So. If you view every film available on Sky Movies in alphabetical order, at the top you get "#Roxy". It was for no other reason that this that I spent an evening in the company of this pretty awful Canadian teen adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac.
Jake Short plays Cyrus, wise ass high schooler who has, for years been in unrequited love with Roxy (Sarah Fisher). When she tells him of her (frankly inexplicable) attraction to Christian (Bamboo Stewart) and Christian separately does the same, Cyrus sees and opportunity to say all the things to Roxy that he wants to, vicariously through the proxy of Christian
Let's get a few positives out of the way first, I actually ended up quite liking the principle cast, towards the end of the film. Ironically, Cyrano De Bergerac actually feels more timely again now, that it has in the last few decades as love letters fell away but now instant messaging and texting is both intimate but potentially anonymous.
But the film is very cheesy. Despite being made in 2018, some of the high school movie clichés are still prevalent. Jocks, Nerds, Goths.... Same as it ever was, as if the movie was made in the 1980's.. And the use of actors who have long since left high school is still happening, the principle bully in the film, I've just looked it up and he's 29 but if you told me he was 40, I'd have believed it. The prosthetic nose on Cyrus was not good, in fact I'm not sure why they stuck with it, I understand it's part of the original story but surely just a lack of confidence would be enough to explain why he refuses to tell Roxy how he feels.
I don't want to eviscerate it too much, but it's a story that you've seen before and more convincingly.