Transformers (2007)
Kevin Dunn: Ron Witwicky
Photos
Quotes
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Judy Witwicky : [barging into Sam's bedroom, her husband in tow] Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?
Ron Witwicky : Judy...
Sam Witwicky : [frantic] Was I master... No, Mom!
Ron Witwicky : Zip it, okay?
Judy Witwicky : It's okay...
Sam Witwicky : No, I don't masturbate!
Ron Witwicky : That's not something for you to bring up.
Judy Witwicky : Okay.
Ron Witwicky : That's a father-and-son thing, okay?
Sam Witwicky : Father-son thing...
Judy Witwicky : I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or...
Sam Witwicky : [amazed] Happy time?
Judy Witwicky : ...my special alone time...
Ron Witwicky : Judy, stop!
Judy Witwicky : ...with myself.
Sam Witwicky : Mom, you can't come in and...
Judy Witwicky : I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink.
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Ron Witwicky : [drives past a Porsche dealer] I've got a little surprise for you, son.
Sam Witwicky : No, no, no, no! Dad! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!
Ron Witwicky : Yeah, I am. You're not getting a Porsche!
[laughs]
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Sam Witwicky : Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up.
Sheriff : It just stood up? Wow. That's really neat. Okay, chiefie. Time to fill her up...
[hands Sam a container and a tissue]
Sheriff : And no drippy-drippy. What are you rolling? Whippets? Goof balls? A little wowie sauce with the boys?
Sam Witwicky : No, I'm not on any drugs!
Sheriff : What's these?
[shows Sam a bottle of pills]
Sheriff : Found it in your pocket. "Mojo". Is that what the kids are doing now, a little bit of Mojo...?
Sam Witwicky : Those are my dog's pain pills.
Ron Witwicky : You know, a Chihauhua. A little...
Sheriff : [annoyed] What was that?
Sam Witwicky : Hmm?
Sheriff : You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go?
[leans over Sam]
Sheriff : Make something happen. Do it. 'Cause I promise you I will bust you up.
Sam Witwicky : [whispers] Are you on drugs?
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[Ratchet runs into power lines, shocking him and causing a tremor throughout the neighborhood]
Ron Witwicky : [crawling under a table] Earthquake! Earthquake! Judy, get under the table!
Judy Witwicky : How did you get over there so fast?
[Outside, a dazed Ratchet staggers to his feet]
Ratchet : Wow... that was tingly! You gotta try that!
Ironhide : [sarcastic] Yeah, that looks fun...
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Bobby Bolivia : [about the Camaro] I'll let you have it for $5,000.
Ron Witwicky : No, I'm not going above $4,000.
Bobby Bolivia : The door just closed.
[turns to Sam]
Bobby Bolivia : Get out of the car.
Sam Witwicky : Wait a minute? I thought you said "the car chooses its owner.",
Bobby Bolivia : Yeah, well sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father!
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Agent Simmons : Ronald Wikity?
Ron Witwicky : It's Witwicky. Who are you?
Agent Simmons : We're the government. Sector Seven.
Ron Witwicky : Never heard of it.
Agent Simmons : Never will.
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Judy Witwicky : Please for the love of God drive safely!
[Sam drives away with the Camaro in a massive cloud of black exhaust]
Judy Witwicky : Wow. You are so cheap.
Ron Witwicky : Well, it's his first car... supposed to be like that.
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Ron Witwicky : You're not taking my son.
Agent Simmons : Really? You gonna get rough with us?
Ron Witwicky : No, but I'm gonna call the cops because there's something fishy going on around here.
Agent Simmons : Yeah. There's something a little fishy about you, your son, your little Taco Bell dog and this whole operation you got going on here.
Ron Witwicky : What operation?
Agent Simmons : That is what we are gonna find out.
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[Ron Witwicky walks towards a window]
Optimus Prime : Quick, hide!
Ratchet : Hide? Where?
[the Autobots manage to get out of sight just as Ron looks outside]
Ron Witwicky : Oh, no... look at the yard! The yard is destroyed! There's sparks flying all over the place... Judy, you better call the City, looks like they got a blown transformer! What a waste... Trashed! Gone!
[appalled, he moves away]
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Ron Witwicky : [brandishing a bat, outside his son's door] 5... 4... It's comin' off the hinges, pal. 3... 2... stand back!
[as Ron gets ready to break the door down, Sam opens it]
Sam Witwicky : What's up?... What's with the bat?
Ron Witwicky : Who were you talking to?
Sam Witwicky : Talkin' to you!
Judy Witwicky : Why are you so sweaty and filthy?
Sam Witwicky : I'm a child, you know, I'm a teenager.
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Sam Witwicky : [in a used car showroom] You ever seen "The 40 Year Old Virgin"?
Ron Witwicky : Yeah...
Sam Witwicky : [points to a car] Well, you see this? This is the 40-year-old virgin...
[points to another car]
Sam Witwicky : And this is the 50-year-old virgin!
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Judy Witwicky : You know, I think that if there really was some kind of... alien infestation... the Government would be the first to tell us.
Ron Witwicky : [fondling Mojo] Yeah... I mean, this is America.
Judy Witwicky : Yeah, that's how we know we're in a free country. There's no secrets. They'd say "Hey! Duck and cover!"
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[watching the news broadcast of meteor crashes]
Judy Witwicky : What did he say?
Ron Witwicky : What?
Judy Witwicky : What did Jack say? Did he see it?
Ron Witwicky : Yeah he saw it. He thinks it's a military experiment.
Judy Witwicky : What a knucklehead.
Ron Witwicky : Yeah. I told him it was a plane.