The Trip (I) (2010)

Steve Coogan: Steve Coogan

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Quotes 

• Rob : You could have a costume drama here, couldn't you?

  Steve : I would love-I'd absolutely-I'd just love to do a costume drama in these hills, leaping, vaulting over dry stone walls with a scabbard, with that dead look in my eyes, 'cause I've seen so many horrors that I'm sort of immune to them, and I'd say something like, "Gentlemen, to bed! Gentlemen, to bed, for we leave at first light. Tomorrow we battle, and we may lose our lives. But remember: death is but a moment. Cowardice is a lifetime affliction."

  Rob : Nice.

  Steve : To bed, for we rise at daybreak!

  Rob : Very good. Very impressive.

  Steve : But they always, they always leave at daybreak. They never leave at, you know, nine-thirty. "Gentlemen to bed, for we leave at nine-thirty!"

  Rob : Ish.

  Steve : Ish. "Gentlemen to bed, for we rise at... What time is the battle? About, oh, twelve o'clock? Twelve o'clock. How is it on horseback, about three hours? So we leave about eight, eight-thirty?"

  Rob : Eight-thirty for nine.

  Steve : "Gentlemen, to bed! For we leave at eight-thirty for nine. And we rise at just after daybreak. Seven-thirty, so just after daybreak. Gentlemen to bed, for we leave at nine-thirty on the dot. On the dot."

  Rob : Do you want to have a run, sire, in the morning? Just to loosen up, sire.

  Steve : Yes.

  Rob : Another thing they never say is, "Right! Well! We'd better make a move. I want to get back in daylight. We'd better make a move."

  Steve : To bed! Tomorrow we ride! We leave at ten-ish.

• Rob : You know, when someone dies, and they go to the funeral, and they say, you know, "We should have done this when he was *alive*! He would have *loved* this!"

  Steve : Hmmm, what, cremated him?

• Steve , Rob : Come, come, Mr. Bond, do you derive just as much pleasure from killing as I do?

• Steve : Death is but a moment... Cowardice is a lifetime of affliction.

• Steve : Gentlemen to bed! For at daybreak I will breakfast.

  Rob : Sire, sire! Tis a continental breakfast. Will only take twenty minutes max.

• Steve : She was only 15 years old. She was only... You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off.