries with the help of vitamins and exercise while Wonder Woman and the other cast join him in victory. The credits roll and there's a warning that noone will stop making these movies - especially in China.
The Concessionaires Must Die! (2017)
Keep it simple.
I watched this movie on Spectrum Cable and was forced to turn the volume of my tv up to 100% just to hear it. Terrible sound quality. I wouldn't know if the same can be said for anyone else. This was my experience and I've never had the issues before.
This was a low budget movie with a large cast. It used a lot of references and flashbacks to famous movies and comic books in the plot. Some of it worked well on screen, but I think the flashback scenes should have stuck with old movie references. Adding comic book references took away from the story and was unneed complexity. The film is about concessionaires trying to save an old movie theater. It should have focused only on movies. The addition of comic books was probably because of Stan Lee's involvement as Producer and actor. The scenes remade from other movies were a hit and miss. I didn't get some of them because it bounced around from different eras. A black & white Charlie Chaplin to some 1970's rifs, and most of the 1980's. I wish they would have stayed in the 80's.
There was one very uncomfortable scene with Ashley unconscious from a drug overdose, and it didn't fit with the flow of the movie. It should have been left out. Which reminds me of another scene were Jon died. You expect him to die because of a previous voiceover, but it happens within a split second. Jon was slumped over in the movie theater and Scott yells, "Call 911". It was as fast as a jumpscare. The character was killed off to make an Obiwan Kenobi reference. The whole setup could have been shown with more thought. It's like the director didn't want to do the scene.
I don't remember how many people did the voiceovers. I think it was three. All I know is that it wasn't needed for the plot to unfold. Consider the original Bladerunner when Harrison Ford did the voiceover, and how much better the movie was when it was rereleased without it.
I liked bits of conversations between the characters. Some were talks I've had with my own friend, but the script focused on characters I didn't care about. I wanted to see more between RJ and Heather. I really liked the character Kira and I definitely liked the old wise man Jon. They were all very sweet and endearing, but the movie doesn't give them enough screen time. The character of Jon was more down to earth than Scott and he should have been the lead. Scott was too smarmy and sarcastic for a hero role. He came across like he was mocking the friends around him. Everything was a joke to him. He had a smirk on his face when he slapped his friend RJ out of a shyness attack. I also didn't like Ashley. The character was a former child star turned addict and she was bitter & cold. She treated her friends with indifference. I couldn't understand why Scott was in love with her other than superficial desires.
Writing wise this tried to be another Clerks. If this movie were more self-aware it might have succeeded as a comedy. It stumbled on too much detail rather than keeping itself simple. The movie had end credit bloopers which I usually enjoy, but not with a cast and crew of unknown actors. It might be funny for the actors to watch themselves. But for an audience member, I thought it was pretentious. This might be a good movie for a film school review. It has enough obvious errors as an educational how to.