Pal Joey (1957)

Frank Sinatra: Joey Evans

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Joey Evans : After all, two years is a long time between... drinks.

• Linda English : What did I do last night?

  Joey Evans : You kissed me.

  Linda English : I wasn't myself.

  Joey Evans : Yeah, but, whoever you were, you were great!

  Linda English : Oh. Then what?

  Joey Evans : Then you passed out.

  Linda English : I'm ashamed of myself.

  Joey Evans : Me too.

  Linda English : Why? What did you do?

  Joey Evans : Nothin'.

• Joey Evans : The only thing I'm superstitious about is 13 in a bed.

• Linda English : My mother says a nice girl is a nice girl wherever she is.

  Joey Evans : Yeah, I know, and a bum is a bum.

• Joey Evans : Some guys have a system with horses and I've got a system with dames.

  Mike Miggins : Hit me.

  Joey Evans : It's a snap. You treat a dame like a lady and treat a lady like a dame.

• Linda English : What about last night? I made fool out of myself and you didn't take advantage of it.

  Joey Evans : Oh, don't pin any medals on me. It just so happens that in my book it takes two to tango.

• [first lines] 

  Joey Evans : Now, wait a minute, fellas. You got this all wrong. I never laid a hand on her.

  Policeman : Yeah, we got there just in time.

  Detective : That's the trouble with you nightclub entertainers, you're all alike. You think you own every dame in the country.

  Joey Evans : Now, wait a minute, show me a law in the country that says I can't buy a doll a friendly drink.

  Detective : No law. Just don't buy a drink in your hotel room for a doll that's underage.

  Policeman : Come on, let's get goin' bud.

  Joey Evans : Now, wait a minute, how did I know she was jailbait? She looked like she was 35. Why, I should ask for a driver's license or somethin'?

  Policeman : If you had, you would have found out she was the mayor's daughter.

• Joey Evans : Hey, who's the mouse with the built?

  Ned Galvin : Oh, you got to lay off of her, Joey. She's a nice kid. Has ambition too. She wants to be a singer. By the way, I'm helping her with some of her arrangements.

  Joey Evans : Looks like she's pretty well arranged as it is.

• Joey Evans : I don't recognize the body; but, the face is familiar.

  Ned Galvin : That's Mrs. Prentice-Simpson. She owns the place.

  Joey Evans : She didn't pick up that action at Arthur Murray's.

  Ned Galvin : Oh, you're right. She used to be Vera Vanessa. She used to be in show business. Then, she married a wealthy guy and retired. Don't you remember? It was all in the papers.

  Joey Evans : Oh, yeah. Now, I remember. Vanessa the Undressa. I just didn't recognize her with her clothes on. Not a bad lookin' mouse.

  Ned Galvin : Yeah, it's too bad you can't afford her brand of cheese.

• Linda English : You cook?

  Joey Evans : Well, you can't go through your life on Wheaties alone.

• Joey Evans : Fix your face and put on your dress. We're gonna do a love song.

• Joey Evans : I told you something once. I'm gonna tell it to you again. Nobody owns Joey, but Joey.

  Vera Simpson : I'll show you who owns Joey.

• Vera Simpson : Who is that?

  Joey Evans : One of the mice in the line.

• Joey Evans : Well, good morning!

  Linda English : What's good about it?

  Joey Evans : Oh, your first hangover? Huh? Well, there's a first time for everybody.

  Linda English : Why do people drink when you feel so awful the morning after?

  Joey Evans : Maybe because it feels so good the night before.

• Travelers' Aid : Aid, young man? Can I give you aid?

  Joey Evans : What did you have in mind?

  Travelers' Aid : I beg your pardon!

• Joey Evans : You need a singer?

  Club Manager : Singer? I don't care if you sing like a nightingale. I'm runnin' a girls' show. Legs, not tonsils.

• Joey Evans : [to a Chinese hat check girl]  How are your fortune cookies?

• Joey Evans : Listen, can we go someplace after the show, have a cup of coffee and yak up old times - have some laughs?

  Ned Galvin : That'd be good; but, I got a date with a girl.

  Joey Evans : Well, if she's a good lookin' chick, bring her along.

• Joey Evans : You won't believe this, but, I was really born right here in this town, right on top of Telegraph Hill. Yes sir, my mother was sending a wire at the time.

• Joey Evans : She was singin' all those ballads in a draggy jazz and one day when the fleet landed she wanted to know from me what would please the sailors most. So, I told her. Things were never the same between us again.

• Mrs. Casey : Sure you're not one of those sex fiends?

  Joey Evans : Me? No. But, I'm not against it.

• Joey Evans : I'd like something quiet. You wouldn't have a room, maybe next to someone who works at nights, would you?

  Mrs. Casey : I've got just the thing! Second floor, front. Next to a young lady, an actress. But, very refined. You share a bath.

  Joey Evans : We do?

  Mrs. Casey : Oh, she's nice and clean.

• Mrs. Casey : I don't allow pets, cooking in the room, or guests of the opposite sex - unless related.

  Joey Evans : Oh, well I have several nieces.

  Mrs. Casey : That'll be $40 a month.

• Joey Evans : [to Linda]  You shouldn't really wear pajamas. You're definitely the nightgown type. The shorties.

• Joey Evans : Now, look, I don't want to complain; but, you used all the hot water this morning.

  Linda English : Well, I thought that you could use a cold shower.

• Redhead Chorus Girl : Hey, Joey.

  Joey Evans : Hi, doll.

  Redhead Chorus Girl : Stop over tonight? I want to show you the hi-fi.

  Joey Evans : [to Mike]  Oh, this kid's got a fine woofer and tweeter.

• Joey Evans : If you ever get tired of being a wealthy widow, you might like to go back into show business.

  Vera Simpson : No, thank you. I like being Mrs. Prentice-Simpson.

  Joey Evans : Well, I'm not knocking you being Mrs. Prentice-Simpson. But, I just thought you and me as a team, we'd make a dandy double.

  Vera Simpson : Aren't you afraid you might find me a bit rusty?

  Joey Evans : Don't be ridiculous. Why don't you get out of something uncomfortable and I'll give you a small audition.

  Vera Simpson : Oh, Beauty, you have all the subtlety of a battering ram.

• Linda English : I thought maybe you ought to do the strip.

  Joey Evans : The strip? But, Gladys does that number. You wind up out there with nothing on. What do you think I am?

  Linda English : I think you're the best built mouse in the joint! So, we might as well take advantage of it.

• Gladys : I heard about you, buster.

  Joey Evans : A big reputation.

  Gladys : Yeah, but I'm too much of a lady to say what for. My sister worked with you in Fresno. She told me all about you.

  Joey Evans : Which one was she?

  Gladys : The one you didn't get to first base with.

  Joey Evans : Oh, she was the ugly one. You must be twins.

  Gladys : Ha!

  Joey Evans : Har-har.

• Joey Evans : What is this?

  Vera Simpson : [gets up to leave]  Oh, we were just slumming, Beauty, and we have a lot of spots to make. What's next boys? That place where the young lady dances with the snakes?

• Joey Evans : What I really came up here for is to straighten you out. So you wouldn't get any wrong ideas why I made a play for you. I wouldn't want you to get any cock-eyed impressions, for instance, that you appeal to me. The only thing about you that appeals to me is your M-U-N-Y - money.

• [repeated line] 

  Joey Evans : I'll take you out to the Cliff House and we'll have shrimp cocktail, steak and French fries and a little wine, you know, the whole mishmash.

• Joey Evans : Nobody owns Joey but Joey.

• Vera Simpson : When did she spring from the chorus?

  Joey Evans : Who?

  Vera Simpson : The mouse in the spotlight. Oh, I'm beginning to talk like you.

  Joey Evans : Oh, you mean Linda? Well, she's Ned's girl and he's kinda stuck on her and, you know, we talked it over and we think she was ready.

  Vera Simpson : Ready for what?

• Vera Simpson : I'll make it simple for you: she's out.

  Joey Evans : You mean you want me to fire her?

  Vera Simpson : Yes, partner. You see, I figure its the only way to protect my investment. I don't mean the club, I mean you!

• Vera Simpson : Don't let it bother you. I'm sure she'll have no trouble finding another job.

  Joey Evans : Sure, she can always pitch for the New York Giants.

• Joey Evans : Wowie! Wow-wow-wow!

• Linda English : I wonder what she'd say if she could see me now? Hmm?

  Joey Evans : She'd say that you were stoned. She'd also want to know what you're doing in my bedroom.

  Linda English : I decided to take your offer.

  Joey Evans : What offer?

  Linda English : Strip! Peeled. Take it off and let it lay.

• Joey Evans : You mean you'd chuck the whole thing - over one stagestruck little broad?

  Vera Simpson : It isn't just one stagestruck little broad.

• Joey Evans : I'm sorry to tell you this kids; but, the party's over. The little lady picked up her marbles and went home.

• Joey Evans : [singing]  What Do I Care For a Dame? What Do I Care For a Dame? Every ole dame is the same, Every hokey dame is the same...

• Joey Evans : [singing]  What Do I Care For the Skirts? What Do I Care For the Skirts? I'll make 'em pay till it hurts, Let 'em put up till it hurts...

• Joey Evans : Why don't you beat it?

• Joey Evans : I can use a girl in the act - give it a little class.

  Linda English : I could always do a strip!

• Joey Evans : [holding affectionate dog, "Snuffy"]  See, he loves me

  Linda English : Dont let it go to your head

• Vera Simpson : Why didn't you bring him

  ["Snuffy" the dog] 

  Vera Simpson : with you?

  Joey Evans : Because he wasn't yet yacht broken.

• Joey Evans : Not a bad lookin' mouse.

  Ned Galvin : Yeah. Too bad you can't afford her brand of cheese.

• Joey Evans : The only thing about you that appeals to me is your M-U-N-Y, money. Do I make myself clear?

  Vera Simpson : Crystal clear.

• Ned Galvin : I know. I'm gonna hate myself in the morning.

  Joey Evans : You mean I have to wait that long?