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Showgirl (1998)
Last effort of the legendary Joe D'Amato
Shot in Las Vegas, probably in late 1998, this was the swan song by Aristide Massaccesi, the legendary Joe D'Amato, the very last of circa 113 porn films he made from 1993 to 1998, what made him to be (unfairly) known as the "king of Italian porn", despite the fact he was not an enthusiast of the genre. After completing the shooting, he took a flight back to Rome and died of a sudden heart attack at just 62, a tragic event that put an end to his plans of returning to legit cinema.
The fact it was his last work, makes of "Showgirl" a must see for any fan of the director, who, at this point of his career, was shooting on video instead of 35mm film. Despite the inherent poor quality of video cameras, it is still possible to see some mildly nice compositions that recall us of the great technical skills of Massaccesi as a cinematographer and camera operator, although working here in the automatic pilot and employing a lazy approach that plagues almost all his contributions to the XXX market.
Gorgeous Eva Henger, the main muse of D'Amato in his last productions, plays a woman in search of fame and success. To reach her objectives, she goes to Las Vegas, but the only job she finds is as a stripper, and to get it she has to sexually satisfy her bosses. In a "normal" film, such a premise would bring a lot of moral conflicts to its protagonist, but this is just unpretentious porn and the maximum we have in terms of personal dilemma is Eva commenting that she feels alone wandering through the glamurous pleasures points of the glossy city. After the marathon of unsimulated sex that occupies most of the running time, she gives up of her dreams and returns to her boyfriend. The insinuation that the life as a sex worker makes one to feel empty sounds quite hypocrite coming from a porn product, but let's not take this very seriously. After all, the plot construction is extreme meagre, as is the norm for the genre.
Eva Henger is perfect as a stripper and her two dance numbers are my favorite parts. The other girls are not interesting, in my opinion, but who cares about the rest of the cast when Henger is the protagonist? Her perfect fatal face is memerizing.
Capricci anali (1998)
Gorgeous Eva Henger wasted in boring XXX marathon.
CAPRICCI ANALI (1997)
aka HELL'S ANGEL 3 - THE DEVIL'S LAIR
Oh, well, how to begin this review?
In my opinion, Hungarian former porn star Eva Henger was the most beautiful face of the XXX industry of all time, and I thought her presence was enough to make any film, at least, watchable. However, I was underestimating the "talent" of Joe D'Amato for creating boring porn. Damn, Eva not only is the host here, but also is present in all the sex "episodes", and even so the "film" (if we can use this term) is extremely dull, tedious and boring! It is no secret that D'Amato wasn't interested in porn, but he could, at least, have disguised how mortally bored he was by working in the genre. I wonder how he endured to direct more than 100 hardcore flicks from 1993 to the day of his premature death in early 1999? One could guess that what killed him was the extreme tedium accumulated over the years with the experience. I never will understand why he didn't opt for another venture. Ok, in the 90's the Italian genre cinema was dead, but was he really unable to find any other source of income? I don't know... perhaps he could have traveled to USA and direct cheap erotic thrillers for the direct-to-video and cable market. Also, he could have worked in the porn market as a producer only, letting the director's chair to guys who had a thing for the genre.
One of the most absurd things I heard about D'Amato is that his porn films had structured plots? What plot? Can we call "structured plot" one minute or so of silly dialogues interspersed in the intervals between the sex scenes? I almost fell off my chair when I heard producer Riccardo Billi saying in an interview that with the sex scenes edited out, D'Amato's pornos could easily pass as legit films!!!! Also beyond my comprehension is the choice of shooting most of those "movies" on 35mm film! I mean, to shoot just people engaging in mechanical sex, an amateur video camera was more than suitable.
When he directed this "Capricci Anali", the director had already surrendered to the shot-on-video filmmaking, what fitted better with the lack of a real narrative, in my opinion. The "structured plot" has gorgeous Eva Henger as a sex demon in Hell explaining to us the three categories of sins. According to her, only the first and second categories have relevance and can lead one to eternal damnation. What she says sounds very nonsense and, to illustrate her theory, she invites us to watch sex vignettes that are supposed to be related to the categories of sins she discussed! The problem is that said vignettes have little to no connection at all with her explainations, but are just the typical sex routines that we see in any ordinary porn! I confess I found hilariously charming Eva bearing horns and with cheap make-up to make her look like a demon. Actually, the idea could have been quite funny if they had added narrative to the vignettes, however, the "structured plot", apparently written by Donatella Donati, had no time or patience for providing nothing, but genital action.
"Structured plot" aside, the laziness of D'Amato was such that he, although being a great and veteran cinematographer, not even bothered himself in injecting some creativity in the technical side. Most of the time, he basically established a master shot for each scene, with no alternative camera angles to show details, like close-ups of faces during a dialogue moment, for example, and the more complex camera moves we get are some boring slow zooms-ins to the genitals. Speaking about sloweness, a trademark of D'Amato in these productions was the copious use of slow motion during sex, what adds more boringness to the show. The total technical negligence is also showed in one of the most aberrant continuity errors I ever saw.
Here and there, we are back to Hell to hear Eva saying stupid things like "now, watch this exciting scene that our director made especially for you". Really stupid, but I have to say that the footage in Hell is the only interesting thing. Eva Henger had a perfect fatal face and the shots of her face staring the camera with a perverse gaze was irresistible, to be honest. I wished that the entire film was just her as the devil talking to the camera.
La mansión de los muertos vivientes (1982)
One of the best Jess Franco efforts of the 80s
One of my favorite Jess Franco movies of the 1980s, "La Mansión De Los Muertos Vivientes" is not for every audience. Actually, if you are not inititiated yet in the filmmaker's very unusual and personal style, the film may result annoying and boring. Nevertheless, after getting Jess' point, we discover a small masterpiece, a fascinating journey into the perverse and cynical mind of the most iconoclast Spanish auteur.
Don't create false expectations based on the title. There is no mansion here, but a seaside hotel, and the "living dead" have nothing to do with the flesh eaters popularized by George Romero. They are more similar to the blind dead of Amando De Ossorio. Weather the title was chosen by Jess himself or imposed by the producers is anyone's guess.
The plot is about four German topless waitresses (played by Lina Romay, Mabel Escano, Mari Carmen Nieto and Elisa Vela) who decide to spend a vacation in a Spanish luxury hotel. Things get weird when they discover the place deserted, except for two bizarre staff members. With no man available to satisfy their sexual needs, the four horny girls enjoy some lesbian fun, but soon one by one is victim of an old curse that haunts the place...
This being a typical Jess Franco film, we can't expect a conventional approach of the cinematic grammar. Absurds situations abound in the script, but the director never seemed concerned with realism, an attitude that find technical correspondence in his obsession for ultra slow pacing and overuse of zoom lens, creating something like an alternative dreamlike dimension. Contrary to how they are depicted in most movies, dreams usually are full of illogic details, and it is precisely that distortion of reality, so typical of dreams, that sets the tone of works like this. We can't watch it under the rules of plausibility, otherwise the desillusion will be inevitable. Instead, we need to face it like a dream of its creator.
At first, one can see as "script flaws' facts like the girls wandering through the halls of the hotel naked, not afraid of being catched, or the fact that Lina's character doesn't find strange that the employee in charge of the excursionist sector is the same guy responsible for the hotel reception. However, during our dreams, we "experiece" absurd facts like if they were totally normal, right? The events narrated here seem the product of someone's dream, but we don't see any character sleeping or awakening to justify that. It is like if the audience or the filmmaker himself were dreaming them. And mesmerized by the extraordinary mise-en-scène, we let ourselves be carried along without resistance.
Jess' lack of interest in conventionalism not even respects the rules of cinematic genres. The movie starts as a sex comedy, but gradually assumes a dark path, breaking or playing with our expectations. The almost total absence of music was a great choice, not only because it increases the uncanny atmosphere, but also because the same Daniel White cues repeated over and over in the projects of the period get on the nerves sometimes.
In terms of sexual content, the film offers a lot of nudity and lesbian sex, shot without reserves by Jess' voyeuristic lens, and the viewers only interested in horror will need some patience or a fast forward button to skip the many erotic interludes.
In the cast, besides the four protagonists, there is a very disturbing role played by the excellent Eva León, as a sex slave chained in one of the hotel rooms. Her mix of genuine affliction and sado-maso pleasure is perfotmed in a so convincing way that makes us feel for her pity and repulsion at the same time. Lina and Mabel, as usual, bring extraordinary performances as well, while Mari Carmen Nieto and Elisa Vela are just acceptable.
Perfectly photographed, "La Mansión De Los Muertos Vivientes" shows all the excellency of Jess Franco in creating eerie atmosphere with no money.
Pena de muerte (1974)
Underrated masterpiece.
Seventh film of Jorge Grau that I watched, and it only confirmed he is one of my favorite filmmakers, a great auteur who, for some weird reason, has not received the attention he deserves.
Based on a work of Guy de Maupassant, the film is a breathtaking psychological thriller with one of the most intelligent plot twist I ever saw. Fernando Rey is superb as a magistrate that believes in death penalty as a way of protecting society. He is a troubled marriage, and his wife (played by the excellent Marisa Mell) is having an affair with a writer who opposes to Rey's vision and is determined to prove his thesis in a new book. Strange murders that imitate the ones committed by the criminals condemned to death by the magistrate starts to happen, and an investigation takes place. But, nothing is what seems in this sordid story written by Grau and Juan Tébar, and I can't reveal more to avoid spoilers.
Be careful with the title given to it in the USA, "Violent Blood Bath". Fans of gore may be seduced by this misleading title, and the fact IMDb puts "horror" as one of its genre doesn't help. There is no blood bath here, and the murders all occur off screen. This is the kind of movie where what matters is the character development, and it excells in this department.
Impecably shot, photographed, edited and scored, "Pena de Muerte" deals with a controversial topic without falling in the mere sensationalism or sounding preachy. It is not easy to say if the script is supporting or opposing death penaulty, and this is one of its merits. The last half hour will make you devour all your fingernails, in one of the most brilliant exercises in tension.
Thanks to Vinegar Syndrome for the excellent restoration of this masterpiece. I hope more works of the underrated Jorge Grau receives the same treatment soon.
Halloween (1978)
An Overestimated Mediocre B Movie.
I really can't understand why this silly movie is considered a classic. The script is typical of B grindhouse flicks, with many plot holes and absurdities. Why Michael Myers has super powers, appearing and disappearing like a ghost when is convenient? And why he is obsessed with Laurie? How is it possible that Michael Myers runs from the mental institution driving a car??? Where he learned to drive? And to make things even more absurd, he keeps driving the same car he stole from the mental institution without being noted!!!!!!
I could forgive all this if this film was considered what it is, just another B slasher. However, for some unknown reason, "Halloween" is worshipped not only by fans of horror movies, but also by cinephiles in general! And it definitely doesn't deserve such a good status. Besides being full of nonsense situations, the film is very boring! And no one in the cast has charisma. The soundtrack isn't bad, but plays over and over to the point that becomes annoying!
If "Halloween" is so good, so what is the problem with its sequels and imitations? Let's gonna be fair!
Entre pitos anda el juego (1986)
Boring Porn by Jess Franco
In the middle of the '80s Spanish director Jess Franco directed many hardcore pornos with Lina Romay as the protagonist. I tried to watch this one, but I stopped very soon.
As usual in XXX flicks, there is no plot in this one. What we see are just a series or boring sex scenes made in a comical way. The photography is very good and it would be interesting if they had put some effort in trying to tell a story.
I gave a 2 for this film only because of the presence of Lina Romay. She was wonderful and didn't deserve to appear in things like this.
The Occultist (1988)
Very very very very very bad!
I only own this film because I am a die hard fan of Charles Band and, according to many sources, he was an uncredited executive producer here as well as in three other movies directed by Tim Kincaid. Apparently Band didn't exactly produce those movies, but mostly provided some post-production services and distribution.
The film is terrible. The title has no sense. Who was the occultist after all? A more appropiate title would be "The Bodyguard Cyborg". Nothing can be saved here. The story is ridiculous, the actings are atrocious at the level of a porn movie (that makes sense, 'cause the director was specialized in XXX gay flicks).
I don't understand why Band was interested in financing/distributing Kincaid's stuff. I have also seen "Breeders" and "Robot Holocaust" and they suffer from similar problems. "The Occultist" is the worst of them, 'cause it is all filled with scenes of mediocre dialogues, with little action or horror scenes. The only Kincaid/Band movie I didn't see yet was "Mutant Hunt", starred by Rick Gianasi, who plays the lead here too.
If you are a fan of extremely bad Z movies, you really need to check this.
Alien Abduction: Intimate Secrets (1996)
Interesting movie.
This film was better than I was expecting. It is an intriguing mixture of softcore erotica and alien abduction story. The cinematography by Adolfo Bartoli is simply wonderful. The actings are decent enough and the alien character has a sinister look.
One thing I never understood is why girls never really kiss each other in lesbian scenes. I never saw a kiss between two women have the same intensity as the kisses between men and women in those softcore productions. Is it really that hard for a woman to simulate a lesbian kiss? Or does the audience appreciate the fake kisses? Not me, for sure.
Apparently, Charles Band was an uncredited executive producer in this movie, that being the main reason I watched it.
Laserblast (1978)
Very underrated movie produced by Charles Band.
I really don't understand why this film is so low in ratings.
I usually love the films produced by Charles Band and this one was no exception. A very interesting and entertaining B movie, as only Band knows how to do. If the performances leave something to be desired or the script has some holes, this is not a big problem, as this film does not pretend to be art. Nobody expects that in a B sci-fi movie there will be performances of the Robert de Niro level or that the script will be worthy of a film by Ingmar Bergman.
The objective of this film is just offer unpretentious entertainment, and, in my view, it manages to fulfill that goal.
As for the special effects, they are not inferior to what the idolized Ray Harryhousen used to do.
In short, "Laserblast" is a good film that does not deserve to be so badly rated. There are many worse films out there with very high ratings.
Le farò da padre (1974)
Horrendous erotic comedy which launched the very bad career of Teresa Ann Savoy.
A ridiculous romance between a con man and a mentally retarded teenager who behaves like a baby! That was the idea chosen by Italian director Alberto Lattuada to launch the beautiful English Teresa Ann Savoy in the cinema. The director could not have chosen a worse idea! The plot of the film, vulgar and unconvincing, is very disturbing, contrasting with the tender and sweet beauty of Teresa. It is possible to interpret the bizarre relationship between Saverio and Clotilde almost as an apology for pedophilia! In addition, the film still features grotesque scenes involving feces and urine!
The movie was a great success at the time of its release, but today, it is almost completely forgotten. It is likely that such ostracism is due to the controversial nature of the story.
What a pity that the gorgeous and charming Teresa has debuted in the big screen in such an infamous way. And, to make things worse, she was hired to act in other bizarre productions after that!
Legionnaire's Trail (2020)
Rourke didn't deserve such a horrendos film!!
This is atrocious! I have watched many bad films with Rourke, but this one is in the Top 5 bad list.
80% of the film is filled with an idiot running and running through hills, forests, deserts, rivers. No horses, no Roman legion are showed in the film, probably due to the extremely low budget. The camera work is terríble and the cinematography is ugly! The few lines in the script are ridículous, to say the least!
Mickey Rourke is one of my favorite actors and It is so sad to see him wasted in things like that! His character looks more like an old female indian than a Roman general.
I think is time to retire, Mickey...
A zsarnok szíve, avagy Boccaccio Magyarországon (1981)
Teresa Ann Savoy wasted as always.
Miklos Jancsó is perhaps the most well-known hungarian director outside of Hungary. "A Zsarnok Szive..." is the second and last collaboration between the director and the very beautiful but underused English actress Teresa Ann Savoy (whose most "famous" role was that of Drusilla in the controversial "Caligula").
In their first collaboration, Savoy was wasted in the role of a depraved hermaphrodite in the bizarre "Vizi Private, Pubbliche Virtú" (1975).
In this second collaboration, also co-wrote by Giovanna Gagliardo, Teresa plays a queen in a medieval court, who spends most of her little screen time in a kind of trance. Fans of the actress, like me, will be disappointed to find that, despite appearing first on the cast credits, she hasn't much screen time. So sad because her beauty is incomparable. Why she never was properly used in a movie? Were film producers blind?
The plot of the film seems to be confusing, especially because I watched it in hungarian, with French subtitles. Hungarian, I don't understand anything, and French, I understand very little.
Anyway, the film is extremely boring and repetitive. Ninetto Davoli is very irritating and none of the main actors has charisma. And I really can't understand why Teresa is the first name if she had only a cameo!
Francesco (1989)
Very boring movie.
I just watched this movie because I'm a die hard fan of Mickey Rourke, but I have to say that even with Rourke in a lead role, this film is extremely boring. First of all, a handsome and sexy muscular stud isn't the best choice to play a saint, and Rourke is never convincing in his role here.
The direction of Liliana Cavani is uninspired and the movie looks like a typical made for TV religious drama.
I never thought that I would be bored by a movie where gorgeous Mickey Rourke appears nude, but Cavani got it. The monotonous soundtrack by Vangelis doesn't help at all.
If you aren't a fan of Rourke, and isn't interested in mediocre religious flicks don't check it.
Caligola (1979)
An interesting idea that has become a colossal disaster !
The idea of depicting the Roman Empire with all it's sexual excesses would be interesting as long as the film didn't have any taboo. However, this was not the case with this project, which involved many high egos in a fight for creative mastery.
First of all, the final editing made by Guccione resulted disastrous, making the film incoherent. The hardcore inserts are out of place, specialy the very long lesbian encounter between Anneka di Lorenzo and Lori Wagner.
In the sexual depertment, it's curious to note that the movie omitted many of the practices that still are taboo today, but that were common in the pagan Rome.There are just two very quick glimpse of gay sex, maybe to not shock the majoritary heterosexual audience. I think that a serious depiction of the costumes of the Ancient Rome shouldn't be limited by the taboos present in our society. Being produced by Penthouse Magazine, it's not surprising that the producer have made the film to its readers!
Teresa Ann Savoy is very badly dubbed (they should have called her to dub herself). The respectable actors don't get involved in anything sexually explicit, what is a shame, considering that the film sets out to be a mixture of porno and art. How can the depraved emperor not be showed in any explicit scene? All scenes where he is having sex are softcore, obviously because respected actors like Malcolm MsDowell and helen Mirren never would accept to do nothing explicit. These people of cinema are very hypocritical.
Anneka di Lorenzo had her career attempt aborted by her XXX scenes in this film and ended up having a tragical and mysterious death in 2011. She was very beautiful and had potential to be a real actress.
Desires of the Devil (1971)
No horror at all, just porn!
This film is just an early obscure gay-themed XXX flick with no artistic value. Basically is about the character of Jim Cassidy having sexual enconters with other men for payment. There is a black man who is seen playing drum, supposedly in a voodoo ritual to catch the attention of Cassidy, but this element is not sufficient to make this a horror/porn film.
Technically, the film is extremely poorly made, what is not surprise, considering it is an adult flick made in 1971.
Jim Cassidy, who appeared in many straight porn under the name Rick Cassidy, was a hot hunk with a beautiful face. Maybe he deserved a career in regular cinema.
Innocenza (1986)
Teresa Ann Savoy isn't in this film!
I didn't wach this film but I'm 100% sure Teresa Ann Savoy isn't in it. I consulted many biographies about her and read a interview in which she discusses all his movies and no metion to this film was made. Some time ago other titles were mistakenly included in her filmography here, but they were removed later. The same must be made with this "Innocenza."
La disubbidienza (1981)
Teresa Ann Savoy deserved something much better than this!
I'm a big fan of the beautiful Teresa Ann Savoy and expected this film to be a good one, especially because she is the second name in the opening credits, which lead me to think she would have much more screen time. But my expectations were frustrated when I finally watch the movie in a very crapped VHS transfer.
The plot is very silly, with a sick boy called Luca (Karl Zinny) being disputed by two women (Savoy and Stefania Sandrelli) during the Republic of Saló period. Luca doesn't have a good relationship with his parents and wants to make a revolution. All this is presented in a very unconvincing way. The plot was based in a book by celebrated author Alberto Moravia, but I think that the book must be better than this adaptation to the big screen.
In the cast, there are some respected names like Mario Ardoff, Marie-Jose Nat, Jacques Perrin and Nanny Loy. The soundtrack by Ennio Morricone is beautiful and the cinematography by Dante Spinotti and Paolo Tassara is effective, but all these elements aren't sufficient to make this a great film. The main problem is the weak screenplay.
What is more frustrating is to see the gorgeous Teresa Ann Savoy in a mere supporting role! With such a beauty, she deserved to be the protagonist in prestigious films. Unfortunately, she had a very poor filmography, having appearing in some bizarre movies in the 70s and being relegated to supporting roles in obscure films in the 80s. What a shame!
Il ragazzo di Ebalus (1984)
This is an amateur film.
I only checked this movie to see the beautiful Teresa Ann Savoy, but it turned out to be a big disappointment. First of all, Teresa appears in very few scenes, not convincing as a terrorist hunting out a former colleague.
The movie is terribly poorly made, with the worst editing work that I ever saw. Allegedly it was direceted by Ferruccio Castronuovo, who only gets billed here as assistant director. Giuseppe Schito was a poet who didn't understand anything about cinema. The plot of the film is pretentious, but the result is childish ingenuity.
It's a shame Teresa Ann Savoy had such a mediocre career. She had potential to be a big star.