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Reviews
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Well, it is set in a mall...
The original Dawn of the Dead is a classic horror flick with a genuinely frightening atmosphere. This new one is a completely different film, except, of course, that there are some scenes set in a shopping mall. There are some scary scenes, but they are scary in an action-movie sense rather than a dread inducing horror-movie sense. I may be the only one who still thinks that the old-school slow zombies are more frightening than the running ones; the situation that you must appreciate as far as the slow zombies are concerned is that a false sense of confidence can be inspired in the characters because the zombies are dumb and you can out-run them. In the original Dawn, the characters who respected the sheer number of zombies and had a rational outlook concerning how to problem-solve their way out of bad situations are the ones who achieved a degree of success. In this remake, the only real problem solving is the decision to hide in a mall, which is inexplicably devoid of zombies at first, and then to build ridiculous tanks out of mall trolleys. Every evasion scene is just shoot-em up. The remake is just like the original, except stripped of all creativity and appeal. What else is wrong with the remake: character development (one of the characters you are actually supposed to care about, and I think there are only two in all, blurts out over a group dinner that he has had many jobs in life, and the worst job in his life has been as a husband and his best has been as a father. Well so what? If those are the first and last bits of significant personal information that we hear from you, why do we care about your past or your future?) All motivation in the characters seems completely alien to me. Why does that girl go after the dog (at such risk), why does the group go after her (at such risk), and another thing, how doesn't zombie Andy get her out of that closet? Also, how does the head mall security guard go from jerk to team player without a visible trigger event? And why was he such an unreasonable jerk from the beginning? Contrivance. There doesn't seem to be human logic at play in the minds of the characters. There seems to be the logic of a screenwriter who is trying to get the most out of stock characters and failing miserably, in the process omitting any human logic in an attempt to get certain character types to clash with others. I hope there was an hour or so edited from this film that will be released on the dvd so the director can explain how this tepid final product came about. Hopefully there were a lot of important things that had to be cut out, which crippled the picture. If the theater version was how the film was intended to be, then I would be completely speechless. I am not sure what Romero thinks about the remake, but if he is sane, he should just walk his fat royalties check over to the bank, set to work at publicly denouncing the remake, and then finally get another 'Dead' movie of his own out.
The Hitchhiker (1983)
Topping
To get right down to it, this show makes Tales From the Crypt look like a Disney series. The main character almost always dies. It is hilarious to see them so arrogant and ignorant in the beginning and then have all of this horrible stuff eventually happen to them. Some of the episodes are a bit corny, but they are so in that bizarre, remote 80's way. I remember watching the re-runs on USA when I was in grade school (that song gave me nightmares), and those showings were edited. The unedited episodes are the real deal, but unfortunately only a few are for sale on VHS and they are no longer shown on any HBO channel. A DVD with ten episodes is due in March 2004, but with only ten episodes. If you are an enthusiast of the series, buy the DVD and maybe there will more to come.
Love Liza (2002)
I am a huge fan of remote control!
If you like Phil Hoffman, you will definitely love this movie. His performance, as usual, reminds one of an expensive vase falling from a high shelf, or a train wreck, or whatever. The most exciting scenes in this movie are the ones having to do with remote control vehicles. Wilson (Hoffman) feigns enthusiasm for remote control planes to cover up his gas-huffing habit and to take his mind off of his wife's suicide. Interestingly, he never actually flies his plane, he just uses his ownership of it as a justification for his behavior. Well, the film is quite good and sad. Rent it.
Igby Goes Down (2002)
not so good
What would have made this film really unique would be if Igby was an ugly kid with no money instead of a good-looking rich guy. If you are rich and good looking, your problems will always be solved. All of his problems in the film were solved due to his being charming and rich. It would be more impressive for some poor idiot to bop around the united states rather than a rich prep-schooler. Now, I do like other films like Wonder Boys and Harold and Maude which also have unhappy rich kids. But this film was way to thick with the cheesy Catcher in the Rye "the whole world is against me" attitude. Igby is really quite a normal, charismatic guy and I know he would fit in in my city and any other he chooses. If he was a clod and had no inheritance, he would probably end up being a bum living under a bridge. It would have been a much more interesting film.
Martin (1977)
bleak stuff
This is one of those dark, cheap films it seems like you saw on afternoon local television in the 80's. It's great! It makes Pittsburgh look like a crumbling complex of smoky store fronts, commercial wastelands and run-down row houses inhabited by cavalcades of grotesques. You find yourself hoping for the best where Martin the character is concerned, even though he may be closer to a murderous psychotic rather than a Romantic vampire. If only there was someone he could really talk to... Present of course is the standard Romero social commentary, but that's always sort of boring and cliched, innit? Never mind that. It's best viewed as a subdued seventies horror-drama of a confused young man bookended by absurd dogmatic fairy-tale repression-religion and a Pan-American smokestack-cornershop cracked paving-stoned environs.
The Stöned Age (1994)
Totally Top!
Well, this is a party movie. I can't tell you how many times me and my friends have watched this film in relation to a record-breaking party night. Forget 'Dazed'. "YOU JUST GOTTA GO FOR IT!!!" If you are a young guy, this movie will become your bible. Celebrate your manhood and watch a great film before you tear loose on the women of your city. No fat chicks! Rock Out!
Punch-Drunk Love (2002)
say what you like
I wouldn't be surprised at anyone not liking this movie. It doesn't have universal appeal. But I like it because you really don't know what is going to happen next, which is a rare thing. Yeah, you can assume Barry and Lena may fall in love, but the particular events with which this takes place are very spontaneous. This director and Todd Solondz are the best around at making unpredictable, slightly shocking films. I only wish the movie was twice as long!
Caro diario (1993)
what nerve!
What sheer audacity it must take to write, direct and star in your own film. And on top of that, he cast himself in a sympathetic role. Okay, it was somewhat autobiographical. But this film (and in other ways his film The Son's Room) seems like Moretti's testament to his own fortitude, appreciation of simple things, humbleness, and ability to elicit sympathy. Why say these things about yourself? Why not wait for someone else to say them about you? That aside, the real things that ruin the film are Moretti's face and his manor. He looks and acts pompous, like Donald Trump or something. He horribly mis-cast himself! Only see this film if you want to appreciate/ridicule Moretti's sheer audacity and pomposity.
Scarecrow (1973)
scarecrows are beautiful
One of my few favorites, and I've seen lots. The humor is sort of bawdy and dry, in that strange 1970's way. But that is what makes this thing so good. If you see enough movies like this one, or if you watch a few of them a bunch of times, you really get a feeling for the times, albeit in a stilted way. Language has changed so much over the last thirty years, and you get to see how drifters really talked in the early seventies! See, being dated is good! I wish I could recommend some other films like this one, but I can't think of any right now. Just watch this one again!