Vacation (1983)

Anthony Michael Hall: Rusty Griswold

Photos 

Quotes 

• Clark Griswald : I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fuckin' fun park and you want to bail out! Well I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun. We're all gonna have so much fuckin' fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling 'Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah' out of your assholes! Hahaha. I gotta be crazy, I'm on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Holy shit!

  Rusty Griswold : [grabs Clark's shoulder]  Dad, you want an aspirin or somethin'?

  Clark Griswald : ...DON'T TOUCH!

• Rusty Griswold : Wow dad, we must have jumped that rail by like 50 yards.

  Clark Griswald : Nothing to be proud of Russ...

  [pauses as Rusty walks away] 

  Clark Griswald : [proudly]  ... 50 yards...

• [after driving off the road] 

  Ellen Griswold : I think I broke my nose.

  Rusty Griswold : I stabbed my brain.

  Audrey Griswold : I just got my period.

• Rusty Griswold : Is that a real gun, Mom?

  Ellen Griswold : I don't know, Rusty, but when this is all over, your father... may be going away for a little while.

• Rusty Griswold : Hey, ya' got Pac Man?

  Cousin Dale : No.

  Rusty Griswold : Ya' got Space Invaders?

  Cousin Dale : Nope.

  Rusty Griswold : Ya' got Asteroids?

  Cousin Dale : Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.

• Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld : Has your father ever killed anyone?

  Rusty : Just a dog. Oh and my Aunt Edna.

  Clark Griswald : Hey you can't prove that Russ.

• Aunt Edna : I was afraid you'd get pulled over, Clark. You've been exeeding the speed limit for thousands of miles!

  Rusty Griswold : Dad wasn't speeding. The cop stopped us because Dad forgot to...

  Ellen Griswold : He was speeding, Rusty!

  Rusty Griswold : No he wasn't, Mom. He...

  Clark : Rusty! Listen to your mother. I was speeding. I was driving like a maniac. We can all be grateful for this man for stopping us. You see kids...

  [the motorcycle cop appears at the car window with the dog leash] 

  Motorcycle Cop : Here's the leash, sir. I'm going back to get the rest of the carcass off the road.

• Rusty Griswold : Dad, this is not the car you ordered!

  Clark Griswald : Settle down Russ. Let me handle this. Ed, uh... this is not the car I ordered. I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with the C.B. and optional rally fun pack.

  Ed, the car salesman : You didn't order the Metallic Pea?

  Clark Griswald : Metallic Pea?

• Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld : Rusty, may I call you Rusty? I had a bad experience on this ride once.

  Rusty Griswold : What happened?

  Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld : I threw up.

• Rusty Griswold : Mom, my sandwich is all wet.

  Ellen Griswold : They're all wet... Oh God!... The dog wet on the picnic basket.

• Clark Griswald : I've spent the last 15 years of my life developing newer and better food additives. I guess I've missed an awful lot. At first, I didn't want to take this vacation. But, now I'm glad I did. It's given me a chance to spend a lot more time with you and... uh...

  Rusty : Audrey.

  Clark Griswald : Audrey, yeah.

• Aunt Edna : Clark, Dinkums needs a long walk and a bath.

  Clark Griswald : Rusty take care of Dinkums.

  Rusty : Dad he bites.

  Clark Griswald : Bite him back.

• [looking at the dead Aunt Edna in the back seat] 

  Ellen Griswold : She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff. What are we going to do, Clark?

  Clark Griswald : Well, we could leave her here and the first phone we pass, we could call your Cousin Normie and he could come and get her, I guess.

  Ellen Griswold : That is the meanest, coldest...

  Clark Griswald : Well what do you want me to do? Call Federal Express?

  Audrey Griswold : Mom, we don't have to ride with a dead person, do we? Please say we don't!

  Rusty Griswold : Yeah, come on, Mom. It'll be real easy for Cousin Normie to find her. All they have to do is look for the buzzards.

• Rusty Griswold : That was a crummy Wyatt Earp dad. He was wearing jogging shoes.

  Clark Griswald : They used to Rusty.