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Movies to Avoid by Totseans
Reviews
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
Don't believe the critics
Go watch it, and trust me it's IMAX/3D worth it. It's just amazing in every way. Watch this and support it vs Captain Marvel.
The Fate of the Furious (2017)
Better than the last one.
So, if you're reading this and thinking man should I watch this flick? I will make it simple for you.
Go to the nearest Cinema, IMAX if possible, make sure the Screen is big and the sound is loud, grab some pop corns and get ready to have FUN. I expected this movie would be decent but it was unexpectedly good, I mean come on it's F&F, if you're going to sit there and think about plot holes and some stunts then you're going to miss the fun.
From start to finish, I didn't have much complaints, it had some decent twists but overall, you can predict some things easily, however the fun lies in action and team comedic timing.
Oh yeah you see some nice booty action, the trademark of F&F.
In the end, don't take my word for it, if you enjoy: Cars Girls Mindless Action Comedy You will love this. The audience loved it too. By the way, there is no end credit scene, so you can leave but the sound track is good.
They Look Like People (2015)
An Epic Movie Experience
I am surprised it's not up their with high budget films because this flick is just amazing, the camera-work, the score, the acting everything just screams Oscar worthy.
I bet if they had the time they could cast any actor.
Let's talk about the action scenes, they really do highlight amazing off the charts choreography, I mean Jet Li would be impressed, some of the moves were pure amazing.
And to top it of, the acting was ground breaking, I was in tears in some scenes and sitting on the edge clasping for air in fighting scenes.
And the PLOT, so fast paced I forgot where it went, at the end credits I just stood up and clapped for 6 hours straight, I have told all my friends about this movie, we are planning to make a fan club and we will await the sequel, hope to see this flick break the box fox, Deadpool has nothing on this.
If you're reading this review. You should totally see this flick.
p.s. Hint: sarcasm.
Dance Camp (2016)
Please, watch something else.
If the first review didn't say it clearly, I am hoping this will clear the air. If you value your time and you have something better to do, like sleep, eat or watch other movies, I suggest you do it.
Watching this flick is painful, and although it has bunch of talented people, they all just fall flat, it's a dance movie that doesn't have good routines...
It's a dance movie that lacks charm and real competition, I mean the guy they're competing with just...
Sure it's low budget and stuff, but come on, you could do a lot better. I am hoping by giving honest feedback, Youtube Red or whoever supported this flick will avoid doing the same mistake.
Again, watch something else. Avoid this.
Yûsha Yoshihiko (2011)
Basically the best show there is (at least for me)
The Hero Yoshihiko, I am referring to both Season 1 and Season 2. It's a fun, highly entertaining show which pretends it's in some RPG, we have a Hero, a warrior, a wizard and flat patty. (whom i find cute and adoring). The acting is TOP notch, the comedy routines are excellent. It's just fun to watch and I can't wait for another season.
Even the Soundtrack is interesting, I am specially found of ED from Season 2, the soft uplifting music is just great. I should say that Season 1 looks low budget but Season 2 is more polished, the effects are basic yet workable.
If you enjoy playing RPG or ever played Dragon Quest, Skyrim you will most definitely love this. Highly recommended.
The Art of the Steal (2013)
Unexpected
Unexpected outcome, I just randomly watched it without looking it up, it starts you enjoy it and then you laugh for a while and then you pause it. (Which I did) and then you resume and don't stop till you finished it all.
Because it gets a bit slow at some point and if you're not into the film or don't know where it's headed you tend to lose focus but if you stick around, you get to see some entertainment.
I mean some funny entertainment. It has a good plot, you second guess things and their is this air of a major mess up that you can't shake, it's like you know things are going well but there has to be something that will mess up.
That keeps things interesting. Overall, it was far better than expected. Worth watching at least once.
Humor may or may not work for everyone.
Not Another Happy Ending (2013)
Romantic Comedy that worked for me
I will keep it short and to the point:
Things I love:
Soundtrack
Karen Gillan
The location
The Romance
Writers life
Karen famous nude scene (nice ass by the way)
Things I don't love:
Feels long
Sometimes I can't understand the damn accent
Cliché scenes
The writers fans
Didn't fancy her dad
To conclude, the first stage was interesting to some extend but then it fell off thanks to the duration and the twist, by which time I stopped watching the movie and continued working, before going to bed I decided just to watch few more minutes and that's the end of it, from that point onwards I didn't stop until I finished it. I guess I rooted for the guy and really wanted a happy ending in the end. It's sort of emotional but none of the points worked for me, it was more like romance/comedy which is what I wanted to see. Karen is hot as always, got a sweet spot for her (dig red heads) I do like the lead and his style. I don't know this movie which worked for me and I actually feel a lot better after watching it.
I do recall saying HELL YEAH at the end and proclaiming my desire to meet someone like the lead or at least share what they had.
So, for me it was worth the watch.
Whose Line Is It Anyway?: Show No. 521 (2003)
Tears and Laughter
Found this episode later on, I have seen first few seasons and they're always interesting but this one caught me off guard. I heard about Richard Simmons episode as one of the best ever but I was curious.
I Google'ed about him and found out he likes to dress a bit over the top and he is a fitness guru. In this age, one might consider it normal. But the real fun began when he arrived in.
All I can say is, you wished you were in the audience, I have never seen an audience respond in this way. I was banging my computer table, screaming and just losing control.
I mean I thought I might die if they don't tone it down. It was just brilliant. I think this might be the best episode of Whose Line Is It Anyway ever.
If you haven't seen it, torrent it, look it up on YouTube, just watch it. You will not be disappointed.
ABCD (Any Body Can Dance) (2013)
Skip to the Dance Routine
As a avid fan of the Step Up series, I am open to watching dance movies and I am adjusted to the plot hole issue. In dance movies there is always something that doesn't add up. I agree that even Step Up series has its own set of problems but I should mention that ABCD did try their best.
If you just judge this movie based on the music, dance routine and overall look, it will be awesome, simply one of the best from Indian Cinema but if you add the other factors it just goes down.
But then again, their is still hope for future movies. Also, I did watch Special 26 it was great. But it doesn't have the unity factor that this movie aims to highlight and showcase.
Kurogane no rainbareru (2008)
Loved it
Writing this short review after watching 26 episodes of Linebarrels of Iron, the episodes were from the DVD's.
I usually prefer subs but in this case I went with the English Dub. I am not really a fan of Mecha Anime and anything related to Giant Robots fighting each other. But after seeing first few episodes I saw some potential in this anime and thought it might contain tons of action, romance, comedy and a harem based theme *which it did*. I love Anime which revolves around one guy controlling the hearts of different girls. Kouichi is our hero in this consistent anime. He is easily bullied, he is someone who gets beaten up easily but he does have a passion to be the hero at the end. He fights for justice or at least tries to but he is always powerless to defend others.
Enter Emi Kizaki and Linebarrel. Kouichi Hayase (14 years old) goes nuts with the power and from there the story starts to get complicated. I will admit I wasn't expecting the story to progress like it did, the first few episodes really catch you off guard. But the story gets interesting when we understand the characters past and their relationship with each other. Of all the Anime shows I have seen (seen a lot of them), Linebarrels of Iron is always consistent with their episodes. I watched 26 episodes back to back and there weren't any filler episodes (When it comes to fillers Naruto and Bleach are the worst). The story always kept moving, the action was there and yes I will admit the Opening Song wasn't good but the ED awesomeness neutralized it.
The English dubs were spot on. I enjoyed them over the subtitles. Romantic side of this Anime is a bit complex; you literally want to bang your head because there is always something new popping up (you can sense the sexual tension but it never reaches climax). That did irritate me a lot but the action and fights make up for it. If you're looking for a Mecha Anime, Linebarrels of Iron is the perfect candidate, it's fun and has some really good fight sequences. It will give you a good introduction into the world of robots.
Overall, I recommend this Anime and I am glad I watched it. Although there is a potential for making it better or extending it to another Season, I don't think that will be a good idea.
I am tempted to read the Manga as well.
From totseans.com
Chop Kick Panda (2011)
It's bad enough for me to rant about it
I am more offended by the fact that NF thought I would like this than I would be if a homeless man grabbed my privates on the train, announced that two of were to be married and then successfully argued in court that said proclamation constitutes a verbal contract. Furthermore, if I were to marry aforementioned bum and subsequently be cheated on multiple times by my forced same sex partner, I would still be less offended by that that I am by the fact that I would like this movie. If GOD himself came down to Earth and announced to the world that I am the creation he is least proud off (including Lucifer) and I am to walk the Earth for eternity for the expressed purpose of demonstrating to the rest of creation what happens when you have the misfortune of being a loathsome wretched creation so hideous that you are an affront o the creator, I would be less offend than I am by the fact that NG though I would like this.
In short avoid this movie.
www.totseans.com
Buck (2011)
Respect
Informational, moving and just an awesome documentary, I always wanted to ride a horse or own one in the future and I thought that the whole breaking aspect would require me to beat the living crap of the horse or just show him that I am more powerful than him. Boy I was wrong, this documentary taught me a lot of things, it helped me to understand more about horses and how they respond and behave. From what I learned, they're just like little kids who need to be taught or guided. You can beat the kid or you can form a relationship where he can understand what's right and wrong. It also gives you an insight about how animals behave and how much your energy molds their behavior. Buck isn't a miracle worker, he is just a human being who is sensitive to Animals, if you focus hard enough and spend some time you can have the same bond as Buck has with the horses. It's all about respect, guts and love.
All your horses are a mirror to your soul, if they behave badly, if they bite or attack others it's probably because you're the same way, the more humble, kind and loving you are, the more the Animal would be like you. Buck is honestly a real humble human being, considering his past and what has been through, it's amazing how different he is and that simple fact inspires me that I can be different, I can be good and loving to my future sons or daughters. I suggest you give this a watch; it's really something that will help you understand some simple yet essential things.
www.totseans.com
Aa Megamisama (2005)
Soft and Sweet
Didn't see the Anime or Manga. Decided to watch the movie instead. At first it gets a bit confusing because you don't know the background but you quickly catch up. It truly is a romantic action filled with love story that has the power to touch your heart and wish for true love or a lower just like our Goddess. I did love the concept of having Goddesses helping you out, alas it's true only in the Anime.
Overall, it was pretty great. I enjoyed it fully, I was close to tears at some point but held it together. I just wish I could find someone that I could love unconditionally as well.
Highly recommended.
Immortals (2011)
Freida Pinto as Phaedra, Are You KIDDING ME!
I don't give negative reviews but this one deserves it. I hated the fact that Freida Pinto played as Phaedra, and if that wasn't enough the whole movie just seems to be full of effects and nothing else. The GODs were misrepresented, the myths were badly altered and if that doesn't make things worse, the plot didn't make any sense.
I mean don't get me wrong, it has some great effects and tons of slow motion blood splatter but other than that, nothing much and WHY can't they cast proper actors. Would it hurt to cast the main actress that would resemble a bit closely to the legend? Don't waste you money on this, I torrented this but it did waste my time. So, -1 for that.
Air (2005)
Amazing
Didn't watch the series so, I have no idea what is what, but my GOD the motion picture was amazing. I should have gotten some tissues with me because it's actually quite moving.
Since it's an alternate retelling of the story which you see in the series, I guess I can go about and discuss certain points. The movie goes back and forth between two different tales which are beautifully interwoven together. You see some scenes of the old story and then you see the same thing repeat in the main story but obviously it's a bit different.
It really is heart moving story, the ending is indeed a bit rushed and it takes time to understand what is what but even with limited knowledge of what is going around, it's still quite powerful.
I can't recall any other Anime movie which was so simple yet so beautiful in its own way. The music was simply elegant (I am currently looking for the OST). But I am impressed by the work, it could have been much better honestly but even in this form it's still worth watching.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (2005)
Writing this Review After Watching 6 Seasons
Most of the reviewers just watch one or two episodes and then review things but I prefer to actually watch some Seasons before writing a review. When I first watched the season 1 and 2 I was shocked because everything was so dumb. The cast was something that I usually don't see and the way they acted and the plot was amazingly stupid, yes it was stupid but in a funny way.
I watch this show whenever I eat or have time to kill, it's a pretty good stress reliever especially thanks to the story line. It's pretty generic because they back and forth between doing something right and then messing everything.
Obviously we see some rehashed episodes but that's TV for you. The Season 6 seems a bit dull to me compared to the other seasons but I am happily downloading Season 7 now.
Don't take this for an epic something, it's just a funny show that some may or may not enjoy, for me it's a welcome change compared to other shows. I just hope they prefer to end the show then let it go down like the other known shows.
Must watch if you want to see something different. Do not compare it to other shows or don't THINK too much.
www.totseans.com
Saber Rider and the Star Sheriffs (1987)
Forgot About This, Glad I Stumbled On To It
This show was aired by STN or some other Pakistani network way in the past, I should to adore this, I mean I really, really loved it. It was just amazing. The ship, the characters, everything was perfect. I would sing the theme song and I can easily recall few key episode scenes.
I think this was one of the best cartoons I ever saw when I was kid. The action was amazing, the robots and the whole cowboy look was grand. Not to mention the story.
I am on a quest to find this series again. I will re-watch all the episodes, it's part of my childhood that I want to relive. I have been watching some recent anime and cartoons but nothing comes close to this. I can still feel the excitement that I had when I was a kit, just be listening to the theme song.
Highly recommended! www.totseans.com
Tekken: Buraddo benjensu (2011)
They Don't Shake
Not really a Tekken fan otherwise I would have loved the movie. I enjoyed the music and the fight scenes but I had a hard time focusing on the female characters. The problem is with the way there bodies react.
I am accustomed to watching people body muscle move in a certain fashion when they're moving and when we have 4 main female characters, it's really hard to avoid noticing that part. Hence, throughout the movie it kept bugging me.
If only they moved it around a bit, the whole movement would seem natural. The CGI was a bit repetitive when it comes to the scenes but I guess you can't really complain about that considering what the movie is based on.
Apart from all those minor issues that I noticed and personally felt, the movie is indeed fun to watch, although I have to skip the dialogues because the dub was just messing up everything. I guess this movie should be watched in it's original language with subtitles enabled.
Again, don't get me wrong. I liked the movie, I am just a bit put off by certain things that I couldn't stop noticing. Didn't see other Tekken movies and honestly reading the reviews, I am glad a didn't.
The movie does contain some good action, perhaps a bit more of it would be awesome. Good job NAMCO.
Top Shot (2010)
Watched Season 1-3 and loved it
I read the reviews regarding this show and decided to chip in, considering none of the reviewers watched or kept up to date with the new seasons, I thought it would be best if someone who actually bothered to watch the show commented on it.
First of all, it's a show, it has to have those slow motion shots and close cuts because that's how you make something like shooting interesting, the show runs off money and you have to attract more audience in order to survive. Sure, people will love a static camera fixed on a single board but not everyone will love it. When directing or making the call you must research your audience.
Moving on, the whole reality based environment is amazing, you see certain amount of sportsmanship and you see people working under pressure and in case of season 3, you see different people with different backgrounds trying to fight things out.
The firearms are impressive, I am sure majority of them I wouldn't even get a chance to touch IRL let alone fire one and that makes the show more appealing, plus it shows that anyone can fire a gun but you need to have training and the right mindset to excel.
The season 3 ending is by far the best season in terms of drama and marksmanship, it's the only season that got me motivated enough to come here on IMDb and write a review.
In short folks, this isn't much, I am sure there is room for improvement but I don't see any other alternatives to this show, so if you like guns and love watching guns shoot and want to learn a thing or two about firearms and different techniques, look no further.
Totseans.com
The Trashmaster (2010)
Something you don't see everyday
At first I wasn't interested in watching it. Like others I wasn't keen on watching something like this. But after avoiding it for a while, I decided to give it a go.
The first thing you notice is the creativity. You don't see people make feature films using video games. It's not an easy job although you might be able to control the objects better it's still a tricky thing to do. After 5 minutes you're hooked because the story gets interesting and the scenes are just fantastic. I am not saying you can compare it to real Hollywood action flicks which fall in the animation category. I am just saying considering the tools it was a job well done.
I would recommend people to at least give it a sneak preview.
Totse.info
Open Season 3 (2010)
Good Luck With Everything.
Why does everyone think that kids are stupid or they can't actually spot a poorly made movie. I watched Open Season 1 and 2 before. IMO they were fine children movies. Now, I have seen some weak animations before but this really surprised me.
I tried to laugh in this movie but I think my hand was busy facepalming. In short, I regretted watching this movie. I thought maybe they will end with a bang and I would get some fond memories out of it, but no, they just ruined all the magic and probably made me hate this trilogy.
Unless you're a slow kid or just love these characters, I would recommend you avoid this movie. Watch something else or try watching something from the past.
TL;DR, Life is short, don't waste it on this one.
Frozen (2010)
Hahaha You Serious?
Okay, within 10 minutes I knew this movie would go down obvious fail train track but I decided to just go with it. Since the plot was simple and everything was dumbed down, I didn't have to worry about anything. After 50 minutes mark I was quite mad because the actors were idiots or they didn't watch any survival shows or didn't read or were just uneducated at best.
The dialogues were dry but I was hoping to see some real emotional drama in this movie but alas, they just went overboard with it. But if you just turn off your logical senses and just believe that this could and did happen, you would really enjoy this movie.
But if for some reason you started observing things and actually put some effort into guessing what will happen next or what should happen next, you will hate yourself and would probably look up the director and script writers and think about killing them.
This movie was and is aimed at dumb America. It basically goes overboard with worst case scenarios. The only thing that kept me going was the acting and the sheer wtf factor of this movie. I didn't buy/rent this movie so it just wasted my time but still I learned something from it.
I would recommend everyone to watch this movie because if looked from another angle it's quite funny. You can even play the guessing game with your mates like, look that dude is going to jump. Guess what will happen? I am sure they can't guess what's coming for the fallen actor.
Review by Totse.info
Inception (2010)
A Must SEE!
What sets inception apart is the randomness of the plot, It's doesn't follow what we normally call a predictable plot. It's like a game with different levels but each time the player in this case the viewer has to remember things. Like how deep are we, how much time do we have? On top of that you have to deal with multiple dimensions and a different story in each level. If that's not enough, the visual aspect of this movie alone is ridiculous. Anyone who says Inception doesn't have much in the action department is a moron (someone I knew IRL).
I watched this in 480p and I regret doing it because as soon as the movie starts going down some levels you get to see some amazing visual eye candy, from building recreating itself to some mind blowing exploding effects. This movie is meant to be watched again and again.
Now, majority of viewers (mostly Pakistani I knew) couldn't understand this movie that I can blame on language barrier but mostly their lack of imagination. Most people aren't great with following a story and try to guess what's coming next, since most viewers watch movies in zombie mode which basically means they just watch it for fun and don't really think about it. You need a certain mindset to absorb or understand inception on the first go. Granted if you watch the movie (any movie) second time you notice major things like different dialogues some small things that you forgot, but most of the time you get the main story right.
Inception sort of mind f**ks you, it tries to hide the main plot and throws the user in sub plots which completely confuse you if you're not paying attention. So, IMO case I had to use head phones and watch the whole movie with my mind open. That wasn't really necessary because the movie is very simple. I mean it's not like some difficult mystery or something really hard to grasp. It just has some depth and a dynamic plot. I blame the viewers for their lack of education or knowledge or experience.
So, all in all Inception is a joy ride which everyone should enjoy if they just pay some attention. It does have its mind f**k moments but if you keep things in perspective and only focus on the main story you can easily see where the movie is going on. And I did enjoy the ending since it keeps you guessing and you can make different interpretation of the ending easily.
Highly recommended and please: A) Use Headphones B) Watch in 720p or 1080p, anything else is just embarrassing.
By totse.info
Valhalla Rising (2009)
Great if you know what's going on.
Like many others I was expecting some one on one action but it turns out this movie is quite different and mostly unexpected. I can't really say I enjoyed this movie because I was trying to skip through it but I couldn't. The story is slow and if you like fast paced movies this one might be a bit unbearable.
Story wise there isn't much going on, the viewer pretty much starts joining the pieces soon enough and as the movie rolls on you start to loose interest but still it will keep you hooked long enough to finish the movie.
The only thing that irritated me where the color effects. The extra effects weren't polished and my eyes were constantly highlighting them. Overall it's a good movie and it's deep if you start thinking about it. Recommended but not for everyone.
Clash of the Titans (2010)
It's all about action people.
Story,Action, Action, Action, Some story, Action, Action, Family. I just described the movie. Was it bad? Nope, Was it Good? Kind of.
I am a fan of GODs and especially demigods. This movie has lots of actions and since I have read some novels, I really loved the action and fighting and the awesome CGI and the wicked cool monsters. But if someone who doesn't read about GODs and doesn't understand the story watches it, his reaction will be a bit different. For me the actions was the biggest reason I didn't watch Clash of the Titans original movie. I wanted to see the monster and just be WOW'd by the fight scenes. But this movie lacks character building and other important bits which some movie watchers will miss.
In any case, the movie doesn't bore you. It's fun and entertaining.