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Pennies from Heaven (1981)
A well-done but perplexing and depressing film
Back in the late 1970s and early 1980s, there was no hotter comedian than Steve Martin. Critics and fans lavished praise on everything he did, even "The Jerk" (1979) and the TV special "Comedy is Not Pretty" (1980), neither of which I thought were even mildly amusing. Then, even after all of that comedic success, Martin inexplicably decided to star in the 1930s period musical "Pennies from Heaven". The movie predictably bombed at the box office, much to Martin's bitter disappointment.
The plot is pretty cornball, and follows the depression-era story of struggling sheet music salesman Arthur (Martin) and his affair with girlfriend Lulu (Bernadette Peters). Arthur dreams about success in his own private fantasies, and has trouble coping with the real world. As with many musicals, the actors break into song and dance continuously throughout the film, many times at really unusual moments. Finally, Arthur is arrested and condemned to death for a murder he didn't commit.
I should mention that I don't like musical films very much, especially movies like this with many spontaneous and elaborate musical numbers. That being said, the songs are very well acted and well-choreographed, plus the cinematography is excellent. In a really morbid touch, Martin sings his final song from the gallows.
The real challenge for the viewer is comprehending Steve Martin in this kind of thing. People were used to seeing him in silly skits with fake arrows through his head, not singing and dancing in a musical or appearing in dramatic and emotional scenes. The effect of seeing this film is akin to seeing Bill Murray play a dramatic role in "The Razor's Edge". It just doesn't work, although Martin and Peters try hard. Christopher Walken and Jessica Harper also appear in supporting roles.
Many critics praised the film, and many detested it. I watched it, and although I didn't hate it, it just wasn't my cup of tea. In fact, I so perplexed that I wasn't really sure what it was.
The Big Beat (1958)
Interesting if you like 1950s music
"The Big Beat" has something of a tiresome familiarity about it. There were a lot of movies during the mid- to late 1950s that had basically the same approach: some kind of lame background plot (in this case, intrigue at a record company), a few obscure B-movie actors, and numerous musical acts, which of course comprise the main focus of the film.
"The Big Beat" deals, more or less, with the efforts of John Randall (William Reynolds) to promote the recordings of his father's record company by taking a new business approach. Rose Marie and Hans Conreid are thrown into the mix, and Andra Martin and Jeffrey Stone provide additional support. There's an interesting twist ending that most viewers will see coming miles away.
The main interest here is the music, with Fats Domino, Gogi Grant, The Del-Vikings, the Diamonds, the Mills Brothers, and other acts highlighted. Some artists are good, some so-so, but the groups are interesting if you like 1950s music.
A footnote: many people who were involved with "The Thing that Couldn't Die" (Reynolds, director Cowan, Stone, and Martin) are also involved with this movie. The two films are nothing alike but it's an interesting factoid.
Leave It to Beaver: The Parking Attendants (1963)
As usual, Eddie Haskell messes up everything
Poor Wally Cleaver. Whenever he tries to do his best job at anything, his best friend Eddie Haskell manages to ruin everything. In this case, Wally has landed a job for himself and Eddie parking cars at a wedding ceremony, and the entire job is wrecked by Eddie through his signature carelessness.
Mr. Langley (played by Dick Simmons who also appeared in "Beaver the Caddy") has a daughter who is getting married, so he hires Wally and Eddie as parking attendants for the ceremony. Wally is very dutiful and efficient, but Eddie is careless and parks Fred Rutherford's car in a tow-away zone. The car is missing after the ceremony, and Wally tells Mr. Langley that because of Eddie's mistake they don't deserve to be paid. Eddie tries to weasel out of his responsibility because he never learns his lesson, but he's clearly the bad guy here.
Besides Simmons and Richard Deacon, the wonderful Kim Hamilton appears as a member of the catering staff. It's always frustrating to see Eddie mess things up for Wally, but this episode is well done and pretty funny in spots.
Leave It to Beaver: Wally and the Fraternity (1963)
Eddie Haskell spoils everything again
LITB season 6 episodes tend to focus more on Wally and his friends rather than the Beav. Wally was a high school senior by this time and was dealing with graduation and moving on to college, while Beaver was constantly struggling with unpredictable female classmates and his mischievous friends. Here, Wally is preparing for college at State and is trying to select a fraternity to join.
Wally asks Ward about Alpha Kappa, the fraternity his dad belonged to. Ward says it's one of the top houses on campus and offers to write a glowing recommendation for Wally and (reluctantly) for Eddie. The boys are all excited about Alpha Kappa when they run into former member Chuck Bradford at the malt shop. Chuck tells them that Alpha Kappa is a "pig house" and that he hates the place. After showing their reluctance to Ward, Eddie and Wally run into Mayfield High alum and college jock Ted (Don Voyne), who says that misfit Chuck was kicked out of Alpha Kappa and that the fraternity is a great place. Problems arise when Eddie admits he wrote a letter to Alpha Kappa saying he wasn't interested, leaving Ward to sort out another Haskell mess.
I think the LITB writers were beginning to run out of ideas after over 200 episodes, because this one again relies on the old "Eddie Haskell makes trouble" plot device. The writing is okay but the episode has a tired sense of deja vu because Eddie's hijinks are so familiar by now. Still, it was great to see the late Don Voyne (who had a short acting career before becoming a dentist), and Tony Dow was solid as usual. It's a decent season 6 episode but it's not one of the top ones from that era.
Leave It to Beaver: Beaver, the Sheep Dog (1962)
Adolescent insecurities meet "Glama-Spray"
Beaver, like many adolescents, is very insecure about his appearance. He makes the mistake of needling his classmate Shirley about her new hairdo, so she responds by calling him a sheep dog. Naturally Beav becomes self-conscious and obsessed with his hair, especially when Shirley continues to call him a sheep dog for days afterward.
Visiting the local drug store, Beaver discovers the miracle hair treatment "Glama-Spray", which is guaranteed to tame even the most unruly hair. Beav purchases two cans of the most powerful version of "Glama-Spray", which he then smuggles up to his room. Beaver appears at the dinner table with ridiculous-looking slick hair, inspiring Wally to laugh uproariously. So much for "Glama-Spray".
Later, Beav unwisely takes Eddie Haskell's advice to insult Shirley the same way she insulted him. This results in a crying fit by Shirley and guilty feelings by Beav, who issues a rather limp apology. This episode isn't that memorable, but you will get a kick out of "Glama-Spray" and its effects on Beaver's hair.
Leave It to Beaver: Beaver Becomes a Hero (1960)
A simple story becomes a fantastic and heroic tale
Most LITB episodes have a lesson or a moral, usually provided by Ward, June, or Gus the fireman. "Beaver Becomes a Hero" shows Beav what can happen when a simple story makes the rounds and becomes ridiculously embellished.
Beaver and Wally are fishing, with Wally showing his usual irritation at his young brother due to Beaver's short attention span and lack of enthusiasm. Unexpectedly an empty canoe drifts nearby, so Beav wades out to retrieve it. The boys find the owner's name on an oar and contact him, so the appreciative owner picks up the boat and promises Beaver a small reward.
Beav tells the story at school, where it makes the rounds among the other kids. By the time everyone is done with the story, it has morphed into something fantastic: Beaver swam a long distance to retrieve the canoe, and discovered that it belonged to a millionaire. What's more, the millionaire's ailing young daughter was aboard, and beaver saved her life!
Beaver simply lets the story get out of hand, and the outrageous tale ends up the newspaper, complete with a millionaire and his daughter, who supposedly was near death when Beav found her. Judy says that Beaver should confess to being "a big fat liar" but Miss Landers says the class embellished the story, not Beaver.
The story ends when an embarrassed Beaver receives a $5 reward from the owner of the canoe and thanks Beav for his new reputation as a millionaire. The story is mildly humorous with lots of laughs and a good lesson about the hazards of gossip.
Leave It to Beaver: Family Scrapbook (1963)
Disappointing series finale
I have always thought that this final episode (No. 234 of 234) is very weak and doesn't really do justice for this classic series.
The plot is simple: Ward and June find an old family photo album with pictures of various characters (Miss Landers, Larry Mondello and his mom, Eddie Haskell, and others). Joined by Wally and Beav, they reminisce and recount interesting stories with the aid of flashback footage of old shows.
A really good final episode would have Wally preparing for college and Beaver getting ready for high school, assisted and advised by their proud parents. The future plans of Lumpy, Eddie, Julie Foster, Fred Rutherford, and many other characters could be presented to the audience to provide a sense of closure.
Instead, the final insipid scene of this wonderful series has Wally and Beav playing with a little windup toy from Beaver's early childhood. I've always thought this was a really meaningless way to wrap things up. Anyway, it was good to see the Cleavers one last time, but the show could have been so much better, with a sincere and final farewell to the audience and to Mayfield.
Playboy After Dark (1969)
I guess you might appreciate this if you're old enough
"Playboy After Dark" lasted for 50 episodes in 1969-70. I lived in small-town Midwest during that period and no stations there would dare have touched this show, so I have discovered it in the past few years. Watching it is a nostalgic experience and it is interesting for the musical acts and other celebrity guests.
The standard formula has Hugh Hefner throwing a party for his guests. The show featured numerous musical acts (Fleetwood Mac, Sonny and Cher, The Grass Roots, Lesley Gore, Lou Rawls, and many others), comedians, beautiful women, and other celebrity guests. Some of the acts are just horrible (especially the comedians), some of the music is pretty good (although not always live), novelty acts like hypnotists and magicians are featured, and there are always famous faces around for star-gazers.
Among the guests are Don Adams (who was never funny), Peter Lawford, Rowan and Martin, Roman Polanski and Sharon Tate, Frank Sinatra, Gig Young, Meredith MacRae, Sammy Davis, Jr., Rich Little, and many, many others. The disappointing thing is that these entertainers were only sporadically entertaining, with many of the comedy sketches and music numbers falling terribly flat. In particular, Bill Cosby and Don Adams are far more irritating than funny.
I found myself being transported back in time to my early teenage years by watching this show from 1969-70, so on those terms the show is watchable. However, anyone under 60 should be prepared for a strange experience. Unless you like bad comedy routines, cringe-inducing lounge singers, inane dialogue, and card tricks by Milton Berle, you may want to watch something else.
Playboy After Dark: Episode #2.4 (1970)
Pretty weak, except Lesley Gore
I've watched several episodes of "Playboy After Dark" and they follow a familiar pattern. First, Hugh Hefner (in a tuxedo and smoking a pipe) is shown at a party visiting with various beautiful young women and guest stars. There's usually an irritating lounge singer to fill time (in this case Tommy Leonetti), plus there are well-known musical guests and comedians. Sometimes magic tricks are included, plus gimmicky acts like hypnotists or psychologists.
In this episode, the comedians are Don Adams and Arte Johnson. Both of these guys appear to have saved their worst performances just for this episode, because their routines are really, really bad. Fleetwood Mac (a 1970 version) doesn't impress with a kind of rambling and incoherent performance.
That leaves 23-year-old Lesley Gore, who despite being seven years removed from her "It's My Party" glory days delivers a good performance. She sings "Young Lovers" and "Didn't We" with grace and professionalism. It's too bad the rest of the cast was so unmemorable, because Gore is very good.
You'll note that these shows are quite dated, especially the condescending attitude of the men toward the women (it's the exact opposite today, of course). Many guests are smoking cigarettes like crazy. It is nice to see and hear Lesley Gore as she transitions from her 1963 pop recordings to a more mature performer. She's about the only reason to watch this episode.
Leave It to Beaver: Beaver and Andy (1960)
An uncharacteristically serious episode
"Beaver and Andy" is a lot different than many other episodes. It doesn't deal with Beav getting his head caught in a fence or having trouble at school. Instead, it takes a serious issue (alcoholism) and indicates the effects it can have on innocent children.
Itinerant handyman Andy (well played by Wendell Holmes) approaches Ward looking for work, and suggests that he can paint the Cleaver house's trim. Knowing about Andy's drinking problem (or "troubles" as he calls it), Ward and June are hesitant but finally hire Andy after he assures them that his drinking days are over.
Wally and Beaver later find an empty whiskey bottle in the bushes, and after initially thinking it contained turpentine, Wally identifies it as a whiskey bottle. Wally adds that adults drink whiskey to "have a good time" because they have a much harder time having fun than children.
Later, Beaver is home alone with Andy, who becomes nervous and begs Beaver for a drink. Beaver finds a little-used bottle of brandy, and Andy subsequently gets drunk and falls off a ladder. Ward and June later discuss Andy's situation and decide that they shouldn't have tried to shield the boys from Andy's drinking problem but instead should have frankly discussed it with them.
This episode won't make you laugh much, but it does give you something to ponder. If a child has a lot of interactions with drunken adults and doesn't understand alcohol's effects on some people, the consequences can be pretty miserable.
Leave It to Beaver: Stocks and Bonds (1962)
No big laughs, but a good lesson from Ward
Wally has been studying investments in school, so Ward thinks that the boys would benefit from some real-life experience. He matches the boys' money with his own and helps them select stock in the solid utility Mayfield Power and Electric.
Naturally, Eddie scoffs at Mayfield Power and Electric, and recommends Jet Electro stock instead, because it deals with "space age" technology. He guarantees Wally and the Beav that they will soon be rich if they switch their money to Jet Electro.
Soon the boys are scanning the financial pages (remember those?) and watch Jet Electro take off while their boring Mayfield Power and Electric stock barely budges off dead center. Wally and Beaver beg Ward to sell their utility stock and put everything in Jet Electro, because it has done so well. Ward reluctantly agrees, but what happens next makes Ward look like a financial genius and Eddie look like a fool.
I didn't laugh much during this episode but I did note that investing hasn't changed fundamentally since 1962. My own experiences with investing have shown that Ward was a pretty smart guy.
Under the Yum Yum Tree (1963)
Leering, unfunny "sex comedy" wastes a good cast
"Under the Yum Yum Tree" was advertised as "adult entertainment" back in 1963. I guess maybe the film's marketing department thought it would be too boring for kids, because it certainly isn't racy or "sexy" at all.
The plot is predictably dumb. Hogan (Jack Lemmon) is the leering manager of an apartment house who only rents to attractive young women. He spends his time peeping into his tenants' windows and lusting after them. When young, attractive Robin (Carol Lynley) and her boyfriend David (Dean Jones) move in, Hogan is determined to break up their relationship. Robert Lansing, Edie Adams, Imogene Coca, Paul Lynde, and Bill Bixby also have prominent roles.
The film is incredibly dated. Young women are portrayed as hopeless bimbos, and there's nothing funny about an apartment manager peeping into his female tenants' windows. Instead of being "sexy", the film gave me a pretty creepy feeling throughout, and I didn't find it funny at all. Paul Lynde's character is even more smarmy than the ones he usually played. It's too bad that so many good actors appeared in this movie, because they could have been starring in something much better.
Tales of Tomorrow: Another Chance (1953)
Very good TOT episode with a wonderfully menacing Robert Middleton
Small-time crook Harold Mason (a little overplayed by Leslie Nielsen) is at the end of his rope: his marriage is a mess, he's just stolen a piece of jewelry that he cannot possibly sell, and the police are hot on his trail. When he sees a newspaper ad that says, "I'm Sure I Can Help You!", he decides to answer the ad as a last resort.
Mason arrives at the office of Dr. Borrow (Robert Middleton), who tells him he can send him back in time seven years using a special chair Borrow has invented. Borrow explains that his memory will be erased and that he can start over with no worries. Mason gives the stolen gem as payment and soon finds himself 7 years younger with a new future and new name (Jack Marshall). However, Marshall learns nothing during the next 7 years and finds himself right back where he started. The ending has a real twist and is very satisfying.
The first part of this episode is a little tedious and confusing, consisting mostly of Nielsen displaying various states of anxiety and confusion. However, once Mason visits Dr. Borrow the fun really starts. Imposing actor Robert Middleton really makes this episode work with his performance as the mysterious and ultimately evil Dr. Borrow. It's great fun for those who love vintage sci-fi.
Leave It to Beaver: Mother's Day Composition (1960)
Beaver's wild imagination again causes trouble
Beaver's class's assignment is to write a composition about their mothers. Many of the kids tell Beaver about their moms, who have good jobs or have had interesting past experiences. Beaver then talks to June, who says she worked in a store once but otherwise has little to tell. As usual, the Beav starts feeling inadequate and dreads telling his class about June's boring former life.
That night, Beaver watches an interview show about a glamorous movie/stage star who recounts that she ran away from home at an early age, became a chorus girl and performed in dives, later associating with gangsters before she hit the big time. Beav naturally decides to ridiculously embellish his mom's life story.
The next day Beaver reads his composition, complete with stories of gangsters, chorus girls, dives, and scandalous behavior. He also says that Ward was a tap dancer when June married him. This wild story delights his classmates but worries Mrs. Rayburn, who calls the Cleaver household and tells them about June's fictitious "life". Properly humbled, Beaver has to admit that he made everything up.
I always laugh out loud when Beaver reads his wild story, particularly at Larry Mondello's, Mrs. Rayburn's, and Whitey's reactions to it. This is a very good episode that will have you laughing when you remember the crazy stories you told in school. Great fun.
Captain Nice (1967)
Campy, imaginative, preposterous, and very funny
"Captain Nice" aired for a few months in 1967 when I was 10 years old. I'm proud to say that I never missed an episode of this silly series in the middle of the superhero fad of the mid-1960s.
William Daniels--better known as a cast member of "St. Elsewhere"--played Carter Nash, a chemist who discovered a formula that gave him superhuman strength, allowed him to fly, and made him impervious to bullets. There were problems, though: as Captain Nice, Nash was afraid of heights, had trouble controlling his flights, and found the formula wore off at awkward moments during his crime-fighting adventures. Nash's girlfriend was played by Ann Prentiss.
Normally I would hate something like this, but Daniels was perfect in the title role, and the show was just campy enough to be very entertaining. It didn't last long, but I remember it fondly.
Pier 23 (1951)
Undemanding early 50s private eye film
Hugh Beaumont starred as private detective Denny O'Brien in three short features in 1951: "Pier 23", "Roaring City", and "Danger Zone". The three were all set in San Francisco, ran about 60 minutes, and had two plot lines, thus could be used for television episodes.
Beaumont had had a fairly long career in B detective movies when he made these films, and was certainly at ease in front of the camera. The plots were all pretty much the same: 1. O'Brien would be called upon to do an unusual job (placing a bet on a fixed boxing match, bidding on a mysterious package at an auction, etc.); 2. Some tough guys would rough up O'Brien and he would awaken next to a dead body; 3. SFPD inspector Bruger (Richard Travis) would suddenly appear and grimly accuse O'Brien of murder; 4. O'Brien would have to somehow exonerate himself. Along the way O'Brien was assisted by his drunken roommate Professor Shicker (Edward Brophy) and would tangle with snarling gangsters and hard-boiled "dames".
The supporting casts were mostly unknowns, although sharp viewers will spot Joy Lansing, Mike Mazurki, Ann Savage, Tom Neal, Raymond Greenleaf, Ralph Sanford, and others. The acting was typical of the era, with the smart, fast-talking private eye, cynical cops, and tough blondes. The primary appeal of these films is of course the presence of Hugh Beaumont, who would become legendary as the benevolent dad Ward Cleaver six years later. Brophy's never-ending eloquent speeches get a little irritating at times, and the presence of Richard Monahan (from the turkey "Untamed Women" a few years later) as a bartender is a plus.
None of the Denny O'Brien films is bad, it's just that they're ordinary. I've watched all three and they are predictable and typical of the era, but they're undemanding and fairly entertaining. You may want to watch to see the Beav's dad before he became a sitcom legend.
The Family Man (1979)
Soggy May-December romance with so-so story
The older-man-younger-woman theme gets another go-round in this forgettable TV movie. Ed Asner plays the gruff middle aged guy Eddie who is tired of his marriage and feels unsatisfied. The lovely young Mercedes (Meredith Baxter) enters his life rather accidentally and the two fall in love. Baxter and Asner are probably the most unlikely romantic duo in the history of TV movies.
Eddie and Mercedes carry on their affair until Eddie's wife Maggie (Anne Jackson) expresses her dissatisfaction with being ignored. Will Eddie stay with Maggie or break loose with Mercedes? You may last long enough to find out.
I like Asner and Baxter, but the predictable script lets them down here. The May-December romance angle has been done better many other times, even though the cast is appealing here. You may enjoy "The Family Man" but it really didn't do much for me.
First Family (1980)
Appallingly unfunny "comedy"
"First Family" is a 1980 comedy about the goings-on within the family occupying the White House and its political trip to an African nation. Despite a top comedy cast and a script by Buck Henry, the film is a completely laughless failure.
In order to obtain a crucial United Nations Vote, President Manfred Link (Bob Newhart) journeys to an African country with his drunken wife Constance (Madeline Kahn), sex-starved daughter Gloria (Gilda Radner), press secretary (Richard Benjamin) and assistant (Fred Willard). After some kind of native ceremony with Gloria, the African president demands a number of white Americans so they can become oppressed minorities in Africa. Link returns to the White House, sequesters himself while writing a major policy speech, delivers the speech, and rides triumphantly through Washington with Gloria and Constance. The cast also includes Harvey Korman as an ambassador and Rip Torn as an army general.
The actors try hard, but the result is a dreadfully dumb comedy with almost no laughs. In particular, Newhart's final speech is terrible, and Newhart's and Korman's attempts to learn the African language fall painfully flat. I didn't laugh once during the whole thing.
The comedy routines were so awkwardly presented and so predictable that I cringed multiple times during the movie, embarrassed for the actors. The final part of the plot deals with gigantic fruits and vegetables, so that should tell you something. If you're an undemanding fan of Newhart, Kahn, or Radner, you may want to watch, but otherwise don't bother. I gave this two stars only for its fine cast. This film is no funnier than a case of gastroenteritis.
The Land Beyond the Sunset (1912)
Excellent, poignant silent film that still entertains 110 years later
A lot of people I know won't even watch silent films, because the think that they're old-fashioned, creaky, exhibit overblown acting, they aren't in color, and there are no explosions or violent deaths. People like that should watch "The Land Beyond the Sunset", a little silent gem with a touching (and sad) story.
Joe is a poor newsboy in a big city who makes a pitiful living selling papers and who is horribly abused by his drunken grandmother. She confiscates Joe's meager earnings to buy more alcohol, beats Joe in her drunkenness, and forces him to sleep on the floor.
One day Joe obtains a ticket for a Saturday children's outing arranged by the Fresh Air Fund, which introduces him to the world outside the inner city for the first time. Joe is enthralled by the beauty of the country, and is befriended by a young teacher and several of the children. A preacher reads the children a story about a land beyond the sunset, in which a child was abused but rescued and sent by boat to a beautiful faraway land, where there is only happiness. Finally the children and the adults leave to go home, but Joe hides and stays behind. He finds a rowboat and drifts away into the sunset.
This irresistible silent film goes from Joe's wretched and impoverished existence to a beautiful place full of loving people, then ends with a haunting shot of a distant boat drifting away on the sea. No matter how one feels about silent films, this one is a must-see. It's original, touching, and haunting...and you'll never forget it.
Continental Divide (1981)
So-so but Interesting Change of Pace for Belushi
John Belushi, who made his living playing characters on the edge, took a romantic, "normal" role in "Continental Divide". The experiment only partially succeeded, in one of Belushi's last films.
Ernie Souchak (Belushi) is a hard-hitting investigative reporter based in Chicago. His articles about gang activity make him the enemy of the local mob, who repeatedly try to rub him out. For his safety, Souchak is sent west to live with Dr. Nell Porter (Blair Brown), a naturalist who is studying bald eagles in the Rocky Mountains. The ancient "opposites attract" plot then takes over the movie, with the chain-smoking, beer-drinking Souchak falling for the natural, wholesome, and dedicated Porter. The two are waiting for a train that will take Souchak back to Chicago and suddenly decide to marry, promising to reunite once Souchak can join Porter out west.
Talented screenwriter Lawrence Kasdan has written quite a few trenchant, hard-hitting screenplays (e.g., "Body Heat" and "The Big Chill"), but here he opts for convention, repeatedly throwing softballs at the audience. Kasdan also didn't know how to end the film, choosing an inconclusive, unsatisfying story resolution featuring Souchak waving from the back of a train. Maybe a sequel was planned, I don't know.
Belushi and Brown have some chemistry but the movie never quite comes off, despite the charisma of the two stars. It's still interesting to see Belushi in a romantic, non-crazed role for a change, and he does pretty well in this standard romance. Sadly his career and life ended at age 33 the following year, so his potential was never really realized.
The Swarm (1978)
A disaster of a disaster movie
Irwin Allen certainly had a good disaster movie formula by 1978: hire some over-the-hill movie stars, place some ordinary characters in mortal danger, find gruesome ways to kill off some of the characters, throw in fire and explosions, kill the villain, try to fit a love story in there somewhere, solve the problem in a spectacular way, and there you have it-box office success! Well, "The Swarm" didn't quite work out that way.
Bradford Crane (Michael Caine) and Helena Anderson (Katherine Ross) are a scientist and a military doctor who are trying to fight off swarms of Africanized "killer" bees in a California town. The bees are pretty angry and sting lots of kids to death, later menacing the entire town. There are the usual autocratic and inflexible military generals (played by Richard Widmark and Cameron Mitchell), and the usual old expert scientist Dr. Krim (played by an ancient-looking Henry Fonda). There's even a preposterous romantic subplot about two senior citizens Clarence and Maureen, played by none other than Olivia de Havilland and Fred MacMurray (in his last film). Also present in the cast (and possibly embarrassed to be there) are Patty Duke, Jose Ferrer, Bradford Dillman, Slim Pickens, and Lee Grant. At the end, Crane destroys the swarm, says a few pithy lines, hugs Dr. Anderson, and the film ends.
Allen was primed for another success by this time, having produced the wildly successful "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972) and "The Towering Inferno" (1974). Things just didn't gel for this movie due to an awkward plot and crummy special effects. I even thought the cinematography and makeup were substandard, with many of the actors' faces way too shiny for a high-budget movie like this. The whole thing is dreadfully predictable, and it's just not very good.
Allen's next attempt at a disaster movie was "Beyond the Poseidon Adventure" (1979), which failed miserably. Allen then tried yet again with "When Time Ran Out..." in 1980, but that film was even worse and lost big money, bringing the disaster movie cycle to a merciful end. You could watch "The Swarm" for its big-name cast, but I doubt you'll like the movie much.
Hustle (1975)
Dark, dreary crime drama
I like to divide Burt Reynolds movies into two categories: "Car Crash Movies" and "Dark Crime Drama Movies". Oh sure, he did other stuff ("Boogie Nights", "City Heat", "The End") but most of his movies fall into those two categories. "Car Crash Movies" are just what the name implies, brainless comedies with wrecked cars and lots of banjo music. If you liked "Smokey and the Bandit", "Hooper", or the horrible "Cannonball Run II", I'm sure you've seen all of them. "Dark Crime Drama Movies" are all pretty much the same, with Burt as a cynical but dedicated detective interacting with all kinds of unsavory characters while trying to solve a tough case. For some reason these movies are always filmed primarily in low light conditions.
"Hustle" is a 1975 "Dark Crime Drama Movie". The plot is about the death of a young woman and the anguish of her parents (played by Ben Johnson and Eileen Brennan) during the ongoing police investigation. Reynolds plays the lead investigator, Paul Winfield his partner, and Ernest Borgnine their superior officer. Catherine Deneuve plays Burt's girlfriend while Eddie Albert is a slimy, rich, and influential LA attorney. Fred Willard (young with long hair!) shows up as a police interrogator. Burt's and Deneuve's characters seem awfully jaded about their dismal existence in LA.
It's interesting to see the young cast in a mid-1970s setting. Everything-the hair and clothing styles, the furniture, the cars, even the shag carpeting-screams 1975. Swearing in movies was still pretty novel back then, so lots of foul language and nudity are thrown in for shock value. The only problem is that the story meanders all over the place with no coherence, leading to the final shootout that seems to be hastily tacked on and has no evident relationship to the main plot at all. The cast, especially Winfield, Brennan, and Johnson, is good, but they don't have much to work with. Deneuve and Reynolds seem to sleepwalk through their performances. You might want to view "Hustle" as a time capsule, and maybe you'll like it if you want one of Reynolds' "Dark Crime Drama Movies". Otherwise, it's just barely an average film.
Leave It to Beaver: Ward's Baseball (1960)
Well-written and very funny episode
Ward keeps a very valuable souvenir in his den--an old baseball autographed by several great players of Ward's youth. Of course, when Larry Mondello comes over to visit and sees the ball, you know something bad is going to happen. As usual, Larry talks Beaver into a dumb idea, i.e., playing catch with the ball. The baseball flies into the street, a large truck is coming...and you know what happens.
Beaver and Larry's solution is an ingenious one: they take an old baseball and clumsily try to sign identical signatures to it. However, when Ward shows the substitute baseball to Fred Rutherford, Fred believes it's all a joke because the signatures are hilariously wrong. Ward starts fuming, the Beav is held responsible, and as usual Larry skates without any punishment.
I've seen this episode several times, and I still laugh every time I watch it. Richard Deacon's pompous mannerisms and words are perfectly delivered when he inspects the ball. As usual, there's a good lesson in this episode too.
One more thought: I'll bet a real baseball with those signatures would be worth millions today. Back in the early 1960s it would have been valuable, but not like today.
Leave It to Beaver: Beaver, the Caddy (1963)
My favorite episode
Later "Leave It to Beaver" episodes usually revolve around Beaver's school, some kind of girl trouble the Beave is in, Wally's romantic life or his interaction with Eddie and Lumpy. "Beaver, the Caddy" really changes the pace, with a dramatic perspective on dishonest, sneaky adults and ultimately, fair play.
Beaver caddies for Mr. Langley, who has a $500 bet with Mr. Howard on a game of golf. Langley shaves strokes on the round and dishonestly wins the money. Beaver is troubled after the round, especially when Langley gives him a big tip. Beaver's approach to solving the situation is pretty daring for a young man in his early teens.
I love this episode because it doesn't depend on hijinks involving Eddie Haskell or Lumpy, but instead relies on drama and Beaver wanting to do the right thing. The golfing sequences are very well directed and filmed. This episode is even better when you consider that the $500 golf bet would be worth about $4,500 today.
Leave It to Beaver: Beaver on TV (1963)
Enjoyable snapshot of life in 1963
I remember rabbit ears and the fuzzy TV pictures we used to receive back in 1963, when we could only pick up two stations! This episode reminds me so much of those times. A lot of people today don't realize that local TV was usually live in those days, and that banal fare such as "Teenage Forum" was common. We used to watch those kinds of programs because there was nothing else to watch.
Beaver is chosen to appear on "Teenage Forum" but doesn't realize that the show isn't live--it's going to be taped and shown the following week. Beaver's class watches the show and can't understand why Beaver isn't on TV. This leads to all kind of misunderstandings, with Beaver's pal Gilbert telling him that the situation is like an episode of "The Twilight Zone."
It's good to see Doris Packer as Beaver's teacher Mrs. Rayburn, and Richard Deacon as Fred Rutherford sets the standard for boorish behavior. This episode will be enjoyable for everyone, but will be especially funny for those who remember TV back in 1963.