- Dolphin: [to Peter] I'm gonna ask one more question and don't take this the wrong way, but have you actually got a penis?
- Peter Griffin: Yes.
- Dolphin: Where... where is it?
- Peter Griffin: Where is it? It's in there.
- Dolphin: Are you sure? So it's like Mr. Snuffleupagus, is it?
- Peter Griffin: Aw, the hell with this. Lois, get the ruler, we're measuring again.
- Dolphin: Anyway, I'm off to read Meg's diary. Only been here one night, but I get the sense we all dislike Meg.
- Brian Griffin: [when he stops by Stewie's daycare] Hey, Stewie. How's it going?
- Stewie Griffin: Brian, what are you doing here?
- Brian Griffin: Came by to check on my pal. Where's, uh, Miss Emily?
- Stewie Griffin: I haven't seen her yet today. She gave me the keys to open up when she left yesterday. I thought you said you were gonna talk to her.
- Brian Griffin: I did, a-and she's doing her best, you know? She's got a lot on her plate. She's got school, she's got work...
- Stewie Griffin: This is her work!
- Stewie Griffin: [when he finds out Brian is interested in Miss Emily] You're disgusting.
- Brian Griffin: Hey, I'm sorry, but Miss Emily and I have a connection which is totally unexpected. And by the way, I actually think she's doing a pretty good job. She's teaching you guys independence.
- Stewie Griffin: We're one! Independence means we die!
- Brian Griffin: [When Stewie comes home from daycare with one of his arms hanging limply and dragging along the floor] Stewie, what's going on? Aren't you supposed to be at day care?
- Stewie Griffin: I escaped.
- Brian Griffin: What happened to your arm?
- Stewie Griffin: I finally stood up for all of us and told Miss Emily we should be given a proper lunch and not just what's left over from her Baja Fresh, and she said I shouldn't raise my voice and pulled me really hard into the other room, and my arm came out of its socket.
- Brian Griffin: Are you sure? Are you sure you didn't just sleep on it funny?
- Stewie Griffin: Does this look like I slept on it funny? I'm gonna tell Mom! Mom!
- Brian Griffin: [stops Stewie] You are not going anywhere. I finally have a date with Miss Emily tomorrow and I'm not gonna let you or anybody else get in my way until I have seen every inch of her naked.
- Stewie Griffin: Do you even hear yourself? And what am I supposed to do about my arm?
- Brian Griffin: I'll just pop it back in.
- Stewie Griffin: You most certainly will not! I need to go to a hospital.
- Lois Griffin: [off-screen] Brian, is Stewie in there with you?
- Stewie Griffin: Mom!
- [Brian grabs Stewie, putting his hand over his mouth as he rips a page out of his book and stuffs it in his mouth]
- Brian Griffin: We're in here, Lois. He's napping.
- [to Stewie]
- Brian Griffin: Relax. I'm gonna pop it back in.
- [grabs Stewie's arm and starts to pop Stewie's shoulder back in place as Stewie screams into the wad of paper. Stewie pulls free from Brian after a few seconds and tries to crawl away, but Brian grabs him again and continues to try to pop Stewie's shoulder back in place]
- Brian Griffin: Get in there! C... come on! Hold still, Stewie!
- [Brian grabs his book and uses it to pop Stewie's arm back into place, Stewie spits the paper out and coughs as he rubs his arm]
- Stewie Griffin: I'm not saying I like pain, but I'm not saying I don't like it either.
- Stewie Griffin: [after Brian has Miss Emily arrested] Man, when she gets to jail, she's gonna be major lez-chow.
- Brian Griffin: She sure is, Stewie. She sure is.
- Dolphin: Ah. Hello, Joanne.
- Joanna Finn: Billy? What are you doing here?
- Peter Griffin: He's here because he loves you and he wants to patch things up. Hey, how come you ain't got boobs? You like a runner or something?
- Peter Griffin: Tricia Takanawa? What are you doing here?
- Tricia Takanawa: Peter, I'm standing here on your front porch, hoping to kill that dolphin with this harpoon.
- Miss Emily: [to Brian] I should probably go back in there, see how everyone's doing, I guess .
- Brian Griffin: Ah, they're fine. In fact, I see Stewie reading a book.
- Stewie Griffin: Scratch-and-sniff "Lindsay Lohan Goes Jogging."
- [looks at the book]
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, God! That's terrible!
- [picks up another book]
- Stewie Griffin: Oh, here's a pop-up book: "Tommy Lee Goes Boating."
- Peter Griffin: Hi there. Peter Griffin. Y'know, a lot of us here at Family Guy are frankly sickened by the sorry state of education in this country and how little you people read anymore. So, for this next cutaway, we're gonna make you read it. That's right, you heard me. Do a little work once in a while instead of having everything spoon fed. You want your yucks, put in a little effort.
- Dolphin: Thought I might make a go of it on land. So, anything I can ever do, her I am, thank you. Squid pro quo. Thank you for not being shellfish. I just said that for the halibut. Fish puns. Oh, cod. Ha ha ha ha ha.