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Slarkshark
Part time Xbox gamer in his thirties. 'Halo' is my numero uno.
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Gold (2022)
Wasteland Gold
This film reminded me a lot of 'The Rover'. The setting is very similar and both films could very well be the dawning of the 'Mad Max' world. Though 'Gold' would have to be my least favourite of those mentioned films.
It's one of those films where a majority of it is spent with the main character being stuck in one place and having to survive. Except in this case, he's not "stuck" in the traditional sense, but chooses to remain stuck based on greed. Though I enjoy watching these type of films, they're in their own category and have a top ceiling in regards to how I rate them, and there are very few that are actually noteworthy... and 'Gold' just isn't one of them.
There's nothing to criticize too harshly. I liked the gritty setting. The cinematography was excellent, and Zac Effron and Anthony Hayes (who also directed) did a fine job. I enjoy a slow burn, but it did have the feeling of being a short story that just got stretched out into a 90 plus minute feature length film.
Powder (1995)
Ride the Lightning
One of those sad but kind of feel good 90's movie that seem to have their own genre during that time period.
Powder is a unique human who has abilities like no other, and transcends peoples understanding of the world and themselves. Yet due to a lack of life experience and innocence, he's very naive and can't move past the cruelty of humanity.
Jeff Goldblum plays a school teacher, but yet once again is also a scientist. He's the only one that has any grasp at the extent of who Powder is. His character essentially translates this to the viewer.
Funny how the movie is about remembering our humanity, yet director Victor Salvo didn't seem to remember his a few years prior to directing this movie.
Bad Boys: Ride or Die (2024)
Bad Boy Reggie
'Ride or Die' would rank as number 2 for me in the franchise, behind 'Bad Boys ll' which has the best villain by far. I like it slightly more than the last one, only because it has less of the young vs old attitude.
I think it's fair to say we can all move on from the "slap" and just appreciate entertaining movies. And Will Smith is generally in pretty entertaining movies, and I watch movies to be entertained.
The back and forth banter remains hilarious between Mike and Marcus. The heavy amount of action remains over the top and wildly entertaining. Michael Bay in the first Porsche was a nice cameo.
'Bad Boys: Ride or Die' is a blast and what movie fans have been craving as of late, and what the industry has been reluctant to deliver. No BS, no politics, just a lot of fun.
Inkheart (2008)
Time for a Bedtime Story
One of Fraser's last films till it seemed he really struggled with his career. I, like so many others have always enjoyed Brendan Fraser in anything, but this was one that escaped me for a long time. It's a fantasy adventure film that feels forgotten to most.
'Inkheart' has its moments and includes a stellar cast, but I found it lost appeal as it went on. The climax was a bit corny; at least much more so than the rest of the film. Paul Bettany was pretty good, and I always love seeing Andy Serkis as a bad guy.
It's not bad and has a few tender family scenes, but some stories are better left on the page.
Star Wars (1977)
In the Beginning... There was Star Wars
Everyone knows Star Wars, it really takes no explanation, though I'll give ne anyways. It raised and defined a generation and is still as relevant as ever, even if some of the recent additions have been beyond questionable.
In 1977, we were introduced to a whiny farm boy in a galaxy far, far away. From there, he is briefly mentored by and old wizard dude, while being hunted by a big old mean dude in a black armor suit with breathing problems. A moon, that is no moon, has a world destroying laser beam that must be stopped. A princess is also saved during this process by a scruffy-looking nerf herder and his walking carpet who fly a 1000 year bird. And.... we absolutely fricken loved it.
'A New Hope' follows the classic hero's journey. A formula that is not broken and proven time and time again. I'm sure George had grand designs for Star Wars inside his head in a matter of world building, but even he could not have imagined extensiveness of its fandom and the effect on the entertainment world these past 47 years.
The Boogeyman (2023)
Sully Needs to Mentor this Boogeyman
The Boogeyman has a long history and many interpretation ls depending on culture. Here we have what wouldbbe considered some kind of supernatural creature or demon. It's not a ghost or paranormal, but does appear to have the ability to appear and disappear from wherever. It's drawn to families that are grieving or going through some sort of trauma, and slowly terrorizes them until consumption. I applaud the creature design, it was creepy, and for awhile I was getting a but frustrated because I wanted a real good look at it, but rest assured that look eventually comes.
The characters were good for the most part, but the dad's unwillingness to talk about his and his family's trauma even though he's therapist seemed a tad silly. I was disappointed when the teenage girlfriends didn't get eaten, at least that blonde. She deserved a terrible fate in this film and I felt robbed of that.
Almost a 7 for me, but in the end just seemed fairly average for this type of film.
Happiness for Beginners (2023)
A Mediocre Walk in the Woods
This tale of walking through the Appalachian mountains is one of a romantic comedy. The whole vibe of the film pretty blah, and I'd say tame.
I like Luke Grimes, as I'm a big fan of 'Yellowstone' and he was the best part of this film. I'm a huge fan of 'The Office' so I was interested to see what Ellie Kemper could do as a lead, and I gotta be honest, she didn't do a whole lot for me. I just really didn't enjoy her character. All the other characters were painful.
It'll go down as a forgotten rom com that will appeal to single ladies in their 40 to 50's. In fact, everyone else has already forgotten about it.
The King of Comedy (1982)
Welcome to the Late Show
This is my first time watching, and I couldn't stop thinking about Todd Phillips 'Joker' and how much inspiration was used from both this film and 'Taxi Driver'. There's no doubt the characters created by Scorsese and De Niro influenced the character of Arthur Fleck.
You don't hear many talk about 'The King of Comedy' when people reference Scorsese and De Niro... like ever. To be fair, many of their other collaborations are better films, but that's not to say this isn't good, because it is, it's just a bit different, and I'd say underrated in terms of being remembered.
The film is a bit of a slow burn, but really picks up during the final act. It can be a little hard to watch at times, it's filled with awkward scenes that are meant to make you cringe or feel uncomfortable, just because of how Rupert Pupkin (De Niro) is. The ambiguity during certain scenes was clever and something I enjoyed, particularly the ending.
Creed III (2023)
Creed VS Clubber Gunn
'Creed lll' is basically Creed's version of him facing off against a combination of Clubber Lang and Tommy Gunn. His past comes back to haunt him in the form of a familiar face he chose to forget, but never forgot him.
It's a good attempt to step out of Rocky's shadow, but at the same time, Rocky's name isn't even mentioned. Rocky's existence is implied once or twice, but that's it. I think this hurts the film, as it hurts the fans of the franchise.
I did enjoy seeing how Adonis has matured and grown. He still harbours emotional demons, which he confronts in this film, but his character has come a long long way since the first 'Creed' film. Even though I enjoyed the film, I'd have to say it's my least favourite 'Creed' film.
Jonathan Majors was good in his role, but I suppose we won't be seeing much of him anymore.
Gojira -1.0 (2023)
Back to Godzilla Roots, Only Deeper
Absolutely watch the undubbed version. It's much better this way. Dubbed movies are the worst, and unfortunately my first time viewing was dubbed because I was watching with my young son.
That being said, I found it still a bit of a let down considering all the hype it had. I realize that may be a bit of an unpopular opinion. Honestly, I just didn't find the acting that spectacular. Good in moments, but not great. Effects and CGI were good, but again, with all the hype, I think I expected more. Although, with the budget they accomplished this with, I shouldn't be complaining one bit. When comparing the budget to the finished product, the film is a masterpiece.
I did enjoy the fact this was a traditional Godzilla movie and was brought back to it's roots.
Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024)
Wasteland Rage
'Fury Road' will go down as an action classic. I mean, heck it already is in my mind, it's almost ten years old. 'Furiosa' adds to the story by being a prequel to obviously Furiosa, but all the factions we saw in 'Fury Road'. We now know more of the back story to them and why they do what they do.
As for the film itself, lots of action, a feast for the eyes, but unfortunately an overuse of CGI. 'Furiosa' will be compared to 'Fury Road' in every category, and one of the biggest differences is the CGI vs practical effects. 'Fury Road' is a masterclass in practical effects, and 'Furiosa' was sadly the opposite.
Great performances by all. Hemsworth is practically unrecognizable with that nose and teeth. I'm not always the biggest fan of Taylor-Joy, but she was very good too.
This is no doubt a summer blockbuster and should be appreciated as such.
Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes (2024)
For Caesar
I feel as though this rivals 'Dawn' for me as the best modern 'Planet of the Apes' film. If anything it's super close.
Stunning CGI. This is how proper CGI in 2024 should look. It was amazing. Wes Ball did a fantastic job, and I'm sure his apocalyptic 'Maze Runner' series helped him in establishing the look of the setting in this film.
This story had a lot of feeling to it. These were well developed new characters in a carefully crafted storytelling saga. It's a story about the journey as much as it is about the destination.
I thoroughly enjoyed this entry into the 66 year old franchise, and I'm excited for what they have planned for next.
Rollerball (2002)
Stunningly Brutal
This was just really hard to watch. One of the worst movies I've ever seen, and I'd say the worst remake I've ever seen. I actually don't mind when a remake is not a carbon copy and does a reimagining, but this was something else. The original 'Rollerball' had layers and concepts that invoked interesting thought. I'm convinced this 'Rollerball' killed millions of my brain cells.
The only potential redeeming quality would be the practical stunts. But that is absolutely it. Everything else is so bloody awful. I have an extremely hard time believing this film was actually made by John McTiernan. He's made some my all time favourite films, so I just don't know how it was even possible that he made something this bad. The writing, story, plot, and acting are atrocious. I really have no idea what they could have been thinking throughout the entire production.
First Knight (1995)
First Knight, Second Rate
It has to be said, this medieval film pales in comparison to films of the same genre during this time, mainly 'Braveheart'. Every single aspect of this film is less superior in comparison and it's not even close.
But looking at the film by itself; its not too bad, and has its own redeeming qualities. Some of the acting is a bit over the top, but Julia Ormond was the standout to me.
The tale of King Arthur and Camelot has been told many times, and this explores an older version of Arthur. That being said, 'First Knight' is ranked low on my list of films depicting Arthur and his knights of the round table.
Rollerball (1975)
Was Never Meant to be a Game
I always get a kick out of what the perceived future would look like to people in the past. That's not to say the people who made 'Rollerball' were trying to predict the future, I merely mean the esthetics of it all; music, fashion, technology. It's essentially the same as it was in 1975.
Anyways, the film itself is shows the world revolving around the ultra violent sport of rollerball. The world is run by corporations, and everyone is "happy" with all the struggles of life done away with. It's the argument or debate of freedom. If everything is provided, are you really free? You live a life that is laid out for you by someone else. Doesn't sound very free to me, and that's what the movie is about. Johnathan E. Revolts by choosing to keep playing rollerball.
I enjoyed the concepts of the film, it's the delivery of sci-fi in the 70's that I sometimes struggle with. I'm sure 30 years from now people will have the same struggles with the sci-fi films that I love. It's just how time and trends work.
The Outfit (2022)
Master Class Manipulator
Mark Rylance plays an expert cutter with a shop in 1956 Chicago, but hails from England. He's caught up in one crazy night involving himself, the mob, and others, all within his shop. Armed only with his intelligence and shears, he has to outwit all that make their way into his domain.
Rylance is brilliant and carries this entire film, it is absolutely nothing without him. Due to his character, and the time period/setting, the film has a ton of class. The film takes place entirely in one location, so it seems like it would be based off of a stage play, but you may be surprised to know it's actually an original screenplay.
I agree with the current rating of 7.2 and could even be higher, but definitely deserves no lower.
Cobweb (2023)
Sister Gollum
An underrated and fairly unknown horror from 2023.
This is by no means a masterpiece (I find very few horror films are), however, it is creepy and has a couple of twists that keep it fun.
Anthony Starr plays unhinged characters so bloody well (ie. Homelander). I really enjoyed his performance in this.
There were a few things during the final act that really held this film back. To keep things vague and spoiler free, I'll just say some abilities were hard to fathom as a viewer. There was a taste of 'The Purge' that also left some question marks. And there were a few other things too, but I digress.
But with most horrors, belief must be suspended and character decisions ignored in order to just enjoy the ride. If you're able to do this, you'll most likely enjoy 'Cobweb'.
The Beekeeper (2024)
Protect the Hive
David Ayer made one of my all time favourite films with 'End of Watch'. Even though he hasn't really had any other films I've truly loved since then, I'll always tune in to his new projects.
'Beekeeper' is a typical one man army action movie, where the main character is brought out of retirement in an act of vengeance to inflict nightmarish brutality on those who have done him wrong. The feats of course are over the top and way beyond any scope of believability, but I'm here for it.
Jason Statham plays, you guessed it, Jason Statham. I don't have a problem with that; you know what you're getting. Another thing going for it, the bad guys deserve what they get, at least the main ones do. The sad part there are people like this in real life, just look around. The FBI agents are painful. I especially liked the line where she says something to the effect of a sensing a hidden British accent from Statham, like really?
The whole beekeeper analogy and it beeing a classified assassin program was a cool concept.
Smile (2022)
Creepy But Too Similar
The movie overall and its effects looked good, and I didn't mind the acting at all. There are of course the typical bonehead decisions that are always made in horror films, though my biggest issue is with the story and how this entity or curse attaches itself to its victims. It totally reminded me of 'The Ring'. I haven't seen 'It Follows', but from everything I've read it's the same as well. So yes, that's my main criticism as well.
One thing for sure, it had me looking over my shoulder expecting to see some sort of shadow figure down a dark hall in my home. A shiver down your spine is to be expected.
Argylle (2024)
So Wrong So Fast
A bit of a love child between 'Bullet Train' and 'The Lost City', except 'Argylle' is so much worse than both of those films.
It's wild to think this movie wasn't actually too bad for the first half, heck even arguably the first two thirds were fine. And then it goes off the rails so incredibly fast and hard it really is difficult to believe. It begs the question as to why? It's a silly spy movie if course, but that doesn't mean go full stupid. Remember RDJ's line to Ben Stiller in 'Tropic Thunder' about never going full (blank)... yeah it did that. Never do that.
I hate to say it because she seems like such a sweet heart, but Bryce Dallas Howard was not casted well. Sam Rockwell can hardly do wrong, and he's the brightest spot here, but he can only carry so much.
Honestly, I just don't know what happened. It almost seemed like they were running out of time and slapped the last third of the film together and went "yup, that should work". That brings up another point, it was way too long. It dragged on and on. It just wouldn't end.
Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)
Weakest Entry of the "Real" Ghostbuster Films
I would rank this entry 4th among the Ghostbuster movies, so last (we don't talk about or even acknowledge that reboot abomination).
There's not really anything wrong with this film, it just seems like a bit of a safe family outing movie with a teen who is coming of age. Everything looked good and all, it just seemed a bit bland.
'Afterlife' had the perfect amount of nostalgia mixed in with their story and new characters. 'Frozen Empire' tries to continue that nostalgia formula with their established new characters, but it just comes across a little flat. The build up to the villain is long but then his reign of terror is very short lived.
The main thing to consider is that this film does no injustices to the franchise. It's all very much within the same vein and stays true to it's name.
London Boulevard (2010)
Bloody Punks
Colin Farrell just does it for me. Actually, mostly everyone on this film did it for me. Knightley, Thewlis, and Winstone were all great in their roles.
The movie is an English gangster flick with a cool as ice Farrell. With an arsenal of quality actors and diologue, it had tons of potential, and sadly for whatever reason I can't get past the idea that it just doesn't utilize all of that potential. It's missing something, but it's difficult to say what exactly.
The ending is full of irony, and it's one that will leave you devastated, which I hate nine times out of ten and this was not the one time.
Flipper (1996)
Dolphin Saves the Day
A fun 90's film, that takes place in the Florida Keys and suitable for the whole family.
I can understand Elijah Wood's obsession with going to the Chili Peppers concert. I finally went two years ago and it was such a blast.
I watched thisvas a kid, but pretty much had zero memory of it. It's essentially a cross between 'Free Willy' and 'Into the Blue', except not as good as either of those films.
It's hard for me to shake the image of Paul Hogan as Crocodile Dundee, but he does well with his role. And who would have thought Wood would become the famous Frodo Baggins when this film came out. Not me.
Dances with Wolves (1990)
Western Epic Worthy of it's Extended Run Time
This western epic has a lot of good things going for it. First of all, the cinematography is outstanding, especially in the extended version. Second, the effects, props, costumes, and stunts were amazing. Then, the acting is great as well.
'Dances with Wolves' is not a truly unique story, there are many iterations of similar told stories, and there have been many that have been told since this film. However, if anything, that only speaks to it being a story that people enjoy being told, and this film is no exception.
This is not my favourite Kevin Costner film, but it would be completely fair to say that it's his greatest achievement.
The Way Way Back (2013)
No Pattern on My Quarter. Cut Your Own Path
A coming of age story for a shy, angry, awkward, and unhappy 14 year old. It's a film with a lot of down points throughout, and many characters you'd love to just punch in the face, but there's some really great moments that will undoubtedly make you smile.
No dispute from me, this is a well made and well acted film. Steve Carell again shows of his range, because he's never been so unlikeable. Sam Rockwell, in true Sam Rockwell fashion, is amazing and extremely loveable. No matter who you are, if you're able to have that much of an impact on someone's life, especially at that stage in life, you are a hero.
The only thing that really got me, and this is not a criticism, it's a me not you scenario, is that it was almost too much awkwardness for me to handle. Just be ready for that.