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Ang babae sa septic tank (2011)
Eugene Domingo's Film All the Way
First and foremost, I have not read a single review for the movie "Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank", so as not to influence my critique.
Secondly, being that this is a well-loved movie, allow me to put the blame upon all the made-up hype and propaganda claiming that this film is too good to be true; and I hold the people's word-of-mouth liable for what may sound as a bad assessment coming from me.
"Ang Babae Sa Septic Tank" stars Eugene Domingo, JM De Guzman, and Kean Cipriano, and it is an inside look into the creation of Filipino indie (independent) movies through the misadventures of three (no, two!) young filmmakers. Eugene Domingo plays a fictional version of herself (and perhaps realistic versions of well-known Filipina actresses) who is asked to be the star in the movie that will be shot and filmed by the producer played by JM De Guzman and idealistic director played by Kean Cipriano. Not to give away any important details, the movie is about the brainstorming of two filmmakers on how to go about creating THE movie masterpiece worthy of the annual foreign film festival circuit, and along way they encounter mishaps and strange circumstances. The premise of the film-within-the-film deals with Ms. Domingo as a mother who was forced to sell one of her children to a pedophile due to extreme poverty. It seemed as though the entire movie is an acting piece made with her in mind; a well-written personal resumé to keep the juicy parts coming in. Now the bitter herbs: story-wise, there's not much to go on; just a day in the life of two individuals conversing about making a movie. The supposed "plot-twists" (two of them) are strategically placed in the final moments of the movie to add extra oomph to an otherwise-dreary storytelling; I'm not even going to say why the movie is called "Babae sa Septic Tank" because I just might ruin it for folks who have not seen it yet. One could swear that they took the plot from an old high school stage play trick wherein they act out a single scene in different styles (Violent, Melodramatic, Musical, Slow Motion, etc.). Creativity and effort towards direction and production design are unmistakable (given the probable lack of budget common to these kinds of movies), but it still lacks the grip to keep viewers interested until the very last moment.
The real gem of the movie is Eugene Domingo. It seemed as though the entire movie is an acting piece made with her in mind; a well-written personal resumé to keep the juicy parts coming in. Once again she proves her adaptability in different kinds of characters; even if it is just in one movie. She upstages every single actor and actress in all of the scenes she is in. She plays the prima donna, the poor mother, the Broadway performer, and the cliché drama actress all quite masterfully. The movie should have been titled "The Eugene Domingo Movie", but that would make one of her in-movie counterparts just too happy.
Altogether, "Ang Babae sa Septic Tank" is quite forgettable, but nevertheless deserves applause for the effort. There were a lot of things that could have been done to make it way better. for some people it may be enough, but take Eugene Domingo away from it and the entire picture would be crumble to dust.
We can thank them for teaching some basics on budget filmmaking, though.
No Other Woman (2011)
Your textbook mistress melodrama
After 2 years, I'm back; and before that there was nothing.
I am forced out of my self-imposed Filipino movie exile to share my two cents about the new movie everybody in town is talking about: No Other Woman.
The movie stars ABS-CBN's Derek Ramsey as the philandering husband of Cristine Reyes, and Anne Curtis as the fighting mistress. Other cast members include Tirso Cruz III and others, who clearly lent their names to the posters for the money.
Firstly, how many movies were made with this same movie title? Secondly, how many other movies were created, sans the movie title, with the same premise about a philandering husband? These questions asked tells us that this movie has absolutely nothing new to offer the movie-going public.
The premise is commonplace: a self-confessed ex-playboy breaks his personal vows as he falls for the luscious traps of a femme fatale. However, the events and occurrences that shape the twists of the story are near impossible-to-fantastical: after having his way with both his wife and his mistress, he became confused as to which girl to choose, while the women fight over him in catty, epic cliché 80's dialogue proportions. Suddenly, In true Deus Ex Machina style, the story finishes with an out-of-place tragic realization.
The hype surrounding the movie was blown out of proportion and near destructive that left a very bad taste in my mouth. My other distaste probably came from the fact that that there's absolutely nothing I can relate to in the movie: not the setting, the premise, and absolutely not the characters. The beauty of La Union is unmistakable, but none of us own a resort there... Well, maybe a fraction of a percent of the entire population. The story, as said before, is very commonplace; just look around for a married friend or a co-worker who still tries to hit on that new-hired chick, and if he succeeds, look at their miserable wives and you will know that these people are who this movie's market audience are. The fantastical destroyer of suspension of disbelief is that affairs like this almost always DO NOT end happily; so there goes your reality right there. Some might say that it is only a movie, but how the story went is just too ridiculous to be enjoyed. Most of the time I was slapping my forehead, scoff- laughing, and shaking my head; and then I was playing 'Snake III' on my mobile phone. I kept asking myself: "Who talks like that?" I've seen a personal debate or two but I have never heard anybody argue cinematically.
This movie is owned by the three lead actors, and as said before, the supporting actors are clearly unimportant; their roles should create a ground for reality as they give 3-sentence advices to make things extra-confusing. However, put them in or remove them and nothing changes. The only good thing that came out of this story would be Ms. Curtis' acting. Who would've thought that the teeny-bopping, lollipop wielding little darling would grow up and be taught to act? She's thousands of light years away from when she left GMA Artist Center, and in turn they must really be kicking their own asses for letting her go; or is it that they really do not invest in acting classes for their actors?
That being said, I would say that 'No Other Woman' is definitely not worth the fare. What should have been a quest for the filmmakers to create an unforgettable, timeless movie in the vein of 80's dramas such as the ones created by Bernal and Brocka turned out to be a forgettable, moneymaking fad to keep the movie department afloat. We are way better off watching a stress-free, feel good movie like 'Dolphin Tale' after a long day of work. Some of us need not reminded of the stresses in our lives.
Now and Forever: Dangal (2006)
Purely sadistic
Ignorance makes their world go 'round, and this much is true in GMA's new old-school season of Now & Forever with an episode entitled "Dangal" which means "Honor" when loosely translated. Since N&F's single word titles are a practical giveaway on what the show is about, one can expect that "Dangal" would be something about taking away one's honor and getting it back again.
The story is almost identical to all the other soap operas that came before it; except that it's a riches-to-rags-to-riches story where the snatching of honor comes. Alta (played by Jennylyn Mercado) is a nice girl born to a well-to-do family, but as we all expect, greed and revenge takes over courtesy of the villains. The enemies sadistically manipulate and destroy the life of our poor, helpless Alta to the point of confusion and madness, all because she had no idea whatsoever about the shadowy underworld that creeps the land; yes, it's the heroine's ignorance that did her in.
This soap is a particular waste on the talents of dramatic greats Cherie Gil (who plays yet another demoniacal antagonist) and Matt Ranillo III (who's character gets killed on the second week; thank God). Dangal's story quality seemed as if it was a big excuse to employ the services of those who are from 'the other network', probably just to show off that their enemy is jumping ship; the storyline is chock-full of soap opera clichés, one cannot help but slap forehead.
"Dangal", by the looks of it, will have a very hard time catching up with it's more subtle predecessor "Linlang" simply because writers are assigned to this particular soap opera are too lazy to think of original concepts. The producers gets equal blame for green-lighting such a clichéd, unoriginal, and sadistic soap opera.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
A Date with Jao Mapa (1999)
There is a light that never goes out
For many, many years, the usual Filipino comedy consists of a streetwise hero,a bumbling sidekick, lots of slapstick, and a production number on a Batangas beach at the end. For decades, audiences were forced to swallow this animal crap in the name of profit. For many years it was this way; hundreds and hundreds of cliché comedy movies, all of them the same; talk about clockwork orange torture. Now, if there ever was a choice between 10 full length movies by any Filipino director and the dark comedy "A date with Jao Mapa" to take with me on a deserted island, I will choose the latter short film by maverick director Quark Henares; at least Henares delivers a fresh new vision unseen in any other old Filipino comedy movie before.
The story of "A Date" may be old by Hollywood standards, but it is high time that Filipinos come up with their own version; it stars Jao Mapa and Marnie Arcilla who play the two leads, taking the audience into a wild indie caterpillar ride of life, love, and obsession. The visuals and mediums used to tell the short story are relatively new to Filipino comedy and create interest. Marnie Arcilla glitters on screen, proving that she still has certain charm even after that cheesy kids show AngTV. The dialogue is quirky though but daring and Director Quark proves his richly streetwise vision through this film, which is courageous and never afraid to turn the story around.
"A Date With Jao Mapa" may be mediocre by well-known Hollywood standards, but in the Philippines it does not only stand on it's own but soars over all the stupid clichéd comedy musicals the country has been producing all these years. The hope of intelligence in this movie is truly a light that will never go off; it will always convey the message that not all comedies are beach-singing at the end of it.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Now and Forever: Linlang (2006)
Best of the lot but still soap operatic
First, the good: Nothing is what it seems.
The latest season of "Now & Forever" proves this saying true as the writers of this story cleverly applies the element of deception to effectiveness. "Linlang" stars Diana Zubiri, Polo Ravales, Chynna Ortaleza, and a cast of others who, in my opinion, are giving the best performances of their lives so far in their career. The exception to this is Ms. Lorna Tolentino who was not given a chance to shine because of the short role she was given, and Alessandra de Rossi who is clearly overacting her angry scenes.
A supernatural-inspired story theme kicks off as the rest of the story is kept interesting because of the hidden roles and interests of the characters as instances weave their stories together. Surprisingly, each character has a valid driving force; unlike in other shows wherein the characters whose interests seemed to have spurted out of nowhere.
Now, the bad news, folks: COnsidering all good things, this is still soap opera. Yes, the scheming villains are all here, the cliché Soap Opera movements are here, and the story are still mostly clichés woven together. The storytelling talents of the writers are wasted on an afternoon soap. Now, only if they can employ their clever twist-techniques to all their shows...
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
I Luv NY (2006)
leave the Mark/Jennylyn story arc entirely on the cutting room floor
Another TV program gets a hit-and-miss treatment in the soap opera "I Luv NY", a supposed-to-be bubbly soap opera destroyed by executive interests. ILNY is a feel-good love story about Filipino couples and their trials on the other side of the world; particularly New York City. There are two story arcs: the Marvin Agustin-Jolina Magdangal story for older audiences and the Mark Herras-Jennylyn Mercado story for the teenybopper audience; unfortunately, the two stories are very different and gives opposing effects on the whole show.
The Marvin-Jolina love story mainly focused on the two leads' enjoyable changes and exchanges in the city that never sleeps. Jolina's innocence and playfulness worked well with Marvin's serious character-type and most of the time almost pleasurable to watch. Enter the colorful characters played by Isabel Oli (who, admittedly, develops a better acting performance than in her previous work), Arnel Ignacio (who mimics a Cherie Gil-type antagonist to effective perfection), and others for more crazy plot turns.
Regrettably, the worst part of the whole series is the story that focused on Mark and Jennylyn. The story was ultimately uninteresting from the beginning, and the cement-block acting of Mark and the false drama of Jennylyn just made their screen time even worse. The entrance of unseasoned support characters (with the exception of Carmi Martin and Tirso Cruz III ) does no improvement. This devolution, this giant step backwards can be traced to network executives' financial interests; what should have ended early with a perfect ending story was extended (reminiscent of the "Encantadia" brouhaha) because the show was a hit and raking in the money.
ILNY should have lined itself along Asian dramas such as "A Harvard Love Story", "Attic Cat", and "Lovers in Paris", if not for the terrible turn of the Mark/Jennylyn story arc. Cut off the stinky Mark-Jennylyn story out of the show and you have a perfect Asian drama right there.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Majika (2006)
Most shallow show on TV---congratulations
GMA is a multi-awarded station, and I have another title to add to their long list list: Most shallow show on Philippine TV. I always thought that nothing can sink lower than the titanic production of Mars Ravelo's "Darna" the soap opera, but I was proved wrong with the release of "Majika", the network's most seizure-inducing, second childhood-generating soap opera ever.
And just what is this "Majika" all about? It's about spell slinging lady magicians in skimpy and colorful costumes battling it out in a badly-dressed fantasy set. Obviously, it was created with children in mind and it stars "Darna" herself Angel Locsin with Dennis Trillo, supported by Katrina Halili, Eddie Garcia, Jean Garcia, and Carmina Villaroel among others.
I have serious reasons to call this one shallow; there are absolutely no redeeming factors to save this one from damnation. The costumes and set design are absolutely meaningless and are so colorful it might induce seizures; the story is stereotypically soap operatic that each moment is a passing of never-ending clichés of love and mistaken identity; the premise is obviously a ripoff of various Disney films and Harry Potter---the show might actually trigger retardation because of its dumbed-down plot line.
What makes the show pathetic is that in order to save their sinking ratings (the rival show is slowly creeping up on the ratings game), they made the ladies' costumes a lot shorter in order to show more skin and attract the older, hot-blooded male audience. However, even the combined forces of Ms. Halili's fantastic body and the supple skin of Ms. Locsin cannot save this disaster of a TV show.
And what do passengers do when the ship is sinking? Jump ship before it takes the whole network down with it.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Bituing walang ningning (2006)
Second rate, trying hard... you know the rest
A highly-legendary quotation from a movie has never been so ironically uttered by someone so self-described. The soap opera "Bituing Walang Ningning" is exactly what "second rate, trying hard, copycat" meant and much more.
"Bituin" is the remake of the classic rags-to-riches movie of the same title starring Sharon Cuneta as the heroine and the incomparable Cherie Gil as the villain everybody loved. The TV incarnate's characters were ineffectively portrayed by Sarah Geronimo in the Sharon role and Angelika dela Cruz as an embarrassing and pitiful version of the Cherie Gil character. To make matters worse, the writers inserts tiring soap opera elements into the story to make it interesting, with disastrous results.
"Bituin" would have been a mediocre enough soap opera with its mediocre story and mediocre characters if it were not for Angelika dela Cruz' horrible impersonation of Lavinia. Angelika could have made the character her own if she inserted personal acting touches and originality to the role; however, she begins to emulate Cherie Gil's Lavinia, copying every batted eyelash and swagger that the classic character did. The result: a second-rate, trying-hard, Cherie Gil copycat.
ABS-CBN has successfully degraded themselves as the TV fad-makers to the eventual fad-followers as they erringly assumed that remaking classic Filipino movies into soap operas was the "in" thing to do. After the embarrassing turns of "Kampanerang Kuba" and "Panday", one might think that the producers, writers and directors have learned a valuable lesson. However, knowing the hard heads at the network, these lessons went into one ear but out the other.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Captain Barbell (2006)
Hit and miss
Rarely do I give positive reactions to prime time soaps nowadays, and one of those lucky TV programs that gets some sort of praise is "Captain Barbell", the latest superhero soap to hit GMA prime time after the highly-embarrassing "Darna" (whose creators spawned another moronic fantasy soap opera entitled "Majika", but that is another article).
Surprisingly, the lead character of Teng is effectively portrayed by Richard Gutierrez, the current network's prime time superstar. This is in contrast to his previous work in "Sugo" wherein he plays enigmatic but uninteresting characters.
CB is the creation of the Philippines' top comic book creator Mars Ravelo, the same guy who made "Darna" and "Dyesebel". Captain Barbell's original story was about Tengteng, the urban poor boy who transforms into a superhero to save the day. CB's soap TV reincarnation gets a highly science-fictionalized face-lift by inserting various Marvel and DC Comics story lines into the picture; and this is where the show goes horribly wrong.
Firstly, it was perfectly obvious that certain story elements were shamelessly copied from well-known comic book/movie stories such as Superman, Spider-man, and even the time-traveling elements of the "Terminator" movies. The reason for this is that the writers probably thought that the kids who watch the show might relate to the story better if they find some of the story elements familiar; however, to us adults we find this laughable.
As the story goes along, we find ourselves immersed into the trials and tribulations of Clark... Er, Teng, the boy who would eventually become the country's greatest superhero. However, later on, as if adjusting to amazing powers were not enough, fate (or the writers) decided to add the stereotypical soap opera antagonist in the person of Sunshine Dizon, the greedy and jealous relative.
Afterwards, we root for the hero again as the writers use the characterizations to effectiveness. The entrance of wildly fun villains such as Rufa Mae Quinto make the story delightful to watch. This writing creativity, in turn , is contradictory to CB past enemies in the show such as Bubog (who is the Filipino version of a villainous Wolverine) and Adobe (who is an obvious amalgam of Absorbing Man and Colossus) who were stereotypical and tiring.
All in all, CB is a hit and miss show; sometimes it is effective and entertaining, most times it is tedious and laughable. So far, it is still in its enjoyable phase; and I'm still keeping my expectations low that it will get better anytime soon.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Agawin mo man ang lahat (2006)
brace yourself for an afternoon of amazingly depressing TV
TAPE Inc, the makers of "Agawin Mo Man Ang Lahat" and "Saang Sulok Ng Langit" must have a penchant for ultra-depressing story lines. Although "Agawin" takes off a bit more than "Saang" wherein the heroes and heroines of the soap get their second wind early on by becoming stronger than the usual soap opera protagonists, the masochistic writers of the show make sure that the fighting heroes get double the pain and anguish.
"Agawin" has the same premise of all the Filipino soap operas that came before it: heroine lives normal life, gets messed up by ultra-evil antagonist because of money, heroine gets second wind and gets revenge. Rosanna Roces lookalike Marian Rivera stars as Almira, the heroine whose life gets messed up because of money, and Oyo Boy Sotto, the rising leading male as the boy. The rest of the cast includes Cheska Garcia, Matthew Mendoza, Wendell Ramos, and Mylene Dizon in the role of your stereotypical cold-blooded antagonist out to get everyone and anyone who stands for righteousness.
The story is formulaic enough for afternoon soaps, just throw in the usual fight for the riches, shadowy goons in eye-patches, a juicy fight for some guy's riches, and you've got your afternoon soap right there. Of course, the show is creamed with TAPE Incoporated's trademark depressing circumstances.
I can bet that the next soap opera lined up by TAPE will be just as depressing as the others. Watch this, and make sure you keep the rope and poison far away from you.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Blue Moon (2005)
Historical inaccuracies, painful unrealism, and laughable absurdity destroys viewing experience
How can producers go far into a story in order to make a sure-fire blockbuster chick-flick? How much absurdity and inaccuracy can one take in one movie-viewing? All These questions and more will (or will not) be answered by watching the Metro Manila Film Festival Entry entitled 'Blue Moon', a Danielle Steel-type romantic epic starring Mark Herras, Jennylyn Mercado, Eddie Garcia, Christopher de Leon and Dennis Trillo.
The story revolves around an aging Manuel (Eddie Garcia) and his search for his lost love named Corazon. What follows are is a series of plot twists which involve decades of family relationships straight out of a Danielle Steel novel. After all of the trials and hardships thrown upon the main characters, they triumph over impossible odds; never mind the historically inaccurate portrayal of World War II Philippines and the absurdity of certain circumstances, all that matters in the movie is that it made the audience cry.
It was not hard to feel for the characters in the movie, most effective portrayals include Christopher de Leon and Dennis Trillo, the only actors who carried the movie all the way. The only hindrance for a total enjoyment of the film was the World War II sequences of Mark Herras and Jennylyn Mercado, whose bland-to-overacting acting can easily be noticed, which utterly destroyed the viewing experience. The flashback scenes are creamed with over-the-top impossible and historical inaccuracies, unbelievable training scenes, stinky CGI of aerial dogfights, and laughable teenybopper scenes obviously written in to attract a younger audience. In my humble opinion, I believe that the movie could have been a lot better without the cheesy flashbacks and the full concentration was centralized on the present time, through the character portrayals of Eddie Garcia, de Leon, and Trillo.
All in all, the makers of the film could have made "Blue Moon" a great film, almost in the same level of Abaya's "Jose Rizal" if they had only avoided the clichés of the common romance epics and instead focused on character and plausible plot development.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
The Mourning Girls (2006)
confusing and ridiculous
'Mourning Girls' is exactly what would happen if a movie outfit attempted to emulate a Mano Po-type movie while dumbing the story down and inserting some unfunny comedic scenes into it. Please bear with this critique if it suddenly parallels the review for 'Mano Po' because the resemblances with this one and the other is quite uncanny.
'Mourning Girls', like 'Mano Po 2' before it, is the story of a family's patriarch Fernando(Ricky Davao) dying of a heart attack, and three wives emerging (Glydel Mercado, Chin-Chin Gutierrez, Assunta de Rossi) to claim his fortunes. The only difference is that Fernando goes around the funeral wake as a roving spirit, for reasons very unclear. The difference between MG and MP3 is that there is a weak attempt at a comedy, which audiences will find slightly amusing to utter ridicule.
'Mourning Girls' was created obviously without effort, with the actors sleepily walking through the dialogue without any sweat; obviously the curiosity built up during the beginning of the movie will be stepped on and destroyed during the viewing process. The same can be said of the story and script, which felt as if it was written while playing chess; the writers just tapped a few words onto the keyboard, printed it, and submitted in to the producers without a care on whether or not the story would work or suck. The story, which counts as the greatest element of any movie, was just utterly confusing. The plot revolved mercilessly at the premise of the three wives' fighting against each other with the occasional boring twist every now and then.
It was not anymore a surprise why 'Mourning Girls' flopped at the box office; though I believe the failure of this movie did not affect the producers and actors in any way. It was obviously made with a small budget and only an inclusion to a film festival in mind. It is quite amusing how producers beg Filipinos to save the movie industry by going back to the movies when they produce filth such as this.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Ako legal wife: Mano po 4? (2005)
And the series finally comes to a chaotic end
Five years, two drama sequels and one comedy sequel later, nothing has changed on the status of the overrated Mano Po franchise; the story is still simple but expounded upon too much, the acting deliveries were still futile, and the producers again (and again) raised expectation all too high for the audiences only to find a humdrum of a movie.
The story of 'Ako Legal Wife' is centered on the story of Zsa Zsa Padilla's character named Chona Chong, the 'martyr' wife of serial womanizer Elton Chong (played by Jay Manalo) and her exploits to grab the attention of her husband from his mistresses, played by Cherrie Pie Picache and Rufa Mae Quinto. The other cast of characters were played by Pinky Amador, Bianca King, Julianne Lee, John Prats, Ella Guevarra, among others.
With the exception of John Prats' so-so performance as a closet homosexual, the rest of the cast of 'Ako Legal Wife' delivered a non-comedic, partly pitiful performances as their respective characters. The talents of promising dramatic actors Jay Manalo and Cherrie Pie Picache are wasted on ultra-clichéd dialogues and sequences already overdone by Bubble Gang. The Mano Po series is also notorious for casting big-named actors in five-second scenes, and Pinky Amdaor is the victim this time around, after Angel Locsin and others in the previous movies. The same could probably be said of child drama star Ella Guevarra, whose character could've been played by any other child actor in the industry today.
The movie is a complete waste of the actors talents, the producer's money, and the audiences' precious time. A lot of things had gone wrong in the movie, and not one element could save another; the storyline was too dull and the acting too ordinary.
I never thought I would say it, but I think we've had enough of Chinoys on the silver screen after five years.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Sugo (2005)
Thank Heavens it's over
There has not been a soap opera plot on Philippine television as messy as the one 'Sugo' had. Supposedly, the story of 'Sugo' revolved around a centuries-old battle between two warring factions amidst the rise of the 'master of all evil' and the birth of a pair of twins will usher in coming of the 'Sugo' or 'Savior' which will ultimately decide the fate of mankind. sound interesting? If you think it does, then you've got another thing coming. Richard Gutierrez starred as both the rival twins Amante and Miguel, plus a whole cast of great and not-so-great actors and actresses. Examples of great: Lorna Tolentino and Amy Austria. Examples of not-so-great: Isabel Oli and Dion Ignacio.
Now, where did 'Sugo' go wrong? Firstly, the makers obviously wrote the storyline as a sort of 'homage' to Hong Kong movies; they hired a superstar Hong Kong stuntman to teach action sequences. While incorporating Chinese-style action into the show, the writers obviously did not put into consideration the clashing effect of the Chinese culture to the ancient Filipino culture which clearly made their plot machine run.
Secondly, the muddle of confusion between Chinese and Filipino cultures brought about a great muddle of confusion in the storyline. Supposedly this is how a soap opera is supposed to work; a plot twist reveals and is resolved. Another one opened, and closed again. Two twists open, one will be closed, one will run for the duration, etc. This machination ushered in the entrance of new characters, death of old characters, resurrection of dead characters, new enchanted weapons, etcetera, for added confusion.
And still on plot devices, the events that shook up the world of 'Sugo' lacked originality. The merging of Amante/Miguel into a powerful being is reminiscent of similar plot devices for Dragon Ball Z, Ghost Fighter, and other Japanese anime.
The acting: obviously, the great ones like Lorna Tolentino and Amy Austria were obviously sleepy and one can easily realize that they are walking through their drama scenes easily as eating peanuts. Unfortunately, their superb skills were rendered inane by the shallow storyline. Acting-wise, I hope I can say the same for the rest of the newbies on the show like Isabel Oli, Chynna Ortaleza, and Dion Ignacio who were obviously having a hard time catching up with the performances of their senior counterparts.
Finally, the cause of all the mischief is the resurrection of the 'Lord of all Evil' himself, the 'Sauronic' Apo Abukay. It has been built up from the start that the character of Apo Abukay was supposedly the incarnation of all things evil; murderous, blasphemous, incestuous, and apparently made Satan and his horde of criminals and politicos blush in shame. SO, anybody can expect the fans' disappointment when the great evil known as Apo Abukay turned out to be the return of a laughable evil incarnate of 'Machete': Gardo Verzosa's endless 'evil-laugh-and-arms-crossed-while-face-is-on-close-up' overacting was not enough to put a face on the villain. As soon as he was alive, fans already wanted him dead. It was all the better that Apo Abukay remained faceless; continually inciting fear even without his presence.
Gardo Versoza was not Apo Abukay; he was a sexy actor in costume.
All in all, 'Sugo' might have taught us a few lessons on how good triumphed over evil; however, the show never ended without the occasional cornball dialogue and love angles us shallow Filipinos love with shows like this.
Final words: Thank God its over.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Eat Bulaga (1979)
Unbeatable, cast-iron variety show
'Eat Bulaga', hands down, is the best-ever variety-cum-game show ever conceptualized for Philippine TV. Many have attempted to beat this monster-of-a-show but none have ever fully defeated it out of the airwaves.
EB began with the comedy trio of Tito, Vic and Joey with Chiqui Hallman, and a few more hosts joined along the way. The show evolved from the simple song, dance, game concept to the more deep and complex drama contests, IQ contests, weird talent contests, and the like.
Many people have their own reasons why Eat Bulaga is still on the air after 25 years, and no one can ever disagree that any one of these reasons are incorrect. EB has hit the bulls-eye on the hearts of audiences through their humble humor and fantastic game show prizes.
After 25 years, EB is still the best daily noontime show ever. Let me reiterate that many will attempt to kill the beast that is Eat Bulaga, but none will ever triumph.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Pinoy Big Brother (2005)
Foreign garbage in our midst
Pinoy Big Brother: Foreign garbage in our midst I can honestly say that Pinoy Big Brother is very comparable to the old Japanese and Korean buses that we see on EDSA: those rolling heaps of junk that barely worked, but are just another country's hand me down ready to give in anytime. I say this because of the allegedly ingenious Filipino TV writer's mind once again failed to come up with something fresh and profound for the viewers and instead, just copied a crap foreign reality show premise.
Like I said, the reality show PBB is something new to the Philippines, but it is in no way new to the other greater nations around us. In fact, the Big Brother reality show is so famous it has spawned infamy; with legions of haters around the world. And who can blame them? Firstly, reality shows are just glorified, commercial documentaries; or rather a "poor guy's documentary" wherein networks market upon how people react to certain extreme situations, expecting viewers to relate to the 'contestants' transforming their shallow feelings into instant TV ratings and cash in the process. Unfortunately, many are still taken in, but the real 'reality' will sink into their brains in no time.
Now, looking at PBB in the simplest perspective: what did I get from watching the reality show? Two things: (1) a chance to play someone important like a peeping tom to a group of people, and (2) watch them excitingly talk to each other and eat and sleep and take a bath, like ordinary people do. "Ooooh! Look! They're talking to each other! How exciting!" Yeeesh. My point is, how shallow can anybody get? This is truly a brand new low in Philippine TV programming.
Do you remember that jeepney sticker that goes: "Smart people talk about ideas; stupid people talk about other people"? PBB is exactly that and much more! Not only can the viewer get to talk about other people, the viewer gets to see them get naked and take a bath as well! Congratulations to the network. Once again, they discovered a new market using other people's faults and miseries. Congratulations also for glorifying the 'peeping Tom' and introducing to our great nation a different kind of sexual perversion.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Mulawin: The Movie (2005)
the long-running soap opera squeezed into 2 hours
So what will happen if an epic story which should take about many months to be presented properly is squeezed into two hours? Enter 'Mulawin: The Movie', GMA films latest fantasy motion picture to date. 'Mulawin: the Movie' continues the story where 'Mulawin the Soap Opera' left off, and that is the continuing adventures of Alwina and Aguiluz after their 're-discovery' of their bird-people ancestry which leads them back to a battle against an old enemy.
Remembering 'Mulawin' the soap opera, it is a well known fact that the storyline of the said show was fleshed out slowly and tediously for a couple of months; and even then the story went no place! Now, the same guys who did the show will be creating a movie version.
The finished product? a months-long soap opera squeezed into two hours. The editing and cutting of scenes resulted into sudden event changes, making the watchers go, "What the heck? What happened?" If the viewer blinks for even just half a second, he will never notice the plot twist that just unfolded before his eyes. character appear and disappear for no apparent reason, and even if there were any explanations, expect it to come as a single sentence from one of the characters, and then move on. By half the film I was so confused, I never even bothered to try and understand the rest of the story.
The special effects, again, just like the soap opera, lacks 'speciality'. Again, the 'flying' effects are poorly done, the actors are seen as obviously hanging from a thread with a harness. The creators seemed to have forgotten how special effects should not look like special effect; it should look like the real thing.
Blame it on the marketing strategy, but Mulawin was made to look like a great movie when in fact it is not. High expectations ultimately destroy a mediocre movie, and that is exactly what happened to Mulawin. I guess karma came in the form of 'Enteng Kabisote 2'.
Watching Mulawin with high or low expectations does not make any difference. It is still a poorly done movie with flaws clearly defined. Can we expect the same weaknesses and flaws when they come up with an 'Encantadia' movie then? Let us hope not.
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Panday (2005)
Panday the soap opera: Ronnie turns over in his grave
Panday is Fernando Poe Jr. Fernando Poe Jr. is Panday. Without FPJ, there is no Panday. So, why even bother with another? With a franchise like Panday, one could at least expect an ounce of respect from the man who made it all real on the silver screen. Ronnie (FPJ's nickname) even expected, before his untimely demise, a little bit of value out of this series. Everybody knew that without FPJ, there is no Panday. Bong Revilla knew that, and even Jinggoy Estrada learned that fact after his humiliating stint as a gun-slinging, beer-bellied Panday.
The story of Panday is Universal; a simple blacksmith vowed to protect the helpless after being endowed with a powerful sword. The blacksmith-turned-warrior then fights Supernatural forces and saves the day. We might have seen this same storyline in Arthurian legends and the Conan saga, but it was Fernando Poe Jr.'s impeccable charisma and personality that saved the movie from certain mediocre damnation and lifted it up in movie deification. FPJ is to Panday as hamburgers are to McDonalds: there can be nothing without the other.
So, whoever thought they can make Panday into something without FPJ is committing blasphemy to the highest level. ABS-CBN, and their "creative" writers decided to walk on water and try it, casting over-actor Jericho Rosales (Mister "I cry so hard I pee in my pants") in the Panday role and one-dimensional Heart Evangelista as his love interest. What could be worse than replacing FPJ with some teenybopper who thinks his acting is God's gift to the Philippines? They changed the storyline drastically to appeal to a younger audience, sacrificing story value.
Want more? They inserted cut-scenes made out of very obsolete 1980's test computer graphics. The animation is SO DARN BAD it looked like some three-year-old played with a CGI program on his dad's computer. The characters that walked around had blocked heads and nobody can see any faces. A sixteen-year-old computer geek could've done better. Point of suggestion: If it does not look good, get rid of it.
Next, the storyline. The writers could have at least applied the least-used fantasy clichés, but they did not. The main hero enters the fantasy world through the pages of the comic books. Hello?! A-ha music video? Alamat ng Lawin? Winnie the Pooh? Superbook? Any of these programs ring a bell? Again, the writers treat the audience like three year-old kids. Are there more to expect in the story? Probably, but I'd rather read a fairytale book; at least it does not give headaches. Also, expect a million tons of fight scenes and a story revolving around the ho-hum, two-dimensional premise of good versus evil.
Another point of suggestion: If you put CGI's and cliché story lines, it does not mean everybody will watch the show.
Anybody wondering why this show is not rating well? I sure do hope ABS-CBN has a house priest, because after this desecration of FPJ's remains, I'm sure FPJ is extremely offended. The hosts of Lizardo and Panday himself might join forces and haunt them and their families for all eternity.
Confess your sins, folks!
Please visit www.innocentyears.blogspot.com for more commentaries and for you recations.
Qpids (2005)
Stupids
'Qpids' is what you get when you cross 'That's Entertainment' with 'Starstruck' and winding it down to a brain-numbing shallowness of a reality show.
Don't get me wrong, but 'Qpids' is big: to the hyper-teenage girl group that is. 'Qpids' is a "love-team" search, to say the least. Eight pairs battle it out through stupid love games and quizzes, and in the end, a boy and a girl win it out as the best love-team of them all. The show market upon the 'kilig' factor, and what else would the lovestruck teenager bite but the shallowness and emptiness of blind puppy love.
If that is the case, we also have this program to thank for leading our teenage children astray.
And that's it. No more, no less. The little girls might love it, but to the rest of us who's looking for a bit more thinking, sophistication, and wisdom from our television, we should look somewhere else... Somewhere really really far.
Kampanerang Kuba (2005)
Fantasy... and insanely laughable
As a self-proclaimed TV and movie critic I decided to give 'Kampanerang Kuba', a chance, much like all the other Philippine movie and TV shows I reviewed. I wasn't disappointed: It was so insanely shallow and mind-numbing I was literally on the floor laughing my brains out. Truly I have never laughed so hard in my life, and what made this soap opera so funny is that the makers never meant it to be that way.
'Kampanerang Kuba' is a TV remake of the popular Vilma Santos movie, Whoever thought that remaking corn-and-camp 60's movies into TV soap opera musicals must absolutely be out of their minds. This time around, "Paris Hilton of the Philippines" Anne Curtis stars as the Quasimodo--or rather--Quasimoda character who, by magical and fantastical reasons, is transformed into a pretty girl and thirsty for revenge against those pretty boy jocks who did not take her out to prom night.
I was laughing my brains out because the show is just fantastically terrible it was laughable. It wasn't as bad as, say, 'Manos: the Hands of Fate', but comparable to classic BAD movies of Ed Wood. It wasn't a bit funny on the supposed funny scenes, but it was a Hell of a lot of fun during the campy scenes: Do you want to know where our hunchback heroine came from? FROM THE ENCHANTED LAND OF THE SINGING HUNCHBACKS! Yes, somehow, somewhere, there's an alternate magical land where everyone is an equally beautiful hunchback with a beautiful singing voice. How crazy can you get?
Next, The immortal soapish elements are present in here, making KK look like the cast of 'Pangako Sa Yo'playing dress-up. Yes, It's very early to make fun of this terrible show, but this is the same feeling as knowing a film will definitely suck even after just a few minutes of viewing it. KK is so terrible and repetitive, it will make you gouge your eyes out.
The only nicer elements of KK is that of the performance of soap legends of Jean Garcia and 'Ms. Powers' herself Eula Valdez. However, even with the insertion of these two power players (which we've seen before in 'Pangako Sa Yo'), the two of them cannot redeem this titanic production.
This being said, somebody ought to ban fantaseryes, telefantasyas, and all of it's incarnations. Somebody should start a revolution.
Bahay mo ba 'to (2004)
simple, ingenious sitcom premise
Who would've thought that an ingeniously simple sitcom premise would turn out to be a prime time top-rater? 'Bahay Mo Ba 'To' is the story of a house divided--literally--between two quarreling siblings whose families and neighbors are caught in the middle of punchline crossfire. 'Bahay' stars comedy veterans Tessie Tomas and Ronaldo Valdez as the warring siblings, and Wendell Ramos, Mike Nacua, and Sunshine Dizon as their children. The supporting cast include Sherilyn Reyes, Gladys Reyes, Tiya Pusit, and Francine Prieto whose character is hopelessly in love with Kempee de Leon's gay character Harold.
What made 'Bahay' a hit was its humble story premise which reflects everyday Filipino lives. Let's face it, sibling rivalry is very common among families, and having great comedians like Tessie and Ronaldo making fun of it helps ease the problems away. Not to mention the comic exchanges of Francine and Kempee, the sitcom is a winner among Filipino households.
'Bahay' makes a revolution on Philippine prime time sitcoms because of it's premise: it's so simple and effective one has to think why oh why on earth no one ever thought of it before.
Kudos to the brilliant minds who conceptualized 'Bahay', for they are now reaping the benefits.
Encantadia (2005)
'The Lord of the Rings' Reduced to Local Soap Mush
I have heard in an interview somewhere that the production people of GMA's new fantasy soap opera 'Encantadia' admittedly watched the special features on the DVD release of the recent Blockbuster movie 'The Lord of the Rings' in order to get a grasp on how to create a full production in a high-fantasy setting.
Of course, their 'research' does not go unnoticed: 'Encantadia' is now the most watched show on Philippine TV. The people behind the show seemed to have caught the spirit of the movie it copied: colorful costumes, CGI settings, even the lovable animatronic characters were caught to a sharp T. There's only one problem though: Hello??? Universal storyline that applies to all humankind? Where are you? The producers caught everything from LOTR except the one thing that made it all special to millions worldwide: The solid themes of fellowship, perseverance, and corruption that leads to imminent danger.
Let me deliver a comparison: in LOTR, a simple, almost nobody-homebody proves that even the smallest person can change the course of the future as he goes through the toughest obstacles in his life to save the world.
in Encantadia: a royal family struggles to keep their power amidst the threats of destabilization from other groups. The story does have attempts at the usual 'universal storyline' themes (fairy princess/infant stolen and forced to live poor life, mortal falls in love with immortal, etc), but these petty events don't add up to the big picture. Wait a minute... What is the big picture anyway?? No epic quest, no test of friendship, no test of resolve or integrity, no character exploration; Just a series of soap operatic events. I guess in the end all we have to expect is that the hero royal family wins.
Storyline aside, the show works well anyway. The costumes and masks seemed believable enough. How about the mythology? What makes stories such as this is how this 'alternate world' came to be. Again, Tolkien turns over in his grave: the world of 'Encantadia' seemed to have popped out of nowhere. Unlike LOTR which originated from the creation story 'Ainulindale' from the unforgettable epic book 'The Silmarillion', 'Encantadia' does not provide a mythology which makes the story (like 'Mulawin' before it) unbelievable and a tad uninteresting.
Cheers to the network for creating a top-rater, and jeers to the shortcomings intelligent viewers cannot overlook.
By the way: who ever said intelligent viewers were the market of 'Encantadia'?
Darna (2005)
Annoyingly bad special effects; But who cares? It's a phenomenon!
the Darna Checklist: Scantily-clad flying super-heroine? Check. Supervillains trying to take over the world? Check. Handsome love interests? Check. Fantastical special effects? Well...
Darna is a promising new concept on TV: a comic-book like storytelling of the trials of a Superheroine destined to become the savior of mankind against super evil that is desperate to create havoc all over. Angel Locsin, fresh from her stint as bird-girl Alwina on 'Mulawin' starts as Darna, the local version of Wonder Woman. Actors and included in the bill are Eddie Garcia, Sandy Andolong, Christopher de Leon, Alessandra de Rossi, and a whole slew of other great actors.
Even the commercialization of the parent network was outstanding: there is no lack of TV guesting and promotions. In fact, the first few episodes are top-raters.
However, there are a few shortcomings that are not easy to overlook. Firstly, some of the special effects are so bad, its annoying. Obviously, the directors lack of vision, and probably due to the lack of budget alloted for special effects. However, no high budget is needed if the director had the vision... Peter Jackson and George Lucas created their first masterpieces with virtually no budget at all.
Secondly, the characters are one-dimensional: Evil aunt is evil. Hero girl's parents are pitiful. Oh and don't forget a big evil snake ala-anaconda to make things worse.
Thirdly, overacting, overacting everywhere! Hello Sandy Andolong? We can't blame her actually, she hasn't acted for a while. But isn't your 'screaming evil character' just too much? We hope there's development regarding this on future episodes.
n a final note, regardless of all these wee complaints, Darna is still a top-rater among evening audiences. The problem arises when audiences will finally realize that these problems are hard to overlook, Darna might lose the top spot.
John & Marsha (1973)
Unforgettable, classic TV
'John en Marsha', humbly speaking, is the Philippines' answer to foreign family TV classics such as 'The Honeymooners', 'Bewitched', and the like.
JEM is the definitive family TV sitcom: poor and prudish man John (lovingly played by Dolphy) marries rich sweetheart Marsha (the late Nida Blanca) much to the dismay of the bride's doting mother Dona Delilah (Dely Atay-atayan). The situation escalates when John shelters his family in a dilapidated house, and he rejects all the financial help Dona Delilah insultingly gives the family.
Filipino audiences embraced 'John en Marsha' with open arms because it naughtily and lovingly reflected the life of the typical working class family during its time. Add to this the comical situations insults exchanged by John and Dona Delilah equals a weekly problem-buster for the entire family.
All other family sitcoms that came after JEM are imitations, solely because JEM already covered all aspects of the family sitcom. Being the classic it is, 'John en Marsha' will always be the best family sitcom ever seen on TV.
Now the question remains: when do we get to see episodes of this show on DVD?
Saang sulok ng langit (2005)
Suicide-inducing depression
If there ever was a world record for most clinically-depressing afternoon show, 'Saang Sulok ng Langit' takes the cake.
The only other story that rivals 'Saang Sulok' is 'Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events' wherein the lead characters go through a series of really depressing events such as getting their parents killed, eating out of garbage cans, getting separated from their other siblings, being sold to slavery, among others. In other words, there seemed to be nothing going for the kids, except expect more depressing circumstances to happen to the three of them.
Now blame me because the show is just barely on their first few weeks, and i'm sure there will be a lot more things that will happen to the lead characters. Maybe one day, one of them will become rich by divine intervention (which is the usual occurrence in a soap opera such as this). However, I believe the show was off on a very bad start. The writers of the show just never gave hope to the lead characters and the audience something to look forward to.
The show makers ought to do something big to keep 'Saang Sulok ng Langit' back on track.