Chevy Chase: Clark Griswold
Photos
Quotes
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Clark Griswold : There's Buckingham Palace, kids. That's where the Queen lives and works.
Audrey Griswold : Works? What does she do, Dad?
Clark Griswold : She queens... and vacuums.
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[in Germany, Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes]
Clark Griswold : There it is, kids. My motherland.
Rusty Griswold : Dad, Grandma's from Chicago.
Clark Griswold : Shut up, Russ.
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[In England]
Ellen Griswold : Clark, you're driving on the wrong side of the road!
Clark Griswold : I realize that honey. I'm also on the wrong side of the car.
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Kent Winkdale, host of 'Pig in a Poke' : What are the pyramidal tracks?
Clark Griswold : [thinking] ... Kent, I believe the pyramidal tracks are housing development outside of Cairo.
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Stewardess : Do you want something to drink?
Clark Griswold : [to Ellen] Honey, you want something?
Ellen Griswold : No thank you.
Clark Griswold : [to the Stewardess] I'll have a Coke.
Stewardess : Do you want that in the can?
Clark Griswold : [Clark turns and looks at the bathroom, then turns back at the Stewardess] No, I'll have it right here.
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Rusty Griswold : [watching the romantic couple make out at the table] Dad he's grabbing her tits right there at the table!
Clark Griswold : Just eat your breakfast, Russ.
Rusty Griswold : [Rusty still watching the couple] ... Dad, I think he's gonna pork her.
Clark Griswold : He's not gonna pork her, Russ.
Rusty Griswold : I think he's gonna.
Clark Griswold : He may pork her, finish your breakfast.
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Clark Griswold : [singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time./I'm feeling so high, I just can't stand it/It's as if I've been here for at least a week.
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Clark Griswold : [Clark is driving around Lambeth Bridge Roundabout in London, England, and is unable to turn to the left] Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament... again.
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[In England, Rusty sees a young man with a punk Mohawk haircut]
Rusty Griswold : That's it! That's it! That's the way I want my haircut, Dad!
Clark Griswold : Rusty, you don't want to look like a rooster do you?
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Rusty Griswold : Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do?
Clark Griswold : That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
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Ellen Griswold : Look back there!
Clark Griswold : Yeah, it's just a hooker. They're all over the place.
Ellen Griswold : Look who she's with!
[Clark looks back, and sees that Rusty is with the hooker]
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Ellen Griswold : Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people?
Clark Griswold : Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.
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Ellen Griswold : [In their hotel room in England, Ellen opens a door, only to find a closet, and discovering there is no bathroom] Clark, there's no bathroom.
Clark Griswold : Of course there's a bathroom. Europeans go to the bathroom, don't they?
[Clark opens the door to his left to find another closet with a mattress inside]
Clark Griswold : Maybe they don't.
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Clark Griswold : There's the Left Bank, kids. Russ, I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right.
Rusty Griswold : The Bank of America.
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[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper]
Clark Griswold : Get in.
Rusty Griswold : What Happened?
Audrey Griswold : Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped.
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[In Germany, Clark is looking for their relatives house]
Clark Griswold : What are we looking for?
Audrey Griswold : Sechs, Dad.
[Pronounces it as "Sex"]
Clark Griswold : That'll do Audrey.
Rusty Griswold : Dad, that's German for six.
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Ellen Griswold : I felt like staying in. I thought it would be really nice to be alone.
Clark Griswold : Honey, I could never go anywhere without you.
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Clark Griswold : Uh, guten tag, my family and I are looking for sechs
[pronounced sex]
German Man : Schweinhund!
[slams door]
