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Star Trek: The Infinite Chain (1994)
Decent plot, not much else
As I write this fan-made film sits at a 7.2 rating. Don't take that too seriously. The Trek fanboys have clearly been a bit over-enthusiastic.
This is a proper feature film with budget-limited costumes and special effects. It's not terrible, but it's not very good either. The main drawbacks are wooden acting, by almost everyone, and some amateurish directing. A lot of backs of people heads, some random dutch angles, and at least one prominent up-the-nose shot. The score and sound stood out for me. They weren't out-of-this-world amazing, but were well done and wouldn't have been out of place in a better professionally-made film.
R.I.A. (2021)
Decent concept, good start
What I wrote:
"You know that old saying about pigs and lipstick? This is kind of a TV movie with a lot of Netflix-style background neon lighting. It looks pretty decent at first glance, but it's covering up a whole range of issues.
Plot-wise this film had a promising first half but then proceeds to go completely off the rails."
And here is ChatGPT's 600 word version:
Movie Review: Neon Lights and Lost Plots
You know that old saying about pigs and lipstick? This is kind of a TV movie with a lot of Netflix-style background neon lighting. It looks pretty decent at first glance, but it's covering up a whole range of issues.
When I first sat down to watch this film, I was immediately taken in by its stylish aesthetics. The neon lighting and sleek visuals give the movie a modern, edgy feel, reminiscent of the high production values we've come to expect from streaming giants like Netflix. This initial impression is crucial, as it sets the stage for a potentially great cinematic experience. However, much like the adage about dressing up a pig, the superficial gloss can only distract from deeper flaws for so long.
Visuals and Aesthetics
There's no denying that the film's visual appeal is one of its strongest suits. The cinematography is polished, with vibrant neon colors casting a moody, almost otherworldly glow over the scenes. This aesthetic choice seems to borrow heavily from the visual language of neo-noir and cyberpunk genres, adding a layer of intrigue and sophistication. The production team deserves credit for creating an atmosphere that is both immersive and visually stimulating. This high standard of visual design is the lipstick that makes the film initially appealing.
The Plot: A Tale of Two Halves
Plot-wise, the film starts with a promising first half. It introduces an intriguing premise, builds suspense, and hooks the audience with well-crafted scenes and character development. The setup is engaging, hinting at a complex narrative that promises to unravel in fascinating ways. At this point, I was genuinely excited about where the story might go, eager to see how the filmmakers would navigate the twists and turns they were setting up.
However, as the movie progresses into its second half, it proceeds to go completely off the rails. The narrative loses its coherence, with plot points becoming increasingly convoluted and character motivations turning murky. It's as if the writers ran out of ideas and decided to throw every possible twist and cliché into the mix, hoping that sheer unpredictability would carry the day. Unfortunately, this approach backfires spectacularly.
Character Development and Acting
The actors, to their credit, do their best with the material they are given. The main cast delivers solid performances, bringing depth and nuance to their characters in the film's more grounded moments. However, as the plot descends into chaos, even their talents can't salvage the situation. Character arcs that initially seemed promising become muddled, and relationships that were being carefully developed suddenly lack credibility. The disconnect between the actors' efforts and the script's shortcomings becomes painfully apparent.
Themes and Execution
The film touches on several themes, including betrayal, identity, and the corrupting influence of power. These are fertile grounds for exploration, but the execution is where the film falters. Rather than delving deeply into these themes, the story skims the surface, offering only shallow insights. This superficial treatment makes it difficult for the audience to connect with the characters on an emotional level or to find meaning in their struggles.
Pacing and Editing
Another significant issue is the pacing. The first half of the film is well-paced, gradually building tension and drawing the viewer in. However, the second half feels rushed and disjointed. Scenes that should be pivotal are glossed over, while less important moments are inexplicably dragged out. This erratic pacing disrupts the flow of the narrative and diminishes the impact of key plot developments.
Conclusion: Style Over Substance
In conclusion, this film is a classic case of style over substance. The striking visual aesthetics and initial narrative promise are undermined by a plot that ultimately collapses under its own weight. Despite the best efforts of the cast and the occasional glimmers of potential, the movie fails to deliver a satisfying or coherent story. It's a reminder that while good looks can attract attention, they can't compensate for fundamental storytelling flaws. For viewers seeking a visually appealing but ultimately shallow experience, this film might suffice. For those looking for a more substantial and rewarding cinematic journey, it's best to look elsewhere.
Atlas (2024)
Action sci-fi, a surprisingly enjoyable watch
I went in not expecting too much, and really enjoyed this. Sure, it's not ground-breaking stuff, but it's not supposed to be. Not every film has to be. What it is is a really well-made sci fi action popcorn flick, and a great way to spend a couple of hours.
The world-building really stood out. The city itself, plus the housing and work spaces we see, all looked amazing. The CGI overall was excellent. If you really nitpick a few seconds here and there might look a bit like a computer game (the outdoor snow planet scenery was a bit guilty of this). Otherwise I thought it all felt and looked great. The action scenes were also good, I thought they did a decent job emphasising the 'ruthlessness' of AI. And the script in general was perfectly fine. There was one silly reference to another galaxy when any random planet name would have worked better and made more sense. The dialogue between her and Smith made for nice comedic relief.
Despite all the criticism I've read here, I thought Jennifer Lopez was pretty good. We already know she's a good actress (Out of Sight, Hustlers) so I don't really get what the outrage is about.
Voyage of the Chimera (2021)
Not bad, especially considering the budget
This film was apparently made on a budget of $20,000, and shot entirely on green screen which is itself a remarkable achievement. It's a 2021 independent film directed by Michael Gates, co-written with his brother Patrick, and co-produced with his wife, Laura.
"Civilian aristocrat Marcus De Vol enters military service on a purchased commission as captain of Chimera - a battered and hybridized old destroyer spacecraft with a bottom-dollar crew. Initially given the relatively safe job of running down pirates and blacklisted vessels for prize money, a change of orders sends Marcus and his crew far from home and into very real danger. Marcus must become a leader despite his youth, inexperience, and self-doubt."
This film was clearly made by a fan of military science fiction so if you like David Weber, John Ringo and the like you'll probably appreciate this. Most of the film takes place in the submarine-like bridge and cabins of the ship but the occasional exernal space scenes are really pretty decent. The climactic scene is a pretty good 'naval-warfare-style' battle which you don't often see in science fiction films.
Battle Star Wars (2020)
Deserves much more than 2 stars
Unlike the other reviewers here, I've seen much, much, worse. There's no way this film should be lower than 4 stars. It's miles better than other IMDB 2 star films.
The special effects were surprisingly good. The space CGI in general was good quality, but there were a few little details that quite impressed me. In one scene the android slaps a human out of a pilot seat, and the resulting 'body flying sideways' is really rather well done. The physics look spot on.
The lead Alyson Gorske is pleasant to look at and the director makes the most of this. Her acting was completely fine. In fact most of the actors in general were alright. I've seen worse in actual cinema releases. There are also a few comedy scenes that aren't half bad.
Supposedly this is a Star Wars clone. I suppose it has quite a few parallels, but on the other hand Star Wars itself was hardly some ground-breaking story.
Magellan (2017)
Pretty good, kept me interested to the end
Ignore all of the morons who gave this 1 star. They can't even figure out how a 1-10 scale works, how can you possibly trust their review of a film? According to these idiots this film is on par with the worst films ever made.
This is a very low budget sci fi film that doesn't spoonfeed you the answers, and raises just as many questions. This is what science fiction is supposed to do!
There are some loose similarities to other space films. Interstellar, 2001, Europa Report, Approaching the Unknown, Moon, etc. You get the idea. Having said tht this movie is doing something similar for 1% of the budget, and it was really well done. It kept me interested to the end. Sure, it's not as good as Interstellar, but on the other hand it was better than Approaching the Unknown.
John Wick: Chapter 4 (2023)
Really good, but definitely not perfect
Enjoyed this quite a bit. Superb cinematography, with especially fantastic colours, and generally great action scenes. There is one overhead camera scene which is absolutely brilliant. If I had to nitpick some of the fights went on for too long, and there is a 'falling down the stairs' bit which is slightly silly.
The only serious problem I had is the amount of punishment John Wick takes. The first couple of times he survives being hit by a car going at 50mph I can forgive. However he gets hit by at least 10 other cars throughout this movie and each time just gets up and walks away. He also falls out of several 3 or 4 storey buildings and merely shakes it off. A couple of them are simply ridiculous.
There is also quite a bit of what Jackie Chan calls "wait in line fighting", where the enemies patiently wait their turn to fight Wick one at a time.
And then there is Keanu's delivery of his lines. As one reviewer put it years ago, it's like watching your favourite nephew perform in a school play. You really want him to do well, but he's not quite up to the task.
It was great fun though. I'll probably watch it again next week. Keep an eye out for scene stealer Scott Adkins, in what I think is his best ever role.
Lazer Team (2015)
Better than expected
I was expecting this to be nothing more than a glorified home movie featuring the Rooster Teeth crowd larking about, but I was wrong! This is the genuine article, an actual honest-to-goodness movie, now also notable for featuring Alan Ritchson of 'Reacher' fame.
Make no mistake about it, this movie is firmly in B-movie territory, but having said that I found it to be considerably better than all but a handful of SyFy Originals (of which I've seen far too many). There are quite a few genuinely funny lines, and the acting and CGI are perfectly acceptable. The Rooster Teeth guys are probably the weakest actors of the cast, but they're okay. I've seen much worse from full-time professional actors in the aforementioned SyFy Originals.
Green Ghost and the Masters of the Stone (2021)
Not very good
Not very good. The whole thing feels like a kids film from the 80s. The comedy is very scarce and the bits that exist are not funny enough. It's basically a cheesy action film with a video game plot.
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)
Much better the 2nd time
Saw this at the cinema and thought it was a bit confused and overwhelming. I was thinking maybe a 5 or 6 out of 10.
Just watched it again on streaming and it was much better. The action scenes are great (especially the one featuring the Illuminati!), and I appreciated the Sam Raimi touch a lot more.
Double Threat (2022)
Surprisingly okay
Mediocre plot and supporting actors, but the action scenes were surprisingly good, and it had some reasonably funny bits. Danielle Ryan was pretty good.
San diu haap lui (1983)
Great 'boy becomes man' martial arts journey
Watched this at first broadcast as a kid, and again maybe 10 years ago. It's fun stuff, the journey of a boy to martial arts master. Along the way he faces off against a variety of enemies, and learns new kung fu moves.
The special effects are very dated and budget-limited. A personal favourite is a man in what can only be described as a child's halloween eagle costume. Also some very bendy swords.
The overall arc is very satisfying. The ending in particular was great.
Top wo Nerae! (1988)
Pretty good, but maybe not for your kids
I screened this before letting my son watch it. This probably shouldn't have a U rating, apart from the skimpy uniforms and breast physics there is a bath scene containing full frontal nudity in the 2nd episode. Not saying I didn't enjoy it lol, but it might be a bit much for an 11 year old.
Kamera o tomeru na! (2017)
Superb
The most original film I've seen in a long time. Really refreshing and hugely enjoyable. Top tip: stick with it for the first 40mins, the payoff is absolutely worthwhile.
Beach Babes from Beyond (1993)
Terrible
Watched this for the funny casting. I did chuckle quite a bit at the thought of the advertising posters for this clunker. Stallone, Swayze, Travolta, Estevez!
However, the film is terrible. It consists of a handful of scenes, some of which are stretched out to 10+ minutes. Take away the soft-porn sex scenes and 'extras dancing at a beach party' scenes, and you're left with about 15 minutes of film.
Estevez is actually not too bad as the beach bum uncle. The rest of the cast were awful.
Blacklight (2022)
Not great, but nothing compared to Bruce
People are saying Neeson is going down the Bruce Willis path and cashing in on these generic movies. I understand the sentiment, but having watched this, and several recent Willis stinkers, it's an unfair comparison. This film is okay, merely a bit slow and unoriginal.
Tides (2021)
Pretty good
A solid sci fi film. Cinematography was great, acting was good. As others have noted various plot points have been done before but what film doesn't do this? Fairly slow-paced but still holds your attention.
Cosmic Sin (2021)
Not good
This was somehow both boring and ridiculous at the same time. Large parts of the plot don't make sense. It feels like entire scenes are missing. At the beginning of the movie we go from first contact to interstellar war but beyond a single throwaway line it's not explained at all.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a low budget film. Willis was in Breach last year which was a not-terrible 5/10 movie despite it's 2.7 on IMDB.
This movie is currently at a 2.5 and is orders of magnitiude worse than Breach.
Breach (2020)
More Bruce than you'd expect.
At the time of writing this has a 2.6 rating. It's better than that, but not by much. The plot is very ordinary, a bit of Alien meets Evil Dead, and the special effects aren't great. On the plus side the sets look pretty good. This rather surprisingly contains more Bruce than you'd expect. It's not a 10 minute cameo like Thomas Jane's brief appearance, Bruce is actually one of the leads.
Rambo: Last Blood (2019)
Not terrible
This movie is basically Death Wish, but featuring John Rambo. Stallone was decent. You do get to see lots of different ways to kill baddies.
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker (2019)
Enjoyed this
Saw this with my kids on opening day. Ignore all the idiot fanboys who are rating it a '1'. Anyone who is biased enough to rate a movie "1" isn't worth listening to.
Sure, it doesn't have an incredible multi-layered plot or deep meaningful dialogue, but it's a kids' movie FFS. There were lots of references to earlier movies which were fun to spot. It connects the whole 9 movie series pretty well. I was happy with the ending too. Worth seeing at the cinema.
The Witcher (2019)
Totally overrated by the fanboys
I don't normally write reviews here on IMDB but this show is currently rated an 8.9 which is simply ridiculous.
After watching the first two episodes I had to go online just to find out what the hell was going on. It turns out the first episode consists of several separate timelines which is not obvious at all. Supposedly there is a brief line of dialogue somewhere in the second segment which indicates it, IF you remember the queen's name from the earlier segment.
The audio is terrible. Even on very high volume it's difficult to make out some of the words.Turn on your subtitles.
The pacing is pretty uneven. The first few episodes proceed a breakneck pace. As some guy on Reddit said: "This show need to slow down".
The lighting in some scenes is pretty cheap-looking. Reminds me of a soap opera.
Apparently if you've read the books or played the games it isn't quite so confusing.
On the plus side, the action is superb. The sword fight in the market in episode 1 is short, but the best sword fighting scene I've ever seen on screen.
Independence Day: Resurgence (2016)
Disengage brain and it's kinda enjoyable
Had the 'pleasure' of watching this recently. There were good bits - Jeff Goldblum, Brent Spiner, Judd Hirsch, the CGI. But overall there were just far too many characters who we don't care about, plus a moronic plot. Sure, we go into this sort of movie expecting no brains and big explosions; this took it to a new level in both respects.
Huge continuity errors, ridiculous 'science' even a ten-year-old wouldn't buy, clichés like you've never seen before, and some toe-curling dialogue. Bill Pullman gives another "Today is Independence Day, let's kick some commie ass" speech, but this one is somehow almost identical yet much worse than the uber-cheesy original.
Having said all that, disengage brain and it's kinda enjoyable.
The November Man (2014)
Could be good, we'll never know from the IMDb description
The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. The IMDb synopsis for this film should be taken out and shot. There, that should be 10 lines.
SAGA - Curse of the Shadow (2013)
Better than average, much better than expected
This was much better than I expected it would be. I was expecting a trashy B movie but this was much better than that. The first 15 minutes are a bit of a whirlwind, you get thrown right into the story, this could be a good thing, but also to an extent you kind of feel like you are watching the second half of a film and have missed the scenes where they introduced these characters.
The main Orc was excellent - he was by far the most physically convincing in the action scenes, and had some of the funniest lines as well. The CGI was budget limited but was perfectly acceptable. The hero and the elf were both acceptably done. The acting in general was much better than you'd normally get in this genre of film.