Change Your Image
unbrokenmetal
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
El caballero del dragón (1985)
Stranger in a strange land
"Star Knight" ("El caballero del dragon") is a weird little movie. It doesn't work as a comedy, it doesn't work as a sci-fi movie, and it doesn't work as a love story, yet it is a little bit of all these.
The alchemist Boetius (Klaus Kinski) tries to summon a demon, but instead the alien Ix (Miguel Bose) lands with a space-ship on earth. The knights of the country think the space-ship is a dragon, but fail miserably to "slay" that dragon. The local priest (Fernando Rey) wants to hold Boetius responsible for the probably not related event. When a local princess is abducted, her father agrees that Boetius and the invincible alien warrior must be fought and sends his the best knight (Harvey Keitel), but the princess is now in love with Ix and asks Boetius to save him.
The comedy elements like the Green Knight who wants to fight everyone crossing "his" bridge are terribly unfunny. The love story, why the princess should fall in love with an alien who can't even speak, is inexplicable. The movie has a lot of good ideas, also the casting of Klaus Kinski as the good guy is a rare choice, but nothing works in this movie. Except that this mess is somehow entertaining because it's definitely unusual and you won't have seen something like this before.
Le gendarme et les extra-terrestres (1979)
Metallic doppelgangers
I saw this movie at the cinema back in the day, and I remember I was slightly disappointed then because there were no actual alien monsters, just humans making metallic noises and stiff movements. However, rewatching it today I'm impressed what a clever little movie this is. Going into a genre which is clearly beyond its budget, arming its heroes only with a bucket of water, it plays virtuously on the classic doppelganger theme. Again and again, aliens and their flying saucer appear, but who will believe the eyewitnesses that they are among us? Cruchot and his team on their 5th mission (of 6 in total) are fighting an amusing battle, dedicated to the max. The flick was definitely better than I remembered it.
Megalodon: The Frenzy (2023)
Feeding five fish for fun?
Asylum flicks were always cheap, but oftentimes fun nonetheless. This one, unfortunately, was quite annoying. Trying to exceed previous Megalodon movies, The Frenzy doesn't show one or two, but five of those beasts. Can't say it's 5 times as scary, though, when CGI never makes them more than cartoon characters. Eric Roberts stars as a captain commanding 2 "marines". He always shouts like a whole crew stand before him, but the next shot will mercilessly reveal the same 2 guys. They didn't have money for 5 extras in uniforms, so I presume Mr Roberts was as embarrassed as the audience. The same surely goes for the "scientists" pretending to read instruments while staring at an empty wall. Nope, this flick definitely crossed the borderline between cheap and ridiculous. In several scenes, characters just invite sharks to kill them and thus take them out of this movie. Although these, uh, 'heroic' death scenes make you cringe, one can't blame them.
Prey (2022)
A real bliss in a time of mostly uninspired sequels
'Prey' takes the Predator centuries into the past for an early first visit on planet Earth. As we know from previous episodes, the Predator lives to hunt, and thus he gets to fight bears, lions, a bunch of American Natives and white trappers. The story is told from the perspective of one young woman who learns that warriors who face the Predator openly die very quickly, so she tries to run, hide, and then find new ways to fight.
I really liked this movie, but reading the reviews, they are divided and some viewers were disappointed by the movie, so I tried to understand why. I suppose the reason is that this is not much of a sci-fi flick. The first half could as well happen without any extraterrestrial being, just getting to know the characters, their daily life, and their hunt for a supposed lion or bear. Beautiful shots of nature, hardly any dialog. This slow exposition might not be for everybody. The second half makes up for that and includes quite a lot of brutality, arms, legs and heads being chopped off. But the action fans may be missing realism here, asking questions how the girl understands laser beams, invisibility and the alien's gadgets. Well, it's all rather a fantasy then sci-fi then, but still a movie that shows a story I haven't seen before, a real bliss in a time of mostly uninspired sequels.
If you are new to the Predator franchise, don't start with this one, because it doesn't explain the alien creature at all, assuming you know it from earlier episodes.
Adventure Inc. (2002)
More or less a replacement for Relic Hunter
From the producers of the TV series 'Relic Hunter' which successfully ran for 3 seasons, 'Adventure Inc.' was intended to captivate the same audience with more treasure hunts and mystery, but lasted only one season. Michael Biehn as Judson Cross played a different type of researcher than Tia Carrere was, though. She was following her curiosity and instinct, he was more of a hired hand who gets a job done. The stories of 'Adventure Inc.' are said to be based (loosely) on true events which still left enough space for ghosts and fantasy, though. It seems I watched edited versions, cut a few minutes each to make them suitable for afternoon TV. Cross' team consists only of Karen Cliche as Mackenzie Previn and young Jesse Nilsson as Gabriel Patterson. Unfortunately they didn't show a pilot which explains how the team got together, that would have been interesting.
My six favorite episodes:
3) Beyond the Missing Link
The prehistoric bones of the 'Sunda Man' are causing a deadly fight for the highest bid. However, the most eager participant has a personal motive beyond the scientific interest. Interesting episode, in which not only cats have 9 lives.
7) Curse of the Neptune
Cross discovers the wreck of the passenger vessel Neptune which is said to be cursed. Soon deadly accidents happen. The trio decides to dive again nevertheless. They find that the reason why the ship sank was quite different from the history known so far. Atmospheric story with believable characters and a lot of suspense.
9) Fatal Error
And now for something completely different: a mission to Mars. Cross and his team are asked to find the reason for the mysterious disappearance of an astronauts team during their training. Probably inspired by '2001 - A Space Odyssey'; the red eye of the computer surveillance cam makes that obvious. Exciting episode that makes escape from a trap very hard for the heroes.
12) The Angel of St. Edmunds
Cross and his team are searching a golden angel buried with a saint's body. Actually it's hidden somewhere else, and Gabriel has to go an ususual way to get there. With a guest appearance by Christien Anholt of Relic Hunter fame - as a monk who swore an oath of silence, but talks quite a lot.
16) Wave of the Future
The inventor of an underwater breathing device is held in a lunatic asylum. Maybe that is a protection against gangsters chasing his invention? Mackenzie and Gabriel try and get him out. The storyline is quite unusual, an entertaining episode where Mackenzie's diving skills pay off.
22) Trapped
An under siege situation like this didn't occur in any other episode, good variation from the usual stories. Judson's team is locked in a chateau, not knowing why special agents are observing them, and they are even shooting the postman which is illegal in most countries, although they bring so many bills.
La caza del oro (1972)
Let me help you carry that
"Grandpa" Jonathan Carver is released from prison after 20 years, which arouses the keen interest of all kinds of scoundrels, because back in the old days, grandpa had stashed 28 (!) sacks (!!) of gold (!!!) as a kind of 19th century funded pension plan. And he shouldn't have to squander all his wealth alone, right?
After an enjoyable first half, in which one often wonders how the slow old man will manage to escape from his numerous faster pursuers, the second half is Western business as usual with a lot of lead flying around. Properly cast with Anthony Steffen, Daniel Martin and Fernando Sancho, among others, I would therefore only describe the film as average.
The Lair (2022)
Creatures of the Night
Soldiers fighting genetically engineered slimy creatures - it's a kind of mix between John Rambo's mission in Afghanistan with the second Alien movie. From the director of "Dog Soldiers" and "Doomsday", another monster flick which is decently entertaining. Funny enough, for Neil Marshall's previous "The Reckoning", I had high expectations and was a little disappointed. For "The Lair", exactly the opposite: I didn't expect much, but was actually pleased.
The movie is obviously influenced by the mercenary and sci-fi flicks of the 80s and 90s, and well constructed in three acts at 30 mins each. Act 1, the bunker is discovered. Will the army take heed of the warning of an unknown enemy? Act 2, battle at night with the creatures, then more information is gathered, from obduction of a creature's body to unexpected help from a local guy. Act 3, trying to stop the invasion from below. Because also Taliban forces attack, really an action-packed situation. The movie has a few weaknesses, some characters remain shallow as cardboard, some scenes are "we've seen it all before", but it was fun.
The Bates Haunting (2012)
Murder or accident?
Agnes sees her best friend Lily burned to death in a stage show effect that goes wrong. One year later Agnes gets a job offer from the same company. Because she needs the money, she returns to the place of horror which is called 'Bates Motel', coincidentally. Soon further deadly accidents happen, and Agnes begins to investigate...
A good mixture of imaginary horror and true crime. For a low budget flick, it's well filmed and scripted, even with a good sense of humour. The actors are naturally on different quality levels, some almost professional and some very amateurish. Altogether I enjoyed watching it.
Final Days of Planet Earth (2006)
Praying mantis calling
A 3 hour TV movie, broadcast in two parts, based on the SF classic "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" (1956, remade 1978). Six brave citizens discover that insectoid aliens have infiltrated humanity, and since they apparently already control the police and administration, they fight the invasion on their own, armed only with a few knives and a pistol.
That's all kinda smart so far, considering how many other invasion movies have an entire army going in to bombard the aliens. For a manageably budgeted TV movie, the smaller scale works better. Still, we're not talking about a masterpiece here, just an average genre flick.
I was impressed by the performance of Daryl Hannah, who actually plays three roles: the calm astronaut, the concerned mayor's assistant, and the evil alien queen (as shown on the cover artwork, so I don't consider this a spoiler of mine). Extremely different shades, from friendly to demonic, needed to be portrayed here, and she was capable to do that.
65 (2023)
When dinosaurs ruled the earth
It felt so good that dinosaurs - after the increasingly silly movies of the last 20 years which ridiculed and humiliated them - are restored to what they were in the first Jurassic Park: the brutal and scary rulers of their world. Apart from that, I want to praise the makers not for what they did, but what they didn't do.
First, the movie is 90 minutes long. They have a simple story to tell: two people get stranded on this hostile planet, and need to survive. Thankfully that simplicity was not stretched to epic 120 minute length, thus the tension is kept high, with only few flaws in between.
Second, the typical horror stereotypes are avoided, you know the kind of flicks where you have maybe six survivors and then they are killed one by one, usually you can predict who is next. No waste of superfluous characters here.
Third, they always warn actors not to play along a child co-star, because either she steals all the attention from you, or she is annoying and ruins the movie. But neither has happened here, the action is well balanced and gives Adam Driver enough opportunity to shine. The back story about his daughter also explains why he feels so protective.
Agreed, the movie has its weaknesses too, and you wonder why the two haven't been killed at least 5 times, but altogether it was very entertaining.
Sfida nella città dell'oro (1962)
Victimised and loving it
"The Devil of Cape Town" (1962) tells the story of the young tourist Frank who finds some white powder on a trip to Africa, whereupon police commissioner Wilke asks him to lure the drug dealers (who are most likely looking for it) into a trap. Frank immediately agrees to this suicidal proposal, gets abducted and beaten up by the gangsters - and just loves this adventure, happily asking Wilke if he may help some more. Utter nonsense which is stretched to 80 minutes with several tedious dance performances in a bar and African archive footage. It may have passed as a 45 minute TV episode, but as a movie it's extremely poor.
Directed by Alfredo Medori, officially, yet Hermann Kugelstadt and Wolfgang Schleif are reported to have been supervising the German version.
Im Nest der gelben Viper - Das FBI schlägt zu (1966)
Head of the viper
This German-Italian co-production, a low budget spy thriller, was shot in South Africa by the director team Wolfgang Schleif (German version) and Alfredo Medori (Italian version). "In the Nest of the Yellow Viper" tells the story of two agents (Hellmut Lange and Peer Schmidt) fighting a murderous bunch of rogues known as the "Yellow Viper". The agents are determined to uncover the Viper's leader, but he communicates with the gang members only via radio, so nobody knows who he is.
Well cast in other roles with Moira Orfei, Massimo Serato and Gérard Landry, the film is passable, but modest entertainment. I liked some ideas of the script, for example one killer who discovers his conscience and changes sides, or the clever disguise of Peer Schmidt who poses as a hopeless alcoholic so nobody will take him seriously as an agent.
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Less than the sum of its parts
"Dominion" has a lot of good scenes, but the sum of its parts doesn't make a good movie because it's far too incoherent. Someone must have had a list to tick off. Raptors in snow? Check. Dinosaurs sold on black market? Check. Child abduction? Check. Stars of the old trilogy meet stars of the new trilogy? Check. Motorbike chase? Check. Locust invasion? Check. Claire hides from dinosaur in the jungle? Check. Lab on fire? Check.
A lot of pieces which are fun (when they stand alone in a three minute clip) don't make a good movie when they all come together because they don't have a story to tell, it's just a random collection of all ideas someone wanted to throw in. The whole movie isn't entertaining, because the confused audience is trying to sort out this mess and doesn't succeed.
Giù la testa... hombre (1971)
For a few dollars less
Butch Cassidy (Hunt Powers), Ironhead (Gordon Mitchell) and their gang shoot a group of people to steal their horses. However, one of their victims, Macho Callagan (Jeff Cameron), survives and pursues the gang members. The penniless Macho wins a gun at a gamble
and can begin to take revenge. Quite cleverly, he earns the gang's trust first to set Ironhead and Butch against each other.
One of the better Westerns by low budget director Demofilo Fidani, still it serves only the most modest demands. Klaus Kinski plays a small but funny part as a reverend.
Note: "Giu la testa, hombre" is sometimes confused with "Per una bara piena di dollari" from the same director with similar cast. Best way to distinguish them: in that other movie, Kinski plays a bigger part as the boss of the bandits.
Tre per una rapina (1964)
Thriller without a cause
Calling "Tre per una rapina" a thriller doesn't quite get the point across. True, the framework story is about a bank robbery by 4 young men, but most of the running time is spent on their respective personal background, a kind of character (or social) study. One, for example, came from southern Italy to Germany and tried relatively unsuccessful to earn money through honest work. His story is reminiscent of the Italian neo-realism of the 1950s, not only because of the burned out b/w look of the flick. Another robber tries to impress his funky new girlfriend (Barbara Steele in an uncharacteristically funny role), another feels exploited by his father, a factory boss, etc.
The bank robbery itself is amateurishly filmed. The stylistic quality in general isn't sufficient, the most annoying bit is a know-it-all narrator explaining everything in words, instead of letting the pictures do the talking. On the soundtrack, a jazz band happily improvises background music which most of the time is not fitting the darker mood of the story. Therefore, as a thriller, "Tre per una rapina" lacks suspense, as a social study, it lacks quality. Even several good actors (Peters, Steele, Trooger) can't save it.
The Lost City (2022)
Another treasure hunt
The simple story about a writer and a male model getting involved in an exotic adventure didn't have many surprises if you saw other adventure comedies before. It feels a bit like an episode from "Relic Hunter" with 100 times the budget, but not necessarily better ideas. The count of funny scenes against unfunny scenes is at best 50/50. The movie was okay to watch once but doesn't shout for repeated viewings.
The actors are mostly good. Sandra Bullock is slightly older than me and still doing action movies in a tight suit - hats off to her. Channing Tatum does not have a good chemistry with her. Daniel Radcliffe was better than I expected, a good parody of a Bond villain with big money and gadgets. Da'Vine Joy Randolph as the writer's agent, never giving up the search for her, was a good choice as well. Brad Pitt steals the show in the (too) few scenes he's in.
Se t'incontro t'ammazzo (1971)
When I'll meet you, I'll forget you
Jack (Donal O'Brien) finds his family murdered and starts his search for revenge. His enemies hire a dangerous gunman (Gordon Mitchell) to stop him. However, that gunman has a different plan...
The choices in casting are interesting: Donal O'Brien, usually the villain, plays the hero here, while Mario Brega, specialised on bandits in this genre, plays a business man in a suit. Nevertheless, "Se t'incontro t'ammazzo" ("When I'll meet you, I'll kill you") is one of the poorest Italian westerns I've ever watched. Especially the music is annoying; it seems to be lifted from another movie, cut into short pieces and then inserted at random.
Spara Joe... e così sia! (1971)
Vicious attack
"Spara Joe... e così sia!" stars Richard Harrison as Joe Dakota, a man who lives a quiet life, fishing and hunting, until... By unfortunate circumstances, bandits (Jose Torres, Rick Boyd and others) attack him and blind him. Hoping that his eyesight will slowly recover, Joe is picking up a gun to fight the villains, and only one woman is helping him along while he is handicapped.
Below average western with plenty of cruelty. It remained the only western by its director Emilio Miraglia, who delivered better works in the horror genre ("The Night Evelyn Came Out of the Grave", "The Red Queen Kills 7 Times").
Ragazza tutta nuda assassinata nel parco (1972)
Death in the amusement park
An elderly gentleman with a life insurance for a million dollars is found shot dead in the amusement park - on the same day he signed the document. The insurance company doesn't think this is a coincidence and puts their best man, Chris Bayer, on the case, competing with the police inspector as to who'll solve the case first. The smart insurance agent seduces both (!) daughters of the deceased, but despite his, um, "efforts", soon there are more deaths in the family...
Suspenseful, even if unnecessarily confused thriller by frequent filmmaker Alfonso Brescia, who had an excellent cast at his disposal, including Bond villain Adolfo Celi, Robert Hoffmann, Irena Demick ("The Sicilian Clan"), character actor Philippe Leroy and the
stunning Pilar Velasquez. The versatile Leroy is rather wasted here, though.
The Batman (2022)
Detective Story
The beginning of the movie didn't exactly encourage me to watch the entire 3 hours. For a quarter of an hour, Batman doesn't do much. Stands there silently and stares at anybody. Uh-oh, I'm menacing and I wear black. This was supposed to create an air of mystery, while church choirs on the soundtrack supply plenty of pathos. Come on, Batman is the story of a guy in a weird costume catching baddies, it's about gadgets and action, but the makers seem to think they are doing "War And Peace" here.
Somehow after 1 hour, I realised they had caught my attention nonetheless. Avoiding unbelievable superhero show-offs, "The Batman" goes back to basics, a detective story which requires investigations with attention to details and a complicated relationship of several villains controlling the town, without telling to early who the real boss is. And when Batman gets to fight a bunch of terrorists, he definitely would be lost without help from Catwoman. It was clear that there is a certain vulnerability, a limit to what he can achieve. All in all, "The Batman" is not perfect and a bit overblown, but watchable.
La rivincita di Ivanhoe (1965)
Ivanhoe's mild revenge
In the 12th century, knight Ivanhoe returns to England and finds his bride Rowena captured by the evil Hastings senior. The gallant knight wins a duel against Hastings junior, meets a band of outlaws in the forest and with their help attempts to free his beloved.
Mildly entertaining adventure flick starring Rik Van Nutter (billed as "Clyde Rogers"), directed by Tanio Boccia (as "Amerigo Anton"). The script holds no surprises, it is a Robin Hood style adventure by the numbers, but it's without major flaws. Furio Meniconi gets a good role as a hermit coming out of his retirement, so to speak.
Moonfall (2022)
A threat nobody believes in is no threat
I hadn't read any reviews of the movie, so I approached it with an open mind. After watching, I was quite stunned, though, how producers can spend 150 mega-bucks for such trash. The movie seems produced for a small minority of conspiracy loonies, while the majority of sci-fi fans is interested, rather simply, in plausible stories.
It is essential for a disaster film that the threat is believable, which is the case with an asteroid collision, for example. Here, on the other hand, the threat is so ridiculous that it creates no fear. I enjoyed the spectacular effects (not only visuals, but also sound effects are brilliant) and seeing John Bradley ("Game of Thrones") again. That's not much.
Savage Justice (1988)
Ramboline
Sarah, the daughter of the American ambassador in an unnamed Asian country, ends up in the hands of rebel leader Sanchez during a revolution, who forces her to live among them for a year. Sarah finally manages to escape through a jealous rival. Now she's acquiring weapons and helpers, and after a brief stint with kung fu monks, she's ready to get her revenge on Sanchez with a clever plan: frontal assault.
A funny little film about a talentless blonde Ramboline, which was shot in 1988 for a handful of dollars in the Philippines. I first watched it on VHS tape 30 years ago. Due to its naivety, especially in the fight scenes - even the Buddhist monks are happily shooting around with machine guns - it has a certain entertainment factor. But I can't say that watching it a second time this year was a must.
I vendicatori dell'Ave Maria (1970)
The new sheriff
Parker murders the sheriff of the town, then sets fire to the house of his family to disguise the crime. A few circus artists (!) happen to be nearby and save two women from the burning building. Thus they have two witnesses to hide and start to collect more proof against Parker. But Parker becomes new sheriff and suddenly the acrobats are suspected to be bandits themselves...
From the cast and summary mentioning circus artists, I expected a comedy, but this movie is mostly serious and not without the violent action Italian westerns were known for in 1970. "I vendicatori dell'Ave Maria" sometimes seems cheap, for example the music is obviously borrowed from other movies, including "I quattro dell'Ave Maria" by Giuseppe Colizzi. But the story is never boring, it's entertaining enough to watch till the end. Director Adalberto Albertini is known for "Black Emanuelle" and "Star Crash 2", although that doesn't sound like a recommendation.
Sette monache a Kansas City (1973)
Clumsy treasure hunt
"Seven Nuns in Kansas City" tells the story of two gold diggers who make the find of their life. They draw a map, cut it in two halves to return to the precious spot later. But one of them dies and his part of the map falls into the hands of the bandit Bart (Pedro Sanchez, "Sabata"). Most of the movie deals with the search for the other half now, which takes the bandits to various wrong places, involving the nuns of the title and two innocent cowboys.
This is one of he silly comedies created towards the end of the Italian wave of westerns. I mean, one of the really silly spoofs where horses and donkeys talk to each other. Under the circumstances, it is not all bad since, after a weak beginning, the middle part manages to keep the action going. Entertainment on a very modest level, though, I give 3 of 10 points here.