Butterflies Are Free (1972)

Eileen Heckart: Mrs. Baker

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Baker : [interrogating Jill about being divorced]  How long were you married?

  Jill : Six days.

  Mrs. Baker : And on the seventh day you rested?

  Jill : No, I split.

• Mrs. Baker : [talking about Ralph's play]  I wouldn't count on the support of this giddy little matron. I do not intend to pay money to see nudity, obscenity and degeneracy.

  Ralph : Mrs. Baker, these things are all a part of life.

  Mrs. Baker : I know, Mr. Santori. So is diarrhea, but I wouldn't classify it as entertainment.

• Mrs. Baker : I suppose Linda Fletcher put this guitar idea into your head.

  Don : You might say she was instrumental.

  Mrs. Baker : Oh, boy.

  Don : That was another joke. Look, you're going to have to start laughing at something or people are going to think you're a lesbian.

  Mrs. Baker : You have certainly picked up some colorful language, haven't you?

• Mrs. Baker : [Jill says she has to go to an audition]  Then you're an actress?

  Jill : Well, yeah.

  Mrs. Baker : Might I have seen you in anything, besides your underwear?

  Jill : Um, not unless you went to Beverly Hills High School. I was in The Mikado. I played Yum-Yum.

  Mrs. Baker : [laughing]  Yes, I'm sure you did.

• Mrs. Baker : [trying to make Don come home]  If you insist on staying here, I will not support you.

  [Don goes to the phone] 

  Mrs. Baker : What're you doing?

  Don : Calling The Chronicle. What a story! 'Florence Baker Refuses to Help the Handicapped!'

  Mrs. Baker : Donnie, I'm serious.

  Don : Oh, well, then I'll call the New York Times.

  Mrs. Baker : What are you going to do for money? The little you saved must be gone now.

  Don : I can always walk along the streets with a tin cup.

  Mrs. Baker : Now you're embarrassing me.

  Don : Oh, no, I'll stay away from Saks.

• Jill : [talking about auditioning for the play naked]  I don't think anyone could call me a prude.

  Mrs. Baker : [mock outrage]  I'd like to see them try!

  Jill : Well, at first I hated the idea of getting completely undressed, but there were, like, twenty or thirty actors all around me, all naked, and I was the only one with clothes on! How would you feel?

  Mrs. Baker : Warm, all over.

• [Don and Mrs. Baker are arguing over his decision to support himself as a singer] 

  Mrs. Baker : May I ask how you arrived at this brilliant decision?

  Don : It was elementary, my dear mother - by the process of elimination. I made a lengthy list of all the things I couldn't do: like commercial airline pilot. I doubt that TWA would be too thrilled at having me fly their planes - nor United - nor Pan Am. Photographer? A definite out - along with ball player and cab driver. Matador - didn't strike me as too promising.

  Mrs. Baker : Honestly.

  Don : I half-considered becoming an eye doctor, but then that would just be a case of the blind leading the blind.

• Don : [phone rings]  I'm fine, thank you. How are you? It's warm here. How is it in Hillsborough? Well, it's warm here too.

  [picks up phone] 

  Don : Hello, Mother.

  Mrs. Baker : [on the other end]  How did you know?

  Don : When you call, the phone doesn't ring. It says 'M is for the million things she gave me. O is for... ' I forgot what O is for.

  Mrs. Baker : You seem to have forgotten a lot of things lately. How are you feeling?

  Don : I'm fine, thank you. How are you?

  Mrs. Baker : Very well. How's the weather?

  Don : It's warm here. How is it in Hillsborough?

  Mrs. Baker : Warm.

  Don : Well, it's warm here too.

• Mrs. Baker : [looking around Don's apartment]  Where did this furniture come from?

  Don : Some of it came with the apartment, the rest I picked up at a junk shop.

  Mrs. Baker : Well, don't tell me which is which, let me guess.

• Mrs. Baker : And what is that on your head?

  Don : [wearing the hat he bought with Jill]  French foreign legion cap.

  Mrs. Baker : Oh, have you enlisted?

  Don : No, I was drafted.

• Don : I don't want you talking to my friends when i'm not around.

  Mrs. Baker : I'll make a note of that.

• Mrs. Baker : You can't see the difference between good and bad. I can. I can look into people's faces, into their eyes. You can't.

  Don : But, I can see past their eyes and into their souls.

• Mrs. Baker : Mrs. Benson is not exactly the girl a mother dreams of for her son.

  Don : I'm not interested in the girl of *your* dreams.

  Mrs. Baker : She's got beady little eyes like a bird and a figure like a flagpole.

  Don : You've described the girl of my dreams.

• Mrs. Baker : My worst fears have been realized.

  Don : Thank heaven for that. My worst fear was that your worst fears wouldn't be realized. Can you imagine if you came in here and liked it?

• Mrs. Baker : May I ask you a personal question?

  Don : No.

  Mrs. Baker : Have you slept with this girl?

  Don : I thought you'd never ask. Yes, I have.

  Mrs. Baker : As if I didn't know.

  Don : Well, if you know, then why do you ask?

• Mrs. Baker : Stop it now before you hurt him.

  Jill : What about you? Aren't you hurting him?

  Mrs. Baker : I can't. I can only irritate him. You can hurt him.

• Don : Please, I don't want to smell you here when I get back.

  Mrs. Baker : And after dinner, I suppose an orgy.

  Don : I hope so.

• Don : Listen, you don't have to hang around, you know.

  Mrs. Baker : Oh, I'll just wait here until she gets back. I'm not going to interfere with your orgy. I told you that.

  Don : No, I told *you* that.