- Ralph Baitz: The human heart could never pass the drunk test. Take a human heart out of a human body, put legs on it and tell it to walk a straight line, and it couldn't. The heart could never pass a drunk test.
- Dorothea Bates: Ralph?
- Ralph Baitz: Yeah?
- Dorothea Bates: Did you really think I was homely?
- Ralph Baitz: Oh, no, no, Dotty, no honey. You were never *really* homely. You just had sort of a... off-beat face, that's all.
- [They both chuckle]
- Ralph Baitz: I didn't marry you grittin' my teeth and shudderin', the way you make it sound. Honey, I liked you. I sincerely liked and respected you.
- Dorothea Bates: I don't wanna be respected. That's the way men feel about homely women.
- Ralph Baitz: But you're not homely. Not anymore.
- Dorothea Bates: When you been a homely girl, you feel homely all your life. They can change your teeth or fix your nose, give you a whole new face- doesn't make any difference. You always know.
- Ralph Baitz: Dotty, look, I've told you a hundred times. You've improved in appearance.
- Dorothea Bates: But every time you see a beautiful girl... you feel cheated.
- Ralph Baitz: Honey, anytime any married man sees a beautiful girl he feels cheated.
- George Haverstick: No! No, I don't want a lecture on marriage from a man spendin' Christmas Eve with a cocker spaniel dog!