The Bernie Mac Show (TV Series)

Hot, Hot, Hot (2002)

Bernie Mac: Bernie 'Mac' McCullough

Photos 

Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Bernie 'Mac' McCullough : Look at this. I mean, I just went outside to get the newspaper I'm talking about 30 seconds, and look at me. It's so damn hot. California, in the middle of winter it's 95 degrees! "Bernie Mac, why don't you get in your pool?" I can't; it's being drained. But I'll tell you one thing, America, Bernie Mac is going to sit right here and chill for the rest of the day.

• Bernie 'Mac' McCullough : Oh, it's on!

• Bernie 'Mac' McCullough : It's called punishment, not funishment.

• Vanessa : Man, it's like a prison in here!

  Bernie Mac : Oh, you think it's like a prison, huh? Well I got news for you. It ain't. Because in prison, there's HOPE!

• Bernie : Open the door! This isn't funny anymore!

  Vanessa : You're right; It's *hilarious*!

  [she and Jordan laugh] 

• Bernie 'Mac' McCullough : Okay, I'll take them to Splash Canyon, but if they give me one excuse, just one excuse, to turn around I'll take it. Anything. Sneeze. Little one wheezes. Glasses fall. Anything! Big one cop an attitude. Anything! We turn right around and I sit here with my air conditioning guilt-free. Quickness. Woosh! "I thought we were going somewhere". "Psych".

  [Chuckles]